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Hola sexy bitches!!!! Yes you Are! woo ok, that's enough of an ego pump, crawl back under your rocks now. It's silly story time ooo eee ooo. I guess that's good considering my silly mood :-D . Alright enough of that too... hmmm I think it's time to initiate Ian already. Ok so here we goes.
Breaking Ian's Phone
There was one of the most adorable gay boys you'd ever meet, but this is a different story. This story is about Ian. The second most adorable gay boy you could ever -- Ooo wait... He what? Oooo That's no good. Apparently the First gay boy just got trampled by a moose... So This IS a story about the most adorable gay boy you;d ever meet! As I was saying this boy, Ian, had a phone.
There was a problem with Ian's phone... make that several problems. Besides that fact that it didn't ring when it was anyone important (like his friends!) called, and the fact that it rattled when shook (for no apparent reason) it would also often sign him on line and hit on woman. So Ian took it to the cranky phone doctor located in the cingular store in Fairview. After making him wait several weeks for no reason other than the gay phone nurse though Ian was cute and enjoyed receiving phone calls from him, the phone was fixed.
Only to break yet again. This time the phone suffered such problems as randomly calling 900 numbers (he swears it was the phone), sending profane text messages to nuns, and the complete refusal of the number 3 key to work. So again, after long weeks, it was fixed. And it broke again.
This cycle continued for well not that long before Ian was quite fed up with the whole matter. The Cingular place agreed to replace the phone, with one exactly like it. This seemed like a crappy idea. So Ian had a genus plan. He would break the phone *(that shouldn't be hard) beyond repair and pay the $50 installment and get a new cooler camera phone.
So the plotting began, immediately. Ian began to drop his phone on a regular basis. Amazingly this only fixed the problems he was currently having with it. A bit perplexed, Ian took advantage of the craptacular southern Illinois weather and dropped the phone in a puddle on a rainy day. Nothing happed. He tried dropping it in a toilet, but someone found it and returned it. He tried not to accept it, but they promised the cleaned it and fixed something that was wrong with it. (Plus threatened to run up his phone bill)
So Ian tried running the damn thing over. Still it would not break. He backed over it. Nothing. He was becoming frustrated with his phone utter refusal to cooperate.
So Ian and his phone went to the Cingular store. They were issued in store therapy. The phone came out with a lot repressed feelings, about how Ian didn't let it hit on the other gay phones when they went out together, and how it had always wanted to be a palm pilot but just couldn't make the cut. Ian said he never realized. In the end, Ian and his phone made up. They promised to never fight again!!
But on the way out of the therapy Ian accidentally dropped the phone and it shattered. No one understood the cruel, cruel turn of events, maybe the phone was just past due.
Luckily he was still in the Cingular shop. Ian, out of respect for his old friend, got a phone (with the exception that it was well psychologically adjusted) just like it. They have been good friends ever since, and Ian even lets it make eyes at the other gay phones. On Tuesday they baked a keesh
The End
Moral: You can push your friends buttons and even run them over with your truck but in the end, they'll still expect you to hook them up on dates. RESPONSES: jeingram83: keesh is spelled quiche
jeingram83: i don't know why i know that
NightenGale8402: lol oo a response!!!!!
jeingram83: that's the closest thing you're getting to a response. :-P
NightenGale8402: it counts aim coutns!! yay
NightenGale8402: teehee
jeingram83: good job
NightenGale8402: thanks :-) ( - Jim) Aww, this was too cute! I'm glad that Ian and his phone made peace in the end, before the phone died. And I'm glad the new phone is well-adjusted. What I don't understand is why the first phone didn't share his feelings earlier. It would've saved a lot of energy and spared a few bruises if it hadn't repressed its emotions all that time. Besides, that's not healthy. Poor phone though. That is tragic what happened to it, but I'm glad Ian and his new phone are getting dates. :-).
Kyla the giving a presentation tomorrow and hasn't started on the stuff
Meagan~
Did the phone by chance get blueberry syrup on his
safari jacket? I am glad that Ian and his phone made
up. That makes me happy. I wonder if his new phone
makes eyes at my phone? Hmmmmmmmm
Sarah NightenGale8402: is your phone gay?
NightenGale8402: lol
sarigirl7: i don't know
sarigirl7: haven't asked lately (- Sarah) :) awww poor phone, ian, why be so mean??? its just not cool! plus, if you want to break it, take it to schnucks and drop it,, it works like a charm :) although.. mine broke and i didnt want it to :( i love you baby whereever youare... anyways so yea, fab story meagan, although i think that mean little basterd ian should pay for what he did to his poor helpless nun-violating phone!!!
