It's been over a year now since I wrote "Where Angels Burn", the first spec for my site. It was unlike any other Savage Garden fanfic out there at the time--raw yet sensual, and very honest in my sexual attraction toward Darren and Daniel.

The response was overwhelming.

I had told myself my page would be successful; what startled me was the avalanche of e-mail I would receive almost immediately upon putting it up. Most of it, to my surprise, was positive. Finally, someone who likes Savage Garden for the same reasons I do, these readers would tell me.

With others, however, I had apparently touched a raw nerve. I was not shocked. Never had I thought that my page would please everyone. But I was only semi-prepared for the one question I would hear the most:

I don't. I have no desire to hurt him, physically or emotionally. Many who ask me that question have either no knowledge of BDSM (which for the uninformed, stands for bondage discipline sado-masochism), or worse, learned what little they do know through misinterpretations courtesy of the media

When I set out to make this page, I wanted to write stories that blurred the lines of different sexualities. Not just hetero/homo/bisexuality, but also between so-called "vanilla" sex and BDSM. Stories that explored the dark side of love, not the so-called "typical" (what is typical anyway?) relationship between a powerful dominant and his/her supposedly cowering slave(aka submissive), but the love, the attraction, even the romance that exists between those two extremes.

So what does this have to do with my adoration of Darren Hayes? you ask.

To you, nothing. To me, everything. As I became more drawn into the musical scapes that is Savage Garden, I started to learn about the two men behind it. Interviews, articles, chats, everything I could find. Along the way, I would fall deeply in lust and began to fantasize about this lovely Australian satisfying my every want and need...

The general consensus about Darren is that he loves attention, he has a bit of an ego, he enjoys being the one in front, he has a powerful aura of sex around him--yet at the same time posesses a little boy innocence he is probably not aware of. All of which makes him the perfect submissive in my eyes.

Daniel, on the other hand, is said to be quiet, thoughtful, the one to sit on the side whilst Darren chatted away. Until he smiles. I always thought there was something behind that smile. Especially when you have it aimed toward you (as I have), you can see the mischief, the promise of any carnal desire you wish manifesting in those eyes. In my thoughts, a dominant. The perfect complement to Darren on many different levels.

BDSM is the perfect illusion. To the uneducated eye, Darren is in danger, unwilling, fearful. But it's all fantasy. It may appear Darren is in danger, but the truth is, at all times I make sure he is very much safe and loved. And always, always a willing role player in an erotic game.

Recently, Darren has put up a statement on the Sony BBS. In it, he offers his concerns about "personally degrading" sites. I hope he does not consider this page one of them. If he, or one of his friends or close acquaintances is reading this and is offended, I apologize. I did not set out to portray Darren or Daniel in any kind of degrading manner. That was never my intention. If Darren, Daniel, or someone close to them is reading this, I would like them to know that I only write about loving acts between consenting adults. Noone is ever unwilling or forced. I write with the utmost of intelligence and respect.

Although I am aware there were a few erotic fics predating my own, I believe I came up with the first pure erotic fanfic page. Others have sprouted up since. I see them as complements to my site, and I welcome the diversity. Many of these authors have contacted me, or I them. I believe that as a group, we have become closer than authors in "general" SG ficdom.

As you exit to explore the rest of my site, remember that these are my dreams about two men who have made very special music. Music where everything is not always what it seems. Music that reaches to my head, my heart, and beyond.

Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones, two men who through their music have relaxed me, aroused me, set off fantasies where I am their private audience of one...

In your mind, the fantasy always becomes real.