I'm calling you, 142 through 150

Silly sTory 142

Pepsio and Cokeliet

Down in the valley of Soda and Pop
there were many fizzy familes
fresh and delicious
to the last drop

There was RC Cola, Sunkist, abd Brauq's
Cream, and rasberry,
Mist, dews and Sprite
Doctors, Misters and Gin

But of all the bubbly carbon
Two familes stood out the most
They were the hip, young Pepsis
and the faithful, old Cokes

A classic tale of new money and old
of whom owned more pizza, chicken, or wraps
or whom sold more bears, t-shirts, and caps
Red vs Blue, no need to confuse

It was a war, a famous war
that had lasted years, decades at best
from new see through liquids
and funky new odd tastes

But it was a war that would soon
find its own sullen place
for the foam was growing
and the bubbles bursting

For the fine young daughter, Cokeliet
had found her quick heart stolen
by swift son Pepsio, you bet

It was love at first sight
and flee at first fright
her angry mad cousin, Cokebalt
had seen her dear love fleeing her can

What he didn't know
was why the lad fled
all that he knew was
there was a Pepsi on his land

His uncle Coke restrained him
and all this was fine
for it bought our dear lovers
a little more time

Pepsio ran straight to the church
in search of a dark brewed beverage
by the name of A&W Priest

With the help of Cokeliet's nun,
fair Siera Mist
the two lovers wed
and shared their first sun-kist

They snuck off then
to fizz and to pop
to mix them up rough
like at a Quick Trip pump

All was then fine
and the lovers were set
Pepsio went out to amend
with Cokebalt before the sun set

But Cokebalt was mad
more than his taste had been brewing
He was waiting for Pepsio
with some flatness to start pouring

Pepsio arrived and tried to be nice
But Cokebalt gambled and ran with his knife
Pepsio slouched refusing to fight
and R.C Cusio jumped in front of the sight

R.C Cusio slain, and Pepsio sad
Cokebalt ran and Pepsio went after
He jumped in his Soda Machine
and when popping out

ran Cokebalt over, with only a shout

This was all bad and something had to be done
Pepsio fled from the land Carbon
and hid with the bottled waters
who longed to be soda

Until he was to receive notice
from sweet Cokeliet
or from A&W Priest

But Cokeliet had fainted
just from the news
because Cokes are quit week
we all know the truth

And while Pepsio stayed faithful and true
Cokeliet remarried, a Cherry Coke
oh it's true.

Pepsio returned once
and found her a slut
he was mad she was ungratful
and shouted tut tut

He vowed never to trust a coke again
but as he was leaving he ran into
quite a pretty lass
the cherry coke's sister, who had a nice ass

They fell in love
and they fled from that place
They lived happily ever after
without the valley's praise

the end

Moral: Coke is fine, but Pepsi is clearly better.

And the creative response award for this month goes to Kendra!! This was in response to Pepsio and Cokeliet I love it! She's gets a bunch of gold stars and some cookies. Here it is: I thought your story was clever, but seeing as that I am a HUGE coke fan, I do NOT think that pepsi is better and that you pepsi lovers and INSANE! I go to entirely pepsified campus and it sucks!! But needless to say:
your story was clever,
and you wit was quite grand,
but everyone knows that,
Coke rules this land

So just sit right back,
as I school you on rhyme,
because I'd loved to debate,
but I haven't got the time
So I will end this ditty
on a good note,
I love you Megan Hart
and all the things that you wrote!!

How was that? Later gator! Kendra

143 First things first. Let's all welcome Glenda, Brad, adn Chloe to the list :) Look for others in the future. Ok here's a story, inspired by something I'm sure. I'm at work and I'm boerd. Guess tha is good enough

Silly story 143

Buzz, Tap

As I sit by my window and tried to concentrate something awful on thursday's reading, I hear the most iritating sound. There is a buzz and a tap, tap, tap. Buzzz, tap zz tap, tap, tap buzzzzz. I turn slowly toward the window and see a large fly. I think it is gross, but more annoeying than anything. So I open the window and it turns and flies back inside. Stupid Fly.

