11-07-03
hey all! sorry for my incredibly harsh and agressive last entry. im slowly starting to move on from tirnanog, and get past the flood of emotions.
im doing so well!! i cant believe how well ive recovered from this surgery, and how quickly. i feel almost back to 100% again which is great, because today is friday and i start my new job on monday (yikes!!!) i dont know what to expect, and im equally terrified and excited. im glad that i'll be going back to work in general, im more than ready now. i need to dive back in.
i had a really great day yesterday. i went to the peace abby and did a lot of thinking. every time i go there it gives me ample opportunity to think about suffering, which is why ive been going less and less. yesterday it all just kind of hit me. theres this poster on one of the walls with a picture of a cat and a little pig sniffing each other and it says "one you eat and one you pet.... WHY?" and its all so true. ive thought about being a vegetarian off and on for a while now. i think it might be time to start to commit to something, or to at least start to gradually phase meat from my diet. i took a lot of literature and went to the library to do some reading up and im thinking this might be the right choice for me.
its occurred to me that the past year or so ive been completely self involved, and not necessarily for bad reasons. all ive thought about is my education and how to be the best person i can be. somewhere along the lines i kind of lost part of myself. im not sure what im trying to say but it makes sense in my head.
anyway... things are good right now. i cant decide of i should rent Nemo or just break down and buy it. best movie EVER. when eric comes over tonight we're gonna watch it, and that brings me such happiness. i also think i might make us this garden ranch pizza that i had at kendra's pampered chef party... SO yummy (and vegetarian!)
i dont know how i would have gotten through the past few weeks without eric. when im not with him during the day all i can think of is how his arms will feel around me when i see him that night.