Hello!
No I didn't die, I just was buried in an avalanche of unreasonable amounts of homework and family responsibilities. But no fear kiddies I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! Did I send a story last week? I think I sent one... didn't get a lot of replies you all must be suffering to. But just think only 2 weeks!
Ok the site is all updated to, minus a new pic. A gal can only do so much!
Silly story 70
Why Librarians Shush
Ah yes the sweet quiet library, where one could here a pin drop at it's busiest moment. But there is that old saying... you know the one...about the "quiet ones" Well it's no different with libraries.
When you go home at night the library becomes a completely different place. Don't believe me? Well why do you think the librarians are always telling you to be quiet? Is it so others around you can have an enjoyable study/reading session? No, it is because the librarian has a terrible hang over and you are making her head ache worse. Ah yes it all comes together now, doesn't it?
Precisely one hour after the library closes (it;s a different one each week) all the librarians in the county go there and have a big, loud, drunken, sexy party. There are kegs hidden under all of the librarians desks and strobe lights atop the tallest book shelves. There are stereos behind hidden chambers in the walls and the study tables can be arranged and flipped into stripping and karaoke stages.
The librarians invite members of their opposite sex that met in bars and gas station restrooms. They party all night, almost until the time the library opens. They are never caught because who would suspect a rave going on in a library?
So after their long night of parting the librarians all have hang overs and are tired and a bit sick and cranky for the rest of the day. It all wears off just in time for closing. That;s why they're so anxious for you to leave. You may think all of those librarians are law abiding citizens who are kind and merely constipated old women...but think again. You only wish you could be invited to a library party. Instead you get the after effects and are shushed all day. Too bad for you.
The End
Moral: Get yourself a "quiet one"
Responses:
This explains sooo much! I always knew that there as something shady going on with librarys. And those wierd little f*ckers that are in the libraries all the time,,, ya, you know the kind. They arnt the studious ones,, they are the raging whoreish alcaholics that hide underneath study tables and inbetween rows of books. They wait until the library is closed, then they find where the party is oging to be, and they crash. I think librarians have some kind of sneaky secret code too.... Good story meggy! Marla the Great
Hey Everyone- So that's why those library workers all seem to be in a bad mood when I go and visit. They really ought to not have those parties, or at least, invite the rest of us to join in. Thank you for informing us Meagan, good work as always. This has been a bright spot in an incredibly dreary day. I hope that the last two weeks of school will be great for everyone. Here in Macomb, it's going to be a race to the finish line, as always. I have already taken one final for my fitness class. It was easy. My piano jury will be next Thursday afternoon. Pray for me. The week of finals, I have two on Monday, none on Tuesday, one Wednesday, and one Thursday morning. Then I will be finished!! I ought to be home for the summer by midnight Thursday. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again. Talk to you all soon!!! Love Always, Lisa :)
damn what the hell am I doing with you then your about the most oppisite of quite as you can get babe!!! Jason
damn, that's the truth. We move aside the tiles in the ceiling and down drop the disco balls, strobe lights, and smoke machines. But I must object to you calling us all "old." Obviously, I am not old. I'm not even old enough to drink legally. Marla's right about our secret code; that's why it's important to know your Dewey Decimal System. And as far as the moral goes, yes, everyone should get a "quiet one." I think they'd be in for an awakening. -Kyla
Time to party!!!!! We need to have a wild night in a library!!! CDR
717171717171717717717171777171717171 71 71 71 71 71 71 71 71 71 7171 71717171
YES! The moment has finally arrived. I am but a few tests, one speech, and a few (already completed ready for revision) assignments I am home free!!!! Only 2 finals for me he he he he he. It feels so good! I almost got a job today to. Not an elegant one, but a job. She;s going to call and let me know... Courtney have decided will you stay or will you go? anyway on with the hoo ha
Silly story 71
My Red Shoes
Hello everyone.
My red shoes take me every where I like to go. They take me dancing. They take me shopping. They take me out on dates. They take me hiking. They take me stalking.
