(Or: I Don't Know You Anymore)

As you probably have noticed, I have taken down almost everything having to do with the internet group WOWD (aka Women Obsessed with Darren), with the exception of an award I had won in March 2000 for Best Known Site and Most Famous.

The reason for this is because I have been forcibly removed from the list by the moderator, who has taken it upon herself to decide exactly what a Savage Garden fan consists of and what a fan's conduct should be. She has gone so far as to blame anyone's behavior who doesn't coincide with hers as "proper" on the band (especially Darren) themselves.

She has often contradicted herself with setting up rules she often breaks herself, insists on flaming any and all columnists for even the slightest negative mention of Savage Garden (including writing a letter to NBC per a 1999 Tonight Show appearance where Jay Leno supposedly "dissed" Darren.), pushes viewpoints that she insists she never had later on, comes up with Darren quotes from obscure interviews noone else can seem to find (most referring to his prowess as a lover and/or private life), and most of all, vindictively blew off anyone's experience meeting or having contact with Darren (including my own) as "typical", yet constantly pushing her own encounter with him.

Despite all this, because I considered her one of my best friends, I kept quiet. She had done a lot of positive things for me as well, so I figured that all balanced out. Even though I have been forced to defend her more than once. Even though I have been asked to prove that WOWD is more than a group of mere psychotics. Even though I have often second-guessed being a WOWD because of all the negative attention they were getting. I kept quiet because of loyalty and friendship to this moderator. I thought she had the same feelings for me.

On September 5, 2000, I found out how wrong I was.

The moderator had started yet another fight, angering more people over her view of pop music. Meaning, anything that is not Savage Garden or the Beatles is utter crap. As moderator, she expected us all to have the same opinion. She expected us to agree with her point of view that anyone who enjoys hard rock bands such as Limp Bizkit and Nine Inch Nails couldn't possibly also enjoy Savage Garden.

One member tried to prove her otherwise and the moderator, though she had started the fight, insisted it end because the member didn't agree with her point of view. The member left, supposedly by mutual decision. The moderator ended this one-way "discussion" by announcing she was going on yet another sabbatical (meaning: she would stay away for two or three days before breaking her silence by shoving down our throats the photo of her with Darren for the 150th time in three months. Again.)

And then, after another member left over an imagined conflict the moderator had with her, and another supposed mutual leaving, I decided I had enough.

As tactfully as possible, even though I was seething, I tried to point out what was going wrong. I insisted that I wanted to remain friends, but I wanted some answers.

Apparently the truth hurt. I was kicked off and banned from WOWD. Sent a private letter being told that I had ripped her to pieces on her own list (this after she had ripped apart two other ex-members...and everyone who had left because they disagreed with her opinion before that. Guess only the moderator is entitled to have an opinion.). Said I should look up the word "friend" in the dictionary (I know what it means; apparently she doesn't follow definitions well.) Said if I ripped her apart this much in public, what did I say about her in private. (She's better off not knowing.) Said she'd mail me my check and never wanted to hear from me again (No problem.)

That's when I realized I was dealing with a sick, vindictive, twisted woman. Others had often told me something similar, but I always thought they misunderstood her. It saddens me to learn they were all right. I had always wondered why she originally trashed this page as "sick", then when I joined WOWD, suddenly praised it to high heaven. Now I suppose it will be referred to as "sick" again, being I am no longer on the list and I have been kicked off her All Around Darren ring as well. C'est la vie.

One more thing: In November 1999, she was due to get an autograph from Darren via a representative from a local NYC radio station. The morning Savage Garden made their appearance on the station, she received an e-mail from her contact, who apparently read her (now deleted) erotic fic page via a webring she owned. He told her he would not get her Darren's autograph because he was "disheartened" by the stories. I was the one to call and comfort her when she e-mailed everyone with the news.

Not two days later, after her meeting with Darren (after dismissing my eye contact with him as "oh, typical"), she insisted that he also despised erotic fics being written about him and insisted that I should take my page down as he said such stories about him were "negative publicity". I had actually toyed with the idea, but thankfully was talked out of it by my true friends, my ADM chicas. Later on I found out, as to the best of my knowledge, not only had Darren never said any such thing, he also contradicted this woman's announcement by saying such phrases in interviews as "I want people to fantasize about me...I'll be anything you want...I'm a public gigolo." (Cream) and "If the fans want to think Daniel and I are gay, that's fine...I thank the fans for their interest." (Japanese MTV site) Somehow, this does not sound to me like a man who minds stories of any kind being written about him much.

In conclusion, I don't hate this woman. I just feel extremely sad for her that she has to project her demented feelings--they swung wildly from prodding he was a pure angel to insisting he had "changed" into a celebrity and therefore an asshole--for a gifted, caring man many idolize on her undiluted whim to anyone she thought would listen. I pity her because she would rather think of Savage Garden fans as "crazies" rather than the diverse group of wonderful people I have met over the past year. I shake my head over the fact that she can't understand that Savage Garden's music is for everyone, of all ages, sexualities and music preferences (among other things), not just the select few who she thinks should like them. Then she complains that Columbia "keeps them in a box".

It's time the moderator of WOWD was exposed for who she really is. As I said before, the truth hurts.

It's why I'm now proud to be an ex-WOWD.

Cynthia Maire
September 7, 2000

P.S. I believe in karma, what you give is what you get returned.