Jeff's Rants and Raves

go to the the new one.

Welcome to my site. It's a blog-ish type thing, where I will every once in a while write my thoughts on something. Made from entirely 100% pure whole grain html, which is <sarcasm> hella fun </sarcasm>! Links page is up!

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October 23rd

It snowed today. It was constant for about an hour and a half, from math class to spanish (8:30-11:00). I got really psyched for skiing. Which reminds me, I saw Better off Dead this weekend. Which also featured skiing. It was pretty funny. But you know what? I have to see School of Rock. I heard that was awesome, and Jack Black starring would be enough to make me see it even if i heard it sucked. Soon this page may be switched to another server. You'll just have to wait and see. In any case, I can't frickin wait for it to snow more, or at least to go skiing where theres more snow.

wow, so I guess the redsox lost. And was it really grady's fault? Even if it was (yeah, you gotta have the guts to pull a pitcher who obviously wants to stay in), I seriously doubt that you should fire him for that. Honestly, he did lead a Red Sox team to the ALCS, which hasn't been done in a while. October 16th

Wow, I was really depressed when I wrote that yesterday. The Red Sox won, and they're playing Game 7 tonight. Won't be a Cubs-Sox Series anyway, but I just hope to god we can get there. If you're looking for some cool songs, check out the wazee music database. I recommend in.spite.of - A metaphor for the innocent. Good luck sox. Rock on. \m/_ (^_^) _\m/

October 15th

As I write this, the Red Sox are playing the last few innings of what looks like it'll be the last game of the season. Mo'Fo' Yankees. So today I'm gonna outline why the Yankees are the devil.

First, let's look at history. Since the inception of our American society, the idea of social mobility has been prevalent. This means that poor people can, through hard work, become rich and/or famous. And baseball helps uphold that; talented players become some of the richest people in our culture. However, the Yankees are the complete opposite. George Steinbrenner, the rich asshole, told us "I will never have a heart attack. I give them." According to, George is largely single-handedly responsible for the salary boom by jacking into the free-agent market. He has ranked winning as a priority in his life second only to breathing. The only "boss" I know is Bruce Springsteen, despite what New York media has called Stein-f*&#ing-brenner. I hate this man more than he loves money, and that's saying something.

Next, let's look at business. Normally, when a company uses its high base of capital (money) available to buy out the competition, it's called a monopoly. The monopoly is disbanded by the government, and the management fined. But the Yankees continue to purchase the best players available, disregarding both a salary cap and any other team's hopes of winning.

You know what? Nobody likes the guy who wins all the time. Not only does it become unfair, but no one else cares about the game anymore. And for this reason, I propose that the Red Sox nation rise up and assassinate every single Yankee player and owner. OK, just kidding. But seriously, this can go on no longer. Maybe I'll just shoot myself. I'm gonna need one hell of a suicide note, though. Cause it's been one hell of a season, and we won't go down easy (I hope).

Later October 7th

wow, I'm tired. I guess it serves me right. And good news, viewers: I'm taking an online class in HTML, Dynamic HTML, and Scripting. I'm taking a break from the redsox, (wearing a manny shirt nonetheless), and today I'm gonna ramble about the California recall.

That's right, the California Recall. Or is it a total recall? The gubernator appeared to be winning in the polls at last glance. But let me point out something screwed up with the system. There are two ballots. The first is either a vote for Gray Davis, or anyone else; that is, it's a recall ballot. So let's say the recall passes, 57% to 43%. On the other ballot, there are 135 candidates. But assuming a relatively normal spread, with, say, 40% schwarzenegger, 26% Bustamante, and everyone else is under 5% each, adding up to 34% of the rest of the vote. (40+26+34=100%. Ok.) Schwarzenegger becomes the new governor, filling out the rest of Davis' elected four year period.

But let's take another look at the numbers. 40% of the voters wanted schwarzenegger, and probably less than that because the people who voted to keep Davis might not vote for a replacement. So it's realistically more like 30-35% of voters who want to remove Davis and replace him with Schwarzenegger. Compare that with the 43% who vote to keep Davis, and it's clear that the system is f*#%@d up.

But now, you're asking, what if your numbers are wrong, Jeff? Even so, you have to consider that if all candidates were on one ballot, Davis would probably receive the most votes. Beyond that, a recall is only supposed to be used when the governor is corrupt or engaged in crime, and he couldn't be impeached. But the one good thing in terms of democracy is that this will bring out unprecedented numbers of California Voters.

