We're Pickin Wedgies....

Hey all! What is with scented tissues? I mean really I feel like a flower is being shoved up my nose. Oh they call them perfumed...what scent is this... Hey my tissues were made in Turkey! That's interesting... damn now I need to sneeze. Ok I’m in a mood. Let’s initiate Mike! That sounds fun. It may be a bit odd, but hey, I'm sleepy.

Silly Story 92

Lessons In Judo

Mike sat crossed legged on the floor with his cat Baxter, the coolest cat ever, in his lap. He was pondering questions of life. “Why does the world turn in that direction?” “How many men can I throw with one hand” “When’s dinner?” and “Why does everyone think I’m a skank?”

Shortly there after, he was called to dinner.

Later that day he was practicing Judo in his back yard. He was standing on a not so mysterious burn mark in the grass. (Let’s just say things went boom. And he did it.) While concentrating hard on the fine form of Judo, Mike was approached by a bunny rabbit. At first he didn’t notice. He was concentrating. But then he heard a strange little voice proclaim, “I could sooo kick your ass.” Alas, Mike noticed the rabbit.

At first he laughed. There was no way a rabbit could be speaking to him. And if it were, there was no way it could kick his ass. So Mike shooed at the rabbit to go away. The rabbit simply leaned onto it’s hind legs, and moved it’s front leg in such a way it appeared to be angrily shaking it’s fist. (If it had a fist to shake.) Now this was a sight. Mike was quite taken aback. “Are you gonna let me kick your ass, or just stand here all day “hoing” and “haing?” said the rabbit. Mike simply starred at the rabbit with a look on his face that cannot just simply be described. “Excuse me?” he asked.

“I am a great great reincarnated descendent of Dr. Jigoro Kano. I could have you on your back in a second flat. So get your powder puffed little tail over here.”

Mike pfffffed at the rabbit and again attempted to shoo it away. “I’m only trying to be fair here,” said the rabbit, “Now get yourself into position.”

Mike did not believe in abusing animals. Even smart mouthed mystical reincarnated talking ones. However this one was starting to get on his nerves. So, more so to humor the cute fluffy magical being, Mike prepared himself.

Unfortunately not well enough. The following five minutes, Mike would have his ass kicked by a rabbit. It would prove to be one of the most humiliating moments of his life. Lucky for him, no one would believe it. When the beating was through, the rabbit decided to fill Mike in on a few tips. Help him train. Surprisingly the rabbit was the best teacher Mike had ever had. He transformed Mike into the second best Judo master alive. (Second of course to the rabbit) He even helped him answer some of those nagging questions. Like why the world turns the way it does. And how many people Mike could throw. Unfortunately Mike never found out why everyone thought he was a skank, but it was a beautiful friendship just the same.

The End

Moral: Always trust something cute and fluffy, even if it wants to harm you.

RESPONSES:That is so cute!!! I love rabbits, unless I have to rabbit-sit for the weekend because then they are just pains...but anyway... Cool story, I love martial arts so this story KICKED ASS (literally, unfortunately for Mike). -kendra

The whole "ass getting kicked by a rabbit" thing reminds me of last year on Gilmore Girls when Jess got a black eye from a swan. Does anyone else watch this show? Just me? Okay then! -Roxanne

Every bunny was kung foo fighting....thier paws were fast as lightning... Danny

YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!! mike is a skank!!!!! this was a wonderful wonderful story mike, you are a whore, and the rabbit kicked your ass :) hahahahahahahah i think you should sit down and think about what makes you so skanky, and maybe make some changes Angel of Innocence,,, the ONLY ONE LEFT(marla)

Hey All- Great story Meg! It just goes to show that talking animals sometimes know a thing or two about life. Way to go! Sorry about getting behind on my responses. I'm currently working on them. Love Always, Lisa the incredibly tired and ready for Thanksgiving break.

ummm...talking bunnies? I think you may need more sleep love you Courtney the soon to go to class

Wow. I am glad that are little fluffy Judo masters out there to help us when we need help training. That is always a good thing to know. Sarah

I do not know this mike character but I know how he feels when it comes to getting your ass kicked by a bunny. Good story Meagan, Love Morgan

Hi, everyone. How's it going? I thought this story was....interesting. It reminded me of the killer rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but after reading Roxanne's response, I can see how it would remind you of the GG Jess/swan incident. Meagan, did you get the idea for this from that one Flash cartoon? -Kyla

No! In fact that cartoon was one of the farthest things from my mind. I just thought a rabbit would be humorous! hehe love yas, Meagan

Now thats funny. The same thing happened to me last week. I hate it when those Ass Kickin rabbits cross my path I always lose. Anyway Meagan keep up the great work. -Brian

Oh my gosh! I loved this story! I could just imagine the rabbit, and I was dying with laughter! Good story Meagan! Poor MIke, he had to get his ass kicked in order to learn why he is a SKANK. I seriously find the rabbit hilariously...all I think about were the Asian cats on the movie Cats and Dogs ( and when they did all that marshall arts crap. I know some of you know what i am talking about!). Keep up the good work...Morgan, feel better!! ~Krista the cowboy lover

Great stuff, keep up the good work! -Ryan W

93

Hey there everyone, I do really apologize for not being on top of this silly story thing. I've been busy busy busy... ok and I've been going out and rolling around in nature and getting shot in the ass. Fun! So here we go, I will now initiate Kristen, Jim, and Roxanne. This is not so much a creative gesture as it is an I'm-a-big-lazy-bum-and-Thanksgiving-is-right-around-the-corner thing. But I'll make it work :-D (again this will be longer due to the 3 story lines colliding)

Silly Story 93

British Love Bytes

"Prologue" Off in a land far, far away but not to far from Britain there lived a King. King Reber had been blessed with two daughters and no sons. While most chauvinistic male rulers would be upset, this King was not. He loved his daughters very much. However, while he was not completely chauvinistic he did feel that his daughters should be married off. And soon. While the King did worry about the fact that one of his daughters was in fact the devil, he had no worries about marring off Kristen, the good and pure daughter.

It is a little known fact that Prince Henry and Prince William have a very attractive half brother. So attractive that they keep him a secret, because otherwise they would lose all the attention. In order to keep him a secret and still marry Prince Jonathan to a princess, the royal family decided it would best to allow him to marry some one who was a princess of a very little known area.

Since King Reber was a very good friend of a cousin thrice removed, and no one wanted to marry the devil, Kristen became the bride to be of Prince Jonathon. And of course, as it is most obviously expected, Princess Kristen did not want to marry Prince Jonathon. Even if he was one of the most attractive men in the world and she would get her own little part of Britain. And so it only logically follows that a drum playing peasant named Jim, and an American tourist named Roxanne would here come into play.

"Chapter One: The Drum" In a land far, far away, living not to far from the Castle of the kingdom lived a semi-frustrated but happy peasant named Jim. Jim was walking home from a celebration in honor of the fact that Princess Kristen was to be married off. He had pretended to care, enjoyed some interesting and healthy organic beverages, danced very little, and began his walk home. He decided to take a short cut through the dark and mystical woods that surrounded his part of the town for no particular reason, than a whim. IF ya wouldn't know it, he came across a strange looking instrument that had been discarded off along side the trail. Jim was very interested in many different types of drums and what not. He was also educated on such things, but after examining the drum for awhile, he found it was like no other he had ever seen or heard of. He called about to see if anyone had dropped it. After a few seconds he decided to take it home. He could always report it to the Dark Mystical Forest Lost and Found Association in the morning.