PinkyPoo I really enjoyed the moral of this story...it sounds like something that would come out of a greeting card or something but yet it has a humorous tone to it. Anyway, my brain apparently has lost all oxygen to it otherwise I wouldn't be rambling on and on like this. Well, once again..I LOVED the story! Keep up the good work and beware of creepy midnight callers on the new phone...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!(Evil laugh)
-kendra okay so, I feel ians pain. My phone doesn't tell me
when I miss calls or when I have voicemails. One time
I checked my email to play one of my funny saved
messages for a friend and It turned out that I had
three unheard messages. Anyway, I enjoyed the story,
luckily Ian had a good initiation story with out
anything embarrassing except for the nuns (what was
that) moving on, I liked the story. Really it was
wonderful.
morgan the purchasing a new phone and plan this
weekend
yeah for this story!!!! I was a huge fan of the first the first line of the e-mail I thought it was funny...I also liked the use of a random moose
Courtney the drained after too many tests and papers Wonderful! I feel special that I have now been a Silly Story! I had no
clue my phone was a homosexual!!!! Guess you learn something new everyday!
You all you dirty little bastards, I'm off!!!!
Kisses
Ian
Such a cute story! I loved it! And yes, Ian IS the most adorable gay guy
on the planet! Go Ian! I loved the gay phone! How awesome! This story
rocked! ~Krazy love krista~
114 Well it's time for a another silly story. my head is killing me so I am trying to decide how to go about this. it's not even 9pm and I feel like going to bed. Isn't that special?? Before we go another step further, we have a message from he local phone company . Singular T-Verison.
So, as we were saying, This product was marketed by Courtney the new marketing manager. (look for more commercials from your sponsor Singular T-Verison, in the future) I guess we;ll get on with this story shin dig. I considered doing that murder mystery deal but I don't think I have the head for it tonight. so lets get on top of this simple thing.
Silly Story 114
Coupletinville VS.. Singletinville
Singletonville is an adorable little town full of one bedroom apartments, party houses, and the most adorable little bungalows one could ever see. Everything is open 24 hours. Their are group discounts galore. If you would enter a restraunt in Singletonville, you would find that there are very few tables for two. Tables usually are arranged for one, four, or more. There is always a party going on in Singletonville. Not everyone attends these parties, but usually are amused by them none the less. Most people are friendly, and if you want to get hit on it's the place to be.
There are three kinds of people in Singletonville. Those who are just arriving (first timers or those floating down Broken Heart River), those who have been there awhile and aspire to leave someday, and those who have taken up a permanent resident. These people have large "Go Away" signs posted to the doors of their homes and live on the "lesser" side of town. Many of them become extremely friendly after dark however.
There are only certain ways out of Singletonville. There is a nice little travel agency on the edge of town that holds brochures and travel plans for Coupletenville. There are those that chose to spend little time in the agency. They rush out steal a plane off the back and parachute out of it into Coupletenville. No plans ever land in Coupletonville. Then there is the option of renting a hot air balloon over the Not Quite Mounds. This is a slow easy floaty trip over. Or you can do what most tend to do and walk. Usually you can catch a bus to the middle of Inbetween Valley if you choose to. If you do this you can then decide to wait for the Amtrak to take you to the base of the Not Quite Mounds.
Once at the mounds its really up to you. You can climb up Mount On-N-Off-Gan with your little back packs, hike over Seein U Hill, or find Steady Trail hidden between the peeks.
However this trip is made, it is never made alone. Sometimes one person turns back before the other and this is sad. The last one to leave stands in the valley for a night alone. Sometimes start up Mount On-N-Off-Gan and cant' take it. Whatever the case, it starts with two people.
Coupletinville is a different story. Once they arrive in Coupletinville, they get a nice one bedroom house, or apartment or what not. There are a lot more dinner parties than there are in Singletonville. Valentines Day is a National Holiday. There are lots of Church Chapels and Wedding counselors. There are a lot of really comfortable people in Coupletonville. There are those that live in the Rockier part closer to the mountains, but for the most part things are gravy. There are less clubs and tons of romantic little reastraunts. Every thing is done by even numbers. Not every thing is open twenty-four hours, but there is a lot of snuggling.
There are only three ways out of Coupletinville. Down Broken River, through the underground Creeper Caves, and back over Mount On-N-Off-Gan. The Creeper Caves close by the light of day, so those venturing through them can only stay in Singletonville for a short while. The entrance is near the travel agency in Coupletonville (with brochures for Singletonville) Then there is the river. If you are given a boat by your Coupleton partner and you don't want it, this is not good. You must take the journey up Broken Heart river in a paddle boat. Your partner takes a row boat. If your partner is dead... well you still need to take a journey up in a paddle boat. Sometimes, you can still a motor boat. The boats are never allowed to stay in Singletonvile. There is not tying them up. They must float back down stream to be claimed by someone else.
