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SILLY STORY 29

The Streakers are Blowing in the Wind

There once was a man named Bubba. Bubba seemed like a normal person that you would meet on the street, but Bubba had a secret... Bubba was a streaker. yes that's right kiddies. Bubba would run down central park in nothing but his sneakers. No offense to Bubba but he was not a very attractive man.

One day while Bubba was breaking the, as it were, he noticed what appeared to be another streaker. Bubba did a double take as he passed this other gentlemen and turned after only a few steps to follow him. When the man ignored Bubba's yells Bubba stopped an threw a stick at the man hitting him square on the head.

The man finally stopped and turned shocked.

"Why did you just him me with a stick?" the man asked

"You are in my territory," said Bubba

"Am not"

"Am so. I've been streaking here for 5years now"

"that is impossible" the man said. "You would have been caught by now."

"Not going to happen, I've paid off all the cops."

"Is that so?" asked the man he stopped and thought about this. "Did you notice that we are gathering a crowd?"

Bubba turned to see several people starring at them.

Bubba ignored them and turned back to the man. "We got to do something about the territory lines. Why don;t you take 5th avenue or the air port?"

"Because they are already taken. Everywhere else is to far from home or work to make it back in time without being noticed. I just want to run free. Let things blow in the wind and enjoy the pure pleasure of it all."

"Well I could never deny someone the right to streak..." Bubba thought long and hard an then he noticed the crowd. Over yonder there was a police man approaching slowly. Bubba had only paid to run not to be admired (though many in the crowd were grimacing)

"I'll tell you what" said Bubba. "Lets streak together. Sure one Streaker is a sight but 2! Look at the crowd we've gathered just by standing here."

"Point made it sounds like a deal."

"Great now let's sprint before the uniform reaches us.

So Bubba and the man, later found to be Tom streaked off together happily. The streaked every day around 10am except for Sundays. The lived happily ever after and became good friends.

The End.

Moral: Streak through the open weeds with friends.

Responses:

Hola kiddies, Well, since Marla "the great" is on vacation I've decided to take the responses into my on hands! I mean hell I have enough time due to my confinement! First off...Bubba...no, just no. I'm not going to allow someone to be named Bubba. And what happens to Bob (aka Bubba) and Tom? I mean do they adopt a kid? Cause that would totally be a naked house. You know THOSE kinds on houses right. lol Alrighty that's long enough. Love and kisses! Courtney the Sicky

I must streak are you sure about this?--jason

Streaking is defeintly an interesting idea. I would definetly take up streaking, except i dont look that great naked,, sorry everyone! If anyone wants to streak through the open weeds with me,, LET ME KNOW! We can defeintly make arrangements Marla the great

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Well folks wasn't it nice out today? And I must thank Courtney for taking over for Marla. And in your condition no less!! SO proud *sniff sniff* Anyway before we hit our heads on a lot of heavy books (do I mean that literally or not....)here's a simple story... P.S. Yes it is very short. That's ok because it's nice out and I'm going to walk my puppies. Plus it's simple which is just what our heads need.

Silly story30

Happy Sappy

Sappy wore her galoshes in the rain. They got muddy. sappy was sad. Poor Sappy. Then Sappy's strong strapping boy friends came and cleaned Sappy's galoshes. Sappy was happy. Happy Sappy Yea.

Sappy was so proud she bought her boy friend a cookie. Sappy's boy friend was happy because of Sappy. HE always kept her galoshes clean and she always gave him cookies. This was a good arrangement. Sapy was always happy. Yea Sappy yea.

The End

Moral: Muddy Galoshes can lead to true love

Responses:

Hola again, I want longer stories!! I'm getting jipped(I totally think I spelled that wrong). And what if you don't have galoshes!?!? Does that mean I'll never find true love!!! Oh the horror! Ok I'm over it. So yeah those books are evil!! I got 12 books for five classes! I think I hurt myself trying to carry them. Wrongness, pure wrongness. Boooo for SIUE! Courtney the Sicky

Honey i most say this is kinda pathetic. But cute I love you a whole lot.—Jason

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Yes I apologize for that anomalously short story. Just trying to give our brains a break. I to got 12 books for 5 classes. They some how seem like more than 12....

Anyway I've been working on the website updating it and what not. I've also am working on making the stories easier to read and easier on the eye... So check that out too. For you bums who have forgotten it's : www.angelfire.com/la3/nightengale8402/index.html How ever enjoy this story which is based on a real life experience...