Meanwhile, King Reber's bad daughter was pacing her room. In walked a very drunken deliveryman. He of course had come to grovel for he had lost the item (eh hem the mystical drum) he was to deliver some where off in the woods. She of course had him thrown off her balcony, and unlike most stories, he was found almost immediately. Unfortunately with a broken jaw unable to speak and sent to the hospital.

"Chapter two: International Party Goer" Same Place, same night, same party, Roxanne a wonderfully peppy American was having a blast. She was on a trip around the world, for a paper she was doing for a class back in Illinois. She had managed to convince some old rich couple to fund her trip saying it was not only essential to her paper, but to her education as a person. She had ended up at this party tonight because she had been chased out of Britain for stalking Prince William. She had just barely escaped clutching a pair of his boxers. It wasn't long before she had come across the celebration and decided to celebrate her own escape. Although it did bring her much sorrow that she would not be able to go back to Britain for some time.

While at the party, and being an observant little tourist, Roxanne couldn't help but notice a very sad looking girl towards the front center of the party. Either because she feeling very friendly or because the evil sister had spiked the punch she was drinking Roxanne decided to go be friendly.

Over the course of cookies (and not so fortunately, more punch) Roxanne discovered that this girl was Princess Kristen and that she was going to be forced to marry a very attractive Prince Jonathon. Roxanne, who of course thought that would be a wonderful thing, tried to cheer her up. They spent the rest of the night partying in Kristen's room drinking waaaaay to much punch and talking of men.

"Chapter Three: Revenge By Boom Boom" Jim awoke the next morning before dawn because he recognized an opportunity when he saw it. The night before, when he arrived home Jim had practiced on the drum. He ended up playing for about 2 hours. He only stopped because he received an angry call from his landlord telling him to do so. (His landlord lived nearby.) Ever since Jim had lived there his landlord had had a quarter collector on the dryer. So Jim was forced to pay for using the dryer twice. (It was included in utilities yet he had to put in quarters to dry his clothes.) For this reason, he dried all his clothes on a clothesline in his room in protest. He had not been able to convince the landlord to remove the extra charge. But apparently the drum Jim had found grated on the landlord's nerves. Since they had a very special contract, Jim could not be kicked out of his home for playing music. So at dawn Jim would start playing the drum and refuse to stop until the quarter collector was removed.

"Chapter four: Love by Boom Boom" It was just before dawn and Kristen and Roxanne were still awake talking about their perfect man. Kristen had gotten on her computer and started up her SiMs game to show Roxanne Exactly what her ideal man would be. Just as the sun began to rise the perfect SiM man was completed. Just off in the distance the girls heard a very strange drumming. Then suddenly a magical wisp captured the computer. There was a bright light and Kristen’s SiM came to life. In the flesh. He was quite wonderful.

“Chapter five: The Plan” King Reber was thrilled to find that Kristen had found true love. But of course refused to do thing one about it. Go figure. Luckily he wasn’t a jackass, and didn’t banish Kristen’s new man out of the land. So they formulated a plan. Meanwhile the evil sister had of course found out about Kristen’s love. She “politely” inquired as to where he came from. She heard about the drumming, and being that she was evil but not a nincompoop she put 2 and 2 together. So she set out to follow the drumming, quite luckily not till after Kristen, Roxanne, and the still yet to be named lover. So they found Jim first and thanked him and so forth, he of course continued drumming the whole time. They told him of their plan.

“Chapter six: Ah” The next day Princess Kristen married Prince Jonathon. Princess Kristen looked nothing like what she did the day before. She also now requested that she be called Roxanne. Prince Jonathon also seemed to like the new princess better than he did the one from the day before. The stupid little peasants accepted this for what it was. Lots of plastic surgery. They were wrong. But most peasants are. Although, everyone could have been so agreeable because of the “traditional” mystical drum music played by peasent Jim.

If it isn’t perfectly obvious, Roxanne and Kristen agreed to switch places. That was all there really was to it. Sadly enough. Jim played the magic drum and everyone agreed that this was normal and right. The evil sister arrived at Jim’s at about the same time as the angry landlord. But Jim and the girls were already gone. So the evil sister, thinking that the landlord was Jim, turned him into a toad. Quite fortunately drum could only be played by the first person to play it: Jim. After discovering that the drum was not there, and that the landlord was not Jim, the sister was quite angered. However the person the evil sister had thrown from the balcony was able to write out that she in fact was guilty. And since they finally had something to put her away for the sister was arrested. And put away in another far, far away land not far from the South Pole.

“Chapter Seven: Finally!!!!!!!” Roxanne and Jonathan lived happily ever after. Roxanne was even allowed back into Britain. And dedications to Pub (Roxanne’s alter ego) became popular. This entails driving on the left side of the road. In America, this caused some problems. Kristen and Yet To Be Named also lived happily ever after. Although there were times when she wished she had given him a few more brain points… IT turned out that NO ONE liked Jim’s Landlord so King Reber let Jim have the house and land. The first thing Jim did was remove the quarter collector and dry some things. He to lived quite pleasantly ever after. In a lake far, far away but not too far from Jim’s, a toad was charging other toads extra flies to sit on his lilly-pad. He was later eaten by a large bird. No one cared.

The End

Moral: You may think the prince is in a toad, but he’s really far, far away inside your computer.

RESPONSES:

:) wonderful story meggie... Kinda like a fairy tale!! it should be added to the list of magical fairy tales ever written :) i think technology has a place in fairy tales, i think im going to play sims and create the perfect male now!!!!mmmm!!! :* Pinky

Can you really create the perfect man on the sims? Because if you can then can you get rid of men on the sims as well? Because there are some pesky ones? Can you also make alterations to already living men? This sounds fun, so how do I do this? Good story Meagan, and i'm glad Roxanne got to steal boxers. I know I enjoy stealing them. Love ya lots Morgan

Meagan~ Yay for Kristin. Although Sims people are a smidge to whiny for me. But i guess since she designed him herself then he would be ok. It is also good to know that if a toad tries to rent me a lily pad and charge double what it is actually worth i will know to squash him. :P BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -saraH

You're right; it is like a fairy tale!! Aw, our very own Pub is the lucky princess. Rock on! Now, can you make some more Sims guys for me??? Maybe, to bring to a certain librarian's parties?????? Kyla

Very creative!! I am so excited that Roxy finally got her man!! LOVED IT!! You are just so creative, I could never think of these things!! One day, you should publish these!!! Love ya, Kendra

Hey Meagan I have a question? If you can create the perfect guy on the Sims what about the perfect girl? Maybe I should give it a try instead of dating the girls I've been dating the past few weeks :) Great Story you've done it again. Well off to Target to buy Sims. Talk to ya later. Brian

Very good! I really liked it, even though it was long! I am so glad that all of the characters got what they wanted. I am still so surprised that Roxanne married Prince Jonathan and not one of the other brothers: ) ! Anyway, I don't think Prince JOnathan was that bright if he did not recognize the change of girls! Does that not ring a warning bell, Pub! You should choose someone with brains, too! That also goes for Kristen. ~Krista the cowboy lover~

who's this jim guy? I'm confused, still fun...never got too involed in sim although the new magic one looks fun...kisses Courtney the hiding for the family during after dinner

Wow- This story was weird, not to mention long! However, I did find it ever so amusing. Good work Meagan. Talk to you all soon! Sorry I took so long in responding. I was in Arizona over Thanksgiving break, and unable to access a computer for that period of time. Lisa

94 Happy Turkey Day!!!!! This is stange, but love me anyway!

Silly Story 94

The Strangest T-Day

I can still remember it like it was yesterday. The family was gathered round the table. Every one was there. Even creepy Uncle Herb with the two lazy eyes. It was the perfect setting.