I just don't know where I would be with out my blessed red shoes. My sister tried to borrow them once. I told her no. She cried and cried. And then she did a terrible thing that jealous little wench. She stole my red shoes and took them to her kindergarten class. Yes she's five.
She took them while I was sleeping! the nerve. She took them to class and you know what happened? Her friend Jimmy, yeah the momma;s boy, he brought an iguana to show and tell. Do you know what that nasty iguana did? He stole my red shoes, uh huh he did. He ran out of his cage and snatched up my precious shoes! He licked them! With his tongue can you believe it!
The teacher saved them thank God, but she left them on the window sill all day under that magnifying glass where they do crappy flower experiments and it faded my red shoes to pink! Oh my sister would have gotten it to, and she knew it so she painted them red again with her finger paint. Oh sure I didn't notice at first, but while I was stalking Bobby Lee I noticed sure as all hell, my red shoes were pink shoes painted red.
Well I ran home right that minute. Just before Bobby's shower time to, so you know how important this was! I ran home and I told my mamma. I told my momma what my nasty little sister did. And then she came out with the whole story you know. She cried and cried just like a little sissy. Well I told her she wasn't my sister, crying like that. No sister of mine. So then she saved up her allowance and she bought me red shoe dye. She knew I'd never accept new red shoes.
What a great and smart sister I have. I was so happy I bought her ice cream and allowed her to take me to show and tell, where I am speaking to you today. Any questions?
No, you can Not borrow my red shoes.
Yeah? Well your a booger nosed little- What? Yes miss Johnson... I'll leave now.
Hmm I just love my red shoes. Come shoes, Bobby Lee played basket ball today, he;s gonna be nice and sweaty. And it's hot today so he;ll have his window open and he'll strip down and step into that shower. I don't know what fool designed that house so that the sheer shower door faces and ordinary opening window but God bless his little heart.
And be careful shoes, we don't want to leave any tracks. Bobby Lee might just catch on to us. I already had to tell his mother I'm a bird watcher, that's why she bought you those silly little bird tassels for you shoes. I only make my shoes wear em when she;s commin.... Yes shoes, why not. Let's jog out of this sticky elementary school into the tree infront of Bobby Lee;s bathroom.
The End
Moral: If there is a bird watcher in red shoes outside your window, you may be the bird.
responses:
Hola muffins, My plans for next year are still up in the air...I shocker I know. Are the red shoes kinda like pinky's blue shoes...I'm thinking yes. Love and kisses byeeee Courtney
Interesting story, Meagan. You know, I thought of Marla as I was reading this story. The part about the stalking just reminded me of her. Good job. talk to everyone later!! Love Always, Lisa :)
okay and you wonder why i say that you honestly have it in you to be a stalker I think your insane some times darlin Jason
My blueeee shoes!!!!! I take my blue shoes everywhere,, i take them in the snow, rain, sleet or shine! I have actually even taken them stalking! as a matter of fact, i am beginning to think that they are my lucky shoes! I also have a lucky belt. Today iwas wearing both,, and steve-o talked to me! i think it was just too much for him,, the shoes AND the belt. He couldnt resist. ok, so i get to school and i kid you not,, it takes me 10 minutes to get into my locker to put my horn away. those locks are a piece of ********. anyways, so i was like,, fooey,, i should be enjoying the company of calc buddies before calc right now. So i mosey on to calc, and i find that the stairway that i ALWAYS use is being blocked,, so relucantly, i use the others. As i am walking down the stairs, i notice that steve-o is walking up the exact same set of stairs, at the exact same time that i am.. This means that his class is canceled. This is fate people..... if the lock wouldnt have been an ass,,,, if fatty wouldnt have been blocking the stairs i usually use, and if steve's teacher wouldnt have canceled class,,, i wouldnt have brushed up against him on the stairs,, and he would have talked to me. I think the belt and the shoes had something to do with it. Marla the loving life
dude, if there's a bird watcher wearing red shoes outside my window, the watcher will get to see my bird dance. It'll dance right on top of my raised fist. -Kyla 72 72 72
Ok, I am sending this even though My mail is being poopy and you may not get it I though Collinsville was bad with he Santa ordeal, right? Well it turns out Glen Carbon's Water tower still says Happy Holidays... so who knew/?
