Apparantly I'm good...

Live By It

• Don't think of it as a date, but if he grabs you and kisses you, let him.
• Don't waste time waiting for Mr. Right, go out and grope Mr. Wrong.
• If it acts like a dumb ass and smells like a monkey... it's probably your blind date.
• You are pizza. Sex is ice cream. Men are children. They're all excited about the pizza until they see the ice cream.
• Anything can be thoght into a hole, rationalized away and forgotten in a week.
• The only thing you should regret, is wasting time regretting.
• There's always enough time for everything, unless you're anal about being on time.
• Being late isn't a fault, it's a state of security and relaxation.
• If it scares you, make it a goal to do it.
• You will never understand love, but you will think you've got it figured out at least three times. Before you fall. After you fall. And when you fall out.
• People aren't perfect, they're just perfect for each other.
• Patience is not a virture, it's a skill. One that is ok to be bad at sometimes.
• A friend will stab you in the front. An enemy will stab you will you're not looking. A lover will stab you in the back, rip out your heart and then gloat.
• Goals can be ahcheived. Plans never go as planned. And if life can suprise you, it will.
• Think of the least likely place you will be in ten years, and then expect it to happen in five.
• If life is a road, someone should call highway patrol fast!
• Don't think of it as lieing. Think of it as adjusting and only if it's really for your own good.
• Anything is Possible. ANYTHING.
• The only thing you can't do, is can't and thats only if you try really hard.
• Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and most things are better than what you think.
• I beleive in love. It's a worthy adversary.
• Growing up is not something you can avoid, but it is soemethign you can ration.
• The things you are certain don't exisist, are the things you walk by every day without seeing.
• Procrastination is the quickest way to free time.

Tips from the past

• Don't use publice restrooms.
• Don't swim with sharks.
• Be a good citizen. Don't liter, dont loiter, don't walk on the grass and always carry a gun
• women are to penises as rich people are to horses, they know how to ride them just fine but dont ask them how to take care of them.

more advice

• Love is not what you jump off of or where you land, it is the leap
• If life were easy, you'd probably be even more bored.
• There is nothing wrong with life's lemons.
• Opposites attract for a reason. If they didn't the whole world would be off tilter.