Tasha Loves Robert
it's now tuesday the 30th, my baby comes home from flordia on friday the 3rd, i cannot wait i am so happy . I got to talk to him last night for liek 10 mins lol. just enuf to kill our cell phone bill hahah.. everything is goin ok for me, plan on looking at a place next thursday. :) My job keeps getting weirder and weider, with all the lies and BS. But what can ya do,, not quit , i need the money so ya bitch and complain and hope some one actully gives a damn and someone does something about it,, but hey.. this is life. who actully gives a damn anyways??
So wani is gone to Ont i miss her deatly not being able to talk to her or be able to see her this summer it's such a big step that she took an di hope that everything goes ok with her an dher new life. if not i will have to kill justin ahaha just like she would kill rob if he hurt me. So if i see on the news that my best friend was found in a frezer i kno who to come after thats justa warning to justin so beware hahah
well i am at work right now i now work 11 h our days and have 3 days off. so i'm off thursdays fridays and sat. the onlytime i'm ever online besides irc is when i am at werk, i never get my emails checked at home lol..so i am off and i'll up date more and get some new pix up of me and rob and my new tattoo's and stuff.. Enjoy
Tasha
it's may 5th
my baby got home on friday and he's been at my house since hahaah i got a winnie the pooh necklace and toe sox and the cutest piggy bank hahah, so i can save money and where he found the card i dunno but he's so great hahaha.. too cute.. I'm planing a trip to NF with rob to see everyone there.. mainly dad and joanie and meg and aaron. they are who i mostly want him to meet. and everyone else who thought i'd never get a great guy b/c i wasn't them aka perfect. so i spit on u now hahaha... i'm still looking at apartment to live for me and rob, we want something close to work so it's gonna be a hunt haah expecially to find a nice place too.. innis;s dad didn't even start the place we were gonna live then and it's too far from werk. I'm gonna go fer my beginners soon too, i have been planing on it for a long time but i think i should reread the book again just tomake sure then on one of my days off go out and write the damn thing. This coming weekend i have pay day to pay my cell phone and get a new tattoo and a fantasia party haha crazy i tell ya haha.. and i turn 19 in 2 months and 2 days yay!!! i can't wait, i'll be counting down the days soon!! haha well i am at werk ,, like akways with my 11 hour days hahaah 9-8 so i better jet and wait fer a call.. never got one in 1 and 1/2 hours haahah this is NICEEEEEEEEEEE
later all, look fer new pix soon, give me a week to send em out and fer wani to get time to put em up, I ISS YA GIRL
Tasha Loves Robert
it's may 27th.. lol.. wowzers.. tomorrow wull be 9 montsh fer me and rob, i remember the day that wani told me her and justin were at 9 month si nearly shit my pants hahaha... i'm going to NF july 8th hehe.. and rob's coming with me. I got my Puppy Mercury, she's a pure bread Dalmation.She's beautiful.. Gotta go to do some werk away from the comp.. i'll up date later on.. lol.