Any way I apologize for the sporadic ness of my stories. I am still trying to sort out who will still be receiving them since some of you have school addresses and some of you are going out of town for a loooooong time. anyway here goes... I will send this to my other e-mail to just incase you don't get it
Silly story 72
The Mystery of the Internet
Sitting up late at night tip tip tapping on the key board in front of the glowing computer monitor one can lose a sense of reality. Amongst the flashing AIM messages the "you've got mail" signals and the brief sights of uninvited porn into a person;s vision bubble one can lose a sense of self.
With all the misguiding advertisements and pop ups and the hardly hel[pful search engines finding everything in the world but alas the thing you desire most to find, one's sense of logic is pulled away.
The internet is a place were everyone is a winner and everyone is the 100,000,000 customer at a site. It is the place where everyone has a date... and strangely it's with the same smiling face. IT is the place where 40 year old men can act like little girls and save themselves some harsh harassment.
Could it be paradise amongst the horizon? OR scary little nerds brainwashing the world? Is it really the place where a 3 year old can star aimlessly at Cookie Monster downing digital cookies over and over and over and over and over....
OR where the pervert is free to well be a pervert. "Insert your hand in your pants and say 'I am not a pervert'" It's where fan letters are sent and hate sites are lost.
Everything and anything is there. and I ask. IF the internet is to survive nuclear war... that's all fine and dandy. The porn will live on... but how will we access it without a computer? ah the vast mysteries of the internet will forever stay vast and it will always be a mystery.
But one. Do we credit this invention to bill gates or al gore or Donald duck? No. It was those angry little leprechauns still trying to take over the world. So ignore them as usual and run free amongst the porn, misdirection, and happy little kiddies shows.
The end
The moral. Never under estimate the power of a short little angry man in green.
responses:
Well i absolutely loved this story. I think it reveals the truths of internet. The angry little leprochans remind me of the commercial with the angry gumball! Im going to be gone for a while, but ill give you my address meggy, and every once in a while you can print out a copy of a story and send it to me. You dont need to do it for every one of them, but gimme the ones that ill find the most entertaining. I have ALOT of long bus rides, and those storys will make me happy :) Marla the Great
Well, I must say, that was the most confusint thing i have read in a wile, it is also the most acurate...Thus going to prove just how confusing AND acurate it truely is! Danny P.S. Sorry for not replying to soooo many of your stories, I just got busy at the end of the semester...ok the truth is I was just a lazy bum...
Hola all, So I finally got the computer up and running woo! Marla is you address the same as last year cause I think it's still in my wallet (yeah I clean things out alll the time). I think the stories and I don't think the internet lives on without computers cause where would the data be stored. Wanna blow something up and find out? teehee Courtney the diabolical 73 73 73 73 73 73 73 73 73
Hello all, Though I should have all this free time on my hands and I do, I just haven't been making as many trips to the computer. No fear. The stories will continue. I started my algebra class today... Yes hell on wheels. The good news is that I am going to start a lovely work out plan. :) yeah. When I get a job I don't think it will work the same which is unfortunate. Mostly because I have killer homework every night. Shoot me. I'm declaring my major on Thursday. That is good. Anyway on with the story.
Silly story73
Muffin's Fine Dining
Muffin was a rabbit who lived under the porch of a very rich gentleman named Henry. Muffin like living under Henry's porch because he wasted food often. Usually stuff he called "rabbit food" which fitted Muffin quite perfect.
One day while Muffin was out hopping around she heard the most depressing news. Henry had decided to go on a diet. "I'll be eating rabbit food till I lose 50 lbs!" said Henry.
Oh no thought Muffin I'll starve!