Silly yorts 31

The Evil Book Thief

One day a wonderful and nice girl named Meggie went to a very popular book store to browse. Poor Meggie forgot her gift certificate. She came across a very interesting book. IT was $17. Meggie would have preferred to use her gift certificate but did not have it. So Meggie decided to see if they had the book in paper back.

Meggie did notice that there were only two on the books on the side shelf but considered this normal..it was a side shelf. MEggie approached the information desk and asked as politely as possible if the book store carried the book in paper back. The evil woman behind the counter, cleverly disguised as a helpful employee looked the book up on the computer.

"No it's only in hard back." she said and shoved the book back at Meggie very violently. Meggie a little discouraged walked back to put the book back into it;s proper place to be nice and all. She did not notice the shifty information woman lurking behind her. No sooner had the book left Meggie's hand it was snatched up by the evil book woman. It was as if she had come out of no where. A little shocked and confused Meggie decided to return tomorrow with her certificate. And that is what Meggie did.

But when Meggie got to the book store the book was no where to be found. Again Meggie found herself at the info desk. She asked nicely where the book maybe. The lady told her that the last copy had just sold that morning. MEggie noticed the evil info girl snickering behind the lady. Meggie pouted a little and asked to order the book. The lady said ok.

A few days later Meggie received a call from a voice she didn't quite recognize. It didn;t take her long to realize it was the evil info girl. evil laughter breeched the phone line.

"bwa ha ha ! That book is on back order! You must wait 3-6 months! I took the last one! I knew it was the second to last one when I looked it up for you. I had my friend by the last one the very next day and screwed up over."

Meggie just didn't know what to say..."but why?"she asked.

"Because I am an evil book thief. I dog ear pages in new books. I read the last page first and tell everyone the ending. I tear out the pages that hold the answers to murder mysteries. And I buy the very last copies when I know someone else is looking to buy it. Snooze you loose!"With that the evil woman hung up.

Meggie called the very first person she could think of. The only person who would buy such a one man consperacy. The one person who herself knew what it was like to have someone out to get only you. She went by the name of Musso and would reveal no more. After all she was the queen of conspiracy theories...though this wasn't exactly a conspiracy...

Musso told Meggie just what to do. So Meggie, with the help of Musso's stalking skills, tracked down the evil book lady. Meggie then proceeded to beat the evil book thief senseless with the very book she had stolen. Then Meggie got her fire and granted all book store a restraining order. The evil book thief was only allowed to read books missing every other page or just their endings.

Meggie read and enjoyed her book and became great friends with Musso. She even joined Musso's conspiracy club bringing the total enrollment up to 2. After all everyone else might be out to get them.

The End

Moral: A book in the hand is better than a book slammed on your head.

Responses to 31:

Hola, This is a total outrage!!! I can't believe this!!! Ms. Musso is not the only with super stalking skills nor is she the only one in the conspiracy club!! I just can't believe this. There may just have to be a boycott!!! Humf! Courtney the Sicky

I'ms orry hon, I only meant to say that Pinky has an enormaously large attraction to consperacies against her... Not that no one else did. I apologizze. I love you!!! The club now has 3 :-)—meagan

Hola, now has three?!?! now? more like always...no I still don't approve! That's it you're going to get a swift kick in the shin next time I see you...*kisses*(filled with mono germs!!) Courtney the Sicky

I say that there is now 3 because you were already in it, I am joining not you. But I’ll take your kisses anyday.. woo --Meagan

This whole story is not based on a true story it is hevely fabricated!!!!!!!!!!-- Jason

i kinda liked the story though! very very good meggie! -- marla

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Danny, (and everyone) As so many teachers have told me, there is no such thing as a bad question. So as it were does not every question desereve an answer? Yes I beleive so. So I will answer every question you sent me. And since you are taking up the silly story time, and my time is very precious now that school has started, I will send this to everyone and call it silly story 32. No I do not feel it is a cop out. Any way, here we go it will have a moral and every thing. everyone this is a response to a e-mail danny sent me. Every questoin is his, every answer is mine (in italics). Enjoy.

Silly Story 32

Questions and Answers

Hey You!!!

So what's up?

Well not to much actually. That is illiminating the sky and what not

Do you like your new classes?

