Early in his teaching and administrative careers, Brother James Kelly, CFX, was seeking advice, among other places at National Catholic Educational Association conventions. On one occasion he came away with the idea of writing to parents, but did not know exactly what he wanted to write about. Shortly after becoming principal of Xavier High School in Middletown, CT, a mother who was a single parent came to him rather upset because she thought her son was a psychopath. When she started to describe his behavior, Brother Kelly started to laugh. She was rather distressed, but he reassured her that what she was describing was a very typical teenaged boy and certainly not a psychopath. From that point on he began explaining teenaged boys to their parents. In the process he discovered that even fathers forgot what it was like to be a teenaged boy.

Taking this daring step, for interpreting their son’s behavior to his parents is surely that, has created feedback. This unexpected bonus for the parents of Xavier High in Connecticut and now at St. Xavier’s High in Louisville, Kentucky, elicited some student sharing. One sophomore came up to Brother in the hallway and asked, "Why do you have to tell my parents all that stuff?" "What stuff," he asked. "All that stuff" was the response. Brother James surmised that he had reached the parents and the young man was not happy about it. Others signaled him that they felt Brother knew what he was talking about. A group of seniors shared with him that he caught the sophomore year pretty well. The fact that the book has soared into a fourth and fifth printing in a short time is perhaps feedback enough.

The title and sub-title alone give rise to a sense of reliability and accuracy. Respect is clearly the hallmark of the approach; patience is implied in recognizing the process by which a boy becomes a man. A guide seems to suggest that Brother James be in the position of one that cares and wishes to help parents make their relationships the rewarding experience they can and should be. Loving is the indispensable soul of all teaching and raising. As Brother Kelly asserts, "More than he needs anything else, a teenaged boy needs to know that he is loved. ...Give him your time, attention and a hug...he’ll never admit that you have given him what he really wants. But trust me when I tell you that, despite his protests, you will have given him what he wants and needs most, and you will be teaching him how to go about being a good parent when the time comes."

To order books, simply contact:

Saint Xavier High School Development Office,