See the updated version here
Cast
Four Hippos: Green, Blue, Pink, and Yellow (Hippos are not gender specific)
A male victim
The rest of the cast stands to either side of stage or audience alá Greek Chourus
Lyrics
(Sung by offstage cast and Hippos)
I see a hungry, hungry hippo and a man
Hunger-pang, hunger-pang, He will soon be swallowed
Fighting being eaten, very very Grecian and they
(each "mayo" sung by different cast member, alternating sides of the stage)
Just add mayo, just add mayo, just add mayo, just add mayo, just add mayo, just add mayo
(full cast excluding man)
Just add mayo-o-o-o-o-o
(sung by man)
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
(cast)
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Losing his life to these monstrocities
(man)
Easy come, easy go, will you not eat me?!
(Sung by respective Hippo, followed by cast)
The Green Hippo will eat you now (Green Hippo advances threatengly)
Don't eat him
The Pink Hippo will eat you now (Pink Hippo...etc.)
Don't eat him
The Blue Hippo will eat you now (Blue Hippo...etc.)
Don't eat him
(Yellow Hippo)
Will eat you now
(man)
Don't eat me-e-e-ee
(man and cast)
Now, now, now, now, now, now, now
(man joined by rest of cast for last "of me?")
Oh Hippo-mia, Hippo-mia, Hippo-mia Don't eat me
Oh Parker Brothers, why do the Hippos want a side of me?
of me? of me?
(Sing Instrumental, Greek Chorus head bangs ala "Wayne's World")
(man)
So you think you can stop me and chomp on my thigh
So you think you can chew me and leave me to digest
Oh, baby--take your lips to me baby (sung to specific Hippo)
(Real lyrics...interesting, the "victim" has decided to give up and be eaten)
Just got to get out, Just got to get right out of here
(Sing Instrumental again)
(cast and man)
Oh yeah, oh yeah
(man)
Nothing really matters, anyone can see
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me...
[Smothered by all four hippos]
(cast)
Hungry, Hungry Hippos...
Editor's Note: This was originally performed by the Colgate Experimental Theatre Company (CETC) in the fall of 1998 in the show "Rockinghorse." Some of the stage directions were written by Ilana Manaster. The original cast:
