Ring, ring...ring, ring...rryrooooOOWWWWWW! ninaninaninaaaaa! schwimple, schwimple, schwimple...
Harry sat back in his chair, the delicious shudder of sexual electricity that the sound of the internet connecting always gave him was bringing about a pleasant hard on.
Clicking his way through the screen, Harry quickly found his way into the chatrooms, and once again into the life of his mysterious lover.
scarrD: ru there?
There was a pause of a few seconds. Harry always hated waiting.
blondE: I'm here, been waiting 4U...
Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Quickly he unzipped his jeans and opened the lid of Merlin's Multipurpose Moisturiser, poured a generous helping on his left hand and placed his right one back on the keyboard.
scarrD: ur sounding a bit desperate <g>
blondE: always ;)
Harry chuckled softly to himself as he wrapped his hand lightly around his cock, a well practiced move in recent times. Ever since he had first met blondE in the Hogwarts Homo-magical Chatroom, anyway. He'd been obsessed ever since; the boy was obviously a student but he couldn't for the life of him guess who it was. Ever since their first meeting where Harry had experienced the most exciting cybersex of his life, he had been scanning the corridors of Hogwarts for anyone that fitted his idea of 'blondE'. Harry, after all, was quite a bright young boy so had come to the tentative conclusion after about three weeks that blondE probably was blonde.
And so his quest began. Every blonde person he passed in the corridors was an instant qualifier and he spent all his free time researching into the habits of each one. Unfortunately, each blonde student so far was rejected from the list due to one reason or another, until none were left. Well, technically there was Malfoy, but that was so laughable it wasn't even worth considering. Malfoy was not 'intellectually gifted' enough to flirt so smoothly with anyone, anyway, thought Harry with a grin. He had the suspicion that the Slytherin boy was so stereotypically blonde that he actually peroxided his *naturally* blonde hair.
scarrD: So, blondE, when ru going to come to me in RL?
blondE: When I find out who ur...
Harry smiled slightly. He'd always thought that using the alias of 'scarrD' might slightly give him away due to him being the only boy in Hogwarts with a famous scar. Obviously not, much to his surprise and relief. Maybe it was a variation of the Superman Effect - what stares you in the face is sometimes the hardest to see. Or else the entire of Hogwarts was so preoccupied with 'getting some', that they couldn't care less about decyphering some stranger's spelling.
scarrD: Nice try.
Harry grinned. He wanted to know who blondE was, but on his own terms.
blondE: So, I'm horny - how about we finish with the small talk and get down to business.
scarrD: ur too eager. How about we take it slow.
blondE: I'm sitting here at my computer, a massive erection in my lap, my hand stroking it hard as I think about you...
Harry's left hand began a gentle but determined stroking of the length of his cock. His idea of taking it slow.
scarrD: Ok, fast is good with me, sexy... <veg>
blondE: So, tell me more about yourself. Likes...wants...desires...
scarrD: You.
blondE: ur a little whore. I like it. <veg>
Harry smirked, his hand quickening its movements against his full-grown erection. He loved it when blondE talked dirty. He grinned to himself as he thought of teasing his mysterious lover.
scarrD: I want you, on the Quidditch pitch...naked and bent over a hovering broomstick, my firebolt behind you, pointed ready for entry...
blondE: you think you could control me? Try this: me behind you, in Potions, thrusting you hard into Snape's desk i've got you bent over...
scarrD: you like *Potions*...?
blondE: you own a *Firebolt*...?
*******
Harry paused in his typing, the realisation that blondE was in some way liking Potions was a worrying admission. He was probably Slytherin! Blonde hair and from Slytherin... Harry shook his head in confusion. Who could it *be*?!
blondE: Hey, scarrD, you own a firebolt so ur probably rich, huh? You in Slytherin?
Harry grinned. Obviously his mysterious boy was as thick as a plank.
scarrD: Maybe, maybe not. You'd like it if I was, though, because I reckon *you* are.
blondE: maybe, maybe not ;)
Harry chuckled. This could keep going forever, and he had more important things to do...such as masturbate.
scarrD: Slytherin or not, how about we get down to business. I'm thinking...you, in my bed chamber, on your stomach, legs spread wide, waiting for me to pound you into the mattress...
blondE: ...and I'll scream out your name as I come, waking your whole dorm... Though, you'd have to tell me your name for that to be possible...
scarrD: nice try <g>. I'll save you the trouble of knowing my name by gagging you first after tying you to the bed.
blondE: you think you could overpower me?
scarrD: I wouldn't mind giving it a go... you struggling against me, us both naked as we fight over who gets to top...
