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Just For Kyra, who has a crappy mac

Clowns from Hell

"Taylor, how much longer???" My sister Jessica was being awfully whiney tonight.

"Two minutes less than the last time you asked me."

"Oh...well, Drive faster!"

"Christ Jessi, any faster and I'm gonna get pulled over."

"Sorry.” We drove in silence for a few minutes before I spoke again.

“What’d ya get Michael?”

“A CD.”

“What CD?”

“Well, mom got him one and I got him the Methods of Mayhem CD.”

“What CD did mom get him, oh yea, by the way, I need my Methods of Mayhem CD back, I’m gonna drive to Orlando with Ryan in couple of days.” “Mom got him This Time Around, and why are you going to Orlando with Ryan?”

“Because a, I’ve been having a craving for some serious Disney time, and b, Ryan’s never been to Disney World before, and I figured, he should go before he turns thirty.”


“Why the hell did mom get Michael a copy of This Time Around?”

“Beats me, I think she’s a bit disturbed by the kind of stuff that he listens to, and she’s trying to get him into some lighter stuff. Next thing you know, she’ll be getting him Middle of Nowhere.”

“Hey, I take great offense at that.” I told her, grinning.

“Yeah yeah, but what are your children going to think when they hear that and discover that their father is related to Alvin and the Chipmunks?”

“Once again I take-“

“I know, I know, I take great offense at that.” A big blue Victorian house loomed into view. It was dark so I could see that the party was just getting under way. There were about 15 cars in the driveway and music radiated from the house. Jessi and I stepped out of the car and walked towards the front porch. Jessi knocked and Ryan answered the door.

“Dude,” he said, sounding slightly drunk. “You ready to kick Mickey’s butt?”

“Ry, dude, there will be no kicking of Mickey’s butt, in fact, I think you should get your picture taken with Mickey, it’d be good for you.” A look of horror passed over his face.

“Hey, stupid, he’s kidding.” I glared at Jessi. “Don’t be so rude.” She stuck her tongue out at me. Michael ran to the door.

“Oh my god, Jessi, you’ll never believe this, Adrianna and Aaron are making out in the TV room.”


“Dead serious.” Michael and Jessi ran in the direction of the TV room.

“Ah, to be 13 again.” Ryan sighed as Amir strode up.

“Hey, you’re Taylor right?”

“That would most definitely be me.”

“Why don’t you come in for a bit. Have a beer and hang with the ‘adults’ of the party.”

“Sure, but I can’t stay for too long, or I’ll end up getting drunk, and then what would my little sister think?”

“You have a little sister?”

“Yeah, she’s good friends with Michael.”

“Ah, The Melody Man, good friend to the ladies.” Ryan winked at me.

“Ryan, you need to shut up.” Amir chuckled to himself. “He probably also needs another beer.” I stated. Ryan nodded enthusiastically. Amir led us into the kitchen where a large assortment of liquor bottles was arranged on the table. Ryan grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and chugged it in about 10 seconds. Now, you all probably thought he could hold his liquor since he’s such a beer-a-holic, but you’re dead wrong. The beer went straight to his head. We all sat down at the table.

“Hey…Taylor.” He said, slurring slightly. “You remember that time in the dressing room after your show where that chick gave us beer?”

“Yeah, why?”

“That Chinese chick was hot.”

“Japanese, and yes.”

“Man, you remember that ugly blonde broad? She was a major turnoff. After you went in that room with the hot chick, she was all over me, and I was like ‘dude, get the fuck off me, you’re ugly, bitch!’ and like, so she went and tried to seduce your little brother, who felt basically the same as me.” All through Ryan’s speech, I had been taking shots of vodka, so I had had about 4 or 5 by now, and I was definitely feeling it. An immense wave of lust came over me. I looked over at Ryan. He had begun to stare at his beer bottle as if it were a terribly fascinating thing that held the secrets of the world. I looked at Amir. He was invloved in a conversation with Paige, who had just shown up. I looked back at Ryan. He had passed out on the table. I turned back to Amir and tapped him on the shoulder. He glanced at me over his shoulder.

“Ryan’s passed out.” He looked at Ryan and nodded.

“Yeah, just take him to one of the bedrooms that doesn’t look like a kid’s. Up those stairs.” He pointed to a set of stairs in the corner of the kitchen. I shot him a smile of thanks and hoisted Ryan up so that he was standing with his arm around my shoulder. The closeness was turning me on even more. “Oh hey, Taylor? Can you check the other bedrooms while you’re up there? I don’t want any calls from angry parents telling me that they’re 13 year old daughter got pregnant at my son’s birthday party.”

“Sure.” I dragged Ryan upstairs and left him on the bed in the room closest to the stairs. I then methodically check the five or so rooms that were in the hall. In the last room I walked in on Jessi and Michael making out. “Ahem.” Jessi looked up.

“shit.” She said quietly.

“Okay Jessi, I’m gonna make you a deal, because to tell you that making out is not allowed would be hypocritical. Just no sex.” Her eyes got wide.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, no sex. No sex in the champagne room.” I broke into song. Michael looked like he was about to explode trying not to laugh. I just kept singing, the vodka having taken it’s toll long ago.

“No shit sherlock.” This shut me up. I looked at my sister, and surprise must have been written all over my face. “I was talking about the hypocrite comment. What do you mean it would be hypocritical?”

“Well, to tell you not to make out would be cruel of me, because I plan on doing some making out myself.”

“With who?” She raised her eyebrow skeptically.

“None of your bees wax.” And with that, I stuck out my tongue and headed for the door.just before I left, I turned around.


“Ugh! What?”

“Can you not mention this to mom?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Thanks, lemme know when you’re ready to leave” She waved for me to leave, and went back to sticking her tongue down Michael’s throat.