There are three morals to this tragic and horrifying story. 1. Don't deal with Bush. 2. Don't eat Spam and 3. Don't name your children Roberto, no matter how much they look like a ground hog kicking Buzzard. – Roberto the Buzzard
Find your happy place and love the Ricos of the world. – Joe’s Happy Place
Please take a lesson from Homer the pot smoking unemployed alcohaltic who eats spam, boys and girls, don't make the biggest mistake of your life over a tree. Everything will be ok. --- A Lesson From Homer
Insert own moral here. – Fifi and Bofo Go to the Fair
Love your Pinky—How to Care for Your Pinky
Be kind to your befriended bum, he may save your life—The Rock
Even the skankiest of deeds can be replaced with love—Everybody Loves Kiwi
Always listen to your food and the advice of crazy penguins.—Turkey Surprise: A Thanksgiving Speacial
Never take your love pig wraslin' less she be a pig wrasler true" The Second Son
"Not all actors are gay" – the second Son
Even Thug's have feelings....somewhere..... – A Little Thug Named Mary .
Always trust a turtle over your own instincts – A Little Thug Named Mary
Get a damn tutu and happiness will come to you but acceptance may not follow – Male Ballerinas on Parade
Don't lend Adam Anderson your Underwear – A Hogwarty Experience
Impulse Buy, especially fish – Sara Visits Joe
Don't run from big harry helpers – Big Foot’s Name is Bob?
Keep a loving eye on your Pinkies – A Splendid Dinner Party
Rob some people and fly to the Bahamas and die happy. – Melty the Snowman
Avoid short high voiced dentist who refer to their nurses as "Hey ho" and greet you as "Wasup Bitch" – Dudley the Deranged Elf
Some times getting other's drunk does pay off, but only if you have a shinny nose.— Rudolph’s Revenge
all you ever need is a little love, $20 and a new hat. – How Marcy Saved Christmas
Nothing lasts forever but somethings can be stretched...espeacially if you have a gun. -- One More Time Marco
Remembering late is better than forgetting. – The New Year’s Bug
Streak through the open weeds with friends. – The Streakers are Blowing in the Wind
Muddy Galoshes can lead to true love – Happy Sappy
A book in the hand is better than a book slammed on your head. – The Evil Book Thief
Everything has an answer, even if it is wrong. But remeber all answers are right. It just depends on the question... – Questions and Answers
No bitchy chicken or drunken bar man should ever be able to tell you what you can and cannot do. – Betsy the Cow
If you wish to go to the moon, plan to jump over it. – Betsy the Cow
Pay attention or you will fall right through life and onto someone's tongue. – The Life of a Snowflake: a Drama
Seek for love in plastic and find meaningless sex – The Plastic Princess
Little hair trimmings in sensitive places are worth the all natural look and a bad attorney. -- My Hairdresser is a Nudist
Respond to Silly Stories – The Gnomes
If you join the circus leave the rabid monkey behind--- Marooned and Left to the Cicus
Thee spend Three hours in a tree and come down with a new out look on life. – The World according to Parkly
Smile big in the face of bud news.—Your Local News for Jan. 23
Just because you're invisible doesn't mean you should litter.—See Bill’s Story
Never fall in love with the brush thieven cousin of your true love, unless you are willing to take a cruise.—The Three Loves of Byron
Robbery is justified when slushies are involved.—The Seagulls That Robbed the Seven Eleven
Always give caffeine to a crazy man. The Sad Adventures of Cat Man
Beware the Blind Mice that see all. – Nursery Rhyme Remix
It's ok to disagree with an aardvark. A is for Ardvark
Don't bite your eye when it's open. The Absentminded Mr.Sandman
To ensure a long lasting relationship make love on someone else's birthday cake. – The Love of Aphradite and Bob
Always follow cats into elevators if you seek true love. – Love in an Elevator
Marry quickly the person you've just met and have known forever, but only if a life was saved. – A Classic Love Story
You'll always find your way home no matter how bad you smell. – Pup Adventures
Monkey flinging is good for the heart and soul. – The Love of a Monkey Flinging Tiger King
A dandelion a night, keeps the cats all in fright. – Spunky the Courageous
Don't date men named Lola who use to date your alien loving fiancée. – The Tragically Happy Love Song
There's a reason super hero's wear capes, it's the defining line between hero and weirdo. – The Naked Hero
If you are avoiding the cops, travel with friends – Joe’s Almost Accidental Escape
Store your marshmallows in the basement – It’s Raining Marshmellows
Your body odor may not make you the life of the party, but it may in deed save your life. – Dirty Birdie