Sometimes while still in the bay of the river, these people will mingle with civilians, but run into their ex and float back down the river.
In truth it is a very complex system, but both are beautiful places, although depending where you are in your journeys you may view one differently from time to time. Wherever you rest your head, be thankful for the good side of town.
The End
Moral: If you want to make it big in the travel industry, move to the edge of the Not Quite Mounds. RESPONSES:
Meagan~
I am glad that both are nice places. I live in the
comfy two bedroom apartment region of coupletonville.
Unlike some i welcome people from single ville to my
apartment for dinner parties and own a set of forks
for thirteen people and not twelve that i got while i
was in singleville and still own. So all you single
ladies and gents should feel free to visit. :P Also,
yay for the new product stuff. Silly story products
are fun!
Sarah
Aww, Meagan, that was beautiful! Maybe because I just woke up, but I wanted something like this to be real. I mean, I'm glad it's not, but I thought it was for a second. As for me, I'm stuck in Singletonville (again, *sigh*). I'm not finding many beautiful things about it. I want the cozy nights in and restaurants, not the party scene.
..................................
Ok, so I just read what I wrote, and I am so far gone mentally.........forget all that. I swear I'm coherent now. I wasn't wrong when I said the story was beautiful though. It was very heartfelt and something we could all relate to. Good work, m'dear!
Kyla the still half-dreaming (????)
This story was very clever, Meagan. I liked it lots!
-Roxanne Ian again! Dearest Marla, will trave to Singletonville with me? It does
sounds like loads of fun!!!!
Kisses! Ian
singleton sounds like super fun!!! i wanna go, and its in the west?? count me in!!!!!
Pinky the more fab Bravo!!!! How true, how true!!!! Well put Meagan! Couples will be the
downfall of society!!!! Yes, that means you are included Sarah and all you
other ones out there!!!! You dirty little bastards!!!!
Wonderful story Meagan!
Kisses!
Ian
I LOVED THIS SILLY STORY!! It was probably the most inventive and creative use of words that I have seen!!! I am going to save this one and print it out because it is a very good view of how relationships can be!!! GOOD WORK!!
-kendra Meagan,
Cute story. Good Job.
-Jill Um, is a straight girl traveling with a gay guy to Coupletonville a legal option out of Singletonville? Congratulations you two; I think you found a loophole in the system. That's why I love you two.....
-kyla Absolutly wonderful, and I think that marla and ian
can live in coupletonville because alot of gay men in
hollywood are married to a women or dating one, but
that is for other reasons. I think that it will work
though. I thoroughly enjoyed the story meagan.
love you lots
morgan
P.S. congratulations Courtney. You will be a wonderful
marketing manager
Awesome story! I am truly amazed at your brillance! Anyway, I think this
story kicked ass! It is so true, and that is quite depressing : ( I also
like the commercial. Those phones sound....um...interesting. Keep up the
good work girls...and are there are free rides to Coupletonville that I can
hop on. I kinda want to visit there someday in the near future. ~Krista,
the guy crazy, but do not have enough time or patience for a boy~
I love this story! It was very creative! Not so sure about the phones, but
good effort none the less. I look forward to the day when I can move out of
Singletonville and into Coupletonville. Hopefully that will be in the not to
distant future. I, like Kyla, look forward to ditching the party scene, and
going to the cozy nights and romantic restaurants. Glad that Marla and Ian
will be making a trip. Call me when you get there and tell me about it. I hear
it's very nice. Terrific story Meg! Each story gets better and better.
See you all tonight at movie night!
Love Always,
Lisa - the eager to be coming home for Easter
115
I know, the advertisements are everywhere. Any how I don't think I got around to writing a silly story for Easter last year, so here am making up for it :-D.
Silly Story 115
The Easter What?
Everyone knows the only all too famous Easter Bunny. Yano, that six foot rabbit that brings you eggs and chocolate. Yes it seems purely illogical I know. But did you ever wonder how it came to be that there is such a thing as the Easter Bunny? Well today kiddies, I'm gonna enlighten you.
You see looooooooong ago, before you were born Easter meant nothing more than going to Church. Not that that isn't blessed and all but the kiddies just weren't enthused. So God got to thinking. He had everyone in the spirit of giving and hustle and bustle of excitement with Christmas, how could he make Easter special? Then he got a wonderful idea, because he is God and that is how he works.
