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153 Ok I know, it's been awhile you thought I possibly died... well anyway...
SS 153
The UCGB&R
With nothing but pure enthusiasm she tossed off her little hat and flipped open the hard, maroon folder which she thought possed the very important peice of paper that proved, finally, that she was a legally educated adult posseant of skills beyond the ability of a simple minded highschool graduate. She closed her eyes tight and when she opened them her face fell.
Inside was a poorly typed letter that promised her her paper in 4 months, approximately, but congradulated her unprovable acheivements. She took the letter and tore it to shreds, but kept the floder for when the real thing arrived, because her anger had not yet completely wiped out her hopes of getting a "real" job.
As she trudged through the parking lot to her car, it started to rain, making her ceremonial gown heavy and sticky and she wished she had gone back for her hat. As she started to put her keys into the lock, she felt an untuned dripping on her wrist and a sudden lack of rain on her arm, when she looked up there sat a strange, bearded, slightly blue man in a blue and yellow floppy hat. She screamed with a start and wailed backwards and plopped her behind right into a pot hole filling with water. "what the hell!" she screamed, and the strange little blue man laughed loudly.
"I'm the blessed Graduate Fairy!" he exclaimed "I'm going to make your life after graduation slightly easier while you search for jobs."
He then told her of a magical place called UCG Reastraunt and Bar'. The Unemployed College Graduate Reastraunt and Bar' was a magical place were such people could be not quite gainfully employed until they got themselves into their carear driven shoes.
the waitress's were English Majors, who could alot for good conversation while one dined. The bartender's were of course theater majors, cause they could pretend they cared about the drunken sorrows of the regulars and put on a good bar top show. The psychology majors and sociology majors were the hosts, becuase they could properly assess who would be best served by whom and sat best by whom. the Engineers and Computer people did all the up keep in an efficent manner which also lead to some interesting looking designs of the lighting and kitchens. The art majors were the cooks and the science majors prepared all the reciepes. The health students did the cleaning and philosphy majors moonlighted as bartenders and took care of scheduleing and managing the actual employees while PR and buissness majors dealt with the cranky customers and price settings. Mass Comm did all advertising and the outside upkeep. And so forth, each major had it's place.
The little college student was thrilled and got a job at the UCGR&B as soonas she could muster. The 4 months she worked there flew by and before she knew it she had both a respectable job, her diploma and a wonderful experience from working in an expertly, slightly disgruntledly run reastruant.
the end
moral: always trust strange little blue men when it comes to job oppurtunities
Responses
Great story! I want to go eat at that restaurant. It sounds very pleasant to me. I TOTALLY would have kicked that fairy's a** if he had scared me like that....totally! He would been a gonner. I guess I won't get a visit from him b/c he will be too scared...poor me...tee hee...anywho, great short story meg. ~Krista~
Awesome story Meg! I love it. Ask the people in Borders sometime what they majored in in college. You'll get some great answers.
Guam is fantastic. Its beautiful with great weather and lots of sunshine. Check out my photos on the facebook. I'll be sending out an update soon with some photos attached.
How are you? Is your semester going well? My mom asked about you the other day. Fill me in, Jill
I want some little blue men to talk to me one day. They can give me a super nice job so that I can save money to pay off the evil people at the loan place. LOL. Or ...or, I will use the money and get a kitty. hmmm...
Mickey
That is soooo great!!!! We need to start that restaurant meggie, i
can train all the waitresses!!!!
Sarah
hahahah i like the blessed graduate fairy!!
wow, the uchb$r really has their shit together with all of the different majors doing specific things.. if only my chem lab were that organized
Im happy that in the end the ho found a job... maybe you should write another story where she gets fired for being the company slut..
Pinkster
Hahaha, this is Sarah's ideal job.....but throw in a tye-dye shirt...Hippies...
-angel
You could also open a restaurant for people which have overly obese tittles and excessively retarded speech, but I suppose there's already a h.o.o.t.e.r.s.!