Harry's left hand increased its speed as he pictured his fantasy, though secretly he admitted to himself that he wouldn't object if he lost the struggle. He sensed that blondE has a kind of intrinsic power to him, like he was born to rule.
blondE: I'll win. I'll hold you down, put my thighs on either side of your head and make you suck me off. And I'll watch it all.
Harry nearly came over his computer screen at the thought, but a few deep breaths followed by forced thoughts of the Dursley's grunting away in their bed, sent his erection shriveling back to a manageable state. The image of the Dursley's, one he usually reserved only for classroom emergency erection-deflations, was a little extreme for this occasion and so he quickly focused on blondE to rescue the situation.
scarrD: I'll stare you in the eyes as I swallow you whole.
There was minute's pause before a response came. Harry laughed lightly, his own erection growing again as he knew his reply must have caused blondE his own control problems.
blondE: I'd expect no less ;) Tell me, do you want me to suck *you* off? Me under your table in the Hall while you listen to one of Dumbledore's speeches...
Harry's eyes lit up as his hand resumed its pace once again. ScarrD knew him well.
scarrD: I'll have my foot in your lap, playing with your dick...
blondE: I'll get Crabbe and Goyle to sit either side of you. Hold your legs still...
scarrD: I'll get all the Weasleys to sit opposite and take turns in jabbing toes up your arse <veg>
There was another pause.
blondE: ur friends with the *Weasleys*?!
scarrD: ur friends with *Crabbe* and *Goyle*??!
***********
Harry frantically disconnected from the internet and flicked the computer off. He jumped out of his seat, ignoring the semi-erect cock between his legs that complained at the sudden movement. He stood in shock.
The boy *must* be Slytherin!! Harry couldn't believe it. There was no excusing the admission this time. No one outside of Slytherin liked Crabbe and Goyle at all. Harry furrowed his scarred brow in frustration. Blonde, in Slytherin, obviously close to Crabbe and Goyle... There was really no denying the truth any longer.
"ARRGH!" he yelled out loud in disgust. "It must be a *girl*!!!"
Harry slumped down in his chair again, extremely distressed. The answer was so simple. He hadn't been able to find a boy fitting the clues as there wasn't one!
A girl! Harry stood up and began pacing the room. A girl, posing as a boy just so she could trick real boys into talking about what they wanted to do with other boys. Harry shook his head, baffled. Why would any girl want to do *that*?
His pacing took him out of the dormitories and down the long corridors of Hogwarts. He vaguely noticed Malfoy shoot past him, white as a ghost, muttering something about Professor McGonagall. He hardly took notice as he was far too concerned with his own problems.
Harry looked up a few minutes later and saw he was standing in front of the doors to the Great Hall. Sighing and hoping for a distraction from his worrying discovery, he entered and gazed around for Ron or Hermione. Neither was there, but he did spot Fred and George playing Naughty Numbers on the Gryffindor table.
"Hi, Fred. George," he said as he approached.
"Number eight, you're not straight!" yelled George at Fred as he placed a card upon the table. "Hi, Harry," he said eventually, grinning and patting the seat bench next to him.
"Yeah, hi Harry," said Fred, as he placed his own card on top of George's. "Number Four, you're a whore!" he yelled back at his twin, grabbing both cards as that somehow had signified a won round.
"Problem?" asked George as he shuffled his own cards.
Harry sighed dejectedly. "Nuh, it's nothing."
Fred and George stopped their game, and Fred jumped the table to come sit on the other side of Harry.
"Tell us all out it," they cooed in unison, equally large grins on their faces as they each wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders.
"Weeeell," started Harry, unsure he really wanted to admit his problem to the twins for fear he'd never hear the end of their teasing.
Much to his surprise, though, Fred and George instead smiled kindly and shuffled further against him. "Come on, tell us," George said, and Fred nodded his agreement.
Harry sighed. "Oh, ok. Look, it's kinda embarrassing so don't tease."
Fred and George shook their heads as though the very idea was an insult.
"Well," continued Harry. "I've been having this internet...er..."
"Hogwarts Homo-magical chatroom?" asked Fred.
Harry gaped at him in shock. "How did you know what I was going to say?!"
Fred grinned. "Oh, please, we've all been there. Every computer in every dorm has it as their homepage."