He decided to have someone deliver goodies to the kiddies so they would be excited and ask questions about it. So since he had allowed Christmas to go to man, he decided to leave Easter up for grabs for the rest of animal kingdom. He told Santa to have a contest and he did.
The first animal to win was a Skunk. He won the contest by pulling a pity plea. He said no one liked the skunks of the world and that they got a bad rap. This would be the perfect way to let everyone realize how cute and cuddly they actually are. So the skunk, how had a sweet tooth and knew he would really have to win the kiddies over, give his standing reputation, decided to dole out chocolate. He carried them in a basket so that everyone would get their equal share and it would be easy to remember.
How ever, though the kiddies loved the chocolate there was a hanging odor in the house that they could not get rid of. The kiddies usually spewed their chocolate cause it spelt so bad. They began to dread Easter as the stinky spew holiday. So the Skunk was replaced with the runner up, the Chicken.
The chicken wanted to add something healthy to the matter. So she brought eggs. She was Chicken who believed in a lot of scientific hoo ha, and rationalized that an unfertilized egg is not a chick. And she had an ego of thinking her eggs carried the most nutrition and what not. So threw out the idea of chocolate. While the kids liked the eggs, sort of... well kind of... well not at all... they enjoyed throwing them at each other because they were hard boiled (so they would not break on the Chicken's journey)... but anyway... Besides the fact that the Chicken's basket sucked, she was, for as smart as she was, bird brained (for lack of better description). She would often stop to peck at things. This slowed her down and she never got to all the kids before day break. In fact, knowing she had missed some she still tried to deliver and was shot at by many a hunter... In the end one got her and held an all you can eat Chicken dinner for $7 a plate. Six foot chickens were hard to come by.
So the Chicken was dead, and it was better this way because then no one had to fire her. Many said she took the bullet better than she would have taken being fired from Easter Chicken. She died happy. (By the way, she was the runner up because she paid off the elves to makes sure she made it to the top three.)
So then it went to third place, the rabbit. He had gotten to third by proving how fast he was, and how cuddly he was. In the end what won it for him, was that he could multiply really fast so that there'd be plenty of replacements in case another Chicken incident occurred.
So, the rabbit realizing chocolate was a brilliant idea and wanting to pay respects for the person who went before him, kept both chocolate and eggs. However he painted the eggs so the kids would at least find them attractive to look at and be more enthused. He also added a toy or two if the kiddies were really good because it worked well for Santa. In short the only idea that was his own was painting the eggs. And no one can argue that he isn't fast.
So that's how the Easter bunny became. He hasn't been shot, but keeps sending offspring out into the world because he's both paranoid and horny. unfortunately those traits are passed to the offspring and that explains the excess of skittish rabbits.
The fourth runner up, the Hedhog, still tries to argue into the position and occasionally tries to sabotage the rabbit but has yet to succeed. Until he comes up with a good plan, he helps the rabbit collect eggs from friendly chickens.
The End
Moral: Fast, horny, and easy wins the race. RESPONSES:
So that's how it all began! I've been wondering about that for years, and now if someone asks me in the future, I have an answer. Thank you for clarifying one of life's mysteries. Oh, and that moral has to be one of the dirtiest you've come up with. Horny and easy I can deal with. I just don't see how someone who's horny and easy can win by being fast ...........
-kyla
Great Story Meagan! I always wondered how the Easter bunny came to be, and now
I know.
I wanted to appologize to everyone for not coming to movie night. I felt
terrible. I didn't arrive home until 9:30 and by then I was exhausted. It
sounds like it was fun, and I will make every effort to come to the next one.
Hope that everyone had a nice Easter weekend with their families. Talk to you
soon.
Love,
Lisa :) Horny easy and fast can be fun but so can slow!!!! I'm going to get back to
watching Sleeping Beauty and myabe my prince will come find me! Good night
all you dirty little bastards!
Kisses!
Ian
Totally hilarious! I loved it! It was very clever! I like the hedgehog!
I wish we had an Easter hedgehog for Easter time! THat would kick butt!
THey are so cute! Anyway, the moral is VERY true and funny. I liked it a
lot. Keep up the GREAT work Meagan! ~Krista
I would like to put in my vote for the Easter
hedgehog. Rabbits are fast and all but hedgehogs are
speedy little devils and much cuter. The hedgehog
should stick his spines into the rabbit so he is sent
into retirement from his injuries. GO HEDGEHOGS!
Sarah
Is it just me or does sarah seem bitter because the rabbit gets all the
attention?
Kisses
Ian
Darn right i am bitter. Damn bunny hogging all of the
attention. Now the hedgehog is going to spine you too
Ian. :-P
Sarah
I loved it!! I also like the t-shirts!! AND you wrote about reproducing bunnies!! You are the best!!
