the end
moral: your tv show will never make it if the someone can't take over the world in the pilot.
134
Hola my readers. Those of you who don't know, Pinky is away at chores and will in Indy July 30th. We are planning a road/camping trip to go and see her. To get into the show is a lil pricy, but not that im encourageing this, but there are ways around that... If anyone can go or wants to let me know. Also tis my Birthday tomarrow Yes! Turning 21 on a friday. My fam is going to be at Zapata around 6 for dinner and to see me. There will be kareoke and you are welcome to come if you want, but there will be a lot of ppl there and i know sum ppl are uncomfortable with beucoup amounts of family. At anyrate just a few of us, me chris, chloe sarah angel Jon? are going to getting together at my place after to sip tasty beverage adn hang out out back. call for details. WARNING: I do not plan on getting drunk, but do plan on trying several beverages. I have a LOW LOW LOW tolerence, so it is enevitable that i will most likely get drunk. I apologize if I offend someone. Now to the real buisness,
Silly Story I'm really lazy about looking up the numbers (134)
The Hugging Platapus
This made Donald sad. He was never mean to teh Zoo keepers, not that he paid them much attention either. He thought that maybe that was it. That they thought he was snobing them. So he decided starting the very next day to be uncontrolably nice to them, so they would give him a friend.
When the man came to feed him in the morning he jumped up and down and tried to tell him thank you. The man didn't seem to speak duck billed platapus so Donald decided to give him a hug. He ran over and wrapped himself aroudn the man's leg. The man seemed startled and tried to kick him off. Donald held on tighter thinking the man had mistaken his hug for a handshake.
The man ran out of the cage with Donald still attached occasionally shaking his leg. He didn't know what to do, neither did Donald, He had never been outside of his pen before. The man went to get some help. When Donal saw the other zoo keeper he decided to hug him to. And so it went for hours upon hours. Everytime a nw person entered Donald would hug them till someone else came. One woman even tried removing her pants to remove Donald. Donald thought she simply beleived him to be cold.
No one could get rid of donald, and they wre perplexed becasue he wasn't being violent just very sociable. One man did not shake his leg, so Donald began to rock back and forth to intiate teh shaking ritual. The man was very offended about this and screamed"oh my goodness he wants to mate with me!" Donald was knocked out.
When he woke up he was in a cage with a very beautiful platapus name Dolly. They became the best of friends and eventually fell in love. Donald was always nice to the zoo keepers from then on out but decided that hugging was too much work so he simply blows them kisses now.
the end
moral: to get what you want you have to beleive people think you are an asshole.
138 ((number jump do to found stories that were once lost))
Hello faithful readers, sorry it has taken me a bit to catch up on everything. Some good news though.
The site has been updated :)
Also I found 3 lost stories and your responses, I've posted them and given those of you who responded credit, for old time sake I even posted the responses. I may start doing this again in the near future, but for the time being, I will only be counting your responses to give you credit for them.
Also we have a new member, her name is Mickey. she;s a doll. :) I will be writing her intiation story soon.
http://www.angelfire.com/la3/nightengale8402/index.html
on with the show.
SS 138
Your Local News Cast for September 8th 2005.
Smy: Hi, I'm Smy L. Biggs
Bud: and I'm Bud News
Both: And we're bringing you your local news for thursday septemeber 8th
Bud: Gee I hope it's nasty.
Smy: Don't you ever read ahead on the promter?
Bud: What's a prompter?
Smy: Like cue cards.
Bud: cuuuue.... cards... hm no no, can't say that I do. Wouldnt that be convient.
SMy: Yes, well. Anyway folks I'm proud to announce that the president had a lovely vacation with few interruptions one minor bad dream about a giant pretz-
Bud: Wait! What! Excuse me, I think I'm fairly good at pointing out bad news even if it doesn't exist, so do you think I'm going to let you ignore the hurricane?
Smy: Well the president did. Next in the news we have a heart warming story about a kitten that was saved by a small cripled boy.