October 6th/Early 7th:

I guess it's officially the seventh. Holy @#!& the red sox did it. And i found a funny poll at MLB dot com, but it's only funny if you have a sick sense of humor. I hope he's OK. That would suck to lose him for the rest of the postseason.

But injuries aside, this was quite possibly the best game I've ever taken part in. Seriously folks, this is one to remember. Also, remember that the yankees suck. That's right. Well, i have to get some sleep.

October 5th

I just got an email from (I am not making this up) David Dumass. Do the spam senders really think I'm gonna think i recognize that name? Its pathetic.

Today I'm gonna talk about the Red Sox. (what else is new?) And instead of posting millions of links, just go to the links page, where you'll find the new and improved redsox hysteria section.

People ask, why do the red sox deserve to win more than, say, the cubs, or the marlins, or the twins? My simple answer is: they don't. But one true thing is that Boston and New England would love winning, would appreciate winning more than any other fans would. The red sox need to win. They need to win for the old men and women who have lived through '46, '67, '75, and '86. For my grandfather, who lived to 76 and never saw a Red Sox victory. For Fred the Baker, that old Dunkin' Donuts mascot. For Ted Williams' family. Because if the red sox win the world series, New England will change in ways the rest of the country wouldn't. Depression would go down. Homeless people would lose an excuse to live on the streets. Generations of fans would feel fulfilled. There'd be more truth in chanting "Yankees Suck!"

Now, you may ask, why isn't this true for those Cubs fans? Well, Cubs fans, if they got desperate enough, had another hope in the White Sox. And they weren't geographically isolated in an upper corner of Baseball country (I don't count Montreal as baseball country). Boston Red Sox fans are weathered, worn, and wintered. We need to win. And it would be felt more wholeheartedly than anywhere else in the country.

That's why the Red Sox need to win the World Series. Thank you, and good night.

October 4th

Holy crap, i just wrote a whole thing for today and angelfire deleted it. Wow, I want to kill someone. I can't really even remember what it was about, except that i watched Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine last night (at home, with my parents. suck.) He's a jerk, but I know plenty of more jerks with guns who need to see that movie. Also, he let me know that our Attorney General has many other skills besides making up for bush's lies? I'm sorry there's nothing more on here, but blame angelfire. (p.s. i was kidding about killing you, angelfire).

October 1st

Not much time today. Just want to let everyone know that the redsox are starting the postseason, and it's looking like it'll be awesome. A cubs-sox series would be pretty cool (as would any series that we win.) Check out links page for redsox links.

Sept 29th

Well, the month of september draws to a close. Who knew what excitement it would have held? Speaking of which, check out the postseason predictions. somewhat happy, but hardly anyone believes the sox can actually go all the way. I feel faint at heart trying to imagine it myself. On a separate note, I don't know if anyone has ever been appalled at Japanese misspellings of english before, but it's pretty funny.

So this weekend I saw Basic at a friend's house. Freaky, cool movie. John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson, in a kind of weird military conspiracy type thing. Ummm... what else was i gonna write about. While i was at my friends house, watching that and dodging mountain lions playing manhunt, some of my friends were at LaserQuest playing five or six hours straight from midnight on. That would have been sweet. In any case, the manchester debate team is about to become famous, and I don't mean through MTV's Real Life: Debate Team. Mr. Averill and Whit Graham are going to Washington DC tomorrow. I'll explain later w/ links maybe.

I realized that I haven't given any conspiracy theories lately. Check out the daily HAARP update, and I hope I won't have to go into detail. All right, i will. It's a large (four acres) array of electromagnetic antennas (antennae?) that power up every once in a while, and they supposedly cause all kinds of bad things, from weather control to mind control to anti-ballistic missile systems (that's not so bad i guess) to buzzing noises in Germany. But the government claims its just a research center, despite admitting the buzzing. Thats all for today folks. Keep listening to the Rustic overtones.

Sept 25th

added some links. I hated Jar Jar, didn't you? Well, now you can watch him die in an ASCII format. Also, I don't have the guts to do this in my parents new microwave, but maybe someone else will try it. Let me know how it works. pictures would be awesome.

Recently I heard about a philosophy called resistentialism. defines it as

"The mock philosophy by P. Jennings as depicted in The Spectator (1948) claiming that inanimate objects are hostile to humans. "
This explains how cars won't start when you need them most, laundry machines eat socks, etc. The philosophy is popular in France, where they say, "Les choses sont contre nous;" that is, the things are against us. Earlier in history, (so goes the idea) this was not a problem; today, with machines behind almost everything we do, it's an easy explanation. Two men, named Clark-Trimble and Noys did studies on this in 1935. In Noys', many people sat in different kinds of chairs. They all dropped a pencil, and only in three cases did it come down within easy reach of the person. What's more, Clark-Trimble did another study with four hundred pieces of carpet, ranging from usual, cheap rags to expensive Chinese silk. He dropped balanced, controlled pieces of toast with marmalade on one side from a certain height above each, and the probability of the toast landing marmalade-side down increased steadily with the expense of the carpet.

