AUKKT ARIET 21
Big Foot's Named Bob?
It was a cold winter night Ryan had been driving for hours to go see some relatives who were far off. He decided to pull off in a truck stop and take a rest. Derek driving back in the oposite direction decided to dot he same thing at the same stop.
They ran into eachother on the way to the rest room and begant o talk. When they got to the rest room it was locked and marked "out of order". "Looks like we're heading for the trees," said Derek. The far off words of Courtney rushed through the air "Pee like a champ!"
They both shook it off and headed into the woods. Picking separate trees (of course) they began to do their buissness. When suddenly they heard a sound in the woods. "Probly squrials" said Ryan. "Big squirel." said Derek. They began to head back to their cars when they heard it again. They both turned and peered into the dark woods. "Do you smell somthing?" asked Derek. "I didn't want to say anything cause I thought it was you." Ryan laughed. "Oh haha " said Derek. "I don''t know lket's go back to the car." said Ryan. "No no let's check it out." said derek.
So they headed beck into the woods. They heard aloud groan. It came from behind them. They turned and there right before them was Big Foot. Thee Big Foot. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" They screamed and they ran. Ryan ran smake into a branch close linning himself onto his back. Derek tripped over ryan's arm and fell flat on his face. They both scurried to get away but Big foot was near by. They ran until they came to a cluster of trees that was too thick to climb through. They back up against the trees and facedt he monster heading toward them.
"Do something!" Ryan said. "What?" REplied Derek "I don't know!' screamed back Ryan. "uh uh throw a rock at him!" Ryan bent down and picked up a peice of bark. It fluttered through the air for about three feet and then floated to the ground. "i said a rock!" screamed Derek. "I couldn't find one!" said Ryan.
They both starred as the terror lurked closer to them. "You do something!" said Ryan. "What Why?"asked derek
"Becasue I did something!"
"What did you do!"
"I attempted to knock him out"
"With what a feather?"
"It was bark!"
"It didn't work. I don't care!"
By this point the monster was standing directly infrotn of them. "I have family! I'm driving rto see them. Take him he already saw jhis family!" Said Rayn. "What? Oh gee thanks!" said Derek
Big foot groaned. "Damn people.." We're sorry!" the boys squelled in unison.
Big Foot shook his head in disgust. "You just dropped your damn keys! " He throught them down at ryan's knees (he was kneeling after all) "Geez can't even be polite any more. It's bad enough you people hunt me down with your camera's and funky groaning calls. i'm not stupid. And what;'s with the nick name? Huh? It's degrading! My name is Bob! and don't you forget it!" With that Big Foot walked awa and disappeared intot he dark forest.
Ryan loooked at Derek and Derek looked at Ryan. "Ah, so this was all your fault!" Derek proclaimed. Ryan passed out. After dragging Ryan about 20ft he awoke and they both decided to jut continue on their ways. Who would beleive them anyway.
The End
Moral: "Don't run from big harry helpers"
...
Responses:
dont lie,, they DIDNT PICK SEPERATE TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and those inconsiderate jerks,, bob was only trying to help. People now days. Nothing good about them. Nothing. and as for our little story time boys,, i think they are GAY. Moral of the story: dont run from big hairy helpers and DONT BE GAY—marla
I was amused by my words of "pee like a champ" flowing through the air...I never knew I had such an impact!! I think we need to market this skill of mine to make silly stories a world wide explosion! Oh wait, I'm not on staff nevermind CDR
wow that whole idea of them not picking different trees if just not right...ewwww CDRR
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So here it is the last of the stories to be based on real people... It's so sad I'm just going to have to cry...ok I'm done. Enjoy!
DO::U DYPTU 22
A Splendid Dinner Party
Princess Meagan smiled pleasantly at the array of dinner guests before here. They all sat at a long rectangular table. Meagan sat at the head. At the right around the table sat The Rock, a famous super hero, his side kick Pebbles, Ryan and Derek, two men famous for a big foot encounter, and her husband prince Jason(at the opposite head.) To her left sat Mary O. a "retired" thug, Sara, a woman who supposedly knew the meaning of life, Danny a male ballerina famous for performing in a tutu, and Lisa a substitute teacher from Hogwarts. Running in circles behind Meagan was her pet Pinky.
"I'm so glad you all could make it!" said Meagan. "It's sad though that Kiwi couldn't be here. She always has the most interesting stories to tell. And Peter will be running late of course." Pebbles shot a look at the Rock who simply said "heh heh"
Pinky went running past the table yapping. "She's such a lovely pet." Meagan smiled.
"I agree," said Pebbles.
Pinky stopped behind Mary O's chair and growled at her. Mary O. Turned and said "shoo shoo now." Pinky humphed and walked away.
