It's not that complex.
Nothing ever is.
All things are transparent if you look from the right angle.
And that's why I know you aren't sorry. If anything, you are rejoicing in your freedom from me. Was I really that much of a burden?
Ah, well...you were only inspiration.
What I cannot seem to understand is why it still has the ability to bring me to my knees in pain and despair. And I cannot comprehend how easily it was to discard me, like yesterday's trash. I try to dismiss you as easily as you have done me, but my attempts are futile at best. And when I finally begin to think of other things and people, someone has to mention your name and like an army approaches on a single man, thousands of thoughts of you destroy my mind. They destroy my mind, and my heart as well--crushing it into pieces just as you did.
Everyone tells me that it was not love. That you did not love me and I did not love you. "It couldn't have been love," they say. Oh, but they cannot begin to comprehend what I felt for you. Oh, they cannot know how no place on earth felt as safe as your arms. They cannot tell me it was fake or unreal because I will not believe them. If there is anything in this world I know, it is what I felt for you.
I console myself these days with thoughts that most people would deem cruel. I tell myself that no one in the world could ever compare with me and that you will be unhappy for quite some time. And my mantra lately has become the fact that I will be very far away in a very short time. Perhaps time and distance will heal my soul. Let us hope, shall we?
After all, you were always only inspiration.