Bud: Excuse me, can't we focus on something a little more grusome.
Smy: Why on earth would any fine upstanding news station want to do anything like that.
Bud: (shaking head) Today, in the news, a small kitten was run over by a truck full of dogs, apparantly the dogs were playing online poker on their lap tops and could not see to drive.
Smy: What on earth are you talking about?
Bud: I could resort to the stories about old ladies robbing convenent shops.
Smy: Whatever would they steal?
Bud. hm. Depends (bud burst out laughing)
Smy: Depends on what? Why are you laughing? I don't get it. ... Oh I give up. Oh wait! We have a breaking story! Gas prices have gone down a whole dollor!!! WE go to Ian Urfase on the scene. Ian.
Ian: ... Yes Smy it seems that gas prices have dramatically dropped at this one gas station, every car has swirved off the road to try and get gas... although the people at the pumps don't seem to happy, let me see if I can get a comment from this scarred and frighten and slightly frantic counter boy...... Excuse me, sir what seems to be the problem?
Counter boy: I was just trying to raise gas prices another50 cents and I accidently knocked off the three on the price sign, revealing the two I was too lazy to take off last time. It is tottaly anarchy here. They're getting to the pumps, and gas is high and-
Random gas pumper: 3:70!!! Why You dirty little liar!! (man grabs window squeegy and begins running toward camera)
counter boy: AHHHhHhhhhhhhh (runs away chased by other pumpers of gas with their squeegies.)
Ian: Well as you can see folks, gas has in fact not gone down. (There is a stamped of people getting out of their cars to yell and join the chase even though they don't know what is going on.) IT is tottal anarchy and ahhh up (ian is trampled by random old lady who is not part of the stamped but in fact stealing depends from a near by store and taking advantage of the crowd. The camera man is taken out next.)
Smy: WEll ! That is just horrible.
Bud: Did you see that old lady??
SMy: iT is now time for the weather, we go to Sonny Skyes, Sonny.
Sonny: Well, as you can probably guess it is going to be sunny. Not that it matters. You will probably all be locked inside. With air condition. Freezing. I don't know why you even bother to listen to me. Or turn me on for the matter. IT's not like you care, it's not like you REALLY care. You all have your climate controls and don't give a hoot about real nature. Well I'll show you REAL nature (Sonny begins to undo his pants. There is a sudden cut back to SMy and Bud, who is picking his nose.HE stops doing it. HE keeps his eyes on the camera and wipes his bugger on SMy's sleeve.)
Smy: Oh My...
Bud: Sports! Let's just get to sports. Iwana always has some saucy little tale.
Smy: Did you jsut wipe something on me?
Bud: Iwana Winn?
Iwana: Yes, well as you all know all those big hot sexy buff football players are getting ready, or maybe they're already ready... at any rate I went into the locker rooms to get a few comments. (begins to blush) and well... I can't seem to find my notes... or my tape recorder... or my panties... hmmm Anyway I think it's going to be a lovely season. Those boys are sure full of energy. And Muscle, big hot sweaty-
Smy: Right! WEllI'm afraid we are yet again out of time. So keep your eyes to the skies
Bud: Your nose to the ground
Smy: and your ears somewhere in between
Bud: And we'll be sure to bring you soem horrible news
Smy: Wonderful news
Bud: next time.
Smy: over and out. (turning to bud) now will you please explain to me what was so funny aboutaht old women and what on earth is this on my sleeve?
BABAGBBABABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADADADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA tink
the end
moral: If you're going to steal depends, wait for gas prices to change and be your distraction
139ok trying to stay on top of things here. So here it is :) this is inspired by when me mickey and cory went swimming lol
Silly story 139
Loopy Pool Dogs
Spot, Skittles, and Scruffy were out for their daily swim. Spot was a dalmation who was a little bit loopy and not the best swimmer, but he went along with Scruffy adn Skittles because he ejoyed their company. He was also the tallest. Scruffy was a pomeranian who was very happy and chipper all the time. Sometimes she forgot where she lived and lost her toys in silly places like in her bed, but she was everyone's friend. Skittles was a jack russel terrior. She was too hiper for her own good some time. In fact the quality that they all shared and it was quite endearing was their loopyness.
they enjoyed swiming in the heated in ground pool behind the big house where a dog named Sari lived. From what they could tell she lived there with only a butler who got drunk a lot. Sari did not disapprove of the other dog's swimming, but she was sad. She had obidence training that started shortly after the dogs came to swim in her pool. Not tomention there was no doggie door and she had to be let outside. She had learned from watching the cat run into the glass door several times that there wa s no point in trying on her own. She was sad because the reason she was going to obidience school was because she kept chewing up history books. In her defence, not that she could articulate this to the stupid butler or her rich masters, she was reading the books and only had her teeth to turn the pages.
She watched as the other dogs splashed and played in the warm sun.Occasionaly she would run back and forth the length of the house jumping up at windows to see if she was staying with them. Scruffy ran across the little diving board and jumped in with her legs in the air and barking loudly a happy bark. Spot tried hopelessly to swim gracefully. Skittles doggie paddled back and forth and chased the bees away from the pool. Sari sat at the window and pouted.
One day while Scruffy was souring through the air and trying to remember how she had gotten up there in the first place she saw Sari jumping up in the kitchen window. When she told the other dogs she though another dog lived there, they didn't believe her. She was known for seeing things and hearing things. So Skittles went to investigate. Spot was going to go but he was deftly afraid of butterflies and there were two of them on the patio.
Skittles went up to the door and barked a few times. Sari came rushing to the door. Skittles was suprised but offered a kind greeting. Scruffy ran up to say hi as well, Spot yelled hi from the pool and then went udner water to avoid the vicious butterflies. Sari explained her situation. Skittles thought it over. Scruffy thought it over. They came up with an eleborate plan on hwo to get her out. Since Spot was dying to get away from the butterfilies and the butler was too drunk to notice anyway, they would sent Spot in her place. "But he's a dalmation! and I'm a retriever!" said Sari. "Adn the butler is drunk as a skunk!" said Scruffy. So when it was time for Sari to go to obeidence school, skittles darted out and tripped the butler. Scruffy helped Spot get into Sari's collar and then ran away before he could notice. For effect of some sort they put a mop on Spot's head. IT worked for about thrity seconds. The butler had only had two beers that after noon and the mop fell off at the end of the walk.
So they agreed to come at a different time the next day so Sari could swim as they ran away fromthe butler down the street.
The next day, as promised they came at a different time, which was a bit of an in convience for them. Sari had made sure to shove something in an open window to keep it from falling shut so she could get out. The dogs waited for her in the pool. Full of enthusiam she ran and jumped in. When she surfaced she was greated with "Don't you love it!" "Isn't it soothing!" and" This is great, right!"
Sari's eyebrows rose and she whined. She didn't like it at all. She didn't like how her fur felt wet and she hated to smellof the chorline. She got out as quick as she could. The other dogs didn't understand her at all. She dried off. She told them she preferred to watch. and went back to the house.
So she did. She continued to watch as she did before, and when her masters returned from Europe she made sure to distract them from noticeding the other dogs in their pool. she soemtimes would even put on good music for them to swim to and tell them jokes through the screnes. They became good friends. But Sari never tried to swim again.
the end
moral: Your water is always bluer filled with another dog's fur.
140no intro. just here it is.
Silly story 140
Betsy and Mitsy
Betsy and Mitsy were the best of friends. They were friends since they were in diapers. Then in the 6th grade, Mitsy moved across town and began attending a different school. Still every friday and Saturday they saw each other and called each other everynight. The High School hit, and Betsy got a boyfriend and spent her Fridays with him. Mitsy got a boyfriend to and spent her Saturdays with him. They still kept in touch on the phone.
