New York - Scientists have identified a substance in the brains of mice that suppresses ugliness, opening up interesting possibilities for people who now resort to plastic surgery, exercise or dieting methods to improve their appearance. Future drugs derived from this substance, which has been named CRAP by it’s founders, would allow anyone to have children that would be much better looking than their parents, and therefore would not require plastic surgery or even makeup when they become adults.
The discovery helps shed light on the physical development process, and some experts are already calling it a very significant step towards eventually eliminating ugliness from the human race altogether. CRAP, which stands for “Cocaine Regulated Amphetamine Process”, is named after the drugs which were given test mice, stimulating production of the CRAP substance in the mice. Their offspring turned out to be picture perfect, with very few physical traits that would be characterized as unattractive.
A protein almost identical to mouse CRAP has already been found in humans, raising hopes that further testing may result in a synthesized form of CRAP for humans. The work of these researchers, which includes some prominent scientists from the USA, Denmark and Germany, will be presented in next months issue of the journal Nature.
CRAP joins a long list of substances in the human body which are know to influence hormonal development in humans. When the effect of the CRAP substance was blocked in the control group of mice, symptoms ranged from grotesque deformities to just plain but ugly mice. This indicates that physical characteristics in general can be controlled by varying the amounts of CRAP included in a regimented daily diet, at least for mice.
The scientists said it is too soon to tell whether similar CRAP effects in humans can be duplicated, but several foreign pharmaceutical companies have expressed interest in funding further research on humans, provided they are granted exclusive rights to market CRAP in their respective countries.
And you thought that most companies already DO sell CRAP...
© Tony Biscaia May 1998
