“Talking with my brother.” It sounded like he was crying. There was a quick pause. “Mir-kitty, why do I miss him so much? I mean, two weeks ago I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him, but now I’m crying like a girl just because he typed five words to me.” I looked at the screen. The words in the instant message screen explained right away why he was crying.
Hi Tay, I miss you. “He doesn’t mean it you know.” Taylor said softly, still crying. “They all hate me. I ruined it for Ike and Zac. Their reputations, their careers, everything. They both want me dead. Mom and Dad hate me too, that’s why they sent me here, so they wouldn’t have to look at me. I make them sick. I don’t even derserve to live, I ruined it for all of them.” By then he was sobbing uncontrolably.
“Sounds like you need a hug.” I told him, opening my arms towards him, where he collapsed into them. I guess he really needed that hug because we sat there for a good 10 minutes, him sobbing into the shoulder of my shirt, me comforting him, saying things like, “it’s gonna be okay,” ,”Nobody hates you.” And other things like that.
Finally he sat up and sniffled. I handed him a tissue and he blew his nose. “You wanna talk so more?” He shook his head. “Okay.” I picked up my book and flipped through the pages, looking for where I left off.
“It all stopped when we went onstage.” Apparently he did want to talk.
“All the fucked up shit stopped when we took the stage. It started right back up again when we came off. Some girl would come into the dressing room or I’d be shooting up on the bus. The stage was the only place where I could get away from it. My brothers hated me, but we would get over it for that hour or so that we were playing.
“My favorite song describes your story exactly.”
“what’s your favorite song?”
“Wake Up by Korn.”
“Korn.” I picked up ‘Issues’ off my night table, popped it into my CD player, and flipped it to track 8.
Each day more frightning All of us wanna die The pressure’s tightning I don’t even want to try Should I take all the stupid bullshit What makes them think they can get away with it I’m not happy I wish they’d just Wake the fuck up Wake the fuck up Wake the fuck up Wake the fuck up Wake the fuck up I can’t take no more What are we fighting for You are my brothers Each one I would die for Please just let it go All our heads are blown Let’s take the stage and remember what we play for No more fighting I swear I’m gonna leave Talking shit to spite me I wish they’d just Wake the fuck up Wake the fuck up Wake the fuck up Wake the fuck up I can’t take no more What are we fighting for You are my brothers Each one I would die for Please just let it go All our heads are blown Let’s take the stage and remember what we play for “Who wrote that?” he asked me, dumbfounded.
“Jonathan Davis. He was going through a rough period in his life around the same time you were. Drugs, booze, women, same as you.”
“What’s even stranger is the fact that you played in the same venue within 24 ours of eachother.”
“Shit man, where?”
“Dude, even creepier.”
“He’s completely clean. You should follow suit.”
“Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure, like what?”
“Well, like what are we supposed to do all day here.”
“I’m glad you asked. Breakfast is in a half an hour, then group, then you can either chill in the rec room, do one of the offered activites, work in the art room, or chill in yours or somebody elses room.”
“Art room?” He said, his eyebrows perking up.
“Yeah, art is supposed to help us work out our problems. They’ve got clay, paint, pastels, charcoal , pencils, markers, you get the picture.”
“I’m, allowed in there?”
“Yeah, I’ll take you after group.”
Breakfast was fairly normal except that Ryan was wearing a cereal bowl on his head. When I asked him about it, he said that during the night a piece of plaster from the ceiling in his room had fallen on his head and he wasn’t taking any chances. I chuckled and went back to my lucky charms. Even though breakfast was fine, group was a completely different story. Sonia, the psychiatrist, tried to ask Paige about his family life, and to put it plainly, he chucked a psycho. Here’s how it happened. I was napping in Ryan’s lap as I usually do during group and suddenly I felt Ryan picking me up. Now y’all are probably thinking “geeze, now she’s moving in on Ryan.” But you need to understand that Ry-Ry is like my big brother and he would do pretty much anything to protect his little Mir-rah. So anyway, Ryan picked me up and the next thing I knew, Paige was throwing chairs, and one chair went askew and hit me in the head. So basically from the time I got hit in the head to where I ended up in the hospital with 8 stitches in my forehead and a serious concussion is all a blank to me. My day at that hospital wasn’t all that exciting because the staff at the home wouldn’t let my friends (Ryan, Jay, Paige, etc…) leave the property. I was only there for a day, but it seemed like years and years. I think my experience might have been related to the time-space continuem theory. You know, like in “the Dilbert Future” where Ratbert falls into another dimension and so while in Dilbert’s office only a few minutes passed, in the other dimension several thousand years passed. And Ratbert was quite bored. So was I.
sorry *sheepish grin* I couldn't decide on which banner I liked most *licks edge of teeth* why does taylor have to be so...well, good looking in leather. But seriously, they must be *very* constricting
Dont Wander Through This Glassy Surface Expecting to Find More than Me Cause What Am I Without A Purpose But a Lone Mirage to See?
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