Mama brought the turkey in on a silver platter dressed with all the trimmings. It looked so good it glowed. It smelled just perfect, exactly how the storybooks say turkey should smell. You could almost see the wisps of smoke and smelly goodness wafting off its breast. She set the platter down in front of Papa. Papa pulled out the big knife. The one reserved for this sacred occasion. He picked up the fork and assumed the position.

That’s when it happened. The strangest sound bored it’s way into our ears. “GLAAAAAAAAAGAGAGAGAGGAGAGGAGAGGAAGAGAARRRRRAGHBLE” Then the thing that was the source of this Tarzan like garble sound came swinging through the dinning room window on a jump rope and landed right plump in the middle of Granny’s home made stuffing. It was a turkey. But not any turkey. This turkey was wearing a little black hat and mask. It had a black cape draped around its neck with a big orange T on the back. Clutched in its wing was a small fencing sword.

“You have sinned against the almighty Turkey Lord and you shall pay for your disrespect!” he said in a very turkey like voice. We all just starred in disbelief. Except Granny. She looked quite pissed at the turkey for ruining her stuffing. Granny stood up and pointed her finger at the turkey.

“That is my great great great grandma’s home made, very rare, very tasty, and very difficult to get JUST RIGHT Recipe…. That you have your dirty little talons in!”

The turkey was now the one who looked shocked. “Step out!” Said Granny, “Or we will be sinning against your turkey hoo ha lord twice over when we slap you on the table for seconds!”

The turkey pointed his sword at Granny. “Why don’t you come a bit closer and take me out of your stuffing!” he said.

“If you smart off one more time, you’re gonna be stuffed with the stuffing you little gobble necked freak!”

“Climb on up here and said that right to my beak you feather plucker!"

There was a moment of silence. Looks were exchanged around the table, but no one said anything. They just starred. Then, as if drawn together by a magical force, the turkey and Granny lunged for each other. The met somewhere over the cranberry sauce and the sweet potatoes. They came crashing down onto the table. Granny pried the sword out of the turkey’s hand and tossed it across the room. It was on. Granny and the turkey rolled right through everything. Granny plucked a few feathers, and the turkey shoved an extra fluffy roll into Granny’s mouth and asked how she liked being stuffed. They rolled off the table, out of the dining room and into the living room where Granny chased the turkey around and then the turkey chased Granny around. Homer, the old fox hound, just sat and watched. Much like the rest of us. After what seemed like a decade they tired out. The family was still sitting at the table, doing nothing. Just staring. When the noise quieted Mama picked up the silver platter and headed back into the kitchen. We all slowly dispersed and headed home. I took a bun for the road…

Next year Thanksgiving was very different. There was no turkey on the table, or through the window. He sat up front, right next to Granny wearing a little hat and cape, but no mask. It turns out that the Turkey and Granny had gained some sort of respect for one another. While I was glad Granny had someone to play bingo with every Wednesday, I was still very confused as to what had happened.

No one ever speaks of that strange Thanksgiving that a turkey came through the window. And every year we now enjoy dinner without meat. The turkey has now moved in with Granny and requested I call him Great Uncle Gobble. I think next year I will be enjoying thanksgiving elsewhere.

The End

Moral: Land in Stuffing.

RESPONSES:I think it would be fun to see granny go after the turkey, and it was great that she was able to frind a bingo partner!!! Courtney the still hiding

This story was quite disturbing! Especially when the turkey wanted to be called Great Uncle gobble! That must mean that there was something going on between him and granny! Ewww!!! Can you say SICK?! anyway, i can not believe you came up with such a strange story, but hey!, i liked it anyway! ~Krazy Love Krista~

Do you know what is weird? This Thanksgiving Dinner sounds very much like my family get-togethers....hehehe!! Just joking, but I bet my grandma WOULD wrestle a turkey if he screwed up the food. Well, I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving Day!! *Gobble, gobble! Love ya, Kendra

Oh dear, that's.......bizarre. In all fairness, you did warn us it would be strange. And we do still love you . Kendra, I don't think either of our grandmas would wrestle a turkey. Grandma P. would probably starts crying and laughing simultaneously, and Aunt Donna would more than likely wrestle the turkey on behalf of G&G Mueller. I can see it; can't you? Kyla the one-who-has-been-working-since-6am

Meagan~ Wow. I am glad that grandma showed that turkey who was boss. It is about time that someone taught sword-wielding turkeys a lesson. Sarah

I liked it but it was odd! Good show meagan, good show! Grandma didn't break anything did she because then she can hang out with my sister at the nursing home. Love ya lots Morgan

I also liked your Thanksgiving Silly Story. Sorry I didnt reply sooner but man I've been running around like a Turkey w/ my head cut off these past 4 days. So how was your Thanksgiving. I hope it was good. Brian

That turkey was something else! I'm not sure what my grandma would do about it. I'll bet my Arizona cousins would have liked to wrestle it to the ground and have an extra turkey for our Thanksgiving feast. Good story Meagan. Lisa

great story meggie!!!!! It fits in so perfectly with the spirit of thanksgiving :) No,, you dirty perverts, there is NOTHING going on betweengranny and Great Uncle Gobble,, that is just wrong! get your minds out of the gutter! Keep up the good work snuggle bunny!!! Pinky Poo

Hey all! I'm certainly in the christmas spirit this year. I'm listening to the Haunika (sp?) Song right now :-D. I got to decorate my work space. I put bows on all the file cabinets and put a littel chrismas tree on top, I still need a star for it... Adn then I hung that tinsel stuff on the window sill and around my desk... I think I'll put up some more in awhile... While I'm ready to start firing off the holiday storries, I will be respectful of the fact that it is only Dec 3rd. Plus I need to intiate Marvin onto the list. But not today. I haven't written a "normals" silly story in so long, I wonder if I'll forget how... nah.. that could never happen. So for the first time in a bit, here is a silly story completely unattached to whatever...

Silly Story 95

Confessions: Kimmy, Entry 27

Dear Diary, today was a good day for the most part. I got an A on the spelling quiz and Debby Johnson, the little snob, slipped on a patch of ice and fell right on her big behind. Everyone laughed at her, espeacially the boys. She was wearing an gwad awful ugly skirt (it looked like a dog costume) and when she fell, it flipped right up over her head. She was wearing Barney underware. Can you beleive it? Even I don't wear Barney underware, and I'm the "out cast."