-kendra very cute. I like that one a lot. It's probably going to be one of my favorites. I was wondering why the Cadburry Bunny clucks like a chicken. : )
Jill
you've perverted the easter bunny...but it was
funny...those damn chickens
love you lots
morgan
116
Hello all, there's something in the air and it's carbondioxide. Look for your personal little git that inspired me and I put it in here.
Silly Story 116
Spring Fever Suddenly that guy (or girl) in your third class of the day... the one with the lisp... suddenly he's starting to look pretty damn good, or maybe you just have a lot of pent up horniness that's thawing out with the ground. Either way it's certain, you've got a case of Spring Fever.
Now how could you go about curing such a disease? Well it will wear off by summer, but for now there's only one way to deal with it. Surrender. That's right. Full heartedly give in.
Give that friendly squirel a muffin. Skip that boring class to bounce on large infaltable objects. Go up to the objec to of your affection and don't just say "Hi, see you in class" say "HI! Let's go out to the car and fuck." Get checked out by a tottal loser and let it boost your confidence. Run around barefooted wiht your eyes closed and laugh when you step on somethign sharp. Write a poem about your suite mates, even though you hate poetry. Flirt with an older man. Flirt with an older woman. Promise to marry a band member you've met once, buy their cd and forget about it. Wear flip flops in the rain. Drive with a body part sticking out the window at all times. Dance in the rain. Stand and wait for it to rain. Wear a ugly mismatched gym outfit. Get caught drooling over a tottal hottie, and then try to pass it off as side affects of "dentist appointment."Get drunk and don't show up to work on your project with your partner.Throw a swimmng party after 8pm. Forget your carear and become a massage theropist. Spend your lunch with a gay man. Refer to an animal as sassy. Make a "No Smoking" Tee shirt which includes a cuse word or three. And before the whole thing is said and done wiht, before that summer sun comes crashing down bringing your sanity with it you must must must place your hand above your eyes, look up toward sun, squint, and say "I will eat a snowcone!" and then cry because the Tropical Snow is not yet open.
Good luck, the sexy nurse near the exit will now give you a volentary examination from head to toe....
The End
Moral: You're only sane if you act crazy. RESPONSES:
Yay for a super fun story about spring. I love it!
We should try all of that sometime. We are already
half way there. However to all who have not bounced on
a large inflatable thing, you will be bruised and
battered when it is all said and done. Just fair
warning.
Sarah
Interesting suggestions, Meagan. Does anyone know when Tropical Sno is
actually going to open?
-Roxanne, who is going to London in 262 days!
Ok, first, the "something" that is in the air is the horrid smell of the trees blooming on campus. They're pretty to look at, but they smell like s***. Courtney and Roxanne can back me up on this. Second, I've already done some of this stuff. Yet, we have no large inflatable objects on our campus. Will you settle for climbing up on top of the large ugly sculptures that have invaded the quad? ----Kyla the Destroyer in the Water Gun Wars Ahh, yes spring is in the air. The flowering trees here at Western smell
wonderful. Sorry that they don't smell so good at Bradley. I could sit outside
and just inhale the glorious scent all day. In fact I think I might take a nap
outside this afternoon. But then again, my bed is more comfortable than the
grass. So much for that idea. Terrific story Meagan. The moral is one to live
by. It hasn't rained much lately, but I will be going outside to play in it
when it finally does rain. Talk to you all later!
Lisa,
The tired and wishing she could partake in the Water Gun Wars because it
sounds like fun.
I LOVED IT!!! Once again, you did not fail me on writing a very good silly story. You gave me some ideas on what to do when I am bored (Not like I have time to get bored) or when I am stressed. Actually because you mentioned a swim party I have decided to try to find a local pool and my roommates and whoever else wants to come are going to be invited!!!! HURRAY FOR FUN IN THE SUN!!!
....I think I have spring fever....I will take that examination now...
Kendra the desperately wanting school to end so she can sit by the pool and get a tan and frolic outside anytime she wants!!!
Great Story Meagan! I loved it! I don't recommend jumping on inflatables
b/c about 2 weeks ago, I was hurt very much by those inflatable games.
Grr....and yes, Kyla. I feel your pain. Those trees bloomed at our school
about 2 weeks ago, too. They smell like fish and other things. Gross!
Anyway, I am going to try out some of the acitivites now that my month and a
half of hell is finally over!!! TTYL! I love ya'll.