I continue my work, the fly having shot off somewhere else, and just as I begin to understand the utilartairan's theory on happiness, I hear it again.
Buzz. tap tap tap buzzzz buzzzz zzz buzzzz tap tap tap
I turn again and there he is butting his little big head up against the window. I reach to open the window and this time he flies away before I even have the chance.

So resuming my work and taking excellent notes I again find myself unable to concentrate. buzzzzzz tap tap tap buz tap tap tap tap tap! Buzzzzzz Without turning I shoo my hand in the general direction of the sound. And he flies away. And so it continues.

"Foot does not claim, as some others have, that evalutions of states of BuZZZ BUZZZZ BUZZZ BUZZZ tap.... tap tap

"That evalutions of states of affairs never make sense in buzzzzzzzz tap tap tap tap buzzzz

"never make sense i tap tap tap "never make..." what now? where was I..ah here we are " Foot does not claim, as some other have, that evalutions of states of affairs never make tap tap tap "NEVER make sense in moral contexts." I sigh. "On the contary, she thinks it is important 'to see the place that there- buzzzz -there indeed is within- tap tap tap- indeed is within morality for the idea of better or worse- buzzzz buzzzz tap tap tap tap buzzz tap tap tap tap tap tap

... .... tap tap tap buzzzzzzz

Oh for pity's sake, why can't I just get a little work done! buzzzzz tap tap tap I turn and fling the window open. The fly sits on the sill and rubs his front legs together. I leave the window open and turn around to read. buzzz buzzz buzzz buzzzzzzzzzzz tap tap tap tap I turn around and the fly is now attacking the top half of the glass. Either he is very stupid or he has a death wish.

I turn around and I get a paragraph of reading done, with the consistant irritation of the buzzing and tapping behind me. Then suddenly I hear a flutter of wings and the buzzing stops, the tapping is gone. I turn around a large bird sits on the window holding the fly in his mouth. He blinks and then as if he has just noticed me, flies away. I sigh and I return to my work

"Thus, for example, if there is a question of riding out to rescue a small number or..." I stop. There is something wrong. It is too damn silent now. I pop on the radio, but it is only distracting. I try humming, but I cna't concentrate this way. I find myself tapping the table and then I realize... I miss the fly. My eyes begin to water and I drop my head in my 50lb book and wail. I never treated him right that fly. I wish that he would only come back and irritate me just once more. then I hear a tiney sound. buzzz tap tap buzz I turn and there is a much, much smaller fly attacking the top half the window, I slowly close the bottum half as to not scare him away and gleefully continue my work, in honor of my friend.

the end
moral: You need to be irritated to get anything done

144 Ok here it is. It's a shorty, inspired by the theme of my week: tests.

Silly story 144

The Helpful Little Test

I am a test. I consider myself a pretty difficult test. I have many questions, fill in the blank at that, and , and, AND an essay. I mean what do these teachers expect of these students after all anyhow??

SO when test day came I was distributed to my student. He was a nice looking fellow with a red baseball cap and , well from my point of view he needed to shave and blow his noise, but nonethe less I took no predigious on this young man.

The test began and he started at the first question pondering. He had written his name, Jeff Winters, on my upper right hand corner. I thought it was an alright name. I sat wondering what kind of life Jeff led, if it was an easy life or a hard life. If he had a cat or dog, and how many other tests he had come across. Then I realized that some time had passed and he still hadn't answered number one. I suddenly felt ver compassionate. And I did something that all test are told never to do.
I cheated.

I whispered "Hey Jeff" The young man looked confuesed and puzzled and looked around trying not to look sipicious. He quickly jotted an answer down for number one and began his long thought process on number 2. His first answer had given me hope. I decided that I had over reacted. After a few minutes... "Hey Jeff, you only have an hour!" HE looked very startled and jotted down an answer for number two. I finnally looking at the clock took pittty on him.

