THE END!
Responses from SS1:
you are such a nut...but I love you!!!!!! kisses!! ---Courtney
Oh MY GOD...... I Have a RETARD for a Girlfriend............!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I love her so it's okay. --Jason
You mean you sent me this very scary e-mail not just once but twice AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL --Jason
jason's an ass for calling you a retard...I'm going to kick him Courtney the determined responder of responses
Um, that's interesting......bad monkeys. They should be spanked. Who's up for spanking the monkeys with me? -kyla
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Hey My English class was canceled today so instead of writing an in class essay I'll be writing to you. Then I will go to be tortured by Agnes of God for my Theatre paper....
illy Story 2:
Roberto the Buzzard
There once was a buzzard name Roberto. Who would upon request would bellow. HE was loud and obnoxious and of course very rude. He was mean to every one he met. HE stomped on the daffodils and kicked ground hogs that went scampering by. He threw pebbles at birds trying to learn how to fly. Soon the whole Buzzard society (and those surrounding it) hated Roberto. They banned him from their colony. Roberto decided to seek revenge and make his own colony to take over the Buzzard's colony and he would be the king the reigned over all. So he called up George Bush.
Bush was glad to hear from one of his long time pals and told Roberto to fly to Washington. HE would give him some good tips to unjustly take over. On the way Roberto and was hit and killed by a Publicity plane advertising Spam: The stuff nightmares are made of. The Buzzard colony upon hearing the news rejoiced and bought much Spam. Only they died to because the Spam was bad for their digestive systems. This was sad.
There are three morals to this tragic and horrifying story. 1. Don't deal with Bush. 2. Don't eat Spam and 3. Don't name your children Roberto, no matter how much they look like a ground hog kicking Buzzard
Responses to SS2:
hahahah good story babe! you
Meagan, That story was GREAT! hehehe I loved it!--Derek
Hey that was almost funny. But not quite.jj cute cute - Jason
My personal fav moral of this story is don't eat spam!! I think that is one to live by! Although it is a life goal to throw spam at a car...some day my dream will come true...*kisses* Courtney the determined responder
Jason's being an ass again, I just don't think I'm going to like any of his responses CRDR
Those morals are truly touching. I will never name my child Roberto now. Thank you for that PSA.-kyla
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I'm thinking of re-titleing these stupid stories instead of silly stories... Oh well try to enjoy and protect your IQ....
Silly Story 3:
Joe's Happy Place
There once was a crazy penguin named Joe who always wandered around with the most bizarre look on his face. He was ALWAYS smiling. He was nice to EVERYONE. Even the killer whales that tried to eat him. He would simply shake their fins and ask if they'd like any salt. While the whale would float confused Rico the over grown Atlantic sea rat would have to come save him.
Nobody liked Rico. Rico was stinky. He was also the only kind of his species. However Joe was always nice to Rico. Rico liked Joe. One day after saving Joe from a polar bear (Joe had been asking it to come for tea) Rico asked Joe why he was so damned nice all the time. Joe simply smiled largely and blinked twice. Rico took this to mean that Joe was nearly off his rocker and should be locked up in a mental institution.
So Rico had Joe locked up. It's what all good friends would do. Joe liked the mental institution and really enjoyed bouncing off the rubber walls. The little Penguin would bounce from wall to wall reciting poems and singing. His favorite song to sing was " Daisy Daisy give me your answer true! I'm half crazy all for the love of you! SquawK!"
Rico would visit Joe often and bring him chocolate chip and salmon cookies. Nobody understood Joe. Nobody ever will understand Joe. Not even Rico. But that doesn't bother Joe. Joe is a very happy bird. Living in his happy place of flying salmon and tweeting canneries. We should all be like Joe. Find your happy place and love the Ricos of the world.
RESPONSES to SS3:
Rico the over grown Atlantic sea rat,, This Character needs to be used more often!!! I LIKE IT!!! More stories about buzzards also, that is a funny word,, buzzard. AHAHAHAH! You need to come up with lots of interesting characters, and I will add these stories to my Pisser Pamphlet edition! :*:*:*:*:* -- - Marla
YOU SCARE ME A LOT – Peter
my god that was actually really really funny...terrifing...but still funny. this scares me -- Jason
I like people or peguins that are always smiling!! They're fun to be around. I always like people of penguins that are nice to everyone for insance giving the people they love jobs at their "jokes" mailing list. Courtney the hinting
peter is not being his rock self if that story dissappointed him I agree with pinky, buzzard is a funny word...and I'm scared to find out what her pisser pamplet edition is Just to let you know this was two responses because I responded to two different people's responses I just was trying to save you mailbox the pain CDRR
Aww, I love Joe! LOL, I can just picture a penguin bouncing around a rubber room singing to himself. That is most amusing......-kyla
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I'm counting this as my time to practice typing. Anyway Courtney honey I love you too! that's why I send these! Any way OK every one I'm keeping a file of all the SS's and I'm keeping any responses that have been sent so please feel free to send me your thoughts! Also check out his web site when you get a chance: http://www.funnyname.com/ P.S. This story is dedicated to Marla.