Muffin went to work right away. She called her friend Squawks who was a parrot owned by the old pirate next store. The pirate had found his treasure and bought a mansion in the neighborhood. Squawks was very smart he snuck into Henry's house and snipped the threads of Henry's clothes with his beak. This loosened them up. This way Henry would be fooled into thinking he was loosing weight. Unfortunately, Henry had a seamstress with a very keen eye. No she didn't notice the snipped threads she just noticed that Henry didn't look like he had lost weight when he was naked. (they had a very 'special' relationship)
Squawks apologized but Muffin thanked him for his efforts anyway. Muffin put her next plan to work. She herself snuck into Henry's home and rigged his scale to read 60 lbs lighter. Henry would think he had lost more than enough weight. Unfortunately Henry's electrician had a very keen eye as well. He didn't notice the scale. He noticed that same thing as the seamstress. (They ALL had a very Special relationship)
Just when Muffin was about to lose hope and her lunch. (the grass tasted just awful. She missed the expensive lettuces and fruits.) Henry found out that his metabolism type was "fast burner" Which meant he was suppose to avoid the "rabbit food" and eat meats. Muffin was thrilled and never went hungry. Henry lost his 50lbs and always threw out his veggies. It was a very beautiful relationship.
The End
Moral: Always throw out at least some of your veggies.
Responses:
Hola muffin, Lovely story, I'm personaly anti-veggies so woo for throwing then out. If you want to figure out something where you send marla some of the stories and I'll send her the others that would be cool...like odds and evens or just tell me to print that one out. My goal for the summer is to have card to her every week...we'll see how long that lasts. Bye Courtney the determined mailer
Oh my I don't think that thats a good lesson for the kiddie's! -- Jason
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"I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot, I wear my flannel nighties in the winter when it's not and sometimes in the spring and sometimes in the fall, I jump between the covers with nothing on at all! Glory glory Hallelujah Glory glory what's it to ya, The wind is blowing through you with nothing on at all Cha Cha Cha!"
Just a friendly reminder that my birthday is June 10th which is only a few short days (a week) away. It falls on a Tuesday and I will be in class from 5-7. But if anyone would wish to see me, my current unemployment makes me free. Also isn't Sarah's b-day coming up?
Silly story 74
My Pink Pajamas
My favorite time of year is summer. I like summer because it is when I get to wear my pink pajamas. They are my favorite type of sleeping wear.
I could wear them all year round I suppose but that wouldn't make them quite as special. I like to keep things special.
My flannel nighties which I wear in the winter, do keep me warm on those cold winter nights, but they're a bit suffocating. Not to mention the pattern confuses my dog and he often ends up chasing me around the house thinking I am a overlarge slipper. I did notice that when in my flannel nighties I do somewhat resemble a house slipper that my great grandma Lucy used to wear.
In the spring and fall I sleep in the nude. Which doesn't make since I suppose. Summer is Hot.. I should desire to sleep naked when it is warm out. But something about those in-between temperatures just makes me... well... horny. Both my husband and my Australian lover Frank love that. However several times I have been awakened early in the morning and have forgotten I am unsheaved. I head out into the front yard, baring it all, to get the paper or the mail. The little children now refer to me as the crazy naked lady. It is not their fault (or mine for that matter) that my house is the location of their bus stop.
So my wonderful pink pajamas keep me clothed and unmistaken for footwear. They also keep me at a lovely temperature.
They're quite attractive I'm told. :)
So it goes without saying that me, and my neighbors,a and the local school district all like my pink pajama also. Though I must say that jumping between the covers with nothing on at all is quite thrilling. I suggest you try it sometimes. Only make certain to lock your doors. While you are unlocking them you may remember you are exposed.
The End
Moral: Nakedness is fun, but pink lace is more socially acceptable.
Responses:
Hola muffin, I was all about this story! Woo! I have pink pjs teehee! I think this one totally has to go to pinky poo. And I don't think that the pool is going to be a good idea for tomorrow, oh well. We'll do it some other time. Is there anything you want for your b-day? *kisses* byeee Courtney
bravo meggy good story You truly are a creatively insane genus Jason
Hi! Long time no type, I know. I'm sorry I've been absorbed in real life and have found that I haven't even turned my computer on for almost a month! I'm sorry. Yes I am still alive and do wish to continue writing all of you lovely people. I know you are thrilled. :) so here goes...