I began to rattle off answers, to help him finish faster. Jeff kept looking around and at about the last question he realized I was the one speaking. Of course he thought he was going crazy at first. I assured him it was ok and I would help him get through the rest. So I gave him answers for the remaining questions, and what I felt were helpful tips on his essy. He finished just in the nick of time.

The teacher took me home and I tried not to look embarrassed, I didn't know if teachers were psycic. She wrote lots and lots and lots of stuff on me... in red ink... and then she drew a sad face. I immediately began to panic.

When Jeff got me back he was very disappointed that he had only gotten answers 1 and 2 corrected and a "so-so" on his essay. He was made at me. I told him it wasn't my fault. I'm not an answer key! He threw me in the garbage. He tried to get to take another try at it and teacher just shook her head adn said "Now I've heard everything." and "no"

Ridiculus I mean how was I suppose to know the material? I only know the questions! I just htought I'd have some sort of intuitive about it, guess not. But Jeff didnt' have to be so mean! HE didn't have to listen to me. And he should have know I only know the quesitons. I mean what the hell. I'm lineing for a bird cage now and quite frankly i think it is very unfair. Some people are so ungrateful!

The end

Moral: Don't take the advice of talking tests.

145 It was interesting last night learning about where Halloween came from. It's a pagen religion based on their New Year and a Harvast tradition. Their New Year's day was Nov 1, their new year's eve was Oct31st. They beleived that at this cruicial in between night, the dead could walk the earth. They had to return in the morning. All Saints day was moved by the church so that it would appear people were celebrating All Saints Day and not the pagen holiday. As far as the harvest goes, at the begining of their new year they would sacrafice a boy and girl to insure good crops. this is what those indian corn dolls symbolize. Indian corn and pumpkins are sexual symbols for fertility, hoping for the fertility of crops. Before you get down on the pagen's for sacraficing children so they could eat well think about this: You know that tradition of hitting a bottle of champain on the side of a boat to ensure safe journey? Well that use to be a little boy. The town would pick the best little boy in town to tie to a rope and swing into the side of the ship until dead, the theory being that since they already sacraficed something good, then their trip would be good and safe. So we all used to be evil. Well that was a cheery little tale. here's your story

ss145

Melvin's After Life

Melvin lived upstairs in the attic of an old run down house. He was a quiet fellow who did a lot of reading and and a lot of writing in his journal. Everyone always said that Melvin would die with his nose in a book, unfortuently this was true. Melvin was so engrossed that he did not even realize he had died. Luckily he had a maid that came in every day to clean, so he was found and removed quickly. This meant however that Melvin was found in the short black out period a spirit experiences after death. Usually they know they have died, or see themselves and know to move on to the greater good.Melvin reawoke in his chair , his book on the table and thught he had simply dozed off. He picked up his book and resumed reading. And there he sat until one day someone tried to move into his house.

Melvin was coming to a very important part of the book he was reading when he heard footsteps down stairs. He disregarded it as hoping it was his maid on the way up, she hadn't been there for weeks and things were starting to get dusty. He hated dust. Much to his dismay, some young fellow came trosing up the stairs with a woman in a suit.

"Oh it's a lovely space and its furnished, the old man never did much with the upstairs, I doubt he ever really came down, but this room should show what potential this place has. After all all the floors are real wood and the house is very old, you'd be getting it for a steal."

MElvin looked up at this dialouge and frowned. "Who the hell are you?" He asked. Neither the lady nor the young man made any kind of acknowledgment of him.

"Oh it'd be a blast for parties!" the young man said shaking the railing by the stairs, "Seems sturdy enough to get a little crazy if you know what I mean."

"Well," said the woman "It is a remote area... granted not all that land is yours but the closest neighbor;s half mile away. Of course you wouldn't be doing anything of the illegal sorts..."

"what?" the young man really hadn't been paying attention he was too busy rocking in Melvin's reading chair, "Oh no no... I'm sure the guys will love it though."

