The following are answers to frequently asked questions.
Q. The 2-disk xwindow distribution is an excelent, fast, stable, efficient, and elegant GNU/linux distribution. but what can I do with it
A. Yes this is a good question and, one which we have pondered over long and hard. It has been used in many applications but our systems analysts have shown the optimal applications to be in the areas of engine de-coking, drain unblocking, and effluent digestion.
Q. FAQ's have been around for a long time but i wonder if they are really of any use to the regular user.
A. Yes this seems to be a very frequent question and one that needs to be answered.
Q. I have a type X system, and am not going to supply you with any details about core dumps, kernel msg's, error codes, specific hardware, or the sequence of usage leading up to the crash, can you fix the problem.
A. No fuck off and stop winding me up.
Q. I want to do X, and i am a fucking moron. Can you do it for me "NOW YOU BASTARDS"
A. This is one of the most frequent questions and the answer is this: "Everyone is a moron bumbling through life making countless mistakes and making it through by shear luck and perseverance. This said all is O.K. we have no problem with that, but when you start expecting others to do all the work for you, or complaining and getting mad at others mistakes then you become a fucking moron this we have problems with. If you want to do something start by searching google.com for information, work through the background stuff make sure you know all the facts then if you still need something beg others very very tactfully for help making the problem as easy to analyse as possible by giving all the problems and background in a concise and succinct manner."
Q. I am a headhunter looking for prospective employees, and want to send you badly defined technical querys to assess the technical knowledge of your staff in order to poach your company's best employees whilst simultaneously clogging your mail box with mail that brings no income to your company. What is the best way to do this.
A. We have many tools that can do this for you automatically, but unfortunatly we no longer have any employees for you to apply them to.
Q. I am a terrorist cell leader requiring an embedded system for automation of production of biological and chemical warfare agents. How can I implement this with 2-disk Xwindows?.
A. This is another very frequently asked question and one we have specialist knowledge in. The new Mungkie systems bioferment 2000 system has specialist drivers for integrating with many common bio culturing systems
Q. I have spent ten minutes reading your pointless and time wasting FAQ, and want to sue you for the time it has caused me to waste. Who should my lawyers contact with the summons.