I completely agree with the sleeping in the nude. When I get the chance to, I do. I'm not ashamed to admit it. And, I always lock the door before disrobing. The cool sheets against warm flesh.....it's very freeing. -Kyla
Silly Story 75
The Alien and the Cookie Jar
However it was not illegal to stop down on Earth as long as Moopsy followed all the Rules of Stopping in on Earth. So that is exactly what he decided to do. He disguised himself as a Earthling and headed down into the atmosphere cloaking his ship from being detected.
He landed in bush near a yellow house on a street in a small town. Then he crept over to the window, which viewed into the kitchen, and observed. Moopsy was not aware that this was impolite. As he observed he noticed that small little Earthlings, two to be exact, where enthralled with a funny shaped jar on the counter top. When ever the larger Earthling (mom) wasn't looking they would sneak and grab something out of the jar and eat it. The circular things seemed to give them great pleasure.
So that night when all had gone to bed, Moopsy snuck in a grabbed what he did not realize was a cookie jar, and took it back to Pluto. He then sampled the circular objects and found them to be quite tasty indeed. So he continued to stuff his face until there were no more and he was thoroughly confused.
He tried to fill it back up with circular things, such a Sackers (littler circular game pieces from the Plutonian game of Sackers and Squares) bolts, knobs, buttons, Jizjags (soles of a very popular Plutonian shoe) and caps. The jar did not make these things taste good at all. Moopsy was very confused.
So he went back to earth and observed more properly, and found the magic was not in the jar but in the circular things themselves. So he stole the big Earthling's instructions to make them only to find that very few of the required ingredients were on Pluto. So he improvised.
Plutonian Cookies:
1 cup Zanzillians Flower tops
1 blue Caprallia's egg
1 cup Motor oil
1 teaspoon Cooked Powwows
1/2 teaspoon Vanillia's Super Height Increaser
1/2 cup Sweet Powder extracted from the flower Genzabell
and 1 bag Semi-Sour Bisboo chips
Moopsy was proud. He thought his circular tasty things tasted 10 times better than the ones on Earth. He named them Moopsy Circles and opened a shop. He soon became the richest Plutonian on Pluto and he owed it all to a small cookie jar which and a cook book he kept under his bed.
Meanwhile back on earth, Susie and Jimmy Smith were both in consoling trying to deluge the hallucination they claimed to have seen as children. After 10,000 dollars worth of therapy neither of them believed any longer that an alien that resembled Elvis had taken their mother's cook book and cookie jar. Though the whereabouts of such things are still unknown.
The End Moral: Experimenting with unknown substances is tasty.
REsponses:
Meagan, Thats really funny...did it ever occur to you to keep all of your stories for a short story book someday??? it seems to be you have more then enough...just think about it...keep the stories coming they are great!! Derek, the newly published poet
Hola all, I was very excited to see another story! I missed the not-so-weekly-not-so-daily stories. But why did it have to be about cookies! Now I want cookies! hummm not a bad idea...I think I'm going to have to investigate. Good work meggy! Hope everyone is having a good summer. Byeeee Courtney the founder of PAHH (People against heat and humidity)
I agree with Courtney. Great story Meagan! It was so good to have a new story in my mailbox. I know that everyone's summer's are going well. I think we all need to get together soon. July 26, everyone free? If you are, buy tickets to that day's Cardinal's game. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get any through the radio station, but I still think it would be good for all of us to go. Then we could all go out for dinner or something. I don't know. Email me back if you think this is a good idea. Courtney- I would like to join the PAHH. I'm totally against heat and humidity. It must be stopped. Meagan- I'm going to need your help. I am going to be doing a couple of voice tracks at Joy. I'm going to make a CD copy at the studio and would like your help in burning more copies for everyone. I will provide all of the CD's and cases. Would you help me out? I would really appreciate it. Talk to you all later. Love Always, Lisa :)
Hey sorry it took me so long to reply been really busy. Its very good though and do you think that moopsy could give me pointers on how to look like elvis???
