I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cuz I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face,
Not at my chest!

I don't have a problem,
With expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

Don't call me a girl,
A babe, or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it,
you prick?!