Other than that, Billy tried to get me in trouble again. Mommy says he's a bad influence. but I think he's fun. During lunch billy wanted to take the frogs Steven brought in for show and tell, and put them in Ms. Kennings drawer.

I told him it was a bad idea. But we did it any way. then during the social studies lesson, she opened it for extra chalk. It was funny. The frogs jumped out at her and she screamed and fell back into the chalk board. She erased the whole lesson with her back. So every time she turned around she was all white. Of course she blamed Billy right away. Steven was running around trying to catch his frogs. I felt bad and helped him. We got in trouble for running, but we caught them. Billy was mad that I was in trouble, so he mooned Ms. Kennings. Since he did it, I did it too. Steven , who's the biggest copy cat ever mooned her also. she wasn't very happy about this. Her forehead turned pink and wrinkly. We got detention.

While we were cleaning desks Steven congradulated me on my dumb idea. I told him it was Billy's idea. He didn't beleive me. Then he called Billy a bad name. So I kicked his butt. Mommy was mad at me. She said I shouldn't fight with boys. Daddy thought it was funny that I hit steven on the head with an eraser. But I got grounded anyway. Mommy says that I shouldn't blame everything on Billy. I don't blame things on him, they're really his ideas. I told Billy that we need to firgure out how to turn him un-invisible so that he can start taking more responsiblity. Tomarrow we;ll get into the medicnie cabinet and see if there's anything in there worth using. Maybe a headache pill, cause after punding steven in the head a few times he said he could see Billy. Oh well, it's time for dinner. bye bye.

End

Moral: If someone doesn't beleive you, kick their butt and blame it on your invisible friend.

RESPONSES:

wowwy you totally had me convinced that billy was real...gold star I liked the twist! Courtney the just had ice cream!!

I wish i had an imaginary friend to blame things i do on. That would be awesome. -Sarah

This was fun!!! It actually reminds me of my days at good sheperd, always getting into trouble, but in my case, i never actually did anything!! I think kimmy needs to kick BILLYS butt the snotty little hiding jerk. Steven is a loser, mooning isnt cool, who wants to see butt cheaks?? not me my friends Marla the Great

Hehehe, that made me giggle. I can just see Steven walking around with a chalk rectangle on his head from the eraser.......that's amusing. Hooray for invisible friends! Wish I had some...... Kyla

Cute as always. I like it when frogs jump across the room and scare the teacher. See you in a few weeks, I hope, lets go see a movie...have you seen School House Rock? I heard it was really good. Jill

I loved the twist at the end. I think this story was very humorous even though I never had an invisible friend. I wish I did, and I think at times I told everyone that my twin sister, Krista, was invisible and then tried to convince her that she really was invisible just for laughs...just kidding. I am getting to loopy...too much studying for tests. Talk to you later. -kendra

So not fair. You took that out of my diary from when i was in the first grade didn't you. Just joking. Fantabulous story meagan. love ya lots morgan

Oh the trouble of invisible friends! They can get you into all kinds of trouble, but won't take any blame upon themselves. It's selfish, if you ask me. If I had had an invisible friend, I'm sure that he or she would have never been into mischief making... It's Friday- last day of classes for some of us! Finals start next week for me. Hooray. I will be done by 2p.m. on Wednesday! Love Always, Lisa (the ever sleepy, but glad it's Friday)

This was a good story. Keep up the good work. I like the twist at the end. I kinda had an imaginary gargoyle friend, but nevermind.....tee hee. I love when people cause mass mayhem! ~Krista the cowboy lover~

Hey great story. Hey when people dont believe the things i say I think I going to blame it on my imaginary friend. I guess I should get one first though huh. :) That might help. Keep up the good work. Brian

96

Hey there. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Silly Story 96

Dining Etiquette

I will now instruct you on how eat a fine meal, in fancy spancy restaurant or setting. First off, you should dress nice.

When you arrive at the table and take your seat, there will be a really neat looking cloth. You are to take this folded cloth, which probably took some poor bastard at least five minutes to make, and flatten it out.

Next notice that you have a glass, and a glass of water. You will never touch the glass of water. It probably tastes funny anyway.

You will notice that you have way too much silverware. You may be thinking "Ah, I simply work from the outside in. I've seen it in movies" Well go ahead and feel proud for about 1.5 seconds. Because you will now notice there is silver placed above the plate also.

When your soup arrives, it is only obvious you use the rather large bowled soupspoon. Since the whole art of fine dining is to make you feel like a rabbit using fine china, there will be no way to eat your soup delicately. The spoon is too big to shove in your mouth politely, and slurping is rude. The best thing to do is not make eye contact with anyone sitting around you. The conversation is probably not engaging anyway because everyone is trying not to slurp. When you are done simply place your spoon down in the bowl and an overly annoying servant will come take it.

Get use to this. The annoying servants will often lean, around, over, or on you in the mad attempt to remove a crumb.

When the bread arrives, you will feel like a heathen.

Next is the salad. The dressing you get, is not what you think it is. Eat it anyway. Next is the main course. If this is buffet situation, only take as much as you think you can eat. It is rude to have food left over, or at least large amounts of it. Besides, how will the little annoying servant know you are finished? You will end up putting something on your plate that is not meant to be eaten. Since everyone will find it rude to tell you so, you will later eat this substance. And then it will be too late, which brings us to our next rule.

If you put something displeasing in your mouth, that tastes like utter shit, it is not polite to make a face and spit it out onto the lap of a nearby dinner quest. Simply smile and swallow. No matter how hard you try, food will fall off your fork. If you are lucky, it will land in your plate. If you are not, it will land in your lap or on the table. If this happens, make sure no one is looking and throw it back on your plate. Try not to eat it.

You will find that while trying to cut food and be dainty about it, something is liable to fly off your plate. Probably a potato. Do as instructed as above. If you are lucky it will fly right onto the plate of the person sitting next to you. Let them eat it. Do not reach over and reclaim it. This is rude. And chances are they won't understand and slap you. Which will only result in a fight. You will get kicked out. Keep this in mind... later you may want to be.

Remember to take really tiny bites. This ensures that you will not chew obscenely. When no one is looking you can sneak a regular size bite in. try not to choke. That would be rude.

Remember to sip your drink. You will have no straws. If you dribble on your self, try to pass it off as a sneeze. Be creative.

Everyone will seem to eat faster than you and look good doing it. There is nothing you can do about this. Don't worry; you probably have a glob of something hanging off your face anyway. Only is it polite and sanitary to wipe your face on your napkin and put it back on your lap?

For some reason, the nosy servant will not take your plate for a very long time. Try to make your plate look as empty as possible and push it as far away as possible with out being rude.

Dessert will be the best part. It will taste awesome. However if you are not a coffee person, the smell of coffee in the cups around you will ruin this. Remember to eat in slivers. Here and now is when it is polite to stick the whole end of the silverware in your mouth. Try to be sexy. This will amuse you, and maybe (if you’re lucky) a hot dinner guest will notice. After a few bites you will notice that some form of alcoholic beverage was used in the making of your dessert. This is because the chef knows that after trying to eat how God never intended any of his creations to eat, you need to get a little tipsy. When all is said and done, go home and do something unclassy. The hot dinner guest who took you home will like it.

