* Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
* Dogs shed, cats shred.
* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?
* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?
* Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
* When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
* In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.