Silly Story 76'
Breaking up is hard to do
Whoever cam up with the idea that you should exercise when you are upset should have a jogging shoe shoved up their ass. Maybe nobody said it. Maybe I just came up with the idea my self.In which case I do not need a jogging shoe shoved up my ass because the agony of trying my own idea was torture enough, or at least the equivalent of having a jogging shoe shoved up one's ass. Not that I;ve ever experienced that, I can only imagine.
I spent the first week after Jeff and mine's break up sitting on the couch eating marshmallow fudge ice-cream and feeling sorry for myself. Then I remembered (or came up with, who knows I obviously wasn't in the right frame of mind) that I should exercise when ever I felt bad about Jeff. The theory was good enough. I figured I felt so bad about Jeff that I'd be ten pounds lighter by Tuesday.So I hit the Gym. Two days later I was back on the couch eating Double fudge marshmallow ice-cream and feeling sorry for myself. The whole experience only succeeded in reminding me that I was out of shape and- as I dodged a couple of teenie boopers racing to the water fountains--old. Neither are things that are good to remind yourself of when you are already depressed.
My friend Cathy said I did good for making it 2 days. It showed I was strong. Then I told her I spent the second day at the gym sitting by the snack machine making little kids feel sorry for me and letting them buy me snacks with their lunch money. She couldn't decided if this made me evil, clever, or sad so she just gave me a gentle thwap on the back of the head and a look that could only be described as a cross between "I' don't know what to do with you" and "Duh!"
So Cathy, either in deep concern for me or her reputation of knowing me, decided it was high time I get over Jeff and cheer the fuck up. So it was only so kind of her to force me to dress decent, which meant flinging my flannel fudge stained house coat into the hamper, and pull me out to a bar to pick up men. Unfortunately every man in some way reminded me of Jeff and I ended up either insulting them or crying in their lap. I don't think either of those were much of a turn on. So Cathy resorted to getting me drunk, which only made it ten times worse. I started mistaking women and planted plants for Jeff and Cathy was forced to take me home at the early hour of ten.
So next, Cathy and my friends Emily and Georgia decided to have girls night out. Well a second girls night out. They had tried this once with me and I threw fudge marshmallow ice cream cartons at them before they reached the front porch, because delusional as I was I thought they were trying to make me forget Jeff, which was after the plan for tonight. This time they made it to the porch and even managed to get me to the movies where I broke into tears within in the first five minutes of Terminator 3. I think it was the motorcycle. At any rate the usher asked me to leave because I was disturbing all the viewers.
Finally I returned to work. Iwas feeling a little better about Jeff and all my vacation time was up. On my lunch break I ran in Missy as I was getting ready to sob over my Ham and Cheese Deluxe. I couldn't help but notice that she too was getting ready to sob over a ham and cheese deluxe. Either because this was Jeff's favorite sandwich or because I;d finally have somebody to sob with I went over and sat with her. It seemed she to was suffering an awful break up. The guy she was with was cheating on her. She had only just found out a day ago and the break up was three weeks ago.
Well, to make a long story short, our sobbing"we miss you"s started to sound so similar that we finally revealed the full name of our guys and found them infact to both be Jeff. So instead of sobbing we bashed Jeff for the next hour and were late back to work. After work we slashed his tires egged his house and printed up a personal news letter listing all his bad habits and embarrassing secrets. We then found out there was infact a third woman he was seeing (the one he had left us both for) and informed her of our existence by burning our names and the pages of Jeff's little black book we were in, into her front lawn. Well she looked us up and it turns out she didn't know of us either.
She was flattered that Jeff had picked her and she told us off . But then she found out about some girl he picked up at a bar the same night we were burning her lawn and she joined us. Until the restraining orders we made his life a living hell. Now life is good. I have 2 new friends. And dating is easier. (I have 2 new detectives to check the guy's back ground). Alas life is good.