ok i am back, i went home fer lunch lol and i had recived a letter from wani,, i'll be either writing her back here at werk or when i get home tonite.. lol. i miss ehr so much, i go hom eon july 8th the day after my 19th bday and she won't be there,, things are gonna be so odd with out her,, we don't get to talk that much b/c we don't have a phone plan:( But i did recieve a call from Meagan Turner the other nite i never did get the call b/c i was working but i was talking to her online and i told her how i would be home this summer so thats good that i'll be able to see them,, as mad as i was i love them girls with all of my heart and always will and i want them to meet rob b/c that would mean alot to me :)
Umm what else. i got another raise from my job so that is good lol..umm.. i bought some powerfuff girls belly ring and nipple ring now i just nee dto get the nerve to put it in hahaha scarry. I got a new tattoo on my wrist which is cool, u can check out some of my stuff at wizzardstattoo.com lol. and u can see other art werk too.. but i better go b4 i get a call.. i love nad miss u all, and i will be home july 8th!!! prepare yerselves!!:)
June 9th
well everyone.. i am on budget with my pay an di got a cd and a new outfit with new shoes how awesome is that, haha,, i'm at werk here. whoopie slow day maybe i'll get off early, but ya back to being on budget .. lol.. payed vet bills got groceries put extra money on my cell phone and payed internet bills and money i owed, hehe
how awesome is that..whoopie
i leave fer nf in one month - 1 day hehe
what else is goin on.. ummm.. over 9 months with rob hehe in 20 days we;ll be at the 10 month mark next thing ya kno me and him will be at a year haha bet u no one thought it would be me in a long relationship like this eh
it;s so weird since neither me or him wanted a relationship or anything of the sort and then we both meet hehe it's awesome i tell ya.. and now we;re together hahahahaa still makes me laugh when i think about it b.c i never thought it would happen
plus its like.. all the prettygirls he went out with,, minus 2 girls that i kno of.. ack eek coff.. they were all remotly pretty popular girls and now he;s with me.. makes me feel odd but i dunno.. and they couldn't keep him for over 2 months max. and here iam plain ol me,, well i guess not plain hehe i do keep him in line,, and i conqured him hahaha funny lol..
well i think i just up dated enuf
of my baby sister called me last nite it was so awesome to here from her. hjehe she;s doing real good hehe an di mean real good hahhaaha ohh inside joke, lol.. thats mah girl, next thing ya kno she;s be screamin - back off u hoes who u think u are .. on the ricki lake show hahaha..
later all
Tasha Loves Robert (28 days left till i leave fer home)
June 13th 2002
Wellllllllll hello everybody.. heheh whats goin on? well. myself.. i just got a new hair cut. and more lighter blond streaks hehe,, i'm vacation is coming up, lol, starts in less then a month. july 5th is my first day off till july 22nd,, how awesome is that hehe. i am at werk right now. seems that the only time i get anything done on this page is when i am at werk lol.. except scanning pix hehe which i haven't done in so long haha. My puppy is still alive, but i do understand why cruella devill wanted to make an outfit outta them,, dalmations ar enothing like the movie lol.. as cute but not as nice lol.. haha.. she's bad and i need to get her fully trianed b4 i go to nf.. coming up,,less then a month away hehe.. umm what else.. i can't wait to go shopping and bar hopping hehehe july 7th and i'll be pissed i plan on drinking the whole boat ride to nf hahah.. i can now i am of age! so thats gonna be awesome.. i hope rob's days off get approved . so that would be awesome i want everyone to meet him hehe.. wel i better go it's getting busy love ya;s
Tasha
June 30th
well i will be in NF in a week haha how awesome is that and how soon hehe 19 an all whoopie hehe . i am werking on the link to the new Korn songs and i was thinking of having a page with just Band links and pictures and stuff and well of ppl she loves and lust for hehe, i think it will be a plan,, of course wani kno's more about it then i do hah she does most of the werk on here.. i can scann when i get time and add lyrics when it's not busy at werk haha other then that i'm usless haha.
I'm gonna miss wani this summer,, i won't be there for gander day so it's not gonna be as bad , we always spend gander day together lol..
buti am at werk and it's getting kinda busy here.. better get off this and do some sorta werk.. hah ayea as if,, hehe. LOve ya's all..