I think so. The one will be really time consuming. I've only been to two though. It's nice, I get Jason on M,W and Courtney T,R

Do you ever eat lunch?

I eat lunch every day. In fact it is my favorite meal.

When (if you do) do you eat lunch?

Today I ate at 12:30/. I prob won't have time to eat at school on Tues and Thurs

How can one web-site possibly contain all the sillyness that surrounds you?

It is true that this is clearly impossible. But an attempt is indeed better than nothing, unless of course you are Yoda.

Why is it that hotdogs come in packages of eight and hotdog buns come in packages of ten?

This is of course an evil scheme of the marketing comunity. If you buy hot dogs chances are you will buy buns. In order to use those 2 left over buns you will have to buy more hot dogs. Of course two buns is not efficent enough there for you buy more buns, and thus they create a never ending cycle for the less resourceful people who don't just put a hamburger on the two orignal left over buns

If we eat hotdogs and we eat weinerschnitzle, why don't we eat weinerdogs?

Because the structure of today's society deems this unsophisticated. However I feel that if you were to go to China this may be different. Howevre. one can never be sure. Not to mention weiner dogs make very good little friends. It is not polite to eat your friends. Even Hannibal will agree with that

Do wiener dogs taste good?

The prior answer will explain why I have never tasted a weiner dog (to my knowledge) and also have no desire to. Though based on their looks I'd say they look cute. However chickens do not taste feathery...again one can never be sure

If weinerdogs don't taste good why do people spend so much money to buy gormet food for them?

Not everyone buys them gormet food, for one and the people who do don;t have any other friends. They also have a lot of money. There for they spend all that money on their only friend. And besides, who's to say that a weiner dog does not deserve gormet?

What is the difference between gormet food and um... non-gormet food?

Simple. Non- gormet is made from good things in nature--sugar, coco beans. Gormat food is made from icky things i n nature-- snails and fis eggs. Oh and a lot non-non-gormet food is highly fake. SOme how people can believe they are really getting the same thing for a lesser price.

If gormet food is so much better than non-gormet food, how come people make nongormet food?

If all food were gormet the rich would simply come up with some way of distinguhing what they eat from what "normal" people eat. Gormet makes the rich happy. However to make sure that normal people don't try to come acustom to the gormet they choose things that noone really wants to eat..like fish eggs (caviar) and then charge obsene prices just to make sure no one takes a liking to it.

What is a better word to use than non-gormet that still means non-gormet that a rich snooty person would use (you know so like "regular" wouldn't work)?

Food that is not gasronome or "their food" I like non-gourmet

Isn't the term gormet popcorn sort of an oximoron?

Not according to the rich

If an oximoron is a word or phrase that sort of contradicts itself...what is oxiclean and what does it contradict?

I beleive that in this case "oxi" stand for oxogen. It is an oxidizing clean. How ever does that not transfer to Oxygen clean...or rather Clean Oxygen. In today's society isn't that oximoron enough?

Isn't contradict sort of a questionable word, you know like the name Richard or the word mule?

Not unless you come across a controdicting mule named Richard. That is when it is time to question.

Ok, so you probably know what it means to contradict, do you know what a contrabass is?

I just looked it up con·tra·bass [ kóntr bŕyss ] noun (plural con·tra·bass·es) 1. double bass: a double bass 2. instrument pitched lowest of its family: an instrument pitched an octave below the usual range for that family of instruments 3. contrabassist: an instrumentalist in an orchestra or band who plays the contrabass adjective pitched an octave below: pitched an octave below the usual range of that instrument contrabass clarinet [Early 19th century. From Italian contrabbasso , from basso bass.] con·tra·bass·ist [ kňntr báyssist ] noun

do you know what a contra is/was?

It is spanish. I looked it up to. Nicaraguan counterrevolutionary: a member of the United States-backed counterrevolutionary force whose aim was to bring down the Nicaraguan government in the 1980s

How about a bass?

That is a fish, this dictionary stuff is boring.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck would

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many peppers is in the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked... AND WHAT THE HECK IS A PECK?

