Well, over the past few months, I've been collecting some quotes that I like a lot and I think it's about time I shared them with the world. If you take offence to any of these (which you shouldn't), please don't try to sue me or anything, I didn't post these to get hate mail and email bombs. And if you have any that you've like to contribute, Email me and I'll post them!
"Would you mind terribly to stop shooting at the thermo-nuclear weapons?" ~Deakins, "Broken Arrow"
"Six countries declared war in thirty minutes. It's gonna be a world war." ~we don't know (Model UN 1998)
"Ever notice that when you talk to God, they call it praying, but if God talks to you, it's schizophrenia?" ~Mulder
"He who hesitates is probably smart...or maybe stapled to the floor." ~Sarah Mulder
"Liars go Rotissary." ~Missy Mulder
"Why do I sense that we've picked up yet another pathetic lifeform?" ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
"The penguin went to Hell, but the giraffe went to Heaven." ~Maggie Mulder
"Normal people scare us." ~Anonymous
"Time flies when you're sick & psychotic." ~Anonymous
"God's in a meeting.. how may I help you?" ~Anonymous
"What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?"
"Give me liberty or give me death!"
"I'll give you death!"
"No sharp objects!"
~Maggie Mulder, Sarah Mulder, Dana Scully
"Pizza is the root of all evil." ~the Mulder Twins
"Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me, onions, lettuce, I can't help it, cabbage." ~Cucumberber
"Where's the truth in MMMBop? What's an MMMBop anyways? Now I'm pissed....ARGARGARGARGARGARGARGARG...etcetera..." ~Maggie Mulder, author of Thippets and Moving
" Contains diflourethane..." ~the Universal 51501 1005 Ozone Safe Duster! (Satisfaction Guarenteed, Copyright 1995 U.S.S. Co. See back for details of limited warrenty)
"No one died, no one got seriously injured, no hospital visits, no major liability claims to be filed... all in all... it was a pretty dull day." Sarah Mulder, author of "Happy Birthday Ya'll...again...and again...and again..."
"What I was thinking, as like a New Year's resolution, is to stop getting so caught up
in my own thoughts, 'cause I'm like way too introspective...I think." ~Anonymous
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists somewhere else is that it never tried to contact us." ~Calvin & Hobbes
"If you can't baffle them with brilliance, befuddle them with bullshit!" ~Anonymous
"We are the people our parents warned us about." ~Anonymous
"If I resurected anyone else it would be considered "evil", but noooo, he gets resurected and he's 'The Lord'" ~Anonymous
"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns." ~Anonymous
"My Goddess gave birth to your God!" ~Anonymous
"Why is it people never listen to us teenagers, we're the smart ones." ~Waterbead
"Nothing out there is every gonna help me." ~Soul Asylum, Promises Broken
"There is no mistaking the dismay on the face of a writer who has just heard that his brain child is a deformed idiot." ~L. Sprague de Camp
"Only in men's imagination does every truth find an effective and undeniable existence. Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life." ~Joseph Conrad
"What doesn't kill me can still make you suffer... " ~Anonymous
"So Cinderella skipped the ball and asked her fairy godmother to make her the first woman president." ~Daria
"Coleridge was a drug addict. Poe was an alcoholic. Marlowe was killed by a man whom he was treacherously trying to stab. Pope took money to keep a woman's name out of a satire then wrote a piece so that she could still be recognized anyhow. Chatterton killed himself. Byron was accused of incest. Do you still want to a writer--and if so, why?" ~Bennett Cerf
"I drink, therefore I am." ~Monty Python Sings
"The secret of life is breathe in, breathe out." ~Anonymous
"Don't take life too seriously, after all, you won't get out alive!" ~Anonymous
"Time is the greatest teacher, unfortunatly it kills all its students" ~Anonymous
"...No... It can't be! I killed you... I saw you die!! And if you soak the slightly-used facial tissue in water over night, then carefully take it out and let it air dry for a few minutes, finnishing off the process with a run in the dehydrator should get your facial tissue smelling fresh as a daisy and soft as ever." ~Seifer Peroxide
"Wouldn't it be cool if we could turn our heads all the way around?!" ~Molly
"Why is it when a guy talks dirty to a girl, it's harassment and when a girl talks dirty to a guy, it's $3.99 a minute!" ~Anonymous
"Then I shall simply deny you the crown and...and..live forever!!" ~Ever After
"Childhood is something you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome." ~Anonymous
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." ~Everyone
"Damn the Man! Save the Empire!" ~Empire Records
"If you love someone, set them free. If they return to you, put several 8 inch blades into their head. If they return again, then run...just run." ~Anonymous
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." ~Anonymous
"Always Mess With Their Minds!" ~Empire Records
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will make me go to a corner to cry by myself for hours... " ~Anonymous
"Some people are only alive because it's against the law to kill them." ~Anonymous
"A best seller was a book which somehow sold well simply because it was selling well." ~S. Boorstein
"Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it." ~Truman Capote
"Make everybody fall out of the plane first, and then explain who they were and why they were in the plane to begin with." ~Nancy Ann Dibble
"The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people." ~German Proverb
"Writing is turning one's worst moments into money." ~J. P. Donleavy
"I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved." ~Rose Kennedy
"We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones." ~Stephan King
"The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his clients to plant vines." ~Frank Lloyd Wright
"I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil." ~Truman Capote
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." ~Johnny Carson
"I've been on a calender, but never on time." ~Marilyn Monroe
"Books aren't written, they're rewritten. Including your own. It is one of the hardest things to accept, especially after the seventh rewrite hasn't quite done it..." ~Michael Crichton
"The secret of survival is: always expect the unexpected." ~Dr. Who
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." ~Will Rogers
"Nature thrives on pateince; man on impatience." ~Paul Boese
"Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training." ~Anna Freud
"Every time history repeats itself the price goes up." ~Anonymous
"As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand." ~Josh Billings
"One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach." ~George Ade
"He who eats Jell-o on the seventh day can go to hell." ~Unknown
"If the Truth is copyrighted...email it!" ~Unknown
"Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad....RAAAAA!" ~Unknown
"Never believe anything until it's been officially denied" ~Claud Cockburn
"Behold the power of Cheese." ~Lots o' people
"One should not alter their character to suit a world, but rather a world to suit their character." ~I'm guessing a writer of some sort
"Bohemian Pickahus Forever!" ~Amalia Ryoko James
"Ahhh, agnostics. Little atheists in training." ~???
"Wow, all this teen americana at once makes me feel like I should have something pierced."~ ???
"Life would be Great if it wasn't for the people!" ~???
"Shut up, I'm thinking and I don't need any of your negative energy." ~???
"Trust no one, and no one will trust you. Trust everyone, and you're screwed!" ~Sarah Mulder
"The Truth is out there, but it's so hidden in perspectives, lies, and corruption that pure Truth is impossible to see." ~Krystyn Poe
"Speak what you think now in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today.
--'Ah so you shall be misunderstood.'
--Is it so bad then to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstod, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, from "Self-Reliance"
"Howdy doodly do! How's it going? I'm Talkie, Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?" ~The Toaster from "Red Dwarf" (1988)
"So, basically, you want to blow a million dollars on condoms?" ~Greg Fuller (Model UN 1998)
"My moral standing is lying down." ~Trent Reznos (Model UN 1998)
"No comment. It's against male pride." ~the world may never know (Model UN 1998)
"Scully was almost mmmm-mmmm good!" ~The XF Nitpicker's guide (Our Town)
"Dreams are answers to questions we don't know how to ask." ~Mulder
"War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorence is Strength." ~1984
"Big Brother is Watching." ~1984
"It's not my fault!" ~The Star Wars Cast
"...can't sleep, clowns will eat me..." ~a psychopath or two