Harry blushed. "Yeah, well I know that, but still..." he replied, feeling his reputation was being slightly soiled for being so obviously into masturbation. "Anyway," he continued, "I met this guy. We've been talking..."
"Talking?" echoed George, with a huge grin and a waggle of an eyebrow.
Harry couldn't help but snort a laugh out his nose. "Amongst other things," he replied with a grin. "Anyway, I didn't know who he was, though he kept dropping clues. But..." he paused to shudder. "I put them together today." He sighed as began counting the clues off on his fingers. "He's blonde. In Slytherin. And is friends with Crabbe and Goyle."
Fred and George spewed their shocked laughter across the room. It took them a full ten minutes to calm down, and then only because they needed to stop Harry from jumping indignantly from his chair and leaving the Hall.
"Wait! Wait!" yelled Fred between gulps of laughter. "We're sorry! Please, stay!"
Harry grimaced but decided he might as well stay as he really didn't have anywhere else to go.
"So now you know," he said. He shook his head, still in disbelief at his blindness to the obvious. "I *still* can't believe I was having cybersex with a *girl*!!"
The laughter stopped immediately.
"What??" exclaimed the twins in unison, staring at Harry as though he had suddenly lost the only brain cell his head currently had in residence.
"What, 'what'?" retaliated Harry, completely baffled as to why Fred and George were staring at him so strangely.
The twins turned to each other and proceeded to have a silent conversation of expressions before a unanimous decision was reached.
"Err...Harry," said Fred, sidling closer to his friend. "Are you basing that assumption on just the evidence you told us?"
Harry nodded, confused. "Well, yes..."
"Harry," said George, putting on his voice reserved for the younger and less intelligent of students. "I think you might have hit off target, there."
Harry's brow furrowed for the second time that day as he strained to think of what he could be missing.
"Yeah," said Fred, putting an arm around Harry's shoulders. "You *sure* there's no other *guy* you might have missed that still fits that description?"
Harry thought hard. Blonde. Slytherin. Crabbe and Goyle. "No."
The twins began to feel very sorry for their friend who obviously was developing quite a brain strain from the effort. They decided the direct approach might be best.
"*Malfoy*!" they almost shouted at him in unison.
Harry let out a laugh, his features relaxing instantly. "Oh, NO!" he cried, grinning at the very thought. "Don't be silly! It's not going to be *him*!"
When the twins failed to change their expressions of seriousness, Harry rose from his chair, still shaking his head at the absurdity of the thought. "Well, if you two are going to keep up this act, I'm leaving!" he declared, grinning. He turned and made towards the door. "Malfoy!" the twins heard him muttering in laughter as he left the room.
*********
Harry found himself wandering the corridors once again, though this time his direction seemed to be headed from the Computer Room. It was a Common Room Dumbledore had set up after realising he would never see the students socialising at all if they spent all the time in their own private dormitories. He entered.
"Ron!"
Harry waved after spotting his best friend typing madly away at a computer far in the corner. Ron, slightly flustered and blushing, waved back and then returned his gaze to his screen once more.
Harry sighed and looked around the room for a spare computer. There were hundreds lined up, slightly twisting dimensions in their attempt to all cram into a room that should, if nature had a say, be the size of a standard broom closet. Luckily, this was Hogwarts, and anything was possible.
Finally Harry spotted a free computer towards the middle of the room and made his way towards it. He stopped in his tracks halfway to its position.
He wanted to go on the net, he realised. He was going on the net again to find BlondE?!
He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Sure, he was convinced it was a girl, but still, he found himself wanting to accuse her online. Yes, that was the only reason, he thought. Well, he snorted with a grin at his own absurdity, it's not like the reason he wanted to talk to her was that he was *straight*!
Harry laughed out loud at the thought, causing a few students nearby to turn their heads at the noise. He apologized absentmindedly and continued on his way to the computer. Unfortunately, as he got closer, he found his free spot was right next to Malfoy.
He stood, evaluating the situation. Well, he thought. He wanted to find BlondE and if it meant having to put up with Malfoy, then so be it. He sat down determinedly next to his archenemy.
"Potter," came the drawl from the seat next to him. Funnily enough, nothing followed.
Harry turned his head towards Malfoy. The boy was engrossed in his computer, a look of frustration and impatience registered on his face.
"Problem, Malfoy?" Harry asked in the most uncaring voice he could muster.
"Nothing to concern yourself with," came the reply, and then silence once again as the look of concentration fell over the Slytherin's features.