The End

Moral: Order Out.

RESPONSES:

I loved it!! I can't stand fancy schmancy places...unless the food is good!!! I am your typical sandwich person!! So..."Yea for finger foods!!" Well, happy dining!! -kendra

Thanks for the dining tips. I will keep them in mind. Meagan, where would we be without your advice? Lisa

Meagan~ I have been here not so much fun. I was deathly afraid of putting me elbows on the table. Could have used the hot dinner guest afterwards but i didn't have that option. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! -sarah

After working at Ponderosa for over a year and then the local ISU Olive Garden-type resturant, I can say that this is more true then alll of you might think. And by the way, it does take a while to make those stupid napkins into pretty shapes and for those of you that are in the circus, it is unacceptable to juggle knives at the table. Also, a great way to let your server know that you want your plate removed is to place your fork and knife on it so that the sharp part of the knife is next to the handle of the fork and vise versa...or you could just put your napkin on top of your plate...or you could just yell for the overworked, underpaid, annoyed waitress to come get it. Well done Meagan. Jill, the happily retired waitress who enjoys going to nice resturants in a tshirt and jeans, preferably if both have holes in them and are dirty...then dressing up to get fast food -jill

Meagan, It seems like all of that stuff happened to me the last time i went to a fancy restaurant. Well except the last part. So many rules and their all true. That why i like the Sonic. ;) Talk to ya later Brian

thanks for the tips, I will keep them in mind-ryan w

Thanks for the dining tips! But I do miss those goofy stories you used to write. As much as this SS is true in reality, I really want something really goofy and off the wall. I am not trying to pressure you into writing something you don't, I just really miss those stories that made me laugh. If you could fix my craving for sillliness, that would be awesome! ~Krista, future cowgirl~

I LOVE IT!! thank you meagan that just brightened my day. And can you also add that in a classy resturant the tip is important and more then fifteen percent is common. More like twenty five so that you waste more money when as the moral states "Order Out" which is fabulous. You save tip money and embarrassment. Love you lots. you all are lucky you only have the rest of this week, and have a nice day. I love almost all of you. Morgan

I am definetly a RUDE dinner guest. I dont like to go to fancy restaurants because i like to be comfortable and eat like a normal person.. And i do like "When all is said and done, go home and do something unclassy. The hot dinner guest who took you home will like it." Meagan, we should work on this whole hot dinner guest thing!!! But we never do anything unclassy....(tehe) Great story hunnybun Pinky

So that's why I never get to go to any fancy restaurants! Now it all makes perfect sense; I'm a pig. Thanks for the useful advice, and I very much follow the moral as much as possible.-kyla

My favorite line was...if you doodle try to pass it off as a sneeze!!! I want to see someone do that sometime I would laugh my ass off CDR

97

Hey guys! I'm in down in the c computer lab using the new apple computers. They're pretty neat.. tee hee. The keyboard Is so flat I can't tell I'm typing!!!! It’s pretty to. My Ad class got out waay early so I figured I might as well write you guys a story before i head down to the most ppointless drawing class I will attend.... :-p (I've thoguht about skipping) So we are off!!

Silly Story 97

Your Local News For December 9, 2003

Smy: Hello again this is Smy L. Biggs and...

Bud: Bud News!

Smy and Bud: And this is your local news for Tuesday December 9!

Music: Ba DA DADA BUM BUM Deeeeeee

Smy: It is so good to be reporting to all you wonderful people yet again.

Bud: Yeah right

Smy: Bud tell them what wonderful news we have for them today!

Bud: No news is wonderful. And If it is, we don't cover it. That said, today Bambi was attacked by Prancer. They are now both dead.

Smy; bud! that is horrible!

Bud: Exactly. Smy: I don't believe it.

Bud: Neither do I and I made it up.

Smy: right. In other news, Holiday shopping is at an all time high, Ima Watchin is at the scene. Ima?

Ima: Hello Smy. I am here at Anderson Hospital where 20 holiday shoppers have just checked in. I have news that more are on the way. It seems that in the mad dash to buy the new Ultimate Flexible Barbie, she apparently can shove her head up her own-

Smy: Ima?

Ima: Yes well, I've been informed that in a mad dash to get the last 3 from the shelf at the local Toys R Us a brawl brook out. The three Barbies were destroyed in the fight, and over 30 shoppers injured. The worst injury is that of the man whom had the Barbie product shoved up his-

Smy: Thank you Ima that's all the time we have for you.

Bud: Ima gets all the good stories, doesn't she?

Smy: well now we go to Ian Urfuss. He's at the scene of a crime. Ian

Ian: Hi Smy, Bud. I am at the sight of a very vicious attack. Apparently the people of Collinsville were trying to catch Santa to put back up on the Ketchup bottle. Let's go to the eyewitness, 20 yr old, X. Jagger-Ater

X. : I saw the whole thing. Santa was hidin in the bush and the man with the crane started to come at him and he just took off down the road. The whole construction crew went after him and hog-tied him with some stolen Christmas lights! That just ain't right man!

Ian: well there you have it -- wait wait I just got news that Santa has escaped! Smy: well! We're out of time, well just have to up date later. see all turns out well.

Bud: Well maybe the weather will dampen our spirits. Let's go to Sonny Shine.

Sonny: thank Bud. The weather will indeed be dampening. Today there will be a low of 30 below and a high of 65. Except to see snow, rain, sleet, hail, clouds, and lots of hot sunshine in the next two days. the one unchanging factor is the wind! Enjoy it while it last folk.... wear layers. I suggest a good halter top and a sweater.

smy: Thank you Sonny. Oh! We forgot sports. We now go to Iwana Winne. Iwanna?

Iwanna: Well the Rams played quite a game last night. It was really quite thrilling. I can't give you any scores or facts though... I switched over to see the conclusion of Average Joe. And I was simply out raged. Adam played an awesome game, He had good training skills and they had the Rocky music playing for him, and she picks the model. Not to mention Adam was rich! Definitely a lose lose situation if you ask me. Well I don't know how good the sex was.

Bud: yes! A broken heart! Now we're getting somewhere

Smy: Ok! We’ll that's all the time we have folks. Have a wonderful day and remember to smile in the face of bud news!

Bud: funny

Beep Grr arrrgg Beep Pop

the end

Moral: If you wanna win try not to have barbie shoved up your-

RESPONSES:

crazy shoppers!! you've really got to watch out for them and what about the barbie who's taking care of her...I'm sure she need therapy! Courtney the hasn't started shopping yet

Nice. I like the part about Bambi and Prancer. It made me laugh. The weatherman is wrong, though. The past two days have been cold and damp in Peoria......not much weather changing going on here. But then again, what do you expect from the weather forecast? We all know how accurate they are . Good job, Meagan! Kyla the just got finished with her last class of the semester

I totally agree!! The weather here is just cloudy and rainy/sleety!! Bad for me on crutches. I loved it and so did my roommate...I especially liked the part about the goddXXn Santa...I hate that thing! Plus it was even funnier trying to explain the ketchup bottle to my roomie...I think she thinks we are all weird, but then again I think she is on the right track. Heehee!! LOVED IT!! And by the way, I am removing the Ultimate Flexible Barbie from my wish list...I SWEAR I did not know that she did that!! (So anyone that already bought me the ultimate flexible barbie...please return it!!) Kendra-the addicted to Pepsi Vanilla girl because she needs as much caffeine as possible right now to get her through two tests and a final today that she has been studying for since Kyla left on Sunday!!!

