Back To Top
OK, The first thing I will do is give u some info.
Derek Orthner, also known as Orphy, is a 13-year-old very hott man. He lives in Alberta, Canada (which is such a cool place!) and likes to do web design and go on the computer a lot. He's so cool because me makes really good websites! Like if u go to Orphy Online then you can see how good he is at design. (UPDATE: OK! Orphy got a domain for his website! GO TO: HERE!). Derek is REALLY funny and is a good guy! He has a great personality and always is good to other people! When he's mean to him it's just because he's kidding, he doesn't really mean it! He's not mean like that! HeeHee! Orphy's favorite band is KoRn (SO IS MINE! I LUV THEM!!!) and he likes to listen 2 other things too!
Orphy has a LOT of friends, he is a very popular person at school and on the internet. He posts at a web-message-board called N64CC where he has over 700 POSTS! THAT'S A LOT! Orphy is also good friends online with somebody, he calls himself Link241, I've never talked to him. He shared a web-message-board with him. He also writes Web Tutorials for CSS for a website called Designers Pad, and he has a job but he does it for free! What a nice guy huh?! Volinteering his time to do a good cause! There's this loser kid, Dylan, and Orphy likes to make fun of him, it's SOOOO FUNNY! I LOVE DEREK!!! I would marry him if I could! hehehehehe!
Back To Top
Ok, I'll show you some pictures now.
This is Orphy's a long time ago! Isn't he so CUTE!!!!!!
Orphy plays the guitar. HE'S SOOOOO GOOD!!!
Orphy is SOOOO cute without his glasses on huh?!?!?!
Another one without his glasses!
Orphy working on some homework!!! I bet he gets REALLY good grades.
HEEEHEEE!!! Silly Orphy!!! Aww you're so cute!
Back To Top
Ok, now I'll show you some of Cutie's... I mean Orphy's friends:
Orphy and his friends... look Orphy is sticking his tongue out! cutie pie!
HEEEHEEE!!! Silly Orphy!!! Aww you're so cute!
Orphy's WEIRD friend, Loonie... haha!!! funny name!
Kyle doing something WEIRD!
WOA! Look out Jason Whipe!
Back To Top
OK, now wha t I will do is show u some of the things that Orphy has done and stuff!
Back To Top
OK, Orphy wrote this one, it's called Anti-Telemarketers
Telemarketers. How I dread this word. Probably one of the biggest annoyences in my life. I'm in the middle of eating a meal, generally supper, and I am rudely interupted by a RING RING! I get out of my seat and notice its an unknown caller on my caller id. I pick the phone up anyway. A typical conversation will go like this.
Me: Hello?
Five seconds pass without an answer
Me: Hellooo?
Caller: Hello. May I please speak with mister or misses orfaner?
Me: No. Know why? Because you mispronounced my last name. And we don't care what you're selling, and we don't care about your association.
Click
That just pisses me off. If I ever met any of these dirty mofos, I'd give them an ass kicking. Just because they called me and wanted something that they don't deserve. But someone may ask "why not just block these morons?!" Well, I have two reasons why I don't. One, there are far too mahy of them to block, and two, I like making fun of them. Want an example? Fine.
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello. We are doing a survey about breakfast cereals in your area. Are you over 18?
Me using a paki accent.: Yes. Yes I am.
Caller: May I ask you, is there anyone in your house who is fourty or older?
Me: Yes.
Caller: Is there anyone in your household who is twenty five to thrity nine years old?
Me: Why do you ask such dumb question? You said you were doing survey on breakfast cereal!
Caller: Well... yes, we are-
Me: I like toast.
Caller: O-
Me: SHUT UP AND QUIT CALLING HOUSE!
Click
As you can see, it becomes extremely entertaining. I actually did receive a call like that once. The outcomes are endless. Just make sure you make the caller seem like a complete moron, and that he'll never want to call your household ever again. The Paki voice is just one of the few ways I embarass these losers. Talking like old men, talking like you're mentally retarded, like you're having a heart attack, or just being plain rude/stubborn can do the trick. Another way is to say something like "How would YOU like it if I called your house while you were in the middle of eating something, and not just dinner. Then I asked you to give me money just because I want it?" The bottom line is, don't let these ass rammers annoy you.