July 31st
well updates,, ok,,, My bday - i was smashed trsih cam eover at 530 and we started drinking da beer went fer bizzza witha buz on lol.. then rob got off werk, dranka few more and then called a cab and went to carla's party,, staye dther till about 12 tehn we were gonan cal a cab until kimmy's husband said he'll drive us to dooly's, so we did that, then crosby showed up and bought be a beer,, keiths haha.. while rob had me drinking singapore slings, so i was trying to play pool whiledrinking to drinks lol,, then we headed down to smooth hermans,,, and the catch is,, my 19th b-day as sunday, i went out sat nite so that at midnight it will actully be sunday,, cuz everyone knows sunday nites suck,, haha well needless to say i got plastered and crashed at rob's place
then on monday we went to NF.. me and rob,, i feel bad i was really cranky that early in teh morning i barley got any sleep,, bc i stayed at rob's place,, no no no not what yer thinking..hahah.. our trip was good for the fact that i got to see my lil sis meg who i miss an dlove os much,, an dkenny and aaron the other 2 men in my life that i love,, other then that none chaned,, it makes me sick,, no one really called me when i was home,, i was there fer 11 days,, the way they were going on about missing me and all the crap ya think they woulda wante dto see me real bad eh?!?! well tehy pretty muched ignored me,, me and rob chippe din to buy turner a pitcher of beer and she never said anything,, then when we was leaving kenny and me and rob to go with aaron,, they were all liek blahblahblah.. was like fuck u, u guys are nothing. How can these ppl think they are so much better then everyone else,, when is obviously not tru. they way they treat meg is unfair,, and megan loder - i hope she doesn't go back out with ryan,, b/c thats bullshit, no one should get bruises like that its unreal!! little punk i'll fucking clock him one! and to think that whole fucking town of big guys wouldn't go and smash him one after hitting her in a fucking bar,, what a joke eh! well i think i will take a break and see whats on tv,, later
Tasha
ps on aug 28th it'll be a year for me and rob,,eek :)
aug 14 2002
ok i guess w wont be making it a year ,, so,, me and rob calle din quits, i bet yer all wondering why,, well, b/c i wasnt as happy as i use dto be,, i felt closed in, many things were bothering me.. maybe i was just scared that ive been with someone so long or what.. i dunno anymore.. but as of monday the 12 we were splits,, 16 days b4 our 1 year.. now the hard part comes,, giving back what is his, taking down the pictures and trying to move on and not cry no more lol
i've been hanging out with SHane a guy from work, right now its nothing, we went for a walk with mercury ( for u's who dont kno thats mah puppy dalmation) and talked,, that was about it,, no nothing.. even if that came up, like a kiss or anything it woulda felt odd not being rob.. well today is wednesday and Shane called me to do something.. take the puppy for a walk,, He suggests taking her for a walk, he askes to do that, rob never did i always had to ask him or beg him to walk with us or to take her for a walk,, so yea we're hanging out tonite dunno if its a date or what,, who knows, every one has been telling me that it makes things easier when ya move on,, but i dunno if i wanna,, Rob's my baby i love him, always will.. just maybe things arent ment to be
guys at werk are saying that by next weekend i'll have a new bf,., they really float my boat hehe saying stuff like that lol.. i dont find myself very attractive but i dont think i am ugly lol, but they make me have alot more confidence,,
Mike from the band aspen grove asked me to the fireworks with him.. i didnt go,, wasnt in the modd, i just took mercury for an hour walk,, this was on sunday.. lol. well i must go tidy up and get ready for tonite.. i'm a mess. i dunno what to do anymore or what i am doing
Tasha
ps. im happy fer ya wani that u got to go home,, hope yer having more fun then i did.. i love and miss u,, next time come see me!!!
AUg 28 2002
welll hellooooooooo. Tonite is my first nite wering backshift, i now werk 7pm - 6 am.. so wani if ya ever wanna call me, u can on tuesdays lol.. i got fri and sat off too but i am usually out clubbing drinking my ass off hahah.. i took this shift thinking " hey it can't be that busy fer customerservice" well was i ever soooooooo wrong, it's 30 min hold time for customer and 50 ppl waiting. how nutso is that. i think they closed down every call center and left us open to die! haha well i AM DYING HERE YA HAPPY NOW!
i am on my lunch my laringitis is acting uponce again,, hey whats new tasha;s sick again lol.. today woulda been one year for me and rob, we hung out today, i miss him.. there wasnt anything wrong with the way i felt towards him it was the way we were when we was together and that wasnt making me happy at all.. so.. i still have like 30 mins left to my lunch ohh joy haha,
i dunno if wani is still in nf or not, i hope she had some fun. more fun then what i did,, i found out erin and kenny went to hawaii what lucky bastards they are haha,, i wish i coulda went haha. as if they would let me off werk to go! on 12 hours notice!
i think i zoned out there fer a few mins, lol, how odd of me, i dont see how i will last till 6 am lol
Merc is still alive and shedding lol. i gave her a bath yesterday and cleaned out her kennel. I pay Joey's dad fer the kennel on friday, and pay off my cell bill. Mum applie dfer stream the weekend,, i hope she gets a call to start i kno she is wanting to do so. she needs another job that pays alot better then walmart b/c christopher eats like a horse, i can't leave anything there in the house that belongs to me with out him eating it on me and that isnt right. i havent herd from dad in awhile and nothing for my birthday yet,, >:/
well i applied for an art college in california, long beach, its a private college and i cannot wait to finish my interviews. i have another hour long interview on the 3rd, and then a personal one on one interview,, i dunno if they will be sending anyone to the house or if they will do it thru satilite in halifax,, shane said it will probably be in halifax! well i will update u more on that if ya wanna see a bit about the college u can go to www.brookscollege.edu and see whats it's about, its a art school where i can take fashion design.. welli better get going, i'll update more again soon
Love Tasha
sept 3rd 1:59 am
I HATE BACK SHIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sept 4th 2002
I GOT IN.. well not fully but i am recomended and i cannot go,, whyb/c they need 250$ us to book my seat for next oct! i wanna go so bad,, theywant me to go.. my nan doesnt too much but hey what can i do.. rowr.. i applied for a school in Paris that is cheaper and is a 3 year but still cheaper then 18 months with Cali. I dunno what to do..
I kno what i should do..its called stop drinking lol..i met some guys form Q8 from JOJO they are awesome guys they clal me pink lol.. its soooo hillirous hehe..UM... still hanging with Shane.. hes a sweetie,, i call him a jerk tho,, but he likes to take merc fer walks and thats awesome.. we get along great. so thats all cool..ME and rob still hang out. um Innis is home we went to Daniels and the Capri last nite on a tuesday hehe.. friday she wants to go to the gwood and sat were going to JOJO's and then to SMooth Hermans .. i love that bar hehe,, umm what else.. I'mmeeting new ppl and hanging out with newbies,, last weekend we went to danee;s with shane and mike and helena and my self then keith showed up.. and been drinking with shane and his buddies and hanging out with TRish drank 2 times with Erin again.. so things are going good, got lots of time to do my own thing and have fun..
Im so happy wani is doing goo din Ont. i wory about her all the time hehe.. He's mah home girl.. Haven't talked to Kenny Aaron or Meghan in awhile.. guess i won't be er what ever the other girls didn't talk to me since i left so i guess i don't care no more.. i guess this place here is where i will spend my time thinking about.not thati don't have some great memories about back home but i guess the only ones there who care are kenny and aaron but they have jobs and aren't online all the time i get a few messages from kenny more then anyone else thats there.. dad didn't call in awhile and never sent me a b-day gift. oh well i guess.. maybe he will when he sends stuff up for christopher. i doubt it tho.. no need to dwell on it i guess start looking after myself insteadof worryoing about them
welli am at werk and it is 356 am,, 2 hours tilli can go home i have to get up early to go withshane.. LATER ALL>. LOve ya wanni
Tasha
Oct 2nd 1am
well everyone.. its been awhile.. i finially got acces to this at werk lol. wani moved ion they are doing fine,, the only time we get to chat now is on msn lol. hehe.. Im just here at werk wif mah baby across from me. imdoing teir 2 and he is taking calls hehe.. i wanna find another job else where but nothing will give me as much money and i am so used to it now that i cannot go with out it lol. Me and Shane took merc to the board walk again today hehe.. umm things are good between us. Hes so sweet and understanding and caring..hes mah gummie bear lol... i love him to death,
me and rob aren't even friends anymore. I guess some times ya gotta stop trying and just let them go completly no matter how much they ment to u at any given time.. .. WOW werds of wisdom from tasha lol.. thought it would never happen.. Me , Trish and HoJoMoJo haave been hanging out a bit more,, me and trish more then anything for lunches or just to go drinking together.. i don't get too much spare time anyways and i have to werk the next 3 fridays which are one of my 2 days off and i am not too happy about that rowr!
