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Things To Ponder
Things To Ponder

1. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

3. How do a fool and his money GET together

4. How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

5. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

6. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

7. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

8. If you throw a cat out the car window, does it become kitty litter?

9. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

10. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

11. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

12. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

13. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

16. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

17. How come there aren't B batteries?

18. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

19. How do I set my laser printer on stun?

20. How is it possible to have a civil war?

21. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

22. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

23. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

24. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

25. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

26. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

27. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?

28. Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

29. How can there be self-help "groups"?

30. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

31. How do you know honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?

32. How do you throw away a garbage can?

33. How does a Thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?

34. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

35. If a word in the dictionary is misspelled, how would we know?

36. If Superman is so smart, then why does he wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers?

37. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

38. What happens to an 18-hour bra after 18 hours?

39. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

40. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

41. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing people is wrong?

42. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

43. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

44. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?

45. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?