The Unofficial Stools Home Page
The Stool's first American release was a Christmas E.P. that found it's way to the stores just three days before December 25th. Only four songs long, it still managed to show the depth of the band's musical influances. A gospel song, a carol, a folk rocker and an Elvis parody, all written by Lance Norris, it served to introduce the record buying public to the excentricities of the band.
The E.P. kicked off with "On Your Knees", which would later surface on the full length "Meat the Stools". A gospel number with Elvin growling the introduction like a bible-thumping, God botherer. It's the Stools at their most base. Playing a proclamation of the redemption against a plea for oral sex. The narator knows the "you" bibically and she (or he, in light of the number of sex scandals involving the catholic church these days) is hypocridically using her religous beliefs to justify not giving oral gradifcation.
The band at this point was Elvin on vocals and 12-string guitar. Cosmo on guitar. Creacha on keyboards and backing vocals. Orin "Paisly" Owsley on the bass and backing vocals. Doug or Don on drums, with Antonio Moretti & The Stanking Pouches on backing vocals. Lance Norris and Ed Moloney produced the tapes, and Ed engineered and mixed them. For some reason they decided not to have Antonio play any saxaphone on the songs.
On "It's Christmas Time Again" Norris blasts the commercialization of the season, over a elegant keyboard work-out by Creacha. While the song takes some obvious stabs at the prostitution of the Holiday, Norris turns it around in the last verse, when the narator admits that even with the all his malace, he is lonely on Chrismas. The Stools turn up the depression even higher when they re-mixed the song for the "Another Stools X-mass" E.P., but more on that later.
"Santa Copped A 'tude" is what the Stools thought it would sound like if Nick Lowe ever produced a Bob Dylan song. In it, the elves have turned Santa's North Pole toy factory into union shop, and their production is down. The reindeer won't fly in the rain, no one has been good this year, including Santa (who is revealed to be a pedophile), and the narator's family mace and set the dog on old St. Nick, all of which combine to produce Santa's bad additude. This song was also re-issued on the "Meat The Stools" L.P. and as the "b" side of the "New Kid's Got Runover By A Riendeer" single.
The final song, "Merry Chrimmus", is a parody of Elvis Presley, but only in style. Creacha, Antonio, and Orin fill in for the Jordanairs with their chant of 'What do you want for Christmas', while Elvin sneers about wishing a former love a happy holiday. Cosmo chimes in with a Duane Eddy riff, and Creacha lays a 'happy' organ solo over the top. The song wasn't written as an Elvis parody. Early demo tapes shows Norris had meant it to be a blue grass number, and in early rehearsals it became first a Leon Russel tribute, and then the Elvis idea surfaced when Elvin kept counting the song off with a Presley like "A-huh, a-huh, a-huh".
Once they had settled on the "Elvis sound", Elvin suggested that they have Scott "Elvis" Anderson, a local Elvis impersonator, sing the vocals, but he turned them down, say that the only stage he belonged on now was with the late Elvis and Roy Orbison.
The E.P. ends with a "Christmas Message", paying homage to the Beatles' old Christmas E.P.s, and reminding fans to hold onto their copies because one day it would be a collectors item. The E.P. actually did become a collectors item, but not for the message. They released it under two covers. The general release had a harmless drawing of Santa by Roger Gordy with a pair of shades on, but Dutchco also put out 104 numbered promo copies that featured Gordy's drawing of a fully decorated Chrismas tree made out of shit. Collectors are said to be paying as much as $125 for the promo E.P..
Far from being there most imaginative E.P. musically (The songs are all in the key of G. Elvin even thanks the key of G in his liner notes), it does show why the Stools would soon become the masters of the E.P. Thematically each song builds and plays off of the last, and in a small space, The Stools show the wide range of sounds you can get from five instruments.
EPs
A STOOL'S X-MASS
1) SANTA COPPED A TUDE
2) IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN
3) ON YOUR KNEES
4) THE GIFT
5) GIFT WRAPPED, CLAP TRAP WITH A BIG BOW
6) MERRY CRISMA
A STOOLS SIX-PACK SMACK
KHAKI
1) DON'T WAIT UP
2) INFATUATION
3) HANG THOSE TEARS OUT TO DRY
4) FRESH MOWED LAWN
5) FIRE IN THE HOLE
6) GOTHIC SLUT
DISPOSABLE GIRLFRIEND
1) LAST BREATH
2) LISTEN
3) DISPOSABLE GIRLFRIEND
4) SOMEBODY GOT MARRIED
5) DON'T FEEL SO BAD
5) LOVE, JOY
TEASING
1) BULLIMIAN BLUES
2) DRAW SOME BLOOD
3) TEASING
4) TAKE OUT A LOAN
5) LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE
6) LET'S MAKE IT LAST
SOFT AS A GRAPE
1) ARUBA
2) YEARS
3) THE WAIT
4) TOO EASY
5) WALK RIGHT IN
6) LULLIBUY
THE STOOLS TAKE THE TREE OUT OF COUNTRY
1) POETRY
2) LAY SOME PIPE
3) YOUR GIRL
4) I DON'T MIND
5) BALD HEADED SHORT FAT AND DUMPY
6) 8TH OF MAY
SKID
1) ELEVATOR FROM HELL
2) SOFT AS A GRAPE
3) I DON'T LIKE THE LOVE SONGS
4) FOR WAIT OF A NAIL
5) SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY
6) I JUST WANT TO DANCE
OTHER EP TITLES:
THE UNPLAYABLE LIE
POSSUERS OF PROSE
GREATEST SHITS LIVE (VOL. 1 & 2)
THE STOOLS: ENGLAND'S LATEST HIT MAKERS
THE STOOLS UNPLUGGED
NINE INCH JAILS
ALL OF MAO'S GOOD LITTLE CHILDREN SING THE SONGS OF THE STOOLS
DROPPING THE KIDS OFF AT THE POOL
LP TITLES:
DRACONIAN MESSURES
SOPHMORE SLUMP
BOX SET:
THE STOOLS SAMPLES
My Favorite Stools
- The Late Cosmo-Guitar
- Antonio-Sax
- Elvin-Singer
- Bolt-Drums
- Bo-Bass
- Creacha-Keyboards
My Faovrite Stools Links
Stools Rule
The 'Real' Stools Home Page
Email: stools@mail.com
