12.Today's not any better than yesterday. I asked him if we were gonna talk and he just said no.He stayed on for about another 30 minutes and signed off without anything.I wanna have something to cry about, or something to smile about.I dont know what Im doin now.I hate always being wrong.I dont even know what I did this time.God I just really wanna talk to him. But he doesnt.I added on my profile "always", but I dont know if he noticed.If he did, he didn't say anything. And Im guessing he did see it because we both have a habit of looking at other people's profiles when we're bored or whatever.And I hate it.Cause I meant it.I'm not used to having people know how I feel and them not feeling the same way.Especially when you're still going out with the person. I miss him really bad.But Im not gonna cry over something that's not there. Actually, I dont think I'd cry anyway. Ever since Kitty died it seems pointless to cry over anything less that death. I think I wanna keep it that way.Im sick of always being the weak person. The one crying and hurting..but there has to be one of those in a relationship and I know it won't be him.Either that or we could not ever fight. That sounds fine with me...I never start it anyways. God I never get mad. If I like go do something a little wrong he's all over it. I mean..somethings make sense, but others dont. And too many fights...they all become worthless. Now when we have a fight I dont get that emotional Im just kinda like "screw this its bullshit" cuz he gets mad so much.But every time I think he's gonna break up with me.But the times we're not in fights is well worth it. But for me to help a fight get better, I have to know he still loves me. Im not putting my heart out there for nothing in return.(wait...I just did with the profile..)I know I should just be patient..but I want something to happen.He needs to break up with me now or get the hell over it. The way he's been talking to me I should just assume we're over.But I dont wanna be. God. I dont know what I want anymore.All I know is I want him...Just him. It would be perfect if he didnt get mad so much. I dont even know how he cant tell me. Whenever I get mad I just turn up the music and kick something...I dont fuck up our relationship.Unless it's worth it. I donno, maybe he thinks everythings worth it. In my opion..I dont think it should be.Being depressed definitely isn't a reason to get mad. And that's what started most of this I think.But damn, Im ready to be happy again, with or without him. One maybe easier than the other. But I'm always gonna love that boy. Regardless of anything.