After what happened today, I shouldn't be writing anymore, but I don't care. I'm not going to let that bitch control my life.
I had already had a bad day at school. Do you know that it's possible to get 15 detentions in one day?
How many detentions have been given out to me, I don't know. Detention was the first word I learnt the meaning of on the first day of school, so that tells you something.
Anyway, I walked into the lounge room after going for a piss and I saw Bulma with 2 sheets of paper lying on the couch, giggling her stupid face off.
I knew exactly what those papers had written on them and I felt that anger build up inside me for the countless time.
"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM" I yelled through gritted teeth. I saw her suddenly turn motionless and silent. If I were her I would be begging for forgiveness.
But what did she start doing? She stood up and started laughing. Laughing AT ME.
"Shit Kakarott. You're a real great writer. Honestly you could really turn your life into a best selling novel..." she said laughing turning her back to me, "All you need to do now is say how big your dick REALLY is at the begginig of the book, change the title to 'the life of the guy with the smallest dick in history' and you've got a best seller on your hands"
You should of seen her laughing, flapping those 2 sheets of paper in front of her. I walked up quickly and tried to snatch them back but she put them behind her. I moved in closer, my face inches from hers and demanded the pieces of paper back.
"......and to guess they were never going to tell you........" she said side stepping me and walking into the kitchen leaving the two pieces of paper on the table.
"Tell me what?!" I screamed picking up the pieces of paper and sticking them in my pocket.
"Sorry!" she said holding out a toothpick, "Your dick must be this big for me to answer you"
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID JOKES BULMA" I screamed. I was finally losing it. I could feel the hot sensation in my wrists again and I could tell Bulma was starting to get scared. A couple of plates started to explode and Bulma pressed her self closer into the corner she had parked herself in too. I heard some screaming beside me and finally snapped back into reality when I felt a blow to the side of my face. It was my Dad.
"PISS OFF KAKAROTT!!!!" I heard him scream as my Mum ran up to Bulma and started hugging her.
I wasn't going to go outside and freeze my ass off so I went to my room and stayed there for hours till someone knocked on my door.
It was Bulma.
The numbers 2:00 flashed at me and turning back around to see her again I saw that she was crying.
"I- I- Kakarott, I want to show you something"
Why does everyone treat me like an idiot? Yeah, like I was going to stand up with a smile on my face and listen to her spill her heart out about being perfect all the time or about her boyfriend or what ever crap fills the air in her head.
I turned around and pretended to fall asleep. She started yelling at me so I did the fingers at her and put a pillow over my head. Kami she's annonying.
"Kakarott, you're an alien!" she whispered like it was some horrible truth.
"Just fuck off would you?" I yelled at her when suddenly she ran up and covered my mouth with her hand.
"Shut up, they're going to chuck you out tomorrow and if they find out what I'm doing they'll chuck me out as well"
Well, who could blame me? I was bored and maybe, if I was loud enough I'd get Bulma chucked out of the house, so I followed Bulma out of the room and into my fathers lab. Bulma came up to one of those doors controlled by those fingerprint scanners and we walked into this big room. Again we came to another door, and then another, and then one more.
What do scientists and doctors have with flash doors controlled by fingerprint scanners? When I was younger I tried to scan my butt on one of them and I set an alarm off. No wonder my Dad is going to chuck me out tomorrow.
Anyway, after a bunch of doors we finally came to a dark room. Bulma switched on the lights and this little room that I had thought I was standing in changed into a huge light show in the biggest room in my life and right in the center of it was an egg. And not a normal egg but this huge fucking egg. OK, I can't describe things, like I give a shit.
I walked up to it and as I got closer I saw it wasen't an egg at all, it was a ship. With my name on it. The first thoughts in my head was that Dad wanted to send me into outer space but I'm sure I didn't piss him off that much.
"Um......." Bulma said interrupting my thoughts, "Well what I'm going to tell you now is as much as I know......"
"You know about what?"
"Well when Dad first started the capsule corporation business up in the forest, about 17 years ago when he was researching some tree he could turn into something, he saw a shooting star, only it wasen't a shooting star, it wa a meteor and it was heading straight for the lab. The meteor didn't hit the lab and when he went to investigate it he found this...."
Bulma pointed to the egg and I was ready to go back to bed. Shit Bulma's boring.
"Anyway.... inside this, um, thing, he- he- he- found um- you"
I couldn't believe it, Bulma was stuttering. I wasen't even listening to her. I started laughing. Kami, she sounded so retarded. She started yelling at me about it not being a joke when she repeated the same sentence again and it finally hit me.
"You mean, Dad was in his 'tarzan' stage and one day I came flying out of the sky in an egg with my name on it and he found me"
"Um, yeah" Bulma said fidgeting with her hair.
I started to laugh. I had never laughed this hard in ages. I managed to spit out to Bulma that Mum and Dad had to talk to her about the birds and the bees till her face that had shown pity before, filled with anger and she stormed up to me.
And right out fo the blue she leaned down and kissed me forcefully. I remember looking up at her, speechless for the first time of my life, till my brain kicked in and I jumped away from her.
"ARE YOU INSANE?!?!" I said rubbing my lips with my T-shirt.
"Well I knew that was the only way you were going to get the message" she said walking away.
"Yuck. Gross. You're my sister for kami's sake!"
"I AM NOT YOUR SISTER. THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE. THOSE TWO PEOPLE SLEEPING UP THERE ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS AND FOR ALL YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN SO CAN YOU STOP ACTING SO FUCKING IMMATURE AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING HERE!?!?!?!?!!?!!?!"
I'd never seen Bulma lose it like that before and it finally sunk in. She wasen't my sister. They weren't my parents. This wasen't my house. Everything was falling into a straight line. I asked her how long she knew this and she said since she was 11.
11
I turned around and went back to see the flying spaceship thing and felt like I wanted to throw up.
It's not everyday you find out you're an alien and get kissed by your sister in the same hour....... why does Kami hate me so fucking much?