This was Great!!!!! i loved this sillystory meagan, it was very fun... and i will DEFINETLY remember the moral of this story, barbie will NOT be going in any odd places.. i wish the news people could really talk like that on the tv, but they need to keep straight faces, that would be hilarious, i would be watching the news if this were the case! :* great story meggie Pinky Poo

1. I'm so sad I actually contributed money back at good ol' CHS for the Ketcup Bottle Santa. 2. I didn't watch Average Joe, but thanks for the update! Both those guys were cute, in my opinion. 3. Maybe the moral should have been, "If you want good medical care, don't go to Anderson." :-) -Roxanne

Meagan~ Ok......... That was strange. A barbie shoved up someone's -? That is awesome. More annoying shoppers should have that done to them. LOL Did they ever take the santa off the ketchup bottle. The last time i was there i think he was still up. Oh well. Sarah

Meagan, That was great. I think that was the funniest story I've read yet. I laughed all the way through. LOL. I cant believe Prancer and Bambi are dead. Thats almost as bad as when Burt wacked Ernie in the back ally of Seseme St. behind Oscars trash can. Great Story. LOL. Brian

I love the SS! It kicked butt and made me laugh. I think i laughed a little too hard over it. i blame the finals. I am so sick of school and i am seriously cracking up, that is why i took a break. OH well, enough about me. i really enjoyed this one. keep up the good work! ~Krazy Love Krista~

This was very amusing. Fast paced news, which is needed, but quite entertaining. I agree with marla in that if the news was really like that i would watch more of it. Thanks for the laughs in my tired, stressed, snot filled day. love you lots Morgan the tired, sick, and stressing over her project due in AT Studio 1...but oddly happy. I Blame that part on randy. -morgan

98

Hey all. Well I just took two tests I was totally not really at all prepared to take. :-D isn't that comforting? But I'm almost clear. I have a critique, a project, and two short stories to go and it's freedom!!! Well actually I'll be working my ass off to make car payments thanks to Madison Mutual. Wouldn’t it suck if they caught fire in the night?? hmmmm

Silly Story 98

Chippy's First Flight

Chippy sat on the roof flashing. Chippy was one of those plastic reindeers people buy and put on he roofs or lawns. Chippy was plugged into the side of the house. While Chippy enjoyed flashing and having little children walk by and point at him and say "oooo" and "ahhhh" it was not the life that Chippy would have chosen for himself.

Chippy wanted to be a Real reindeer. Preferably one of Santa's. He would daydream often about being able to fly around, prance around, play reindeer games, and drink hot coco with the big guy. But alas, Chippy was incapable of movement and plugged into a house. Though a smile was permantly painted on his glowing face, Chippy was sad. Little did Chippy know, that in only a few days, he would have the adventure of his life.

The boy of the house Chippy was plugged to was a little, let's say adventurous. The boy had climbed out his bedroom window with his little sister's toy sled. He climbed up the roof to the peak. Chippy was happy to have company but was a little concerned of the boy's motivations. The boy pulled on chippy's cord, unplugging it, and tied it to the sled. Chippy was now worried, but excited. He was being treated like a real reindeer! Before Chippy could process this news the boy (sitting on the toy sled) threw Chippy off down the roof. "AHHHHHHH" thought Chippy. The boy of course followed on the sled. "AHHHHH" said the boy.

Chippy felt himself fly off the edge of the roof. He was thrilled. "I'm Flying!!!!!!!" thought Chippy. Then he felt himself being pulled down by the weight of the boy on his sled. Chippy had a feeling that this couldn't be good.

The boy's sled landed on top of the RV parked directly below. (Eccensically this wasn't a far drop) Chippy landed on his tail. It tool Chippy a moment to realize that the RV was some how propped up (on jacks) and he felt him self sliding down and off on to some sort of poorly made ramp, into the street, across into the neighbors yard.

Chippy was confused, but thrilled. It was the most exciting thing he had ever done. He was so grateful that the boy had thought to include him. However very shortly after this, all Chippy could remember was being surrounded by angry adults. Apparently they didn't think this was such a great thing. Chippy lay on his side in the snow, behind the sled (somewhere the sled had passed him up) and he was thrilled. He had flown and romped in the snow.

Later Chippy was returned to the roof. And on Christmas Eve, he chatted with the real reindeer that landed on his roof and he told them of his adventure. They told Santa of how adventurous Chippy was for being plastic. And Santa let him come to the North Pole, where elves threw him off the roof on a regular basis. Chippy was happy, the elves baseball team improved and the people in Chippy's old house were very confused about why Santa stole their plastic roof ordainment (he left a note.)

The End

The Moral: Being thrown off a roof just may be the route to true happiness.

RESPONSES

Meggie~ yay for reindeer. I am glad that santa liberated Chippy. Those people should not have been holding him hostage on the roof. bad people. Sarah

Aw, I love happy endings. Hooray for adventurous little boys that like sledding off the roof! - Kyla the just took her programming final

yeah for chippy!!!! and doesn't santa have the magic to make chippy real...anywho big gold star for this story! Courtney the already sick of finals

AWW!! i felt so sorry for poor chippy at the beginning!! All the poor little guy wanted to do was be santas reindeer!! Im so glad that chippy finally got an adventure, and the perfect ending to the story was him getting to go to the north pole with santa :) The moral is a good one, if anyone needs help off a roof, do let me know. Pinky

This is funny!! I am so excited for Chippy. Plus he got to fly!! Hurray for happy endings!! Kendra

I accidentally it the delete button instead of reply and I am a little pissed. OH well, here is my response to the story. Fabulous Meagan. I am so happy that the poor plastic reindeer found a way to be happy even if it does involve being thrown from a roof. Maybe I should try that with my laptop. hmmm...good idea. Love you lots Morgan the great and talented wannabe autocad wiz, Wizard of Ranken...etc...you know what I mean.

Very cute story, Meagan! I loved it! I am such a sap for happy endings! Awwww... I especially like the moral! I am thinking that once I finally get over my unknown sickness, that I will go try it. Hopefully no one will stop me, and I will meet Santa, and I can go to the North Pole and meet all of the wonderful elves that I have seen on movies such as the Santa Clause and Elf! Well, I am glad everything ended up find with Chippy, and I hope the little boy is ok(I think he may have suffered from brain damage before he jumped off the roof, so who knows what kind of person he grew up to be). Well, I am starting to cough everywhere, so Imust go. ~Sickly Krazy Love Krista~

Who knew being a plastic reindeer could be so much fun!? I always worried about my Nativity scene or the dancing Santa and Mrs. Clause dolls in my living room were having too much fun but I thought being a plastic reindeer would be rather monotonous...yay for Chippy! -kristen

Cute. Good moral lesson. Perhaps I'll throw myself off the roof one day and try to fly right into the lake...I'll invite everyone so we can have a lake party (as opposed to a pool party) and there will be people there to call an ambulance when I injure myself...again-jill

Hey everyone! Enjoying finals? I know I am... well that's cause I basically done with them. Tee hee. But for those of you who are still being tortured here's a story just for you. Good luck with them anyhow. Also, Be ready for the 100th story Speacial. It will be a speacial e-mail in celebration of the 100th story. See reoccuring charecters, favorites and not so favorites. Find out who's on the loser list and who's on the angel list. See a speacial apperance of Pinky's gnomes and a letter from the leprachons. Remember to tune in nest time for the 100th silly story! YAY. This message has been brought to you by Happy Pants, a product of Margo.

Silly Story 99

Final Fairies

Jared sat up on the thrid floor peering out his dorm window at the softly drifting snow. He looked at the digital alarm clock on the dresser. 12 more hours of silence. He glanced at his roommate, Kevin, who had his nose deep in a Chemestry book and his had jotting away at a stack of notecards.

"Sppp, Kev," Jared whispered. Kevin continued writing. "Kevin!" Jared said in a more normal tone. Kevin stopped to place his middle finger over his lips and "shhh." and then continued his work. "Oh don't be such a wedgie," said Jared. "Did you just call me a wedgie?" Kevin whispered. Jared nodded. "Don't you have ANYTHING to study for?" Jared nodded. "sick of it." Kevin rolled his eyes. "Go do something productive... and silent." "There isn't anything, and it's stupid for all of us to be couped up in this building, studing in silence, and driving me crazy,"proclaimed Jared. "That's the way it is," said Kevin,"Don't blame me, I didn't create finals!" Just then they heard the tinest little pop and heard a strange little voice say, "He's right you know." Kevin and Jared starred in bewilderment at the strange little being fluttering between them. The creature continued,"I am a Final Fairy, here to bless you with knowledge and relaxation."

The little green robbed and green haired creature flew over to kevin and flicked him in the nose with it's little wand. "Hey!" Kevin said louder than he wanted. But then... "Heeeey I tottaly understand this Chemistry stuff... I don't even need these note cards!" Kevin threw the notecards he'd been working on for the past hour up into the air.

The fairy laughed. It then snapped it's fingers and 22 other fairies appeared in the room all different and fun colors. They all giggled. "Go!" said the green fairy, "Go bless all these wonderful students with knowledge and stress reilef. And then gather them all in the halls for the biggest party of their college carears!" The dorm room door magically flew open and they all flew out giggling, but not before a friendly pink fairy gave Jared a good flick in the nose. For the next 11 hours and 20 minutes the entire dorm partied protected by sound proof spells, incase anyone would protest. The fairies did magic tricks and and they all played games and had good natured fun. A few people settled down for the most enjoyable nap of their lives. When silent time was up the fairies said ado and popped away proclaiming that their work was done. Everyone Aced thier finals.

The End

Moral: Don't worry, call a fairy.

RESPONSES so umm still got that fairies number? cause he missed my hall! Courtney the studying

Thats why i dont live in dorms, and hopefully never will!! Not a moment of peace. Finals are pretty stupid actually, i dont think that much stress is healthy, but anyways. I found it very amusing wihen the final fairy flicked kev in the nose!! haha you deserve it you shit. yay for the final fairys!! And ill remember the moral of this story always meggie. I have a final tonight, one tomorrow, and a paper to hand in, good luck everyone with finishing up!!! Pinky the Great

The final fairies must have flown right past Bradley. I could really use one right now........and a sandwich, too. A fairy and a sandwich.....sounds good to me. A little bizarre perhaps, but good nonetheless. Maybe I can do something about the sandwich now that the cafeteria's open again. Bye! -- Kyla the almost finished with finals (damn lit crit)

P. S. --- I love the new pic on the home page. That cowboy is one of my "friends" from the crazy librarian parties. Thanks for sharing him with others.

If only. I need a finals fairy so if anyone sees one please let me know where it is and if it isn't busy ohhhhhh... right about now. That would be good. Ok back to my anthropology since my fairy hasn't showed up yet. BYE!!!!!!!!!! -sarah

I loved this story! I so could have used the help of fairies when I was studying for MY finals! I also could have used the soundproof spells while I was in the dorm. We had 23 hour quiet hours, and the "loud" hour was when all of us were at dinner, so it sucked! I had to be constantly reminded about "quiet hours." I tried really hard to stay quiet b/c I know how annoyed I get at noisy dorm life when I am cramming for a test, but It was SO HARD! Oh well, just thougt I would share that with all of you! I loved this story and wished I had been visited by the fairies! By the way, I can't wait for the 100th story! woo-hoo! ~Sickly but slowly recovering from the flu Krista~

really need a final farie. Good story, only better if it were true......... -marv

I loved it! Do the fairies have a help hotline that you can call for help? I really would like a fairy of my own...Kyla and Krista could get me a final fairy for Christmas...hmmmm (hint, hint). Oh, well. Thanks for the wonderful story Meg. It was a nice study break. -kendra

Exceptionally cute. Good Job. I want a final fairy for next semester-jill

What about final project fairies. I don't have finals just final projects and presentations. Where are the project fairies? Okay well, I still enjoyed the story. Love you lots Morgan the happy that after two she done with the semester, and got money back on her school books.

I'm going to have to agree with Morgan about the final project fairies. I could have used there help while trying to plot out my final set of architecture plans. Thank God the Semester is over. Time to Party no more stress. Brian

100

DOO DOOO DAAA Hello all you faithful silly story readers! Welcome to the 100th story speacial!!! YAY cue the cheesy theme music! DOO DOOO DAAA DOOOOO DUMM DEE DA DA DA DA DEE DE DOOOO What a splendid read we have for you today! We have some wonderful things planned! First off we have a speacial visit from the gnomes! Here they come flipping across the e-mail.. ----------------------------------------------- yay that was quick... who's underware was that? It looked like... peter's... hmmmm that's a shame.... Ah now for a letter from the leprachons.

Dear lousy no good responders, we will get you and make it look like an accident. love, the leprochons.

aww wasn't that sweet? Now after 99 stories we will celbrate the top three responders!! MArla! Courtney! and Lisa! Thanks guys, you sure make things speacial. The most excelerated responders... the Waltermires!! They've supased long time readers in only a matter of weeks. Now for the the Have you fallen off the face of the earth? responder award! Derek! a once faithful responder has dispersed.... now for the losers! Jason and Ryan K booooooooo And Jim you are not yet a loser. You must really work at it :-D. Also, in the upcoming weeks we will be giving a most creative responder award. Not now. I don't have the time. well that was thrilling... now imagine some dancing elephants, flying hippos and singing penguins to end up this little speacial edition. *sqwauk* all righy then! now what you've all been waiting for. For the 100th silly story!!! yay!!! wwoooooo cue the cheesy theme music! DOO DOO DAAA DEE DEE DUM DE DE DOO DA DEE DUM

Silly Story 100

Reoccuring Charecters

Welcome back, today we are going to be trying to sell you this new improved wedgie remover! Now you can remove your wedgies in the most public of places...

dododododododododododododod beep beep beep

Smy: We now interupt your normal viewing for this flashing news break!