But all through highschool they only met face to face one more time. When their boyfriends broke up with them and they went out for ice cream. They said they'd do it again. Never did. They still called every night. Then they went to college. Misty went out west and Betsy stayed in the middle, near home. Different schedules, their phone calls dwindles to email and letters. They stopped sending pictures almost immediately. They always stayed in touch, on email.
30 years after graduation Betsy left her husband for a 28 yearold supermodel named Ted. She moved with him to California where Misty also was living. She sent her an email saying they should get together. They agreed on a place.
Misty arrived and began to look for her life friend. Then it occurred to her. She hadn't seen or spoken to her friend in over 30 years. How would she find her? She sighed, I'll know her when I see her. After awhile she didn't see anyone who she thought fit her friend. She bumped into a woman about her age at the bagel tray. They have some kind chit chat about the bagels. Mitsy said she liked Fagel's Bagel's down the road a lot better than these. The woman scoffed and said that FAgel's Bagel's tasted like ass. The women got into a hot debate over bagels which eventually branched out into things like dogs in reastruants and underwear models.
The two 52yr old woman got into a bitch slap fight. They got arrested for cause trouble at the Bagel House. They sat on opposite sides of the cell bitching at each other and calling each others cunts and whores and ass lickers all night long.
In the morning they were both hoarse, soar and full of hatrad for eachother. Mitsy was sad, because she was sure Betsy would think she hadn't showed up and she didn't have her number, how stupid. "Ihope your happy," sid the evil woman, " I hadn't seen my friend in over 30 years and because of you I won't see her." Mitsy scoffed, then stopped and asked her to repeat herself.
"Are you stupid?" the woman replied. I was going to meet my friend-"
"No!" Mitsy got excited. "I was going to meet MY friend who I hadn't seen in 30yrs at least!"
"Culd it be?" said the woman.
There was a moment of hopeful silence and confusion. Then they hugged and danced around. They were dancing and laughing at themselves and their stupidity. They heard a small uncertain "um" behind them and turned. Another woman about their age was peering into the cell looking confused.
"Mitsy??"
Mitsy stopped dancing and looked at the woman she was hugging and then back at the woman on the other side of the bars. "Betsy?" She asked the woman she was huggin.
"No Helga." the woman replied and looked at her and asked "Cynthia?"
"Nope." said Mitsy. The woman immediately stopped hugging.
"Bagel trolllip"
"Dounut whore"
Betsy later explained that her car had broken down and when she got there there was a huge mess and when she asked what happened they said two women got in a fight and were arrested.After waiting a while she came here just to check on a wild whim tha tit might be Mitsy.
Cynthia showed up about 5minutes later looking for Helga. She was caught in traffic because some "bimbo's" car broke down in the middle of the lane.
After the bail was posted they all went back to the bagel shop, had bagels, and never met in person again.
the end
moral: Your cellmate may be your best friend or your next enemy if bagels are involved
141
Incase I don't get around to sending out the paper invites int he mail, you are all invited to my Halloween Party on Oct 22end. It is a Saturday. It starts at 7:30 and goes all night. Movie night starts around 12:30am. There will be lots of sweets, games, fun, including: naughty pinata, body twister, a costume contest, and a witch hunt. Not to mention my awesome decorations and spooky atmosphere. So come on out if you can make it. It'd be nice to see you guys.
It's a gloomy kind of day. all raining and its going to get cool now. that is nice. So here's a story that may or may not reflect that.
I just spilled hot chocolate on myself. i will now smell chocolately.
SIlly story 141
A Drip and a Spark
Drip was a little water genie. He was in charge of making it rain. Rather, he was in charge of making it start to rain. If his older brother Splash didn't come in and make it really start to rain, he could maintain a quite pleasent sprinkle. It hadn't rained in awhile, that is to say, it hadn't started raining with a lite drizzle in awhile because Drip was beside himself. Drip was in love.