Melvin who happened to be sititing in the chair when the man sat down, was now in the corner having some sort of a nervous breakdown. He had sat right through Melvin, and this was more than Melvin could take.

"I don't know what kind of tricksters you are, but get the hell out of my house!" He put forth all the effort he could to be heard. the only indication that anything was heard was the young man saying "Gosh, must be windy outside."

So while Melvin tried to cope with the fact that he had no reflection, something he hadn't noticed before, no one could hear him and he could very well be dead, 6 young college guys moved into his home, the most annoeying of which took his attic as a bed room, played loud music, had posters of half naked women, and puppy that chewed and peed on everything. Melvin was in hystarics. The guys became aware of the annoeying howling sound that occured wind be damned. They attributed it to being an old house.

Finnally Melvin had had enough. He had finnally decided that yes he must be dead. He wasn't tottally sure about how to go on further than that, but be figured all he had to do was try with enough effort. But before he was going to do that, he had to get those hooligans out of his house and away from his book collection. So he made a plan.

He waited for a night for them to be sober, which took a good deal of waiting, and then he went to work. He removed all the nasty posters whcih took a lot of effert not being coporial, and arranged them down the hall in such a way that they read get out. The guys thought it was some kind of weird joke and were discussing leaving the atrosity up, when Melvin put his next plan in action. He killed their power. While they looked for candles he rearranged the naked girls so that they said "NOW" when the boys assembled in the hall and saw the posters, they began to demand which one was doing it.

Melvin then mustered all of his strength and yelled "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" HE created such a wind force it blew out their candles, the guys with flash lights stared as Melvin slowly began to form in the hall way. Makeing all the nudy girl poster rise off the wall. The guys began to run and Melvin chased them out wiht the nudy girl posters.

The next morning the guys returned for their stuff and never came back. A For Sale Sign was reposted, but rumors had gotten around that the house was haunted. Melvin had given up trying to move on, he decided that being able to read in the prvacy of his own attic was heaven enough for him and besides, he kind of delighted in scaring away new commers. He used the nudy posters to chase people out, since none of the guys wanted them after that little scene. The realestate agent always tried to thrown them out, but Melvin would find them in the trash and bring them back in and arrange them how he liked. And he existed happily ever after.

the end

moral: It's good to keep nudy posters around to scare people away

146 okies well i think we can at least try to start appriciating fall now, even though they're all ready running christmas commericals AND it is 80 degrees today. Figure that one out.

Silly story 146

The Little Leaf's Adventure.

Flaky was a little leaf. He was attatched to one of the top branches of the highest tree. He had fun dancing in the wind, soakin gup the sun, and chatting with the other leaves. Sometime so many of them were talking at once it was almost impossible to hear. Flaky was a young leaf. One of his favorite pass times was to listen to the old leaves and their tree, Barksy, tell the story of the up coming Drop.

Flaky for one lookd forward to the Drop. It sounded so exciting. All the leaves would change color and then leave their tree base to go and explore the world. What a wonderful adventure! Flaky waited and waited, soon it was all he could talk about, even though the hot summer sun was still blazing down on him.

Finnally Flaky turned a bright red color and he watched as one by one his friends took their Drop. When it was his turn he took a deep breath and made a terrible mistake. He looked down, really looked down. Not like when he would stop and watch passerbys and puppys chasing squirels.

"Oh my!" said Flaky, "It's so far down." He found himself frightened and dispite the efforts of the toehr leaves, unable to take the Drop. A few stayed with him until they just couldn't stand it any longer. "The season for us will soon be over and then we'll be covered in snow!" said Leela his friend, "I simply can't wait any longer. " and she dropped.

Soon Flaky was all alond on his tree. HE could still look down and see most of his friends. They had n't gone far. He smiled, see they're on no adveture he tried to tell himself. If he yelled really loud, sometimes they could hear him and answer, but they usually told him to Drop. Then one day a huge wind came and blew all the other leaves away. Flaky didn't know what to do. Not only did he only have Barksy to talk to (who was going on in age and a little senile) but everyone else WAS on an adventure. Flaky still did not have the courage to Drop.