Ummmm nottoo much out there too tell anyone about.. lalalala.. I hate my job ehehe.
Tasha + Shane
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
HEYYYYYYYYYY its Oct 8th now whoopie! umm. i am at werk.. teir 2 fer Donna lol.. im bored ate to many jellybeans SHane is off. James left me fer mike and mel and john,, and Ho jo is addicted to messanger lol.. ALlan thinks my coat is made of cat >:/ I hate my Job Gena lost her password to her hotmail lol.. and we are tryin to recove it for her lol.. Me and HoJo are making comments about each other haha..
Im so happy that wanni is doing good now that i have messanger at werk if i get a spare moment i can talk to her which is more then i have talked to her in a long time.. But now i got yer mailing address and i can write u some letters hehe and now that u kno what i want fer xmas ahahah i have to find something special fer u and yer hubby heheh.. and U got to talk to shane tonite which is neat now,. hehe ya's can chit chat hehe.. and get to kno him..
Umm nothing else has changed still at my same job lol whoopie haha.. And i party alot on fri days and sat,, lol... altho i have trainging for the next 3 fridays in a row.. which so suck si am in there from 1230 - 1 some where,, starting at 4 am,, this friday i get off at 5 am then i have a hair appointment at 11 to get it bleached and dyed pink and then i have to be here for training at 4,, AAAAahhhhhhhhhhh its not what i do that is stressful.. its everything that i do combined lol...
Rob is still planning on moving away.. i dunno.. i just cant see him or hear about him.. i dunno maybe its weird b/c al i did for a year was worry and care about him that its hard to get that out of my mind that i don't have to worry about him or care for him or watch out for him.. maybe i should be doing that for myself.. hahaha but i can't maybe i am just crazy,, i mean i am head over heels for shane and care about him so much but i am soooooooo scared to get hurt and i dont want that to happen at all, i like to smile and laugh and have a good time..
Ive been talking with James alot the past few days haha he is a riot makes me laugh. we have alot in common except for the fact he screwed me over and never came back after werk lol.. and now i am here with no company rowr.. but he's into the same music as me and everything and he has his lip peirced too but on the side,, a real cool cat..
But i think i will go and leave this update for now lol i have to update some other parts of teh page since wani reminded me. heheh. i'm going to party Sat nite at Mel.. its cool hangingout with new ppl at werk, hehe.. LOVE YOU WANI,, illl start a new story as soon as i get a free min lol
TASHA
oct 23rd 2002
well peeps i am werk, i start a new shift on sunday 9pm - 8 am with wed fri and sat off.. so thats pretty cool..
