I haven’t written in almost a year. I haven’t written in ANY of my journals in almost a year.

It’s been a bad year.

My mother’s health became the focus of all of our lives back in November. She was admitted to the hospital on December 20th and was there until New Year’s Eve. She was home for about nine days and ended up in such pain that she was readmitted for about a month. Each time she was admitted they got the pain under control and put her on a rehab floor.

She came home for about two days at the beginning of February and was admitted again. She was in huge pain – something to do with her back, and having pulled a muscle while she was in the hospital the first time. During these admissions she was also getting blood transfusions to deal with the anemia.

They did a bone marrow test in late January.

Finally, on February 7 they told my brothers and I that she had a rare form of leukemia , one that affects only 1 in nine million people, and that she would likely only live about three to six months. We actually thought that she was going to die that weekend. She was in a drug induced coma and was hallucinating, it was just awful.

On Monday I only went into school for a couple of hours and left to go back to the hospital, expecting things to still be there. When I got there she wasn’t in the bed. She was sitting in the chair eating lunch!

I thanked God for the reprieve and the gift of another day. And for each day that followed where she was in good health.

She was then admitted to a nursing home run by nuns. It’s a place where I worked when I was in high school and college.

Through all this my weekdays consisted of going to work, leaving as soon as I could, and spending about three hours with her. I was there through supper every night so I could be sure that she’d eat. On weekends I’d be with her for about eight hours. My brothers were there for that kind of time as well.

There were a couple of trips to the hospital from the nursing home, so she could have blood transfusions. She was supposed to go out to a restaurant with us for my birthday and when I got there she refused to go. I cried and cried. It was the worst birthday ever.

Then she went to the hospital for a transfusion on my birthday (that was a Monday) and usually she would perk up after that and we’d go down to the pub (in the home) or sit outside, but this time she didn’t perk up.

She decided to die.

Some of her friends came to see her and she told them she was glad that she’d known them and that they were friends and they sang a song together. That was on Thursday. I knew that things were worse and worse and on Sunday night I knew that she was at the end. I had the chance to tell her that I loved her and that she was my best friend, and even though she couldn’t communicate she cried. She was bleeding internally and it was horrible. (I’m sobbing as I write this.)

She died Monday April 14.

We had to make the wake and funeral arrangements quickly because it was Easter week and you can’t have funerals in the Catholic Church from Thursday through Sunday of Easter week.

I think we did a nice job and gave her a fitting tribute. But it was so hard.

The day after the funeral I got a letter telling me that I had to be out of my apartment in six weeks as the owner had decided to sell it.

I knew that I didn’t want to buy it. The place needed so much work. The carpet, floor and kitchen were all 30 years old, and the place was so cold all winter that I didn’t want to spend my life freezing. The biggest drawback was the 28 stairs that I had to climb to get to my front door. Let me tell you that carrying bags of groceries or laundry was no mean feat on most days! And I couldn’t see doing that through my old age.

So this meant the added stress of finding a place to live.

I checked out apartments in the area, but the rents were enormous. So I decided to buy a condo, seeing the mortgage payments would be about the same as rents.

I had to do all this really quickly (Obviously) even though I talked my landlord into allowing me to stay until the end of June. I found a place in the next town over, on the ground level ( a priority – no stairs!), with a washer/dryer (wahoo!) and two full baths (excessive as far as I’m concerned). It also has a two car garage – another luxury that I’ve never had.

So now I’m a home owner, and living in a stack of boxes. Unpacking is a nightmare, but I will eventually get there….. I think

So those are the big events that have been happening in my life – there are other smaller things that have added to the stress, which I may go into at a later time.

I don’t know how often I’ll be updating here. I’d start a blog, but I don’t get it, so I can’t take the time to figure it out.

If you have any questions drop me a line.