Then one day Barksy said to him, "Well I guess you can stay on, I've never had a leaf to talk to in winter. they all go on adventures. You know you guys have interesting perspectives. But I warn you it gets pretty cold up there at the top. I'm use to it you know. But anyway we can talk about ... well I can tell you my life story." Flaky sighed, he had already heard Barksy's life story 6 times. Flaky like Barksy but didn't know if he could stnad the story again. "Droppng is the right thing to do isn't it?" asked Flaky. "All perspective" said Barsky.

Finally after much dilberation Flaky decided to make his drop. He lethimself go and yelled bye to barksy. He made it 5 feet and he was caught up by a bird. HE demanded to be put down, but the bird carried him far far far away, farther than any of the leafs traveled in thier first few days. He was dropped on a roof and added to a pile of twigs and cotton and another leaf named Mapelet. Flaky was sad when he found out he was part of a nest. He would never see the world now.

But it wasn't long before Flaky made friends with Mapelet who had wonderful stories about the other side of town and Flaky shared stories back. Mapelet was from the buisness district and Flaky from the park district so they had loads to talk about. They also both took a likeing for the little birds that were born in their nest early the next spring and while they never again saw more than the underside of an abandoned deck, they lived happily ever after with a odd kind of family, which is more than many many leaves could say for themselves about their adventure.

the end

moral: late bloomers are for the birds. (happy birds, but birds nonetheless.)

147okies well i think we can at least try to start appriciating fall now, even though they're all ready running christmas commericals AND it is 80 degrees today. Figure that one out.

Silly story 147

The Little Leaf's Adventure.

Flaky was a little leaf. He was attatched to one of the top branches of the highest tree. He had fun dancing in the wind, soakin gup the sun, and chatting with the other leaves. Sometime so many of them were talking at once it was almost impossible to hear. Flaky was a young leaf. One of his favorite pass times was to listen to the old leaves and their tree, Barksy, tell the story of the up coming Drop.

Flaky for one lookd forward to the Drop. It sounded so exciting. All the leaves would change color and then leave their tree base to go and explore the world. What a wonderful adventure! Flaky waited and waited, soon it was all he could talk about, even though the hot summer sun was still blazing down on him.

Finnally Flaky turned a bright red color and he watched as one by one his friends took their Drop. When it was his turn he took a deep breath and made a terrible mistake. He looked down, really looked down. Not like when he would stop and watch passerbys and puppys chasing squirels.

"Oh my!" said Flaky, "It's so far down." He found himself frightened and dispite the efforts of the toehr leaves, unable to take the Drop. A few stayed with him until they just couldn't stand it any longer. "The season for us will soon be over and then we'll be covered in snow!" said Leela his friend, "I simply can't wait any longer. " and she dropped.

Soon Flaky was all alond on his tree. HE could still look down and see most of his friends. They had n't gone far. He smiled, see they're on no adveture he tried to tell himself. If he yelled really loud, sometimes they could hear him and answer, but they usually told him to Drop. Then one day a huge wind came and blew all the other leaves away. Flaky didn't know what to do. Not only did he only have Barksy to talk to (who was going on in age and a little senile) but everyone else WAS on an adventure. Flaky still did not have the courage to Drop.

Then one day Barksy said to him, "Well I guess you can stay on, I've never had a leaf to talk to in winter. they all go on adventures. You know you guys have interesting perspectives. But I warn you it gets pretty cold up there at the top. I'm use to it you know. But anyway we can talk about ... well I can tell you my life story." Flaky sighed, he had already heard Barksy's life story 6 times. Flaky like Barksy but didn't know if he could stnad the story again. "Droppng is the right thing to do isn't it?" asked Flaky. "All perspective" said Barsky.