KRISTA
Meagan, there's one thing you left off the list: squirt gun fights. I had one today, and it was a blast! Civilians were terrified that they would get in our line of fire, despite the fact that we were avoiding those who actually had class today. Ah, nothing says spring like having a super-soaked shirt on the quad. -----Kyla the still dripping wet from games that ended over an hour ago
ok meagan.. definetly good advice, and im going to try the "hey, lets go out to the car and fuck" :) ill see how far it gets me the no smoking tshirt was my idea you dirty theif!! but i think we should make it! i dont want to flirt with an old man,, BUT the bouncing on inflatable objects sounds like a must-do!!! I cant wear an ugly mis-matched gym outfit because of the possible hottie encounter, hes sooo hot.. ooh! and he has a big truck >:) hehehehehh hey, lets go out to your truck baby... yea right lol i liked this story it had many unique ideas to make spring just alittle more exciting!
PinkyPoo
She didn't say flirt with an old man, she said flirt with an older man. And that one was just for me :-P. Hehe, he was cute......
-kyla
It worked! I've got Silly stories and responses...yay! :-) Beautiful and sexy
is all I have to say about this :-)-kristen
I love spring. So many built up hormones. Good suggestions especially the no smoking T-shirt. And you gotta love the sexy nurse and the full examination!!!!!
-marv
hear hear. I loved it. Oh and those nasty smelling
trees are blooming at ranken too, and they are right
under the AT department so the smell comes through the
windows. There is no avoiding it.
Love you lots
Morgan the happy it is almost summer so that she can
come out of seclusion due to school work and see all
of her friends again
So, in response to the story. I want to say that the whole car and fucking
line was mine! It was a great thought of mine while walking the track! Go
Me!!!! Anywho, I would love to go out to a car(one with fold down back
seats of course) and fuck! I have spring fever and I'm not afraid to say
so! So, booo for all you if you don't!!!! Kisses!
Ian
yeah for the story!! I wish I had time to do any of that stuff but I have a ridcidlous amount of homework, and what's all this talk about a watergun fight? I was confused, and I'm at work and people are pissing me off, like this girl just came up to my desk and then got pissed at me cause I asked her if she needed help! That's my f-ing job lady!! Sorry I'll stop bitching and I try to get to the products soon but my daily project have to come first *kisses* byeee
courtney the overworked and pissy
117 silly
As I finish off the last of the Easter sugar cookies happily and think about molesting the object of my current affection in the hall tomarrow, I think to myself, Hmm Now would be a good time for a silly story...
Silly Story 117
Carb Cracked
One day something caught Jojo's eye. It was Carb friendly diet. "How nice," he thought, "Someone is reaching out to those often forgotten carbs and loving them." Then Jojo realized that "carb friendly" meant low carb. Jojo had often fought off diets with the best compromise ever, eating a well balanced diet and occasionally splurging on the weekend. But there was something about this diet that just urked him. He knew that it was a fad that would fade away and be forgotten... but still....
One day, Jojo went to his favorite Italian reasurant for lunch. He was shocked and disturbed that they had a low carb menu. Then his waiter informed him he had joined the Atkiens diet. There were advertisement flashign across his laptop for low carb meals and deals. It was then that something snapped in Jojo. At first it appeared he had only gotten warmer and began to sweat a little, but if one listened close enough (as his waiter did) they would have heard the soft "PinG" that rocketed through Jojo's brain.
Jojo stood up and said "That's it!" He stormed out of the reastruant and no one heard of him for two weeks. Then he reappeared on the five o clock news. He was running up and down the street in a tarzan outfit screaming at the top of his lungs for everyone to listen.
"I am tierd of the compromised life!" He screamed "I'm tierd of being perfect and compliant. Thsi new fangled low carb stuff has made me realize! Every thing is bull shit! In honor of all that is in fact holy I offer this. Live your life bold! Calories don't exist, they were made up to scare you! Wear what you want, sing what you want, run around naked if the spirit of the wind so moves you and always always eat carbs."
Jojo then wiped out a large piece of bread and started munching on it. He declared that he would eat nothing but carbs until the day he died. Since Jojo was a good invester he had saved a good deal of money. He purchased an island and moved there. Anyone was welcome as long as the loved carbs, ate carbs, and ran around naked on Sundays.
The End
Moral: Diets don't exisit, only nakedness and carb cramming will lead to self bodily love.
RESPONSES:
DAMN THE ATKINS DIET!!!!!!! I'm moving to that island; you can't stop me! I want carbs and I want them now. Hear that, parental units? Give me carbs or give me death (which is, in fact, kind of true since there's nothing edible or delicious in my house).
--Kyla the stuffy nosed
I enjoyed the story Megan...I do need to go on a summer diet though....hmmm....maybe I should try the Atkins diet...:-)!!
-kendra Bravo Meggie. Thank god for Jojo and his carb loving.
