in Llanview 2003

With a creak, Reverend Joe pulled shut the heavy iron gate, closing himself and the others inside the cemetery behind the St. James Parish House. The faces of the members of the St. James youth choir glowed eerily as the teens encircled a roaring bonfire. The purpose of this night’s gathering was to hear Joey tell ghost stories.

“Thank you for coming and for choosing an alcohol-free night,” said Rev. Joe. “You won’t be disappointed.”

In another part of town, over at Llanfair, Lois was handing out those white paper baggies with candy corn inside to all the trick-or-treaters. Starr and Matthew, dressed as the latest Disney® characters, held their sacks open wide as Lois dropped the goodies in. Starr inspected the home-made offerings with her flashlight. “Hey! This sucks. Where’s the real treats? Tell my Aunt Viki to get with the times! We want chocolate!”

Lois closed the door and the kids hurried off.

“Honestly,” Starr grumbled to Matthew, “that lady is still living in the ‘50s.” Starr turned and hurled an egg against Viki’s front door. The sharp crack of the shell against the pane and the slow drip of the insides running down made her smile. It was a wonderful sound. And Halloween was a perfect holiday.

Starr and Matthew passed a dark-haired figure on the walk. “Did you see that?” Matthew whispered. “Scary.”

The figure made her way up to Llanfair’s front door. Viki could hear the footsteps getting closer and she waited a beat for the ding dong! of the doorbell. Answering the door herself, she found Flash standing there.

“Why, Sarah,” Viki smiled. “I love your costume.”

Flash screwed up her face. “I’m not wearing one.”

Viki handed her some candy corn. “Here. I always loved this treat as a child.”

“Uh, no thanks, Aunt Viki. I don’t eat products made with animal fat.”

“But, darling,” Viki said, “it’s made with corn syrup. That is a vegetable fat, right?” Viki thought her niece looked distracted. “What’s wrong, child?”

Flash, her eyes glazed over, voice zombie-like, intoned, “He’s here. I know he’s here. He’s called me here.” And with that, she sat down on the lowest rung of the staircase in Viki’s anteroom.

Rev. Joe was telling the St. James youth, “…And they say he still roams these roads…that at night, if you just look carefully, you can see him out searching…searching for his brains. And on a night like tonight, you can hear his army of zombies marching, marching…looking for. . .YOU!”

Someone in the group screamed then and the wind rustled the cemetery treetops.

Jen leapt up and bellowed at Joe. “I spent the whole night in a cemetery for this? And now I missed Halloween. I missed all the tricks or treats! I missed all the parties! You dumb blockhead!” Jen stormed off.

Viki was on the phone with Tina. “Something’s wrong with Sarah. She seems to be in a trance.” Perhaps the girl’s mother would know what was wrong. Viki turned around to get a look at Flash and describe her symptoms but she dropped the receiver when she saw Cristian Vega’s severed hand poke out from under the stairs. Then a ghoulish Keri Reynolds crawled out from below the stairway as the floorboards came apart in pieces.

Once the dust settled, Viki thought she heard Keri moaning, “Brains. We want braaainns.”

“What?” asked Viki.

Dr. Colin MacIver, long dead but now Chief Zombie, emerged from the rubble. Flash jumped up and zombie-walked over to him.

“I am here, Master.”

“Troy MacIver?!” Viki cried. “What are you doing with my niece?”

“It’s Colin,” Keri corrected. “Dr. MacIver was pushed down a staircase. And now you have something he needs.”

“They’re the undead,” said Flash.

Viki backed away. Riley and the members of Midnight Logic crashed through the front door. They had the same glassy stares and frozen faces Sarah had.

“I don’t understand, Sarah,” Viki gasped. “Are all of your little friends zombies? So you want to be a zombie too? Is that what this is about? I think I’ll need to speak to your mother.”

Behind Viki, Keri was fussing with a tape measure, trying to find the circumference of Viki’s head.

Amidst all this chaos, the inimitable Dorian Lord entered. “Why, Viki. Having a party I see. Why wasn’t I invited?”

“Dorian,” Viki pouted, “I think you’d better leave here now if you know what’s good for you. You don’t understand what’s going on.”

“Oh, don’t I?” Dorian, highly annoyed, retorted. “Why it’s obvious. Yes, obvious. Once again Queen Victoria gets what’s mine.”

“What are you talking about?” snapped Viki.

“The People Under the Stairs. The People Under the Stairs are mine! I'm not going to stand by and watch you get all the zombies!”

“Actually,” Viki quipped, “They might get me.”

“This is a fine class of zombies. A college professor, a DOC-tor, and Cris-tee-ahhn’s hand. The hand of an artist. I want that hand. Why, I practically raised that boy!

Dorian cleared her throat. “Everyone? Everyone, may I have your attention? I have a proposition for you. I have a perfectly grand staircase chez moi. It’s just charming really. It’d be perfect for all of you. And my portrait hangs over it. C’mon. What do you all say?”

“Braaaainns. . .”

Dorian went over to one of the band zombies and stroked his chin. “Yes. Brains. You know, being a doctor,” she cooed, “ I can get my hands on all kinds of body tissue.” She smiled. “How about it?”

And with that, Flash, the zombies, and the army of the undead followed Dorian out of Llanfair.

“Good night, Viki,” Dorian cackled. “Oh. I almost forgot. And Happy Halloween.”