-josh
This sounds like an excellent idea for a restaurant. My question: where would History majors go? Also, since I'm a Speech Communication major as well, I'd like to get in on this waitressing. I think a speech major would make for an excellent cocktail waitress. Also, the outfits would be cute :)
-Roxanne
Yeah I had this all planned out in my head and then when I wrote it, I
forgot to mention a few, but of course the speech majors could do waitresses
and finance majors cashiering, and history majors could work at the bar or
bus tables and so forth :)
-me
I always wanted to be a bartender! Sign me up!
Great story Meagan!
154
Sorry these haven't been more regular. I should really have the time,, but my work comp doesn't always like hotmail. And I do have lots to work on. But anway, enjoy!
Sily Story 154
Moopy and Sheena
The sun was shining, the wind was blowing, and love was in the air. Spring Fever was starting to creep into the unconscious souls of students across america, espeacially the midwest.
It was warm, not hot. The breeze was still cool. You could shed off that winter coat and run in the sun, and then settle for some hot chocolate after the sun went down. It was that time of year. Not yet spring break, but it was approaching.
The desire to skip classes hadn't quite set in. There was a false air of productiveness brought on by everyone's better mood. That is, everyone but Moopy. Moopy was teh exception. He was the exception to most things actually. He tended to be the exact opposite mood than everyone around him. He claimed he didn't do it on purpose, and half the time he didn't even realize. It was just a thing.
This made him a good and unexplicable mediator though. If his two friends were angry he was only calm and rational enough to help. If they were sad, he could make them smile... or get really anoyed with his good mood and throw things at him. In fact the only area this didn't help Moopy in, was love.
If his date was having a good time, he inebitally was having a bad time. If they were having a terrible time, his mood was estatic. If his mood lightened there, he immdiatly became boerd. In short it was a problem. Espeacially in the bed room.
One day Moopy ran into Sheena. Sheena had her own problems. Sheena didn't really get moody. She didn't get excited or sad or angry. Any smile was a small blip on the radar screen and then gone again. When Moopy ran into her he felt instantly calm, ho hum, but not bad, just dull. He looked at Sheena standing there watiing for the same bus expecting her to be overly estaitc abotu something. BUt she stood calm, still, waiting. Moopy was confused, was she hiding her emotions. So he struck up conversation. Sheena wasn't too thrilled, though not appauled by it, and Moopy was the same. It wasn't long before they discussed their problems.
Then Moopy understood. It's hard to be the opposite of nothing or was it? Moopy began to feel very starange about half way through the conversation. He was angry that his seat was uncomfy, he was thrilled that he was talking to Sheena, he was sad becaus the ride was so short, he was nervous he'd say the wrong thing, he was calm because there wasn't anything to be nervous about, he was scarred that the bus was going to fast, he felt brave enought to reach over and kiss Sheena on the cheeck. HE was embarrased adn proud of this action. HE became ansy, he became tierd, grumpy, slap happy, silly, funny, boring.
He felt like he was going to have a nervous break down.
Sheena sensed something wasn't right and for the first time in her life she because concerned, very concerned, very worried. Suddenly Moopy felt very calm and secure. He was glad the experience was over. Sheena then for the first time in her life became extrememly happy. This put Mioopy in a foul mood, what did she have to be so happy about? Sheena out of pure excitement grabbed him and smooched him right on the lips. There was a moment of shock that followed for both of them and then something mystical happened.
They felt the same. Both were embarrassed. Then both were suprised that both were embarrassed. Then both were confused that such feelings had continued. They got off at their stop which was they same, they found out they were technically neighbors and had never realized it. Not knowing what else to do they decided to have dinner together that Friday. The rest of the week, Sheena had more feelings than usual, but was still dull. Moopy still felt hte opposite of everyone, but occasionally he got his own feelings, or feelings he couldnt' describe... until he heard about Sheena's week.