(Copywrite Orphy Online)
THAT IS SO FUNNY!!! I LUV IT!!
Back To Top
Ok, here is one that he wrote, it's called How To Play Day Of Defeat
How to Play Day of Defeat
Alright, listen up you noobs. You dowloaded Day of Defeat for Half Life and you don't know how to play. If you follow this guide, you'll become the best DoD player ever!!1
Setting Up
- First of all, you'll want a cool name that will make everyone ph33r j00! Use a name like superkiller. But then you want to funkify it, so make it supahkilla. Some of the best players put Sgt. at the front of their name, so you can be "Sgt.5up4hk1ll3|2".
- Make sure you use SOFTWARE graphics on the highest resolution possible, because everything will be high, so you can aim better! If you're a noob use direct3d graphics at the highest res possible. No one likes opengl because its open.
- Then you need to download some scripts. Ones that tell you what class you've spawned as. So then everyone on your team will know what you're supposed to be doing so then they can do whatever they want!!!"
- Buy a microphone or headset, and make sure you turn on the voice options under customize. Then have a binded key to use your voice, and hold it down at all times. Then you can tell everyone on your team where you are and where they should be. Once you've done that make sure you have annoying techno music playing in the background so everyone on your team can dance! Then sing along with the music. If you have no music avaliable hum it then!!!
- Go download OGC. Make sure you get OGC 1 beacuse it's the best. It'll say that you are using hacks because OGC is a hack, and everyone will be happy to know that you're a good player. People who dont hack are noobs and easy kills!
Playing the Game
- Ok, when you join a server make sure the map is dod_caen2 because everyone loves caen2. if it's not make sure you have a map vote for it. Everyone will praise you.
- Once you're in the game join a team. Make sure you join the team with the most players and highest score. Then you will always win. Always! hahahah!
- Choose a class. You'll want to be a machine gunner becaues the machine gunner has a machine gun and it shoots really really fast and is really powerfull. You can run into the other teams base and go on a rampage with your machine gun
- Once you spawn, you'll want to check if friendly fire is on. To do this just shoot at your teammates! If they die, then its on. And its their fault for not telling you if its off or on.
- Whenever anyone on the other team kills you, call them a hacker, because you're the best and whoever kills you must be cheating.
- If someone kills you with a sniper rifle, call them a gay camper, and then swear at them! They're also too because they killed you. Have a vote kick immediatly to kick the camper!!
- As fast as you can, run to where the other team spawns, and shoot them all as they respawn with your machine gun. They'll all say that you're a cheap but they're really jealous of your skills and saying that you rule.
The Community!
- When you're not playing DoD or you're chatting with people on the game, ask them if they wanna start a clan. Give it a cool name like {GAF}, ->tard<- or [ASS]. Then make sure everyone in your clan cheats and has a name starting with Sgt! If they dont then kick them. Also kick them if they're not wearing you clan tag because that is a disgrace.
- Whenever you see another clan ask them if they wanna scrim then you make a server and you play against each other and try to win!!!
I hope you have found this guide to be helpful so you will kick ass at DoD and be the best player ever!!!
(Copyrite Orphy Online)
OMG I Love that game! And that writing! It's sOOOO funny!
Back To Top
Now I'll show you Orphy's desktop pictures:
Back To Top
Current Desktop:
(Copywrite Orphy Online)
Back To Top
Laptop Desktop:
(Copywrit Orphy Online)
He has such cool desktops pictures! He's a cool guy!
Back To Top
OK, now I'll show you Orphy's current WebCamera Pictures!!! This is so cool becaues it updates the picture sometimes so you can watch him at his computer! He's so silly! I have the Web Camera picture set as my desktop picture so I can see him all the time.
(Copywrite Orphy Online)
Back To Top
OK, Now I'll show you some quotes that Derek has on his website, Orphy Online
Just a bunch of moronic quotes here.
9 out of 10 people agree, that out of the 10 people, 1 will always disagree with the other 9.