The End
Moral: When your depressed exercise your right to revenge.
Responses:
Hola muffin, Good story although you didn't have your usual intro at the beginning so I was confused so minute. I really liked the burning things in the front yard. What a new and exciting idea! Anywho, I'm off all week so if you want to go to the pool or something give me a call. *kisses* byeeee Muffin who doesn't get any miles at work
ain't that the truth. Love the moral though. Exercising my revenge is the only exercise I do. You can't get me to do any other form of exercise. - Kyla
77
Hola friendly readers! I am currently taking a break from
drawing rectangular objects (gag gag) for my wonderful
drawing class. I know I haven't written in awhile. I'm
sooo sorry! Anyway, for those of you who have forgotten
(and those who do not know) the web site where you can
read all of the previous silly stories is
www.angelfire.com/la3/nightengale8402/index.html
From there you can also visit a joke page, the penguin
liberation front, and the number of times people have
responded to stories. (Responses are listed under the
stories themselves.)
On the home page is still the tribute to Pinky. I should
probably tribute someone else sine Pinky is now home, but
not until every one has seen her flaming pink undies!! woo
woo! So go and look.
Well I guess I really must getting on with the show (since
I haven't written in like a month! again sorry!) I love
you all!! Kisses! (P.S. Sarah, Mary, Pinky and I all
watched a movie. the first Five words of the description
were "When the beautiful mental patient" I started
laughing right then. It was a horror flick)
P.S Morgan and Krista will be added to the responder list
shortly. Also remind me to send this story to Derek when
my other e-mail is up and running again.
Silly story (shit I forgot...hmm I'll check later)
The Beautiful Mental Patient
One day a beautiful mental patient got quite sick of sitting in her padded room being ogled by married doctors.
She thought to herself "Why I am so beautiful and so mental, you think that I should be famous." So she tried bouncing off her walls in order to escape. This only caused all the male nurses in a 20-mile radius to come give her a knockout shot and grope her. Not that she minded. That's what beautiful mental patients such as her, were for.
After a few months of this (and falling in love with a particular very married male nurse) she got an idea. She would bounce off the walls, and when some one came to give her a shot and grope her she'd give them a shot. Yea for her.
So she bounced off the walls and the first nurse that came in, she gave a swift kick and gave him a shot. She then took off her orange potato sack and ran naked threw the halls because she thought the male nurse clothes would make her look fat. This plan worked however because, most of the men fainted when they saw her and when arising escorted themselves to a dark corner to..uh...think. So once out in the open she stole a nearby hooker's clothes and set out, not to become famous, oh no she had forgotten all about that! No she was going to go kill the family of the male nurse she had fallen in love with.
When she got to his house however, she met his older and very single brother who also happened to direct porn for a living. And so a couple was formed. She played in his porns, and he kept her crazy thing under wraps. And they lived happily ever after.
The End
The moral: When you get board with your life, run around naked, and become a porn star.
RESPONSES: fabulous!!! Its been a while since ive had a silly story, and this was the prefect one to start with again. A beautiful mental patient, hu?? wonder where you got that idea!! i think the next story should deal with the qote "It wont fit" !!! Marla the still wonderful
Hola that was heartwarming! what a happy ending the bsu muffin
Hey All- My goodness, what a crazy story!!! Maybe this explains the number of porn stars that we have in the world. I don't know. Good story Meagan. Hope classes are going well for everybody. It was so good to to see almost evryone at my house last weekend. I had great time. Love Always, Lisa
wonderful moral! I am no longer going to be a librarian; I am going to be a crazy naked porn star! -Kyla
78
This is for all the lonely people, thinking that love has passed them by, Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup, you never know until you try.
Silly story 78
Slappy and Smacks
Slappy and Smacks were in love. Slappy loved Smacks. Smacks loved Slappy. Smacks was a fine looking young giraffe and all the little girl giraffes like Smacks. But Smacks only had eyes for Slappy. Slappy was a pretty little girl giraffe who was often asked to share branches by the boy giraffes, but Slappy's heart was Smacks.