I am so glad that none of my friends are on the
atkins diet or i would be forced to beat them with a
giant foam clue bat. Yay for carbs. I love them and
will be out to visit Jojo everyday but Sunday.
Sarah
my dads on the atkins he lost like 25 pounds and is like 30%
less likely to have a heart attack now. he's been less crazy
about it lately, thankfully. he was really getting on my
nerves over christmas break with it. he doesn't really do it
on the weekends anymore. so stop your atkins bashing just
because of the damn annoying commercials and the constant
bombarding of low-carb bread products. bread = carbs i don't
get how you can have lowcarb bread. gah, anyway, thought i'd
toss in my two cents, good story...
-john
for people who need the low carb diet good, but some
people who are on it don't. So don't force upon me you
low carbs. My parents tried it but my dad couldn't
survive with out his dr pepper and sandwiches. anyway,
hooray for carbs
morgan
Great story! I found it humorous, but I bet JoJo got HUGE if he only ate
carbs w/o burning them off. Oh well, not a compromised lifestyle anymore!
I also loved the Secret Water Gun and the Spring fever products! They were
so cute! I want to buy BOTH of them, especially the water gun. I was in a
water gun fight a couple days ago. Colleen, my friend, and I decided to
surprise our guy friend (tee hee), so we soaked them. But don't worry! We
brought itty-bitty water guns for them to use against us (they ran out in
like 2 seconds, ha ha!). We had supersoakers, tee hee. I found it humorous.
So, of course we drenched them, and we had only a spits worth of water on
us! Well, I am going to stop rambling. Love ya'll, and GREAT stories and
products! ~Krista the girl who just wants to get out of school~
Meagan,
That was good. Good Job.
-jill I loved this story!! I'm so sick of the dman carb counters of american!!! Hello if people just eat well and got off their lazy asses it would be a hell of alot people
Courtney the crab hater
Once again, you've created an interesting and entertaining story for us all.
However, reducing carbs is not a bad thing. I've done it, and I haven't gone
mad.
As for the products, I would like 1 of each! Hooray for watergun fights!
Love Always,
Lisa
LOL a low carb italian restaurant???? doesnt exist :) but a fun idea!!! i like the tarzan idea.. sounds like fun, i wanna be jane!!!!
grrrrr!
Marla the Great 1 1 8
Dear whom it may concern,
I meant for this to be an adorable silly story called King Swollen Foot, but I find that it is nearly impossible to poke fun at Oedipus(which means swollen foot, see i was paying attentiong) with out breaking in to lament upon it. So then I thought I could have a "Dr. " commenting. However! Bullshit. So here goes......
SS118
Oedipus: A Summary and a Discussion
NOTE: The fact that beginning began with the curtain opening piece by piece should have told me that this would take forever long. (Also the kings entrance which included a 20minute drum number bout drove me to death of boredom)
King Lucius and his wife (for she is rarely referred to as anything else) have a son. It is then prophesized that he will kill his father and marry his mother. So they take the infant and drill his ankles together. I think that this was over reacting. For instance, had the raised him and cared for him in a loving manner and told him that killing his father was bad, this whole scenario may never have happened. Error number uno. Well the guy who;s suppose to kill the kid, take mercy and gives it to his homosexual partner and sheep hearder (Ok, it does not say they are homosexual, but me and Ian both feel it is quite obvious due to the way they remember their "Herding days.") So Oedipus grows up to be a prince anyway and walla is told he will kill his father and marry his mother. So he being a good person who has no faith in himself or those around him, banishes himself. On his journeys he kills Lucias. DING DING DING his father. And not know this takes his place and marries his mother. Well, he and all the public are dense as rocks. And when told several matching stories, can not put two and two together, or one and one for that matter. In fact I feel it is this precise in ability to put anything together save for word upon word upon word (I never knew dying suffering people could yak so much) upon word, that they do not see the truth. Once they discover the truth (and let me tell you they go through a hell of a way of finding it out) their solution is not to suck it up and stop the evil action and move on with their lives, but to kill themselves and dig their eyes out.
OKAY, first off Incest (which apparently sleeping with your mother has AT LEAST 300 different ways to say it) in royal families no less was very common and in fact insisted upon from the tiny island of Hawaii to the big major country places and what not like Europe for a sickenly long time.It was a way to keep the blood "Pure." So the fact that he UNKNOWINGLY had children with his mother, should not be that off putting to him. (not to mention she (the mother/wife says somewhere in the middle of the play "every young boys fantasies about sleeping with his mother, it is natural.")
SECOND if they didn't air their dirty laundry out in the public square (where the whole damn play takes place with out intermission) then maybe they could have kept a lot more secret. Including keeping it from his children,w ho are young, which he drags out to the public to tell them how awful their lives will be.