Harry sighed. Obviously Malfoy was too engrossed in his own work to be bothered fighting properly. He felt a slight twinge of disappointment at the thought. Pushing it aside, he logged on to the computer in front of him and made his way into the chatrooms once again.
scarrD: ru there?
Harry jumped slightly in his seat as he heard a shout of relief come from next to him. He ignored it, hardly being bothered with Malfoy's calls for attention when he had far more important things to do.
blondE: I'm here. Where've you been?
Harry paused, unsure what to write next. He took a deep breath. Direct confrontation was the best option.
scarrD: ru a girl? Tell me the TRUTH!
He waited, nervous and suddenly doubting his accusation. What if he was wrong? What if blondE actually *was* a boy and he'd just humiliated himself by wrongly accusing him?
blondE: I'M NOT A GIRL!! Why would you think THAT??!
Harry let out a laugh of relief, provoking a snort of disgust from Malfoy. He couldn't care less though. BlondE was a boy! He laughed again, ignoring the impatient glares coming from next to him.
scarrD: No reason. Just checking.
blondE: Ok, well while we're checking...ru a girl?
Harry's eyebrows shot to his scarline. BlondE thought *he* was a girl?!
What a ridiculous thought!
scarrD: NO! Of course I'm not! Don't know many girls here with dicks <g> Oh, except that girl in second year who had that potion backfire on her...
He grinned, feeling guilty for even finding that memory funny. It had all been worked out with a trip to the infirmary, though. And a little teasing around the corridors for a few weeks after.
blondE: Yeah, lol, that was funny!
Harry rolled his eyes as Malfoy let loose his own laugh next to him, disturbing his thoughts once again. How could he be expected to concentrate on blondE if Malfoy kept annoying him?!
"Shut up, Malfoy," he snapped, turning his head. "Some of us are trying to concentrate here."
"Too dumb to think and wank at the same time?" retorted Malfoy with a snide grin on his face.
"I'm not wanking," replied Harry, turning his head and motioning towards his lap. "If I was you'd be able to see my dick right now. If you knew what a dick looked like."
He turned back with a huff to his own computer and stared defiantly at the screen.
"Wanker."
"Bastard," Harry shot back automatically. He decided he'd left blondE waiting too long, so resumed typing once more. After all, he was trying to have a good time with the boy!
scarrD: So...what ru wearing?
blondE: nothing ;) As always.
Harry grinned. Like he wouldn't have noticed a naked boy wandering around Hogwarts all day!
scarrD: you want my firebolt up you again? I'll shove it up hard.
blondE: I'll groan like a whore. Though I'd make you pay. Shove you over the tables in the computer room and pound you in front of everyone.
Harry felt his cock stirring to attention in his lap, and quickly pushed his chair further in under the table so it wouldn't be seen so easily. Suddenly, he had an idea.
scarrD: you in the computer room now?
blondE: might be. ru?
Harry paused before replying. He wasn't sure how much he wanted to admit. Finally he decided the truth was the best way he could worm an admission of identity out of his mysterious lover.
scarrD: might be.
Harry stared desperately around the room, trying to keep his looks subtle while scanning for anyone else doing the same. He couldn't find anyone. Unfortunately as he looked towards Malfoy's side of the room, he managed to meet the Slytherin's gaze.
"Why are you staring at me?" Harry shot at the boy.
"I'm not staring at you," replied Malfoy in disgust. "Why are you staring at me?"
"I'm not!"
"Well, then keep your eyes on your own damn computer then," growled Malfoy, before taking his own advice and returning to his typing.
Harry, looking back at his screen in a huff, noticed blondE had replied.
blondE: I can't see you. Come on, tell me who ur!
scarrD: I bet I could find you if I just checked for huge woodies hiding under tables <veg>
blondE: True ;) Well, I'm sitting next to the most annoying boy in the room. See if you can find me.
scarrD: Ha! ur not! The most annoying boy in the room is next to *me*!
He's been distracting me all while I've been trying to type to you.
blondE: tell me about it. this boy wont stop laughing to himself and talking to me when i'm trying to write. bloody scarred gryffindors.
scarrD: tell me about it. bloody slytherin malfoy.
Suddenly his brain caught up with blondE's words. He turned his head slowly, eyes bulging in horror. Just in time to meet Malfoy's horrified expression turning to meet him.
They stared in shock, gaping in silence.
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
THE END.