One day Smacks got hit by a passing Tourist Bus. When Smacks came around, he didn't really remember who he was, he was just pretending. But because he was just pretending he didn't remember Slappy. Slappy eventually figured this out, but let it be because she figured he'd come around.
But Smacks was very stupid and fell in love with the next passing tourist bus and decided to chase it all around the tropical dessert they lived in. Slappy was left all alone while Smacks was off on his little vacation making out with tail pipes. But SLappy was not really alone she had plenty of boy giraffe begging her to go out with them.
One day Slappy went out with a new giraffe and fell in love all over again. This giraffe turned out to be a prince. Prince Punch. Slappy married Punch and become a princess. Slappy was very happy. Then one day she saw a tour bus and there was Smacks trailing along behind it. Then the bus driver clearly annoyed hit reverse and ran over Smacks.
Slappy shrugged and went on bossing her peons.
The end.
Moral: If you chase tail pipes all your life, and one day one starts chasing you, run away, very fast.
RESPONSES:
This was a great love story!!! It is heartwarming, shows the brutality of love, as well as the satisfaction ;) Marla the touched,,,,,hm, that sounds bad, i prolly shouldnt use it anymore
good story but alittle confusing I could keep the names straight...*kisses* byeee muffin who's going to class
Is this story to be taken metaphorically...I see some similarities between it and polotics. Danny PS. Marla it is perfect, don't change a thing =P
To fully appriciate this story please go to my site and
read stories #40 See Bill's Story and #61 See Bill Run. Ok
enjoy
See Jill's Past
See a younger version of invisible Jill --- >
See Jill wandering aimlessly------>
See Jill pick a harmless pear--->
See invisible pear farmer see Jill --->
See Jill eat pear --->
See farmer get invisible gun- -->
See farmer come after Jill---->
See that Jill does not run--->
See Jill offer farmer naughty favors--->
Bad Jill Bad
See farmer accept---->
See Jill, No! No don't see that!
ewwwwww
See farmer's wife come out of house--->
See farmer's wife get gun--->
See Jill also offer wife favors--->
See wife shoot at Jill--->
See Jill run away-->
See Jill run into invisible strip club and steal identity
of strip cop Susie-------->
See Jill (disguised as strip cop susie) arrest wife and
farmer----->
See real cops come along eating dounuts---->
See Jill run---->
See dougnut munching cops get a clue---->
See cops run--->
See Jill run over train tracks---->
See cops run over by train--->
ewwwww
See Jill run across state line--->
See Jill pick poket old lady--->
See old lady hit Jill with cane--->
See Jill hit old lady with cane----->
See Jill plant strip cop susie uniform on old lady--->
See Jill flee from scene on crime--->
See Jill arrive at place where she will soon meet Bill--->
See the end of Jill's past --->The End
Moral: Naughty favors and trains will only get you so far.
RESPONSES:
YaaaaaaHhhh!
See me saying --->I like Bill and Jill.
I like Bill and Jill....
ok, you saw it, now i must go for i am ....
Some guy who has to get up for class in the morning...
Bye now,
Danny - aka some guy those are my fav stories!! woo
courtney WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
take it off!!!!
these are fun stories, we should have more of these sometime!
but say NO to naughty favors!
Marla the assigning teams for naked twister Meagan,
what is the url of your website? I would LOVE to go there! Please send it to me ASAP! Thanks!
~KRISTA~ Hey All-
What a past Jill has! My goodness. I have to agree with Marla about the no
naughty favors thing. Yuck. Good story Meg.
It's 6 a.m. and I'm working at the front desk. If I'm sitting here writing
emails there's obviously nothing going on here. It's nice to have entertaining
stories to read. Thanks Meagan.
Talk to you all later.
Love Always,
Lisa
so that's why Bill fainted! I was beginning to lose sleep over this very issue of Jill's past....
-Kyla