Friday ngith it all became clear. When they were together their mood was the same, regaurdless of those around them. When they were appart they were still intuned to each other, but in a nonannoeying kind of way. They knew what the other was feeling but it did not disrupt their lives. Moopy's oppositeness began to tone down, though he was still good in bad situations. Sheen began to show more emotion, thoguh she was still dull to many standards.
They eventually got married and lived happily ever after....
until they had children. Then they didn't know what to do.... but that's a whole other story
the end
moral: kiss random people at bus stops
Responses
Good moral although the people i have seen at busstops have been less
than desirable unless you coung the Cougar shuttle....
Sarah
Very cute and witty story, Meg! I loved it! Yay for another SS update! I love these things and miss them dearly. Oh dear Short Story, how I love thee and miss thee. Ok...enough of that....I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball. Ciao! ~Krista~
Aww, so cute! Kind of an interesting topic to think
about too....what is the opposite of nothing? Very
metaphysical...gahhh!
-Kyla
sheena sounds like a dirty slut. I think moopy should ditch her ass and turn gay.
I think the moral might have potential danger... have you SEEN most of the people standing at bus stops?? yuck.
Cute story though meggie. maybe you could have a sequel where sheena comes back as a crack whore and sells the kids for crack :)
Pinkster
Very entertaining! (Sorry, I just got around to reading my emails..very, very busy past three weeks). I thought it was clever and I always love a happy ending!
-kendra
154
so hello. long... sebaticle??? hheeh enjoy
silly story 154
Butch and Kenny: The Battle of Fire and Ice
One day Butch, the orange polar bear from Pluto, landed behind Kenny's bar breaking in his journey to Mercury. You see Butch, was absoulutely fed up with all things cold. He wanted hot. HE was stopping for a snack before finishing his trip. He went into the bar and ordered firey hot wings and a warm beer. He made it very clear that his beer be warm.
Butch was scarffing down the hot wings when Kenny walked by and noticed the beer had no ice in it and added some. (He always carried an ice pail around when he walked around the bar.) Butch reached for his glass in desperate need of a beverage and stopped, growled, because there was ice in his beer. He roared in anger a few times and got up demanding who had iced his beverage.
Kenny cheerfully hopped over and told him he had in fact done it and was proud to say he had. Butch punched Kenny square in the jaw. Kenny staggard back. He shook his head and then gave Butch a swift kick to the chest. And so the fight began.
They fought all around the bar breaking tables and chairs. At one point Kenny called Butch an out of place misfit who spelled like cabbage. So Butch found the nearest tub of ice and knocked it over. Kenny lunged at Butch and they burst through the window into the streets.
The fight lasted 6 days. On the 7th day they were both too exhausted to throw another punch. They staggared into the nearest restraunt. Kenny ordered two drinks full of ice. When Butch gothis drink he looked at it distainfully and poured it out on Kenny's head. And the fight began again.
They had gathered a crowd and people had begun taking bets. Selling cold icy beverages and hot beverages to fund the filming, ticket printing, and bandaids needed by the fighters.
One month later with minimal breaks taken. They stopped passed up under the arch. Maybe it was the heat, or maybe that they had been beaton in the head so many times, or perhaps it was some kind of sick bond they had created over their month of abuse, but they began to talk.
They philophsized about beverages with ice and beverages without ice. Butch admited that perhaps it was his disdain for the cold that had caused him to act out so irrationally. Kenny explained that he had always taken things personally because his father never hugged him, and it was not Butch's fault, in fact it was his right, to not want ice in his beverage. They shook hands and went back to the bar. Kenny gave Butch a steaming cup of coffee and Butch smiled and driopped an ice cube in it.
No one could really understand but them and a lot of people lost a lot of money betting on them. Tehy were angry and stormed the bar. Thinking fast Kenny and Butch hooped in Buthc's ship and flew off to find a planet where they could be accepted both hot and cold. They went to another galaxy and started a whole new society and an an excelent plant ring bar called Flames and Rocks.