HA! A peck is a dry measure. Meaning that a full peck would be 7.57 liters (8 quarts)Giant Aconcagua peppers weigh about 12 ounces.. Assuming that Peter is pecking giant aconcagua peppers that weigh 12 ounces and there are 128 ounces in every quart and he is technically pecking 8 quarts,he is pecking persisly 85 and 1/3 pepers. Though the term to "peck" is to kiss are poke holes in with beak it is simply easier to say and assume that: Peter is lightly kissing 85 1/3 giant aconcagua peppers. :)

How many pecks of pickled peppers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

seventeen

If the space inside a light bulb is inside a vacume howcome all the dust in the house isn't sucked in when it is broken open?

Because you have broken the vacum and the light bulb you bastard

If all of space is a vacume how come the world isn't sucked in?

We've already been sucked in again and again constantly and are currently sitting a the dust bag.

Why is it that people think that the phrase "you suck" is an insult after all, don't some people get jealous or envyous of other people who suck face?

No they get envious of those who suck ass, which makes the term even more disturbing.

Where did the term suck face come from (I am not saying it dosn't make sence I am just curious)?

I assume making out...however if some one was to actually suck your face I think it may be disturbing....

Is this the longest e-mail you have gotten that, for the most part, only asked quetions, and never made a statement?

That depends on if you count those survey things.... however personally yes.

If two trains left from St. Louis at the same time, one towards New Yourk going fifty miles an hour, and the other towards Los Angelas going Seventy-five miles an hour, how long will it take for you to read this letter?

5 minutes if the first train left at 10 am... 3 minutes if it left at 2pm...

How many ways are there to ask a question?

How many ways can a question be asked?? eh hem lots.

If I told you right now that you were being scored on this like a test do you think you would pass, or would you stay in your lane and hope that the car in front of you turned off?

I would simply hope the car would turn off, being that I am in no position to pass while typing at the computer. I''d be to distracted

How deep is half of a hole?

1/2 of endless

If you started digging a hole to China in you back yard, how long would you dig before you took a lunch break?

45 mintues and 30 seconds

How about a Coffie break?

I would never take a coffee break. yuck!

Why is it that my foot isn't twelve inches long?

There are some answers that should be examined by doctors...

but a ruler is?

Some king had a 12 inch foot, obviously not related to you

Which ruler decided how long an inch was/is and what positin did he/she have?

While I tempted to say the fairy king of Duffleberry I will look it up.... after it a very short search I think the guy was french

Did you know that pot-bellied pigs really don't have pots for bellys?

They dont!?!?!?!?!?!? Oh I mean yes I knew that

Where did the term belly come from?

who cares? oh you? eh oh well

If a geragedoor button opens a gerage door, what does a belly buton open?

The belly, how did you think babies came out duh!

If space is infinately vast, and there are as many stars as grains of sand in all the deserts and beaches in the world, mustent there be a lot of empty space out there?

Yes but alliens inhabit those areas.

Ok, bye now. Danny

How do I answer that...bye??? was that a question?

PS: Dud eie messpel enythang en thas litter? ^

Oh yes

/ \

I <---- is that a neat arrow? No it sucks

I

is that a word?

That is a word. Has been for quite some time

Moral: Everything has an answer, even if it is wrong. But remeber all answers are right. It just depends on the question...

Responses to 32:

very informational!! those were many questions that i had, but if you want more questions to answer, then i can make a list!!!! Marla the magnificent

Sure if you feel it would being interesting enough--meagan

i thought it was informative, humorous, and you two have lots of time on your hands :-)--mary

woohoo no more boycott! today's story - it's too early to read all of it. How do you have time to type all that!? <~ don't actually answer that. well I'm going to go get in the shower soon byeee Courtney

I think I have a Headache Now --Jason

Ok, well I never intended it to be a silly story, but I am flattered that you think it worthy of including it in your collection =] I really just started by asking about lucnh, because we has so much fun last year, I thought maby it would be fun to do lunchagain, ….(etc) –Danny

I found this story hard to follow. Maybe it was all the answers and questions. My goodness, I never knew someone could have so many questions in one sitting. WOW!! Look forward to reading more stories. Talk to everyone soon. Later!!! -Lisa :)

Very informative! A little long, but I loved learning about Peter piper kissing pepers. I also enjoyed learning that whoever wrote the questions, does not have a foot long foot! I liked it, but it was a little long. It made up for it with the informational questions! ~Krazy love KRista~

333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 Thank you every one for all the responses! Only about 4 of you didn't respond... (bad peter bad bad)... Anyway I can't wait until I'm used to all these new classes and schedules things will hopefully be easier... I already have so much to do! Any way for your reading pleasure I am providing yet again another silly story... Should I publish?