Bud: It's actually quite horrible for once.

Smy: A terrible kidnapping has taken place. A local celeberty, that (sigh) sexy, I mean um knowledegeable guy, Nature Guy was at a local insane aslium interviewing a penguin who supposedly knows the meaning of life when the crime occured.

Bud: We have clip! Cue the clip. I'm so thrilled.

VIDEO CLIP: Hello every one it's me! Guy the Nature Guy! Today we're going on a trip that's a little bit different. Instead of taking our chances out in the wild, we are going to an insane asilum. So much safer heh heh. No, the real reason me and bob (yes he's fully recovered) are going to this lovely establishment is because there is a penguin here who seems to know the meaning of life. Ah here we are at his room. Let's take a little knock inside. Hello Joe. Aw that's a cute smile you have there. And who is your friend? Rico the overgrown alantic sea rat? Why! You're the only one of your kind! Ladies and Gentlemen this is such a wonderful suprise. what a speacial treat! Whoa! hey what is happening? I didn't know you guys could float. You're not floating?? You're being carried away by invisible people named Bill and Jill? Oh no! somebody save them. Come Bob- :End Video clip

Smy: How horrible!

Bud: This is great!

Smy: Let's go to Ian Urfuss who is at the scene.

Ian: Thanks Smy. I am currently riding along with Officers Arnie Legal and Dill the invisible cop. We are chasing an invisible van supposedly driven by bill and jill. Bill and Jill are wanted for several acts of indecentcy, theft, asault, litering and vandalism. As far as we know this is their first attempts at kidnapping. Officer Dill has more.

Dill:

Ian: right... unfortuenly we cant hear invisible people... Oh we appear to be stopping. Oh I see Joe and Rico! they are floating, I mean they are being carried away! They're heading towards the Mississippi! Wait what's this? It's... It's cupid!!

Smy: I don't beleive it!

Ian: He seems to be back to himself and ouch! .... hi Arnie, what lovely eyes you have.. and that uniform...

Smy: Ian?

Ian: Oh sorry... back to the story. The chase has now gone on foot!! Apparantly Dill is fighting Bill.... See Dill punch Bill See Bill punch Dill See Jill run with Joe and Rico See Rico bite Jill! See Jill drop Rico... See... who is that? Is that? It is! It's Pebbles! Here to save the day. But where is the Rock?

Pebbles: He's sleeping!

Ian: ah

Smy: ah

Bud: huh

Ian: Look at them go! Pebbles is showing Jill a thing or two. Joe and Rico are running to safety... how does she see her? oh she can't.. she's just lucky ok!

Bud: awww

Ian: Jill and Bill have apparently gotten away. I think Dill is chaseing them but... well... I have no idea where they have gone. Joe and Rico, do you have any comments... Why that's a lovely smile Joe. That's all I have, smy.

Smy: well, that was awfully exciting. We now return you to your normal programing.

Bud: yeah. I guess...

dododododod beep beep beep

Welcome back! This is guy the nature guy here at my regular scheduled time... but as you may have seen my speacial guests were kidnapped... so I have decided to speak with this friendly rabbi infested rat I found rumiging through the garbage... and... ah he seems to be attacking Bob... Bob don't run away! come back! We'll that's all the time we have. thanks folks!

The End

Moral: familiar faces and familiar places can lead to trouble.

RESPONSES:

I LOVE GUY THE NATURE GUY!!!!!!!!! Shame on bill and jill, i think they should be locked away, and the key thrown away! This was another fun story meggie! much excitement :) Keep up the good work, and what a great 100th story!! can we be expecting a christmas special?? Pinky

Meagan, Congrats on the 100th story. Great As Always. I think Pete may want his underwear back though or maybe not. Heres to another 100. Brian

Meagan, I love it!!!!!!!! Nature Guy, Smy and Bud, Rico and Joe...........I love them all! Well, except Bill and Jill. I'm with Marla on this one. They should be put into invisible jail and watched (metaphorically) like hawks! At least Joe and Rico are ok. Poor Joe. I feel bad for Joe, but then again, maybe I shouldn't. After all, he does know the meaning of life....... ----Kyla the happy to be off work for the rest of the day

Jill, Dill, and Bill were enjoying a day in the van They drove around to the park and the mall until a man jumped in, his name was Dan He was a young reporter but very tall he didn't fit, no not at all, especially because Jill is small, not tall So Dan kicked everyone out of the van and took off into the sunset, away from a very scary man...also named Dan Now he is missing and people are wondering, Did Jill, Dill, and Bill kidnap him or did the tide turn and he kidnap them then dump them on the side of the road? Ok so I am tired and ran out of rhymes. Thanks for the cookies Meagan, you are so cool! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year See you in January love Jill

Meagan~ Awwww what a cute smile Joe has. :P Oh well yay for the 100th story! So Bob will fully recover and why does it seem like the assistant is always the one who gets nailed. I think the Guy should get bit right in the ass one of these days. (sorry for the bitterness but i just got out of a nine hour shift at wal-mart on christmas eve day aka the seventh layer of hell.) Bye Sarah

Ok, first things first! congratulations to SIlly story inc! I am so proud of the workers and the author kicks butt! I also am very proud to be a reader of these such silly stories. I love this story. very cute and exciting. good characters. good moral: I like this moral b/c it is so true. When i was with my friends from college(familiar faces) and we went to New BAden's Outside Inn ( a familiar bar that greeks have parties at(familiar place)), we had to be taken to the police station. supposedly you are not suppose to drink under the age of 21, and luckily I am always the Designated Driver so I did not get in trouble but my friends did. Hmmm...Anyway! good moral! I loved it! Keep up the GREAT work! ~Krazy Love Krista~

I loved it!! Hurray for the 100th Silly Story. I am so glad that you have given me 100 laughs and 100 stories to brighten my day, even in dreary Rolla!!! Love ya and keep up the good work Megan!!! -kenda

I think you've hit on something with the gnomes idea! I think they should have a party for all their hard work...I mean after all it's not easy "making it look like an accident" -courtneyOk, just one problem...Santa is a guy who dresses up and, in one night, delivers toyes to all the good little girls and boys. Furthermore, he does not do this just once, but every stincking year! All he does is miss one year, and when I say miss, I mean that he didn't voulenteer his time, effort, patience, and health, to deliver presents, that his elves made, for those good little girls and boys, you have the NERVE, the AUDACITY to call him an ASSHOLE!!!! Did you never stop to think that he didn't have to do it in the first place!!! HUH, DID YOU!?! What kind of people are you that you have gotten complacient with the idea that toys will fall down your chiminy every winter? It is not like you paid for them. Just 'cause Santa is watching, dosen't mean that when you are good, he somehow is recieving the good deeds that you do. So why have you come to EXPECT that he will deliver presents to you? HUH?!? moral: don't expect, be thankful for the presents. 'nuff said -danny

I can't believed I didn't response to ss100 I am truely ashamed I am currently hanging my head in shame Courtney the bad responder