"I must say," said Lisa "Of all the creatures I have encountered I just haven't found one quite like a Pinky."
"There isn't a creature quite like Bob either," said Ryan.
"Bob?"asked Jason.
"Big Foot,"whispered Derek "He's very offended by that harsh nickname."
"Oh you two act like he's your best friend," said the Rock. "I for one know how cowardly you acted."
"There is nothing wrong with being a coward." scoffed Pebbles
"Only in your case dear," said the Rock. a maid came out and placed a salad in front of each dinner guest. (Pinky had her own table in the corner) "I've hired some entertainment for tonight." said Meagan
"Ha, an insult!" announced Danny. "I could have easily performed for you."
"As could I dear,"said Jason "only I would certainly umm...err...expose less." Jason looked over at Danny.
"Do you have a problem with my tutus?" asked Danny.
"You have to admit it is quite absurd..."
"Absurd? You dare call me absurd?"
"Now now " broke in Lisa "don't make me silence the both of you. I can do that you know."
"I just thought some music would be nice." said Meagan. "I wonder where on earth Peter could be..."
"If you would uh excuse me I have to uh use the rest room." Said the Rock. He got up stepped right out stood in the open door way and took out a cell phone. Meagan's phone began to ring. The maid brought it. "Hello?" said Meagan
"Ya hey it's Pete. I don't think I'll be able to make it "said the voice onthe other line (and the Rock). "Oh but you must!" said Meagan. "But I uh got to umm.. feed the dog...?" the caller answered.
"Oh Pete you can make it. Come on!"
"Ok ok I'll be there shortly."Meagan hung up and the Rock retook his sit. Pebbles shook her head slowly"Idiot!" she said.
Sara smiling politely said "Don't be so cruel. Who is an idiot?"
"No ooooooooooone" said the Rock in a whined.
"Quite right" said Sara.
Pinky had finished her salad and resumed growling at Mary O. Mary O. sat tapping her salad fork and humming. "Hmmm hmmm Sheep go to heaven PinkYs go to hell!"
With that Pinky bit her. "Why you" Mary shouted" You deserve a swift kick in the head!"
"Don't you dare lay a toe on my Pinky Poo!" shouted Meagan. "She is sacred!" Pinky stood behind Meagan and stuck her tongue out at Mary O. "I'm sorry. "smiled Mary I lost my temper. It happens form time to time..." Sara the whole time seemed oblivious to the violence around her. She simply smiled and blinked and sighed peacefully.
The maid came around to collect dishes. "No no Let me" said Lisa. " I need the practice." Lisa pulled out her wand and mumbled some gibber gabber. All of the salad plates lifted and floated out of the room.
"That's amazing!" said the rock."you should teach it to me sometime."
"As if you need it!" said Lisa.
Sara sighed peacefully.
"If you don;t mind me asking," said Ryan "What is the meaning of life?"
Sara just shook her head. "I can't tell you. hehe"
"Why not?"
Sara just smiled "Wasn't the salad lovely?"
"So does anyone have some news they would like to share?" Meagan asked.
"Oh I do!" said Mary O. "I heard from a fellow thug, oh I mean uh, am old friend, that the famous designer Krisopher StePHON was buldged to death by one of his own purses! He was found bound by with one his fringe scarves! Can you imagine!?"
"Oh. He's the guy that designed my tutu!" Said Danny "Now where will I go to purchase tutus?"
"Maybe it's a sign that you should stop wearing them," said Jason.
"Are you implying I should dance nude?" asked Danny.
"NO!" The whole table shouted back...well except for Sara she just smiled pleasantly.
"uh.. maybe I should call Peter."said Meagan.
"Oh!"said the Rock "please excuse me there is someone to save! Pebbles you may stay this won't take long." He got up and ran away.
"Well I guess that;s what superheroes gotta do." said Lisa.
Just then Pete came strolling into the room.
"Pete!" Meagan said How did you get in here?"
"Oh I uh..."
"Idiot" Pebbles said again.
"Do you suffer from turrets?" asked Derek.
"Not often" said Pebbles. Peter took the Rock's seat and shrugged innocently.
"Grrrrr!' "GRR" GRRRRR" "GRRRRRRR"
Everyone turned and looked in the direction of Mary o. Her and Pinky were growling at eachother back and forth. After a few more grrs they felt every one's eyes on them. They each slid in one more grrr and Pinky backed away.Just then there was a ring at the door. The maid scurried off to get it as the butler brought in the main course.
After a few seconds the maid returned with a man and a trumpet. "Hi, I'm Jay Bear."
"Oh good the entertainment is here!" Meagan announced.