Ironically (or justly), Clark-Trimble's career ended when he stepped on a garden rake. That's enough for today. I don't want you to learn too much.

September 24th

lets see... whats new. First, I've found a way to get around the school webSENSE blocking software. I also took a peek into a wierd online community: the web blocking software people and those who work against them. In any case, I urge someone to get the software that enables circumvention. I tried, but I'm behind a firewall/router, so it didn't work. All you need is a broadband connection and leave your computer on in the day. That would be really cool if someone did that, that person might just be my new best friend. (and if that won't convince you, nothing will.) If it works, post the link in the guestbook.

check out this dancing. that's all for now, check back later.

September 23rd

links page is up. have a party.

Well, I'm done with homework, chiefly because my english teacher told us we have none today because we'll have nightmarish amounts tomorrow. yay. And for the carnage-of-small-animals-is-funny section of today's report, let me introduce you to Happy Tree Friends. By the way (on an unrelated note), I found an awesome band. the Rustic Overtones, who are from Maine (whoa!) could be my new favorite band. check them out at your local music-stealing application; they're hard to find in stores.

September 21st

Well, this weekend I went to the Yale debate tourney. The whole team sucked. But that's ok. It was an awesome time. For anyone wondering whether to join (or stick with) debate, let me clarify something. How else do you get your parents to let you loose in a college town with mucho dinero, and a free hotel room? Although the debating part was not too fun, it's always fun to watch the other debaters; it's a real self-esteem booster even for losers like myself.

I think I'm gonna talk about Kazaa today. And the whole file-sharing fuss (fracas?). I understand that a record company would be pissed that people are taking its property without paying. But I think more people actually share music with friends in a casual way, just copying each others' CD's. Someone has to buy it in the first place. If you ask me, the record companies had it coming to them when they jacked up prices on everything (average CD=$18?), and from what I've heard, most of their profit goes to the executives and not the musicians anyway. So I say keep up the music trade. Don't be afraid to share files. I recommend Kazaa Lite, which comes with a bunch of fancy (and confusing) tools, but you can block RIAA IP ranges, search better, and prevent anyone from seeing the list of files available. I tried FreeNet for a while, which uses a section of my hard drive to store files anonymously. It encrypts them and routes downloads randomly to make them hard to trace. Unfortunately, I discovered that because of all the secrecy, it's used mostly to transfer child porn. Nasty. And plus, I couldn't even figure out how to use it. So keep up the good work folks, and send the RIAA a message that we will not keep paying 20 bucks a CD. Or at the least, pretend you're a rebel, like me.

P.S. Check out the new poll way down bottom. Be the first to vote!

September 18th

I don't have much time, so i'll make it short. Has anyone else noticed i'm not adding many links lately? So here's a good one. I tried Francisco franco and Fidel Castro, and even though i wasnt sure on some, it got both of them. Also, check this soda out. Wish they sold it around here. No good redsox news. Dammit. Oh, by the way, a unilateral (Dave Heath) decision has named the band the Ill Harmonic Orchestra. what do you think?

September 17th

Not much to say today. Still good news with the Red Sox. I got a cold right before this weekend, and had it worst on all of the Cranes Beach campout. Anyway, I've been taking Nyquil before bed, then reading for like half an hour while i become ridiculously tired. Anyway, I've been reading Dave Barry, and I found a very cool quote.

"Sometimes, even though we love America, with its amber waves of purple mounted majesties fruiting all over the plains, we get a little ticked off at our government. Sometimes we find ourselves muttering: 'All the government ever seems to do is suck up our hard-earned money and spew it out on projects such as the V-22 Osprey military aircraft, which the Pentagon doesn't even want, and which tends to crash, but which Congress has fought to spend millions on, anyway, because this will help the reelection efforts of certain congresspersons, who would cheerfully vote to spend millions on a program to develop a working artificial hemmorrhoid, as long as the money would be spent in their districts.'"

guy's a genius... or not, but at least he's more inspired than i am today, so i'll say goodbye.

