hey maryang. well maryang, it's wednesday right now, and if i remember correctly you're going to be leaving for mount holyoke on friday. well i remember when i left, it was really hard. it was like everything that i had done in Tampa was all going to be put on hold, if not destroyed. All the friendships, all the people who have made a difference in my life, my family being with me, my home as i knew it, everything was going to be left behind. i was going to a place i didn't know, and even worse to people i had never met. and on top of that to a place that's out in the middle of nowhere. i don't know if i'm ever going to get use to this place. there are just somethings here that i don't ever see myself accepting. but for the moment i'm actually okay. i'm not majorly depressed or tremenduously sad. i'm good. i'm about as good as i get now adays. it's really weird being the only one out here. like i hear all these people talking about multiple people from there high school coming here, and really i'm one of just a handful from the south, let alone Hillsborough HIgh School. and i felt really lonely. the closest person i have is my sister who's a 4-5 hour drive away. and sometimes i would do anything to just get out of this place and go stay with her, but i have no idea how to get to her. but really, i know i'm not alone. there are so many people here with me. people that i love, and people who i can always count on. all i have to do is write a letter, or go online, or pick up the phone. it's amazing how much the people you think are your close friends really are. when i'm about on the verge of busting out on tears, someone will call me and remind me of all the people out there, that know sean koo, that love sean koo, and that worry enough and care enough to find out how sean koo is doing. and even if nobody calls, i still know they're out there. i can just think about them and about all the shit we've done together, and i can't even remember all the good times, and all the hard shit that we've gone through. and really that's what this is. it's just another time when you're going through some hard shit, and you still have your friends to get you through it. it's gonna be different because they're not there right besides you, but it's still gonna be the same that they care and love you. when you need someone just go and find someone to talk to. that's what i do. and eventually you'll even find people up here to talk to. i don't have many, but i know a couple people who will actually listen with concern when i need someone to talk to up here. and eventually i know that even if i don't find any more peeps to talk to, i can still talk to them. and even if i can't i can still talk to my peoples no matter how far away they are. My dad kinda told me the best. this is just another challenge put in front of us. we can't just give up, we have to work at it and conquer it. and maybe this isn't the place for me, but before i decide that i have to find out first. it's a different place than tampa, and it's gonna take me awhile to really get adjusted, but maybe it will all work out for the better. but if not anythign else, you can at least feel the love that you have for other people and the love that people have for you. i'm not gonna lie, i've cried a few times since i've come up here. and really it's from talking to the people i least expect. but it just shows me how much they mean to me. well i better stop, because i'm just rambling on now, but just know maryang, that no matter where you are, and no matter where i am or where any of your other friends and family are, that you're not alone. you never will be. cause even if i don't talk to you for days and days, i'll still remember you for the person you are and i'll still think of you and the friendship we have, not had, but have. just remember that maryang, for now i have to go. you know my email, you know my number, and you know what you got to do. go serve that japanese food for a couple more days and then find out what it's really like.
take care of yourself, and you know, remember the koo.
