1:00 A.M. Sane people are in bed about now. "Dan? How do you expect to win with Dan?" "Shut up and take your punishment, scrub." "Ooh, trash talk. This match is gonna be goooood to watch." "The guy's playing Dan. Of course there's gonna be trash talk. Dan's all _about_ trash talk." "Round 1 - FIGHT!" If it wasn't immediately obvious, the people talking above are fighting game fans. Most fandom, and especially fighting game fandom, is mutually exclusive from sanity. For instance, many of us like Dan, if only for the fact that he's closest to us in terms of ability - which is why you should stick to video games and never sign up for a world street fighting championship. Of course, if all they were was game players in front of Street Fighter Alpha 2, then this would be fairly needless, boring, and rather unnotable in the annals of history - and, of course, that's not the case. Really. "Hey, no fair air-throwing me all over the place!" said the guy on the left controller with the brown hair and South Park shirt, watching his Ryu get pounded mercilessly. "Hey, Chuck, all's fair in love and war...and is this not war?" taunted the short kid beside him, his blond locks flying to the beat of Dan's throws to the pavement. To add emphasis to his taunt, he then used one of Dan's himself, arm flexed in front of him to the game's scream of "Oyaji!" "But, does that include fighting outside of the game?" said the lone female in the room, watching as Chuck got air-thrown again at the same time as his Ryu. Yes, you heard that correctly, Chuck got air-thrown himself at the same time as his Ryu on the screen. As in...oh, never mind. Conrad grabbed Chuck, controller still in hand, and threw him to the floor. The only male in the room not fighting either on or off a game console, or both at the same time, for that matter, stood back and sighed. Usually, they waited a bit into the second round before trying to interfere with each other's gameplay. At this rate, it would only be seconds before they started throwing ki-blasts, and when one of those went stray, the insurance went up. "Uh, sorry about that, Melissa," said a sweatdropping Chuck, as his large, powerful fireball was dodged by his opponent and not the audience. The guy sighed again. At least he would've been somewhat merciful (or so he thought). "You're mine, fatboy," said a rather angry redhead with fists beginning to glow like when you tap all four buttons in Tekken 3. The gentleman watching from the couch decided that now would be the time to grab a bottle of Jolt. "I'm going to get something to drink - ya'll play nice now, y'hear?" "Check," said Conrad, as he accidentally whacked Melissa with something that had considerably more range than Dan could ever hope to have, and a bit more power to boot, which makes these guys more than qualified for a fighting tournament should they ever consider the prospect. "We'll be done soon, Roger," said Melissa, smiling, as she grabbed two tufts of brown hair and tested Newton's Law of Action and Reaction with the gamers' heads. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - As Roger walked toward the kitchen and away from the sounds of gratuitous violence, he paused. Seeing a bald man with his hands laid upon the knees of legs crossed is not an uncommon thing in Japan - which, by the way, is where all this is taking place, more or less. Seeing the hands glow is, but not to Roger - the man he was watching had taught him that trick a couple years back. Seeing a hazy image in front of his master, now, that caught his attention. Roger tiptoed to the very edge of the room and played "Peeping Tom" for a while. "Twenty years it has been, and but six when the chosen were taken to train for their destiny," said the voice of whomever the spiritual projection in front of Sensei Tatou Pou in, of all languages, Japanese. "Now the time is upon us, and we can no longer shield them from the danger. Tomorrow I will have you bring them before me, and we shall begin the trials." "As you wish, Tou-sama," answered the bald man. "I am confident they shall prove most worthy." "That is good to hear. The house of Mehtou awaits the honor of your arrival." "I shall arrive by tomorrow evening, master." "Then I shall greet you at that time. Good journey to you." "Good journey," said the bald man as the image dissipated in front of him. Without turning, he addressed Roger: "Have the others gather their posessions, and prepare for a short journey. I will explain as we travel." Roger wondered if all teachers could sense things going on behind the back of their heads like his, or if they were all that abrupt in explanation. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Later that day, at more appropriate hours for living, five people traveled alongside donkeys that were really starting to resemble camels, due to the impression on the weight of their backs. The one in front, Master Tatou Pou, addressed his students as they walked. "Twenty years ago, you were asked to join my martial arts dojo - the Vidaihou school of Martial Arts. In return for room, board, and my personal training, you were told that, one day, you would be turned over to my master for his use in certain affairs. That time has now come. Soon, a warning from another planet - a prophesy, if you will - shall be fulfilled, and we shall be in charge of seeing to the protection of my master's land...and, perhaps, much more." "Prophecy? What are you talking about?" asked Melissa, in a short tee and shorter skirt that gave full indication of her adoration of razor card-carrying trouble consultants, as well as why anime would probably not be supported by the American Family Association. "Let it be said that it does not pay to mess with celestial beings, especially ones with distress signals." "Go on," said Roger, wanting to know a little more about what scam they'd enlisted for all those years back. Master Pou sighed. Children, always curious to know, and one day they find out and wish they hadn't. "It will be explained to you in further detail by my master, who will soon be yours. You are to be his samurai - hired warriors who fight for honor and protect a master's country. The aliens that are to come pose a threat, and you have been trained in order that this threat may be defeated. As payment for room and board for the last twenty years, and for many years to come, you will fight and defeat them, or you will die trying. Is this understood?" "Great," said Chuck, groaning both due to the task at hand and the Izuna drop administered by one Conrad Milenkopf. "We're messing with aliens here - I assume we're not talking about illegal immigrants from China?" Master Pou gave the look that said, No, but, speaking of China, would you like to go there first class on Boot Airlines? Roger frowned. "Master, how are we to stop them, much less defeat them? If they are from somewhere in outer space, as you say, and they are able to come here, then what power do we have to stop them? Sure, we can just about cremate anyone on this Earth, but -" Roger's voice was cut off by a sharp pain in the shoulder, introduced by a yardstick at high velocity. "Nevertheless, you are to fight - and it will be hard. But, a samurai invites difficulty, for more is the honor when a greater foe is defeated. Now, here we are - let us announce our arrival, and meet our master, head of Sumsai Electronics, Mehtou Tou." "We can hardly wait," Roger said, wincing. *For a old guy, he has some good aim,* Roger thought, *being able to hit him with five pack animals and three other people in the way.* - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "It is good of you to come," began the old man on the throne with the pointy beard and glasses, "and I am honored by your presence." "We are honored to be in yours, master," said Master Pou, while the rest of the travellers just kept their noses on the floor like they were told to beforehand. The master of the master continued. "As you know, twenty years ago, a search was made across the many continents of Earth for children with great talent. You four were chosen out of the many to undergo training that would allow you to serve me as guards from threats I would make known to you when the time came. That time is now - listen well. "An alien race had contacted ours five years before - though not publicly, but to myself and a few others. We learned some of their knowledge, and they studied our culture. However, at the appointed time when the alien was to leave, an incident occured, and because of this a device was triggered. It took some time to determine the nature of this device, partially because, due to our fears concerning the unknown technology, we preemptively destroyed it, and were forced to examine it as best we could. After lengthy testing and analysis, we were able to determine its purpose - to signal the alien's home planet and call for assistance. Chuck almost took this opportunity to note the excessive amount of dust on the floor with a loud sneeze, but Master Pou quietly stifled his sneeze with a timely, surreptitious ball throw and to his nose, catching the rebound. Meanwhile, Mehtou Tou continued. "We were also able to determine where the signal was sent, and, by examination of his ship and its records, how long it would take for any aliens to arrive. They are set to arrive soon, and, hence, it is time for you to do your duty to me as your master and prevent harm to me and my property. Such is the way of the samurai - to fight to victory or death. Now, my servants shall lead you to your quarters, where you shall live for as long as this threat lasts. I wish you good luck and victory." At that point, Master Pou bowed deeply and backed out of the room. Everyone followed except Roger, who was still on his nose, head bowed, eyes closed, thoughts on Melissa in a bikini. He had to be awoken, after which he ran out bowing before he got his nose put into the ground on a more permanent basis. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - After settling in, unpacking their belongings, and hooking up the Sega Saturn, Playstation, and Nintendo 64 to the television, the warriors decided to grab a cup of triple espresso and a doughnut as a bit of celebration for their arrival from the village nearby. As they neared the front of the line, where an American naval officer on shore leave from a port-of-call in Tokyo had just taken a cup of coffee with full intention to sit and soak up the atmosphere of the restaurant and surrounding sky, Chuck pondered aloud their fate. "So, what d'ya think we're getting into, anyway?" "I'm trying not to think about it," said Conrad, sipping espresso from a full cup in a size normally reserved for your large soft drink. "It feels like, like some cheesy science fiction story where the proactive young heroes go and save the world. If I start jumping vertically around a set of platforms beating up identical bad guys, I want you people to do me a favor and shoot me in the head. Roger, comrade, what do you think?" Roger frowned. "I don't know, and I don't like it, either. What happened that made the alien activate a homing beacon? And why did, um, Master Tou Mehtou go and hire us to be trained and fight them? Are they that much of a threat? What reason do they have that would make them want to attack him, anyway?" "It does not mattter what you like," said Master Pou, sipping a tea so strong you could smell it in the continental U.S. "He is our master now. Whatever he says, you do. Even if he is wrong, you are to follow him, and by doing so you are honored, though he may not be." "May not be?" On that note, the air began to hum somewhat ominously. Roger and Conrad looked around nervously. Master Pou bowed his head to listen and concentrate, that he might decipher its origins. Melissa brushed her hair out of her face to get a good look at whatever was coming. Chuck wondered aloud if there was a group of monks nearby. A split second later, as if to answer, "No, you moron," the air shook the building so hard that the coffee found its way out of the cup and into naval fatigues that would most likely require a good dose of heavy bleach. As the sailor demonstrated exactly what speech he though Usagi should use when confronting youma in her outfit, the students and their master looked up as a weird flying object with wings arcing towards its insides and jets on the bottom made for the city with an apparent intent to put some interesting numbers on police speed detection units. "Would that be the aliens?" Melissa asked in a whisper that suddenly seemed too loud for a room you couldn't have heard it in a couple of minutes ago. "I would think so," replied the master. "Then why are we still here?" asked Chuck. "That is a question we shall not take the time to answer now," said Master Pou, running out along with four students to see what exactly had the stupidity and gall to interrupt five martial artists on a caffeine high. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Meanwhile, back at the mansion of Mehtou Tou, head of Sumsai Electronics, an elevator traveled down to floor B12. Upon opening, the man inside took his key out of the lock and walked to the light switch. He turned on the light and gazed inside at a sight he had seen many times before - scattered, weird electronic gizmos, with a large, draped pillar in the center of the room next to what appeared to be the remains of an aircraft of some sort, most of its circuitry stripped out and lying on the ground nearby. With a grave sigh, he pulled back the drapes, to reveal the pillar to be made of glass filled with a blue liquid. Inside the liquid was a creature. It was a furry, three-legged creature inside, which would be considered headless were it not for most of the head's features, in this case three eyes and a nose, being found on the chest. The creature had the same number of arms as legs - tri-symmnetry being the theme of whatever being this was entrapped inside the glass cylinder. No ears were apparent, though one could only see so much under glass with long, fuzzy hair like that in the way. The man outside the glass, looking again with the same awe as the first time he had beheld such a creature, sighed mournfully. He checked a few digital numbers and lights on the nearby panel, toyed with some of the odd devices strewn about, and then called the elevator. As it arrived, he turned out the lights, mumbling softly to himself. "What have I done, and will these fighters be able to save me from a punishment I cannot afford...even if I deserve it?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, what is next? 'Tis up to you. Something is not as it seems with Sumsei Electronics...we have a flying object buzzing a coffee shop and investigated by our young heroes...we have some nasty moves showing up that were thought only to be in the realm of arcade fighting games...a lady who charges and grabs like she was made by Namco...a man with great power, but little wisdom or finesse...a samurai whose technique is perhaps his greatest weapon of all, demonstrated through his Fighting Art...and a fighter who has not yet shown his potential, though a curious attitude. And of course, the creature behind glass. Nicholas Eckert vidstudent