SILLy Story 33

The Cow Who Jumped Over the Moon

Poor poor Betsy. Every animal on the farm believed she had gone mad. It just wasn't proper for a cow to go on talking about how she had jumped over the moon. It just wasn't natural. The sad thing was she actually believed it. The sadder thing was she believed it because she had indeed done it, only no one believed her.

The farm was always depressing for Betsy. None of the animals wanted to socialize with her and the ones who did only poked fun. So Betsy would sneak out as soon the farmer was done milking her and go up to the local pub and drown her sorrows. Betsy was also a talking cow. This never seemed to bother any one up at the pub because they were all to drunk to notice. They just thought she was a really ugly chick who thought she jumped over the moon.

One day the bartender, who swore that Betsy was a cow (though no one believed him either), asked her, "Betsy, if it's true, if you really jumped over the moon, then why not do again? Only this time make everyone watch. They have to believe you then."

Betsy thought it over. "But I'm no longer in that good of shape. It was a loooooong time ago."

"Well why not get out of the pub and start working out."

Betsy felt suddenly enlightened and that's exactly what she did. After the farmer milked her she would sneak out to work out behind the barn. After a few weeks Dorthy, a fairly young chicken finally got the nerve to ask Betsy what she was doing. "I'm preparing to jump over the moon." She answered, "I was going to tonight, but I want to wait until the moon is full like it was the first time I did it."

Dorthy's mouth dropped and she ran off to tell everyone else. OF course the entire farm laughed at her. They laughed also at the farmer who noticed he no longer got a buzz from drinking Betsy's milk.

The next full moon all the farm animals stayed up waaaaaay past their bedtime to line up in the field. They were prepared to see Betsy fail.

"She won't make it over the picket fence," said Martha the horse, "cows just aren't made for leaping."

Betsy entered the field proud of her turn out. 'See if they laugh at me after this stunt!' she thought.

Betsy took a long running bound and sure enough she went up up up up up up up up up... "By golly I think she's going to make it!" said Sherly sheep...up up up up.... Betsy was very tiny now.... up up up up up up and SMACK!

Betsy jumped right into the face of the moon. Her flattened cow silhouette darkened a spot on the moon. The farm animals gasped. They watched as Betsy slowly slid off the face of the moon just like the cartoons and she started falling down down down down...

"Should we catch her?" asked Dorthy the Chicken....down down down down down...."No" said MR. Quackers the duck... down down down down down..."She's falling right over the lake" down down down down down and SPLASH! The farm animals ran to the lake to see what had happened.

Betsy had a lump on her head as she climbed out of the lake and shook the water off. After it was clear that she was ok and would of course live, they all laughed at her. Sure she had jumped higher and farther than any one on the farm ever could or ever would, but she had still managed to make a fool of herself.

So Betsy went back to the pub, the farmer once again got a buzz from Betsy milk, but Betsy was secretly happy. She could now tell everyone that she had jumped to the moon and no one could say that she hadn't.

The End

The moral: No bitchy chicken or drunken bar man should ever be able to tell you what you can and cannot do.

Responses:

Well, I think that the moral should be that you can do anything you want to if you set your mind to it. Other than that, interesting story. Lisa :)

MY god I am going to marry You? Jesus What the hells wrong with me! no jj it was lovely -- Jason

Hola, I enjoyed this story. Woo. I think you're right that you shouldn't listen to drunken men or bitchy chickens but you should listen to drunken chickens. They are the all knowing! Also I think Betsy needs to join "Pinky's Powerhouse Workout Program". After that she would totally be able to jump of the moon. Also, Lisa dearest, although I'm sure you would like to believe that we can do anything we want to do it's just not true. I "learned" this is a class today. No matter what you do there will always be someone better. Not mention if I wanted to jump over the moon I totally couldn't. I mean come on now. Ok this is long, I'm done now. --Courtney the used to be feeling healthy but then had a night of wrestling so is feeling poopy again

I liked this story. Very silly indeed. I think that the farmers was a little weird, not Betsy. I mean, he was the one getting a buzz off of Betsy's milk, which he probably drank strait from the utter. Suck like a man to suck on a woman's milk producing organ! How indecent! I am glad that Betsy at least made it to the moon, even though those STUPID farm animals couldn't even do that! Grr..... THey should be shot and made into supper! ~Krista~

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