me and rob have been talking lately.. and Me and wani talk so much now its so awesome,, WHat else.. umm i think i have a drinking problem hahah NOT.. rob's worried about me,, i dunno why.. and if yer reading this baby.. dont worry.. i dont. Im perfectly fine
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SOme times when u wakeup to u feel like your life just isnt worth living at all. and that your so used to being so right that when you do something it seems so wrong. and your mind begins to collaps with all the pressure because you are fighting for something that you dont kno u should be fighting for but it seems so right. Have you ever given up on something u belived in for so many life times that all of a sudden it just doesnt make sence anymore and you beign to feel worthless.SOme times i wonder what the hell i am doing with my life an di want to run away to excape everything that i have ever done or said or seen. ANd i want to kill all the pain that i have caused and witnessed. WHy can't things just be so simple. I wish i was a kid again,, where we had no worries and no problems and everything was so peacful and right in the world .....I wish i was a kid again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oct 29 2002
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And as everything seems to change and become more evolved i start to realize that what i really need and what i really want is right in front of me.. and some times its so hard to realize that i dont have to look any father and i dont have to search for a fault so that i dont get hurt first.. Its as if im starting to change how i look that thins, i have a new perspective on what i really want to happen with my life.. i dont want to waste a moment in time ,, i dont want to regret anything because it will just make my future look dim... Its about time that i stop the fake smiling and i open up and let some light shine out..SO many times i was crying alone and not knwoing what to do,, contiplating what was going on in my head and making things seem so strage,, i was insecure with myself and what was going on in my life.. Its as if something just hit me and i realized that i needed to become my self again,, not get caught upin lust and be blinded by love and not realize what i am doing,, to those of you thati have not spoken with over the many months to those of u i made some promises to and never kept to those of u that i haven't called when i said i would im sorry and i plan on making things a little better for us all.. times are changing and so are we.. we may grow apart from each other but out hearts dont grow away from our memories..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Oct 31st
if u had one moment that u could hold onto for ever.. or one thing that u could take back, or something u said have it said differntly...wouldu do it,, id make my life so different, to be through what i have in 19 years scares me to think about it,, i'd keep the 2 good things i have in my life now and id make the rest burn in flames until the ashes can be washed away with the rain and my tears would stop falling and i would stop crying and id be so happy that no matter if its dark everything will be so bring to me, sometimes i wish i was everything that i am not.. and i think that sometimes i mean nothing and sometimes i kno i am. And words do hurt me , i never said i was steele im just human too, fucked up in my life and have been fucked over.. even hero's cry and there is no reason why i can't kill a part of me that wont go away.. Why do u get to me and why do i let u in.. Why do i let u make me cry and make me sick and make me beat myself up/ Why do i let fucking things fuck with me.. I get so angry and i want to just die or maybe throw up so i dont have anything left in me that has the bitter taste of u on it or the smell of lies. How come some ppl get so strong from those of us who are weak.. I want to be strong
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ nov 12 02
im here at werk.. not doing anything much. kinda werking. switching around key boards lol. mine ws stickin lol.. mark is on lunch so now he got mine lol.. imoff in 2 hours.. if they caould just fly by go home and feed my dog and put her to bed, then go with shane and take a nap lol.. like i did the last 2 nite slol..
we're now days shift.. today is my 1 year at stream, and 3 months with shane,, well kinda, we dunno th eexact date so we picked this one. Umm as for guys like rob,, blah.. ryan haley started here,, that was teh biggest shock ever.. i was like OMG.. then i got stuck in the elevator ack..
off to see wani in jan,, her birthday/ xms gift is me hehe.. yay! better go do werk,, love and miss ya wani.. More info later when i have time
nov 14