Drip was so madly inlove it was all he could think about. He would fly around the sky snipping her name into the clouds, which made Puffs and Shade quite cranky. The couldn't make him stay away from their clouds becuase he needed them to make it drizzle, and that was the natural ways of things. Drip wrote songs dedicated to his love and tried to teach them to the birds. He tried to name things after her as well, but Mother Nature sent him a kind warning notice abouthow he was very playful, but nameing things was not up to him. That was for the Muses, not the Genies. Drip had gone on in this happy state for quite some time, until one day he was informed of something that made him very said indeed. He could never be with his love.
Drip was in love Spark, the daughter of Burn and Sunbeam. She was Heat Nimpf. Her lob was in away a mischeivious one. She helped start fires. She could aim her Father's heat and her mother's light so intensly that she could create actual sparks of flames. She was away learning with Mother NAture how and when it was good to start a forest fire, or crop fire to burn out the old and renew the soil. Drip had met her the Convention of Magical NAture Beings the year before. They had shared some delicious dessert and a few dances, adn she had been on his mind ever since. Occasionally she sent him letters about her progress. Apparatnly her aim was still off a bit because she had set Mother NAture's hat on fire.
Drip was prancing around the cloud kigdom laughing and laughing at the afair, becuase he was sure she'd get her aim down soon. And he wasn't so sure that it was a compelte accident anyway. When he knocked over Terenchal's Water buckets adn created a small flood in the land below. "You idiot!" thundered Terenchal, 'Look what you've done!"
"I'm sorry," said Drip, "I'll pay better attention next time. I was just caught up in something from a letter from Spark. You know her eyes are just hte prettiest shade of-" "Like I give a damn!" Yelled Terenchal," That doesnt; give you the right to cause small flash floods on the humans and animals below! You know, you get on everyone nerves! IT doens't matter if you're in love, you know why! You're so stupid, everyoen knows that heat nymphs and water genies cant' be together and procreate, heat evaporates water, and water puts out fire. Now get outta my sight, I have to go have a talk with Arrid."
Drip ran away and began crying. Ever since then he had stopped working, and had been hiding in the clouds. Spark's unansered letters began to pile up around him. Until one day he recieved a speacial visit. Drip was crying into the cloud and unconciously creating a constant drizzle ont he land below him. Until he felt a shadow abovehim. He turned slowly and then popped straight up and tried to get into attention. "Yes mother nature, the pleasure, do I owe , I mean I want to , I the , the pleaseue is all yours, I mean mine I mean nice to see you I think, why, why... why are you here? I mean not to be rude your heiness I mean Mother I mean-" Drip just dropped and began crying again. Mother Nature smiled softly and sat on a near by cloud puff and picked up one of SPark's letters. "You know, Spark is just beside herself as well. I came to see why you were ignoring my dear fire starter, making her set unnecessary things on fire all over the world. Now I understand, you are just in self pitty for no apparant reason. This of course makes everything ok." Drip stopped huffing to explain himself. He told her everything. "I see," said mother nature," You know Drip you should have a little more faith in the world. You should know that everything needs everything. Fire does need a little water to get going you know, and if every rain chilled people to the bone, not half would find it so pleasing and speacial." Drip looked up hopefully,"are yous aying we can that is I can see her! I can marry her even!" "Of course silly," said Mother Nature "I always thought you were smarter than that hot tempered Terenchal. You know I had a talk with him and he is sorry about what he said, though, only becuase you inconsistant drizzle is messing everything up." Drip promtly apologized, thanked mother nature adn ran out to see Spark. She was still a little angry with Drip for not even checking up on the information, but she eventually forgave him. They were married within the year and lived happily ever after. Eventuallyt hey gave birth to their daughter Humidity, which is why some people still debate to this day whether their union was a good idea. But they don't care, espeacialy Humidity. When people start to bitch, she just lays it on stronger.
the end
moral:There's always a way, even if it makes other people miserable.