"I don't like the sound of you're voice mister!" cracky voiced guy from simpsons
"Hey Homey! I can see your doodle!" Ned Flanders
I wonder what happens when I connect these two wires to-
Don't smoke crack. We really mean it this time.
"My daddy works me, he makes me shave his lawn!" Colton
"My uncle was arrested for raping a dog, isn't that great!?" Colton
"Miss Hoover, I don't have a red crayon, I ate it." Ralph Wiggum
"Everybody's hugging!" Ralph Wiggum
"Me fail english? That's unpossible!" Ralph Wiggum
"No one goes to Hooters for the wings." Chris Rock
"Mmm... beer..." Homer Simpson
"I just inhaled my cum, literally." dookie man
Pubes... Hairy balls of goodness... "They tickle!"
"I've got a turtle head pokin' out!" *shits pants* Colton
"Dude, you kissed a girl, that is so gay." Jimbo Jones
"Whatchu talkin' about?" Gary Coleman
"Whateva, I'm not gay." My gay brother
"My brother's name is Brock. Yeah I know it's a weird name." Colton
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
"I can prove to you guys I have a penis!" "No, Colton, no." Colton to the class
What are you talking aboot, this site is run by a Canadian, eh?
(Copywrite Orphy Online)
THOSE ARE sOOOOO FUNNY!! ORPHY IS SUCH A FUNNY GUY! I LUV HIM!!!!
Back To Top
Ok, now I'll say some of Orphy's favorite things:
Orange! His current AIM font color is orange
Counter-Strike! This is a fun game and he likes to play it a lot and HE IS SOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!
Orphy likes Computers!! He's sooo good with computers!
Websites is another thing Derek likes! HE'S SOOOOO GOOD AT WEB DESIGN!! I WOULD PAY HIM BIG BUCKS TO DESIGN MY WEBSITE!!!!!!
Derek LOVES KoRn! And I'm not talking about the food! hehe! I mean the band! He likes this one song where there's this big screm in it! He loves that! He also likes some other bands too!
LiteStep is something that Orphy likes too. I don't know what it is but he likes it a lot because it's better tahn Explorer! Orphy is sooo cool!
Orphy also likes to program in CSS! That's soo ocool because he says is makes your site look really awesome! That's cool orphy!
Orphy loves The Simpsons too! So do I! Me and Derek have SO MUCH in common!!!!!!!!!!
Orphy loves to take pictures of his friends and things like that. What a creative guy!
Back To Top
Other Orphy Stuff
OMG! Edmonton might win the Grey Cup, which is like the SuperBowl in America!!! Derek lives in Edmonoton, Alberta, Canada, so that's SOOOO COOL! That would be COOL!!!
Orphy starts school soon :( So he won't be home a lot of the day, but that's ok, because I'll still get to see him on his WebCamera when he IS home! I can't wait to see him everyday! He is so cool and I couldn't live without him! Orphy, if you're reading this, then I LUV U!!! You're so cool and hott and cutie pie!
Back To Top
Contact Orphy
OK, if you want to contact orphy here is how:
AIM SCREENNAME: o r p H Y X p
E-MAIL ADDRESS: orphy@shaw.ca
WEBSITE ADDRESS: http://www.orphy.com
CONTACT FORM: http://orphy.com/index_moz.php?content=contact
Back To Top
Contact Me
AIM SCREENNAME: orphylover010
E-MAIL ADDRESS: orphy_lover010@yahoo.com
OK! That's the end of this website! I hope everybody liked it, and I hope you love orphy just as much as I do! He's so cool! Bye bye!
-- END OF WEBSITE --
-- REALLY --
-- NO MORE PAST HERE --
-- THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE END!!! --
-- THERE IS NOTHING ELSE PAST THIS POINT!!! --
Back To Top
-- SCROLL UP, THIS IS THE END --
-- END OF WEBSITE --
Wow! You sure did scroll down pretty far! You must be a real Derek Orthner fan, just like me! Just for you, here is some more pictures of Derek, the CUTIE PIE!
Heehee! Orphy drew this... it's a drawn-version of himself!
Orphy skatebording! Yeah! GO ORPHY!
Hehe! Orphy on Zip! Awesome!
Thanks for visiting my webpage! Good -bbye!
Back To Top