September 15th

It's been six days. And it feels like i've been in shcool forever. But that brings me (well, not really) to the real reason for posting today. My friends Adam, Keir, Dave, and Ben are in a band, but it has no name. I've heard a lot of speculation. It started as Kungfusion, then cold fusion, lobster band, and it's deteriorated to a mad rumble. My favorite involves either the word "cult" or some odd reference to food, i. e. "chester fried chicken." Feel free to add any comments to the guestbook. ttyl.

September 9th

School is back! Whoopee ding! So far its ok, but today I'm going to blabber on about one thing in particular: the new website filter. This thing just pisses me off. Yeah, I agree kids shouldnt be looking at porn or opening computer viruses on school computers. But that's about all a filter should do. Among the blocked categories: financial data or news, political organizations, personal websites (including angelfire, so i can't access my ftp storage from there), games, and my favorite: "tasteless." Many of the links (the majority of the links?) on this site would fall under that category. Jibjab among them. Oh well. What am i going to do about it anyway? nothing. Until later, or maybe i'll come write some more and put off homework.

September 1st

Happy labor day. Who ever would have though the US would have a communist holiday. Anyway, I'm back from camping and school starts soon. And the redsox lost two of three to the yankees. So I'm a little depressed. Also, I'm moving to a small house in chesterville. My mom really likes it, but there's only one shower. Suckage.

My half sister showed me a really cool website that it's hard to believe I've been missing. Jibjab has a bunch of funny animations, although the Bush ones are my favorite. I'm gonna update the favorites page, and I have no more inspiration for today.

Well, I'm back a little later, and I just read a big, annoying spanish story. I just found a really cool website, and instead of copying all of the links it has, i'll just show the way.

Has anyone ever tried to download "serenity" by Godsmack on kazaa? I challenge any reader to try to get an mp3 copy of that song that isnt either plagued by a bleepy, crackly replacement of the seconds from like 12-40 or is a loop of straight out of line. Good luck.

august 23rd

its been a while, hasn't it. The brits have come and gone, my life is back to somewhat normal, and i'm going camping tomorrow with my family. Then its school. Wow that sucks.

Hey, how about that Saugus Little League team. This morning it was all, "they're gonna go all the way," "WBCN salutes the Saugus kids" and "we're unstoppable." For once, Massachusetts as a whole was united behind a cause. Probably New England, too. In any case, they're losing nine to freakin' two. Tomorrow it's gonna be all "oh well they're great" and "Of course it was hard to expect them to win anyway." It's too bad the way things turn out. (for those of you unconnected with recent happenings, the Saugus, MA little league (12 and under) baseball team got all the way to US championships but just lost.)

I saw S.W.A.T. a couple days ago. While i appreciated the valiant attempt to do away with the white cop, black criminal thing, it still pissed me off how trivial they made killing people, just like a fun thing in a day's work. And it turned out that most of the criminals were T.O.M.M.s, Tattoo-on-muscle minorities, who had horribly stupid schemes to thwart the police.

check out the new favorites page. (still under construction)

Also, ever wondered what you could spell with your phone number?

august 12th

well, the redsox lost last night and it looks like theyre gonna lose again today. Or should i say today and tomorrow, because these games finish when its officially the next day. I don't think its fair to have games at such outlandish times that one team's fans can't even catch a score in the newspaper because it finishes so late.

I recently downloaded and watched The Boondock Saints, a movie that was just overflowing with gratuitous violence. But that's not to say it was bad. It was really cool, and it took place in boston on top of all of that. I recommend it. I had something inspired to put on here, but i forgot what it was. so until tomorrow or later, jeff out.

august 11th

hey, its not supposed to be "august 1th". oh well. A lot has happened in the last couple of days, (10 days actually) and i'll write about what's interesting. there are two british boy scouts staying at my house, Simon and Simon. the thing is, they say it like soimin, with an exxagerated "soi," maybe like how some people say salmon. In any case, they're here because we went over there last summer, and there's a bunch of activities organized. We went camping the dumb way which means that we just unload from cars and camp, and we bring tons of unnecessary stuff. Also, we have to do actual flag ceremonies and stuff.

But the fun part was that we climbed some mountains. Mount Cardigan in Alexandria, NH and Cannon mountain, in franconia notch NH. Actually its a tram up there. But some kids took pictures (Wendell to be specific) and here's the link. In the flume pictures and the cannon pictures, i'm the one with the unnecessarily large hair. Also try this one my brother's working on.

*random insert* if you've never tried, you should check out this game, especially if you've read the hitchiker's guide to the galaxy (you'll be confused otherwise).

And for today's random babbling thoughts, i will not disappoint you eager readers. Aren't blogs just public versions of people's diaries in which they can lie as much as they want to sound cool?