SillY StorY 4:
The Life and Trials of Rico: A Sea Rat's Tale
Rico was born on a really sunny rainy morning. His mama was a seal and his popa was a rat. Rico had a face that only a mother could love. (And she even questioned why she loved it sometimes...) All the sea pups made fun of Rico for having big ears and claws. They wouldn't let him in on any seal pup games. All the rats made fun of Rico because of his obtuse size and flippers. Rico was an over grown Atlantic Sea Rat. The only one of his kind.
When Rico was 2 his father was eaten by a snow dog. At age 3 Rico fell in love with the same snow dog only to learn her past and eat her. At age 4 Rico was forced out of the seal community and forced to roam the Atlantic Ocean for the rest of his days.
That's when Rico met Joe a crazy Penguin. With in only a few Months Rico had Joe comitted. It's what all good friends would do.
After Joe was commited, Rico had a lot of free time on his uh.. flippy claw things... so he decided to travel the world. He soon found a place known as the Saharrah desert. He had always been sure that the natives not see him. They were always so critical of his unique beauty. But he was accidently seen by some over head buzzards. The buzzards chased Rico. Rico went into hidding and got lost. He could not find his way back to the ocean. He did find however that desert creatures were more open minded and excepting of Rico's um uniqueness. HE really liked it there. He wrote Joe a letter explaining it would be awhile till their next visit. Joe of course being happy all the time was thrilled for Rico. Rico was very happy in the desert and took on the wonderful habit of buzzard pounceing. Oh what a delight! To this day this is where Rico persides. (Sanse his biannual visits to joe.)
NOTE: Joe the crazy penguin took on the habbit of writing "Rico the over grown atlantic sea rat pounces buzzards" all over his wall and then acting out the act.
The End
RESPONSES to SS4:
bravo bravo!!!! Couldnt have wished for a better story!! I love rico the over sized atlantic sea rat!!! hes my hero!! -- marla
You are so mental but i love you --Jason
How did the seal and rat mate...especially since the rat of the male in the situation!! The thought alone scares me...I'm going to have night dreams for the rest of my life. Courtney the nightmarer
Marla crack me up...she have a over sized sea rat as her hero...just remind me that if she ever calls me her hero to be frigthen Jason needs to shut his hole CDRR
Rico isn't nice. I don't like him. He locked up the poor happy penguin. At least he was finally accepted by some other animals too.-kyla
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SOmetimes I wonder how I am proud at all about these little things but here goes P.S. If you've got some time to kill goto www.zone.com it's got lots of free non downoading games to play Have fun!
Silly Sotry 5:
A Lesson from Homer
If Homer were leperchon he would live at the end of a rainbow. Homer is not a leperchon. He lives in a hole. If homer were a unicorn he would frolic through the mist. Homer is not a unicorn. He streaks through the open weeds. If Homer were a monkey he would eat banana pie. Homer is not a monkey. Though he occasionally spanks one....
Homer is a hermit living is a spacious but dirty hole in the ground in the woods. He lives all alone. He talks to mainly himself and sometimes to his dead 3rd cousin twic removed. Homer passes time by countin his fleas and picking berries in the nude. Homer often suffers from poisin ivy in unmentionable areas, acid reflex, constant-blond-day syndrom and gingavitus. The highlight of Homer's day is when he remembers he can count to three.
Homer wasn't always the poor unfortunate, s.o.b. that he is today. No Homer use to be popular. Homer used to be sexy. Now he is only sexy in the eyes of pot bellied pigs.
What was it that changed Homer's life so drastically? Was it his addoiction to drugs? No. Was it his addoction to alcohal that lost him his job? --- No. Was it the loss of his dear third cousin twice removed that drove him to insanity? ---No. Was it that bad can of spam he had a few months back?---Maybe. What was it that really put him in his slump?
Could it be that Homer liked to have sex with trees? Yes, boys and girls, I beleive it is. Humping trees can lead to nothing else. Don't be like Homer boys and girls. Don't make the same mistake that Homer made. Even if have to burn down the entire rainforest to keep from humping trees, so be it. You self worth is more important. If you feel the need to have sex with a tree,and if your new favorite saying is "hump a Stump" you should seek help. We can help you.
Call 1-800-TRE-HUMP
Please take a lesson from Homer the pot smoking unemployed alcohaltic who eats spam, boys and girls, don't make the biggest mistake of your life over a tree. Everything will be ok. We're here for you. Don't Hump a tree.
RESPONSES:I think this story gives a good example of what happens when tree huggers go too far!! Beware of future generations - Don't Hump Trees!!! Courtney the non-tree humping
there's no one to respond to!! this is so wrong!! how lazy!!! I hope the gnomes were sent out after this story CDRR
Homer is quite a character. I can see how humping trees would leave one sexually frustrated enough to spank the monkey every so often. Or give someone poison ivy in unmentionable regions......Anywho, I think Homer the retarded pot-smoking alcoholic hermit who lives in a hole in the ground is someone we could all learn from. And where are the other responses to this story? Did they wander off to other responses for a little chat? -kyla
Respond!: Meagan84@charter.net