things are so confusing, i dunno, no matter what i do i cant get some one outta my head.. i try so hard, im happy with who i am,, but i never had a relationship like i did before. and i had this dream last nite where i was told that he kissed innis.. that he told me that he was cheating on me.. when ever i woke up in tears i had to keep telling myself that it wasnt true that he wouldnt do that.. its hard not having him in my life. him being there me talking to him or protecting him or anything like that.. i feel like a part of me is empty and it can't be filled.. Shane is everything anyone would want and i love him to death i just dont understand why i cant let go of rob.. why i cant forget him why i cant leve it at the fact that he doesnt want to be my friend.. things like this is so hard for me. i never had to do this b4, i was never in serious relationships,, i learned so much from him and grew with him and we grew together,, i look at the pictures of us and i cry b/c u can see the look in his eyes and the way he smiled, and i dont see how things went so wrong.. and i need to get this off my chest so bad.. i cant explain the feeling i get in my chest or in my stomach.. its like a sick feeling altho i am not sick..i dont kno whats in my head.. i look at shane and i am so happy and evrything is great and i can see things in the future b/c hes tht at kinda guy, good head on his shoulders sweeter then icecream and gives me butterflies in mah belly.. maybe its b/c he is teh complete oppisite of rob.. wher rob wasnt mature and didnt kno what he was doing in life and didnt think rationally most of the times. i think i need therapy
dec 9th 2002
so its been awhile eh since i typed in here,, i think my life came to an end about a week ago,, ive stopped drinking and tried to start thikning clear , but the smoke wont go away and leave me some sunshine to follow to find my way home, Ive lost all i had, and im losing my mind,, Ive been crushed and ive been hurt, my strenght is stronger now, and that wall is back up, ive been trying so hard to prove myself to u, to make myself worthy of your love and you crush and grind me and leave me for teh wind to blow away.. how can this be love when i cry so much and when i wanna die or dissappear and leave this whole world behind,, I wanna fly so high that no one can reach me and so that i can have peace with myself and i can love myself with who i am inside and out. If you really love me, you'll let me go with no fights ,, and if u really love me youll stand by the choices i make and what i choose,,
I get treate dlike i i odnt know what i am doing,and u wonder why i cry so much,, and u all act like im a joke and dont kno what im talking about and its all humour, u think i am a joke,, i got news i can handel my own,, and i can stand on my own 2 feet and i can cry on my own terms and wipe my tears away on my own,, i dont need to be hugged and i dont need to be loved, i dont need u to be there always,, Im now doing everything on my own, and i will be stronger then you.. ive learned how to be better then you, and ill fight till my death to prove that no matter what u do cant hurt me,, and i tell you this now with all sincerity that u can't kill me. Nothing will be the same,, since u went to my level, since i tried so hard to mak eit up to u, and u throw it all away.. so much for being a better man,, so much for trying,, so much for loving u unconditionally.. so much for trying to get the old me back,, failurs will be failurs, so spit on my face and call me stupid,, because im a sucker and im pathetic,, but just remember.. u no longer can hurt me,, and u wont get this wall down,, and i wont let u kno i cry about u,, u wont see my tears and when i smile,, remember that its not 100% like it used to be,, and when u look in my eyes remember me as when i was sick, and when i drink till i cant remember my name,, it means im trying to forget yours. i love you still through all of this and i hate myself
Jan 23rd
Well well well,, what news is goin on.. Umm.. im doing pretty good,, pains and stuff, its hard b/c no one else knows how it feels or understand lol.. it becomes fustrating..Im still emotional,, but then again i always was so whats new there? nothing really lol..Im here at werk a little early so i got some time to do some up dates on mah page,, lol.. Im really tired of alot of things and alot of ppl.. Some i just cant get outta my head the others i cant wait to get outta mah hair.. its very odd,, I can't wait for the baby to be born so my focus is fully on the baby and then my mind can't wander lol...so im hoping at least :) then me and mum and my baby will go to Nf and spend some time there.. I bought a stroller friday :) i was proud of myself,, its really nice and the name brand is known for being safe and good for kids and babies :) And Shanes dad is gone all happy with high Chairs and play pens lol. Its very cute,, altho he keeps calling me fat to bug me.. but its just humour lol.. eveyone says i dont like prego,, lol.. WHen Trish KT and I went to a party on sat, Francis saidi didnt even look prego,, they guys said i look good,, so thats a bonus,, lol.. Trevor and the crew thought it would be funny to get one of the guys in trouble with his physco GF so we started moaning his name .. lol. needless to say she hung up on him,, its was a laff.. Im making a point to party with the guys more often,, altho me and wussie were the only 2 who didnt drink it was still fun to go,, 3 girls and 10 -15 guys,, its quite funny to see.. plus it reminds me of home when it used to be me and a bunch of guys like cliff and dave and dave and brian and quentin and all that crew.. guys some times are more fun then girl lol.. i dunno.. Well i better Add this.. Oh and to anyone who signs the guestbook.. NO WHERE ON THIS PAGE DOES IT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO ABOUT A GIRL NAMED INNIS>> so please dont sign it saying add pix of her.. b/c it aint happening. Thank u
Peace Outtie