The Freakish Mini-adventure
Kitty fell down face first as soon as she set foot in her home; and was immediately trampled by Punkin, Puddin, and Alexis. Punkin is a strange girl, who usually stands for what is inappropriate and twisted. Puddin is. . . Puddin, and not much else can be said about that; which seems to be their motto. Alexis is a shiny lizard. He guides the trio and watches over them. At least, that’s what he thinks. Kitty is a Paul McCartney-Crazed, bell bottomed, beetle girl who whines a lot. And she’s the leader of the group.
Punkin immediately ran for the bathroom. Kitty saw this and shouted, "No, you don’t!" She jumped to her feet and raced Punkin to the bathroom. "Get back here, splut!" "Splut" is usually a compliment to these girls, for they invented the word, but Kitty used it as an insult.
Punkin got to the bathroom first. "Ha, ha, ha. Bathroom is mine!" Punkin yelled at Kitty. She slammed the door shut and locked it, and Kitty ran into the door and fell on her back. She sat there, at the door, whining incomprehensible things.
Alexis sigh, "Those two. Every night it’s the exact same thing, and we have two bathrooms! What’s in there that’s so important?"
Puddin stared at Alexis and said, "Have you ever been in there?"
"No. I’m too scared."
"Good. Let Kitty get hurt every night. She deserves it."
Kitty whined, "I heard that. . . ."
Punkin for the bathroom said, "Meep, Meep!" No one knows what that means. Puddin thinks she’s trying to imitate a dying duck. Kitty thinks she’s just weird.
Alexis sighed again, apparently his favorite noise. "Let’s get on to business. Puddin?"
"Huh? Oh." Puddin started going over what happened that day. "Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar stole our Magic Space Whisk, ‘Allaquestalooma Mighty Space Whisk O' The North.’ You know what Kitty says about that, ‘Kitchen utensils in the hands of the untaught can be lethal.’ But Galla-man knew what knew what he was doing. He tried to give us whiplash when we tried to get it back.
Kitty whined, "Magic Space Whisk. . .whiplash. . .bad. . . ."
"Meep, meep!"
"Shut up."
Puddin sighed, "Luckily Kitty saved us. . .surprising, eh? She yelled, ‘Black Vinyl Heels, Impale!’ and kicked the guy in the shins with spiked heels and knocked the creep on his face. We hid behind a wall—"
Kitty shouted, "Paul?"
"No, sputz! I said ‘Wall!’" "Sputz" is another favorite insult they stole from Sailor Webber; but that’s another story. It means something similar to spaced out ditz. Just then Punkin opened the door, and she hit Kitty in the head. "Ow! Dumb sputz!"
"Hey, I’m not the one sitting behind a door!" Punkin said, then burped.
"Anyway," Puddin continued, "he still has our Magic Space Whisk, and I want it back!"
Kitty got up. "I’m going to bake cheesecake."
Punkin said, "I want cupcakes."
"I want both!" Puddin yelled.
"Cheesecake!"
"Cupcakes!"
"Both!"
The three broke into a hair puling, biting, and loud chick fight. Alexis sighed again. "At least this time they’re not fighting over the remote."
Punkin said, "I want to watch TV."
Alexis moaned.
Later that night, after Kitty made Angel Cake and Alexis put the TV off limits for a week, the four thought about how they’re going to get their Magic Space Whisk back. After hours and hours of continues planning, Kitty said, "Does anyone have an idea yet?"
Punkin said, "Why don’t we just dust him. That usually works."
Alexis look at Punkin and said, "Yes, it usually does; but the point of planning is to figure out how we’re going to get close enough to dust him."
Puddin said, "Sputz."
Alexis said, "How about Puddin distracts Gallarmaller-banana or whatever his name is, and Punkin and Kitty attacks him?"
Puddin moaned, "Oh, sure. Put me in the greatest risk."
"You’re point?" Kitty asked. "That’s a good idea. Let’s do it."
Punkin said, "Yeah. Puddin is no good, anyway."
"Thanks a lot guys. You all suck, I love you all."
Kitty said, "Oh great."
Punkin said, "Meep, meep!"
"Shut up!"
Later that night, the three encountered Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar at an old parking lot. Kitty engaged in a routine introduction and ended it with, "In the name of Turnips, I’ll punish you!"
Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar stood in front of them and yawned.
Puddin jump to the other side of Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar and started making odd noises and remarks to Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar to get his attention, but they annoyed Kitty more. Eventually, Puddin started talking about his name. "Hey Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar! Where did you get that name, foreign garage sale? Sounds like a species of monkeys!"
Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar bristled. "No one has ever made fun of my name."
Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar levitated in the air and raised his hands.
Puddin gasped and shrieked, "Ecchi!" "Ecchi" is Japanese for pervert.
Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar hurled an ice crystal at Puddin and she jumped out of the way.
Meanwhile, Kitty is busy debating with Punkin the advantages and disadvantages of Tofu burgers. . . .
Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar rained Puddin with ice crystals and occasional blasts of negative remarks. Puddin continued dodging, ducking, and jumping toward Kitty and Punkin’s general direction. Eventually, out of shear will power and annoyance, Puddin reaches Kitty and Punkin and slaps them both.
"Hey!" they both shouted in remarkable unison, "what did you do that for?"
Puddin ignored the comment and pointed at Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar. "Look! Look! Look! Get him! Get him! Get him now!"
Kitty and Punkin looked at Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar just as another ice crystal came down toward Puddin. The ice crystal missed and instead grazed Kitty's boot. "Hey! That was my boot you scratched! Now you're totally dusted!" Kitty stood up straight and shouted the command to her most powerful and annoying attack, "Moon crystal starlight darkprism pink sugar bubble yum achingly gorgeous silver shiny spiraling death ribbons rainbow meditative heart-attacking power kiss!" Due to Kitty's anger, and the low humidity, the powerful beam immediately vaped the demon formally known as Gallamallerfushallar of Nallar. Puddin ran over to the pile of dust and picked up her Magic Space Whisk and cheered.
"Wow," Punkin said, "I never knew you could turn to that shade of overly-angry red, Kitty."
"Never mess with my boots. Hmmph!"
"We got the Magic Space Whisk! Whiplash for everyone!" Puddin shouted.
"Yay." Kitty said, very unenthusiastically.
"Meep, meep!"
"Shut up!"