It seems that all I ever do is say goodbye. I am always at some ending, wishing someone I love and adore good luck and best wishes. So, it is not a surprise that, once again, I’m here about to say goodbye.
I know you don’t love me anymore…that I’m not worth the pain and that you are much more willing to spare yourself pain than to fill a summer with joy and end it with heartache. There’s a quote I live by: “…be glad you had the moment.” And that’s what I think is more important than pain or heartache; I’m more than willing to have a kickass summer and end it on a bittersweet note than just give it up. You just gave up on me. You…gave…up. How utterly and completely sad is that?
Eventually, I will forgive you. Forgiveness is a part of love. Right now though, I am sad and angry and hurt. And acting irrational is my goddamn right. I don’t have to talk to you. And I really can avoid you for the rest of my life. And knowing that you will never ever find anyone else like me again, knowing that I’m the best thing that has happened to you in the longest time and that you just committed the biggest mistake by giving me up is consoling.
People are constantly asking me if I’m okay. And, surprisingly enough, I am okay. Life goes on and I don’t need you. A lot of my friends want to cause you pain and inflict harm upon you. I can honestly say, that no matter how angry I am, I do not wish you harm. I still love you. It’s probably just my eccentricity at work but holding on to things is something I do. And I can’t just stop loving you. I shared with you a part of me that few people get to see, and destroying that with pain and anger is wrong. I’d rather keep it inside of me and leave it beautiful and wonderful and absolutely amazing than taint it with your cowardice and my pain.
It is saddening. This. Saying goodbye. Suddenly there is no “us,” no more “M&M”. But it’s for the best. It has to be. After all, everything happens for a reason…
Goodbye…
Mary