The End
moral: The best friendships and buissness plans are made through weeks of abuse and a few cold drinks
RESPONSES
i like meeting people from other countries/planets!!! kenny, butch and i should become good friends, i wanna visit venus! id also like to go on the voyage to find a new planet!!! i loved the moral meggie!
im glad to see that the silly stories are coming back, wooo!!!
pinkalicious
"Why did you bring me cold coffee, I said I wanted a nice coffee, not an ice coffee!" That just came to mind for some reason.
Hooray for the return of the silly story, this one is definately the silliest of them all!-josh
ha ha ha I love it. It's so true!!
-mickey
sorry it took so long to reply. My life has been pretty crazy lately. i really liked this story. i miss the SSs!! I used to print them up and put them on my wall to make me laugh when i was writing a paper. Now all of them are curling on the corners and turning yellow...oh how sad :( ...tee hee...anywho, great story. Good moral. :) ~Krista
Very good. I want a purple kangaroo to serve me a drink downtown! They should put a bar in the top of the Arch to serve warm beer and cold cocktails.
Cheers! Jill
Good story Meagan!!!!! I also have not made time to respond til now
but the moral was great....and oh so true....hmmmm......i have never
seen a purple kangaroo, this story should have illustrations to go
with it...that would be awesome.
Sarah
155
Yeah sorry I hadn't written in a long time guys. Last semester was hellbound and I was looking for strictly mindless activities to fill my small amounts of free time with. Anyway, here's another fun filled tale from yours truly. Glad you all enjoyed the story! I'll be updating the site soon as well.
silly story 155
Ponderings from Laura and Jimmy
"You know" said Laura "I wish I could be like Juliet"
"What find your one true love and then die a horrible and unfulfilled death?" answered Jimmy.
"No!" Laura replied "I want to find my one true love and have such a passionate romance it's remembered for all time."
"Well it'll probably only be remembered if you die a horrible and unfufilled death."
"You're so pestimistic Jimmy!"
"I'm just stating the facts. Besides, if you want to get technical Romeo probably wasn't even Juliet's one true love. Therefore it's only romantic because no one lived long enough to find out it wasn't. So, you probably don't have to worry then because in truth you desire in no way to be like Juliet."
"Are you saying," Laura asked a bit indignantly "That Juliet didn't really love Romeo?"
"No not really," answered Jimmy, "Romeo didn't really love Juliet."
"What!"
"Well let's think about it. The boy is clearly on the rebound and probably on drugs."
"But he marries her!"
"All rash decisions."
"I don't like you very much Jimmy."
"Well that's too bad," said Jimmy "because you're stuck with me."
"I guess you're right," said Laura,"It's not like I could really discuss these things with the little plastic plants."
"You know, I personally am insulted by the little plastic plants. Did you know they can buy real ones?" Jimmy asked "I saw them in the store. They hung next to my old tank."
"You're right," siad Laura, "Knowing that now I am a little insulted."
"Oh look!" said Jimmy "they're putting in another movie."
The two little gold fish turned and watched their owner slip in another movie.
"I'm so glad she moved us to the living room" said Laura. "This TV contraption is just full of wonderful stories."
"Yeah," said Jimmy, "But it's a little depressing. Every Friday night we're watching movies."
"So?"
"It means Susan isn't getting out of the house. Which means she has about as much chance as finding her Romeo as you do."
The doorbell rang. Susan got up to pay the pizza man. She opened the door.
"Oh look!!" cried Laura, "His name tag says Romeo!!! See I told you true love can exisit. That means I have a chance to!"
"You're logic is completely wack." said Jimmy.
Susan and the pizzaman stood starting at each other. Then they lunged for eachother ending in a passinate hold, hot pizza dropping to the floor.
"See!" cried Laura.
Jimmy tred water, floating in aw.
The End
Moral: Pizzamen can sometiems be hotter than the pizza.
RESPONSES
156:Coming to a email near you!