Pinky stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh no" said Pebbles "an attractive male!!!" The Pinky leaped across the table and ran head on to Jay. She leapedrigth into his arms. Jay was completely unprepared for this and fell back words, knocking himself out on the floor.
"Oh no I forgot!"said Meagan "Someone seize the Pinky. She'll need a tranquilizer!" Pebbles readily got up and pulled very hard to remove the pinky from the unconscious Jay Bear. Pebbles and the maid escorted the Pinky into another room.
"Have no fear!" shouted Danny "I will entertain!" Some where far off a High C was heard. Danny threw off his coat and revealed a brown tutu. He began to flutter around the floor. He leaped across the tabled and danced all around. About the time the chorus started in with "a damn tutu a damn tutu all he really wanted was a damn tutu." Danny suddenly froze in mid air.
"I'm sorry!" said Lisa "but I just couldn't take any more of that!" Suddenly Danny transformed into a puppy. He scurried around the room barking and leaping. "Uh Opps"said Lisa,"wrong pronunciation..." "You turned him into a Puppy!" shouted Pete.
In the next room you heard a high squeal. "PUPPY?????" "No wait you haven't been tranquilized!" shouted pebbles. Next things Pebbles and the Aid were in the dinning room chasing Pinky who was very excitedly chasing the frightened Danny Puppy. Meagan joined in the chase.
"Shouldn't you do something?" asked Ryan.
"Uh " Lisa shrugged "Let me think..."
"U h I really must be going!" shouted Pete. He ducked out of the room.
Sara sat smiley pleasantly. "What entertainment."
Jason reached out and grabbed the Danny Puppy. Mistake. Pinky quickly jumped into Jason's lamp in peruse of the puppy. "Awwwwww" said Pinky "sucha cute lil fella."
"DePupiFy!" shouted Lisa. Danny immediately transformed back into him self. "Ewww!" the Pinky jumped off quickie and ran to Meagan. "what the... Jason I didn't know you cared" said Danny. "Uh Get off!" said Jason and pushed hi off. "How did my show end" asked Danny. with that Peter walked back in and proclaimed "The rock is here!" Every one starred at him and then burst out into laughter. "What?" he asked. "IDIOT!" cried Pebbles. "guys don't think Pete is feeling well I'm going to take him home." Pebbles dragged Pete out of the room waving.
"I feel a little woozy my self" said Danny "For some reason I feel like chewing on sneakers. Is that normal? I'll se you all thanks for dinner." HE coughed grabbed his coat and exited.
"Well it seems I have caused enough damage." said Lisa. "I'm am truly sorry. I cou;dn't stay late anyway. I must be getting back to the school. The dinner was lovely. I'll send an owl" Lisa exited through the chimney with flew powder.
"heh heh. I have TA meeting to get t" said Mary O.
"TA?" asked Jason.
"Thugs Anonymous" Mary O. strolled out growling at Pinky one last time. Pinky snapped at her atop the chest of the unconscious Mr.Bear.
"We should be off to"said Derek
"Yes, we were going to track down Bob and give him a thank you card." said Ryan.
"Good Luck" waved Sara. "I should go to. I promised to have a night cap of hot coco with Joe the penguin."
"Quite right" said Meagan "Good bye."
"Well that was interesting." said Jason
"It always is." said Meagan. "Though I wonder whatever happened to the rock..."
"Duty calls" said Jason "Let's round up the Pinky."
The End
Moral: Keep a loving eye on your Pinkies Insert own moral here
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Responses:
Princess Meagan hu lol thats fun I loved this story, i especially loved the part about the lovely mr baer entering in. I think that there should have been a part in the story where the pinky dragged the unconcious attractive male into a dark corner. Im sure if that would have been in the story, then the pinky would not have been snapping at Mary O the whole evening! Im still enjoying the morals to the stories. It ads so much more to them when a life lesson can also be learned! Marla the great
I love you very dearly but you have lost what little mind you had to start with I think. I love you –Jason
Mmmm....sneakers—danny
I love this story! It cracked me up, especially when Pinky chased Jay Bear! Tee hee! I also love how Pebbles and the Rock are fighting! Especially since "The Rock" would actually do something stupid like trying to be two people at the same party! I loved everything about it! I also loved the Hogwarts substitute teacher, Lisa! Go Lisa! I LOVE THIS STORY! Keep up the good work Meagan! ~Krista the cowboy chaser~
I think this is my favorite silly story ever!! I think there should be another reunion like this one! I'll even help write it...oh wait I'm not on staff I can't nevermind CDR
I think marla should have been given a hot male, but she's lieing about wanting to take him into a dark concer! We all know it's the woods that get her going! Jason is being an ass again, you were smarter at three years of age then he will ever be!!! CDRR
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