Be safe on Spring Break or Chico the saggy naked and very old life guard will have to rescue you from Bubba and beer. – Bucky’s Spring Break
seek gold at the end of a circle and live long quest as blond looking for corner in same circle. – Attack of the Leprochons
Hump in the weeds and everyone will see, steal a gun and run and no one cares. – A Day with Guy the Nature Guy
If your ever in trouble, take your clothes off and steal a plane. – See Bill Run
When a Term Paper starts talking to you, listen. You never know what may come. – The Term Paper Revolt
Swim farther than any, get kicked around real good, make a few bribes, and you will be set for life. – Turtle Luck
Cows only love you for your fruit so long, and then you will run into a tree. – 72 Degrees
He who believes this story should move to the island, Apral Fulls. – Apral Fulls
It is wise for he who is covered in monkey poop to jump off cliffs.—Nature Guy’s Safari
11 is company, 2's a crowd. – A Walk in the Park
IT may cost to get a fat man up, and it may cost to get him down, but neither is worth the incriminating pictures you'll receive for letting him be. – Santa’s Escape
It is corrupt to 69, but dirty to 6 and 9. – Sixty Nine
Get yourself a "quiet one" - Why Librarians Shhh
If there is a bird watcher in red shoes outside your window, you may be the bird. - My Red Shoes
Never under estimate the power of a short little angry man in green. - The Mystery of the Internet
Always throw out at least some of your veggies. - Muffin’s Fine Dining
Nakedness is fun, but pink lace is more socially acceptable -My Pink Pajamas
Experimenting with unknown substances is tasty – The Alien and the Cookie Jar
When your depressed exercise your right to revenge. --Breaking Up is Hard to Do
When you get board with your life, run around naked, and become a porn star. - The Beautiful Mental Patient
If you chase tail pipes all your life, and one day one starts chasing you, run away, very fast. –Slappy and Smacks
Naughty favors and trains will only get you so far. –See Jill’s Past
Don't hit on penguins when there is a lonely poplar bear right around the corner. –Guy the Nature Guy Visits the Artic
When you see the idle of your affection, don't forget to flap. –Cranky Cupid
When hunting friendly hotties, beware of Elmor's glue. –Thwarted by a Drunken Cupid
If your left shoe doesn't match your right shoe, don't blame God. Blame your grandpa -God Said So
Beware a harden bikini top hidden within the mud, for humiliation and someone named Tiny are sure to follow. –A Muddy Tragedy
Be careful what you touch in a library, a naked cowboy could have been riding there. – The Best Librarian
In moments of fear, under the covers is the safest place to be. – bump
Watch out for tumble weeds, or you may miss a very romantic moment. –Lovers of the Wild West
Let Morgan design your house or you will accidentally be eaten by a wolf. – The Charm of Floor Joist
Always share plans of world domination with bumbling drunks. – World Domination
Next time you're in the mood for an adventure, try jumping out of a plane. You never know who will end up singing to you. – A Rescue and a Song
Don't ride bulls in windy weather, but always have one handy if you need to find your hat or revolt. – A Bull of A Story
Always trust something cute and fluffy, even if it wants to harm you. – Lessons in Judo
You may think the prince is in a toad, but he’s really far, far away inside your computer. – British Love Bytes
Land in Stuffing. – The Strangest T-Day
If someone doesn't believe you, kick his or her butt and blame it on your invisible friend. – Confessions: Kimmy, Entry 27
Order Out. – Dining Etiquette
If you wanna win try not to have Barbie shoved up your ***-Your Local News For December 9, 2003
Being thrown off a roof just may be the route to true happiness. Chippy’s First Flight
Don't worry, call a fairy. – Final Fairies
familiar faces and familiar places can lead to trouble.- Reoccurring Characters
Bad memory and poor judgment will lead to sleeping in a barn. –Santa Claus is an Asshole
The formula to success lies in stolen sunglasses, Hollywood, and a scantly love affair. – Famous Fred
To find perfect harmony, take a walk. –A Concert in the Park
Live with penguins whenever necessary. – The Last Meeting of the PSA
No matter how many people mistake you for a trout, don’t be a greedy bastard – Greedy Beluga
Chocolate is good for your love life. – Chocolate Dipped Coconut Covered Cinnamon Balls
A boob in the hand is one happy man. – The Boob Connection
Drink less Decafe and have more scantly love affairs.- As the Coffee Grinds
Drunken, wet, naked happiness is the secret to success. – Rules to Spring Break
When the time comes to be tumbleweed or a scantly clad cowboy, be a scantly clad cowboy. – A Western Love Poem