Finally after much dilberation Flaky decided to make his drop. He lethimself go and yelled bye to barksy. He made it 5 feet and he was caught up by a bird. HE demanded to be put down, but the bird carried him far far far away, farther than any of the leafs traveled in thier first few days. He was dropped on a roof and added to a pile of twigs and cotton and another leaf named Mapelet. Flaky was sad when he found out he was part of a nest. He would never see the world now.

But it wasn't long before Flaky made friends with Mapelet who had wonderful stories about the other side of town and Flaky shared stories back. Mapelet was from the buisness district and Flaky from the park district so they had loads to talk about. They also both took a likeing for the little birds that were born in their nest early the next spring and while they never again saw more than the underside of an abandoned deck, they lived happily ever after with a odd kind of family, which is more than many many leaves could say for themselves about their adventure.

the end
moral: late bloomers are for the birds. (happy birds, but birds nonetheless.)

148 More fall fun ahead, but first a little buissness. The silly porn inc page is up on the site. I really suggest looking at it, it's got Jessica Rabbit on it. I'm going to give it another week or two before sending becuase their are several people who I have not heard one way or the other on the silly porn issue. which brings me to my next state of buissness. IMPORTANT: xxI'm going to do a clean sweep of the list. So Please respond or send me an email within the next two weeks or so so that I know not to delete you. I think I will send out a separate email to varify. Responding is a fun way to keep in touch and allows for inside jokes like the gnomes, but there are some people i haven't gotten anything from in a rEALLY long time. So this is a way to make sure they are still recieving the emails and to see if they are still interested.xx so let me know one way or the other. if I receive nothing I will assume you are not recieving the emails/wrong address and delete it from the list. Now that the dirty stuff is taken care of, Those of you following my Live Journal Only story Broken Voices, I have posted a new chapter. I may add this story to my site as well, if you wish to read it in a whole piece. Ok now on with the light hearted goodness.ok now the fall fun !

Silly Story 148

Leaf Pile

Running, running, runnning, running, running, running.. panting panting panting panting. Damn, I'm too tierd. It's no no no I'm not too tierd picking up pace .... running. I can see it up ahead. Full of color... Full of brown and red and yellow.... So full so tall!

Oh the leaves! All the leaves so many many many leaves! It's the biggest pile of leaves Ive ever raked up. It's the tallest pile the widest pile, the deepest pile! I can't wait... panting panting panting panting. running running running running...

I'm taking the longest run, to get the fastest speed. I'm going to soar! I'm going to soar through the air and land in the center, the dead center! There's no twigs.. I hope there' s not twigs... I made certain there's not BIG twigs anyway. Oh this is going to be great! running running running..

No Sparky! Get away dog! This is my pile. Goooooood Boy! Now watch out, I'm coming I'm running I'm going to jump I'm going to sore I'm going to - NO!
Running stops.
Panting stops.
Mouth driops open in a gasp,
It's the biggest biggest biggest wind I've ever seen! It's like a small tornado, a colorful tornado of reds and browns and yellows! I watch as the massive collasual rushing, fast, very fast, lofty but fast fast fast wind picks up my pile, my beautiful pile and twists it, pulls it, throws it into the wind and up into the sky, down the street, into the sides of houses, back into the trees, browns and reds and yellows all over, all over the yard, the neighbors yard and I turn
and I look

at the flat patch of grass scattered with browns, and reds, and yellows stretched out in place of, where use to be, the biggest, best pile of leaves ever, that I ever saw and where I, I was going to, going to saor into, out of the sky and skatter. Me! I was going to skatter the browns and reds and yellows, all over everywhere and watch them collaspe around me, around my face, covering the sky from view, covering me!
but
but the pile is gone. The wind took my jump. The wind took my skatter, my glory, reds and browns and yellows.
The wind
to my back and dying down, my panting returning and slowing.. I pick up my rake, and I ,
I begin again.

the end
moral: he who hesitates too long for perfection, does it twice anyway.

149

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