Postings Listed in Chronological Order
(with little descriptions so you know what you're getting into)


November 2001 - A month begun with the best and worst of intentions.
Potentially the world's most awkward first web log entry.


For those of you who just cannot get enough weepy, paranoid musings on the events of September 11th.


A gloating list of my birthday gifts and how they contribute to my conspicuous lack of ambition. Special Report: snack foods, unlikely babes and robots you should know about!


I say I don't need a relationship...then I contradict myself...then I reassert how much I don't need a relationship, and oh, did I mention this all stemmed from a movie? Yeah, that's convincingly healthy.


What's wrong with people in general and the porn industry specifically. Clearly someone needs to take my satellite television privileges away.


Reformatting your hard drive is a lot like douching...


December 2001 - Returning with my tail tucked firmly between my legs.


This explains why my postings got so mysteriously infrequent here after Nov. 17th and why my sorry ass will be posting here a lot more often.


No, this isn't me pretending I hate Christmas like everyone else, this is something different.


A user's guide to eating, masturbating and bending reality to suit your own escapist needs.


I've got a big dick and killer speakers. What more does a broad need?!


January 2002 - Hey, Look! A whole new year to fuck up!


"Celebrating" the New Year with characteristic numb-skullery.


Driving a stake through the heart of my noctournal ways.


Was that an obscene phone call I hung up on, or a legitimate cry for help? You make the call! (Just don't call me.)


I don't know if it's the sex or the vigilante justice, but, sometimes, I actually love my job.


That evil, bitch doll Barbie had it coming to her. Ask any woman in her right mind!


My efforts to amuse both you and myself only prove how much free time I have.


Larry isn't working out. But don't worry, we'll be fine.


February 2002 - Damn, Did I Forget To Hop On The "I Hate Valentine's Day" Bandwagon Again?! Contrary to popular belief, I did survive my new sleep schedule. I'm wearing a pin that says;"Ask Me How!" right this second.


Tell me something I don't already know!


I've got a miniature secret camera. Okay, so it's not exactly miniature,and it's hardly a secret.


I'm not only going blind, I'm a cool, minty, refreshing beverage!


My worthless life is complete.


Did you know any of these things? Me neither. Thank god for online tests!


So I'm going to tell you how much I hate my local police. Those fuckers!


Treat your employees humanely, or they will bitch about how ineffectual you are in their blogs.


But a warped subconscious is forever!


And a movie you must fucking see!


I had the weirdest dream last night...


March 2002 - In Like a Lion, Out Like a Clam


An admired chimp gives me my comeuppance. Plus I see a film that doesn't suck.


Banging the delivery man.


Possibly the most fulfilling cinematic experience I've ever had.


Expose your tender underbelly! The worst they can do is stab you in it.


Taiwan_On takes the ennagram test. And flunks.


April 2002 - I'm blaming spring and a new computer for my obvious lack of dilligence.


An Edward Gorey Test and a new computer.


I'm considering becoming Amish after this one.


Dreaming of a boy who doesn't exist.


Restoring photos and rehashing memories.



May 2002 - Bye Bye, Seasonal Affective Disorder!


I'm all over the damn place! And I just fucking realized I spelled Atom Egoyan's name wrong! Bastard!


A non-blog. Don't bother.


In memorium.


Proving the "c-word" isn't any less offensive simply because you spell it with a K. Oh, yeah, but I love Lee Stewart.


This monkey's gone to heaven.


Ain't that about a bitch?


On grief and hair removal


I dreamed Lee Stewart was a superhero.


June 2002 - This summer is just getting weirder and weirder...


 I am an enemy of the christain church.


Is that a pro-life plane flying over my house?!


Vote, you bastards!


Fairytales for self-actualized loners.


Total emotional meltdown.


Especially where I'm involved.


July 2002 - I Got Your Fireworks Right Here, Baby!


 Crazy enough to quote 80's hair bands.


Cal, you are the coolest!


Everyone needs a hobby, right?


And you all are invited


To all you readers and sketchy-ass lurkers


Adventures in my hoo-hoo.