Also, i learned today that witches were supposed to ride brooms with the bristles in front, because that was how brooms were stored and would be picked up. Sorry, harry potter. Got any feedback? try the guestbook.

P.S. homestar runner made it to the boston globe, with a tag at the top of the front page, but the article costs 2.95 to view.

P.P.S. this just might be the coolest thing i've ever seen.

august 1th

wow, try this cool link if you're a matrix fan, or even if you're not: ASCII Matrix Bullet Scene

july 29th

try my new funny pix page! [added later] --> Hey, i just had a thought. Every day, the news seems to say that we're closer to catching saddam (cue evil music), right? And once we do catch him, Bush can call the war a success. So what if we've already caught him (or more likely found him dead) and Bush just isnt telling anyone until very shortly before his reelection attempt? Well, i guess that's why there are embedded reporters, but that doesn't mean the army can't keep any secrets. Tune in tomorrow for another conspiracy theory!

july 28th

i had an interesting thought while trying to fall asleep last night. But then, like always, i couldn't remember it this morning. Luckily, i remembered later on in the day. Here it is: The stock market mentality is completely fabricated by the media and brokers. First, you have to agree to one thing: almost completely regardless of how the market is performing, brokers can charge the same amount for transactions and advice and people will still buy investing tips.

OK? Even if you disagree, just bear with my reasoning for the moment. So the market's doing fine one day, with prices steadily rising. But Charles Schwab decides to throw investors a curveball and predicts bad performance for the next week. His advice will be to hold, but people are scared of a recession and they will sell, causing his prophecy to fulfill itself. Does Schwab suffer? No. People still buy his advice because those who obeyed it come out on top after the slump ends. And the TV and newspapers still sell their predictions to everyone.

Damn, i hate it when that happens. That idea sounded way better before i wrote it down. That's all for today folks.

july 26th

well, i'm back after a week canoe trek in the adirondacks, but i won't bore you with my story (hint: rain). ummm... hey the red sox beat the yanks today! excellent! And in the bottom of the ninth inning. well, i'm feeling uninspired today so i guess thats all. I'll add some cool links too.

july 17th

I just heard most of Tony Blair's address to Congress. Wow, that was a bunch of hot air. If you've never watched C-SPAN at night, you wouldn't know that in British Parliament, Tony Blair's speech is interrupted by plenty of scoffs and remarks, and the representatives (is that what they're called?) pick apart his speech when they're done. Anyway, it seems almost illegal to not give a four-minute standing ovation for people in American Congress, so Blair made some quick jokes to appeal to the masses (followed by the obligatory 30-second laugh and applause).

Basically, and maybe I'm misinterpreting this, he said that history will prove that it was a good decision to go into Iraq and that American power should not be balanced. On the first part, this probably just means that he and Bushie have planted some chemical weapons that we'll find in a couple of days. The second part was intertwined with an appeal to unite with Europe, even France and Germany. He asked them to stop anti-American stuff, but didn't seem to care about the anti-European stuff here.

Mostly, I got the impression that he's a better speaker and has a better speechwriter than Dubya. Well, I'm still hoping they don't find any so people realize Bush is a huge liar. That's all for today.

july 16th, 2003

Well, today I'm gonna write about the movies i recently saw. A few days ago i was lucky enough to go to Pirates of the Caribbean, which wasn't bad for a Disney flick. A pirate named Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) comes to a peaceful British colony somewhere in the Caribbean, where Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), the governor's daughter, is faced with marriage to a lieutenant. I half-expected him to be a scary old man, but contrary to Disney style, her life didn't seem too bad if she had to marry him. The man she has loved since she was little is Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) a.k.a. Legolas, an orphaned apprentice to a blacksmith who is adept at swordfighting. It turns out that he and Jack Sparrow must go to save Elizabeth from the cursed crew of the legendary pirate vessel the Black Pearl.

Sounds ok to start with.

But then it goes downhill. It turns out that (partial spoiler warning) Will Turner's blood must be spilled for the curse to go away, because his dad was a pirate himself. As the plot turns, some faulty elements show through. First of all, the moon is always full. Yeah, that just pissed me off. Johnny Depp's performance was good but not really pirate-esque. And is it just me, or does Keira Knightley look a lot like Winona Ryder? Unfortunately, true to Disney style, there were plenty of cheap laughs which made me feel stupid, like a parrot dumping on the British soldier.

overall, it didn't suck too much, but unless you have some cash to burn or if you've been on the Disneyland ride, don't bother.

eBaum's World

Homestar Runner -- I recommend Strongbad animations


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