THIRD I think it is a full consensus at least of me and Ian and that all that counts, that he should have ripped his tongue out instead of gauging his eyes out. That would prevent the FIVE HOUR LONG ENDING!
FOURTH while Oedipus is arrogant and dumb and dense and stupid, and lamenting, he's not a bad fella. He just doesn't see things in good light or have much faith in himself. However he is a hypocrite. "Banish me" "Save me" "I don't ever want to see my children" "Bring them to me" And so forth. He just thought he needed more to say.
FIFTH NO CHANTING AND DRUMS.... the little cult like public was amusing for about 0.000000003 seconds. When they formed the diamond on the stairs I was desperately hoping for a spontaneous choreographed dance number. I received no number!
On top of all of this, after it is all basically said and done, they sum the story up for you three more times. This is before Oedipus comes out with a blinding light (nice theatrical trick however) and laments and feels sorry for himself for about five hours. A better ending would be him staggering out and screaming "NOOO" then let the chanting explain.
Also I want to know why the messenger servant who is "shocked and confused" can be so lyrical about her masters killing themselves and gauging their eyes out. I know I wouldn't be. Plus they all have to announce what they're going to say for ten minutes before they actually get around to saying it!
HIGHLIGHT of the PLAY::: When there is a priest rambling on forEVer and he has six women around him. Ian leans over and says... "Look he has a woman for everyday... well except Sunday. It's the Sabbath. He is a priest." Got me giggling and choking on gum.
THE END Oh wait if I really want to be like Oedipus this isn't really the end yano. No, but I'll be nice, so Please, insert your own five hour ending here. Then everyone will leave the stage One by One. I will probably think of more to say about this torture I endured after I send this. I will try not to be like Oedipus and will not send a part two.
The Real End
MORAL: Subperb acting and homosexual Sheppards do not make an ANGUISHING LONG PLAY, by any means somewhat decent, good, or enjoyable. RESPONSES:
Ture Meagan! Those sheep or goat hearders we so homo!!!! Kisses!I expected a dance number too!
Kisses!
Ian
So, you know how they have SparkNotes and CliffsNotes and whatnot? Well, I think we should have a MegNotes (Someone help me out with the name here. I know there has to be a better one). Meagan, in addition to writing silly stories and keeping us amused by her own talents, should occasionally do reviews of plays, concerts, and literature. We can become cultured through Meagan. I think it's a great idea. We'd get an honest opinion and summary, and we can actually enjoy reading everything at the same time. Who's with me on this idea? I want a show of hands, so to speak.
Kyla the hacking up a lung every time she coughs
Kyla don't hack up a lung!!!!! Kisses!
Ian
Meagan, where did you see this award winning performace?
Also- It's still sort of common for royals to marry someone who they are
distantly related to...Princess Diana and Prince Charles were cousins a
couple times over or something. Also, I believe Queen Elizabeth and Prince
Phillip are cousins as well. It's all about keeping the money in the family
;-)
-Roxanne
I AGREE!!! I hate having to watch those long epic shitty but "classic" movies/plays or reading the damn things!!!! I agree with everything stated in this silly story. Also, I would like to add that I love the priest comment from Ian. It made me laugh!!
Kendra
I agree with Kyla that the analysis of plays by Meagan would add some culture
to our lives. However, I would hope that any future readings of this nature
would be more easy to understand. I had a little trouble following this one. I
do appreciate the effort, given that it is the end of the semester and
everyone is getting incredibly busy.
Love Always,
Lisa- the ever bored at work, and wishing she was napping in her bed.
Great story! I loved it! It cracked me up! I love you and Ian's
commentary. So true, so true. I completely understand how you feel! I
just wanted to stand up and shout "shut the fuck up Oedipus and other
miscellaneous charcters!" Very humorous. Good moral, too! Love ya'll
~Krista, the procrastinator who has a paper due at 5, and has only 1 page
with two more classses to go to~
Thanks Krista! Extra Kisses to you!
Ian
I didn't have any problems reading it, but then again it's rare you confuse me, I've yet to decide if that's a good or bad thing!! teehee
I'm going to work on a product for this later...and I'm totally having a brain fart what's your ELK name...I'm going to make notes for Kyla but I was tyring to think of a different name and such *kisses*
Courtney the waiting for you mom to arrive so I can show her the apartment I want I HIGHLY agree with Kyla with the whole Megnotes thing (i can't think of a
better name either). Go Meagan! ~Krista, the hoping her sister doesn't die
of the black lung~
In agreence with the moral. Learned that in my
shakespeare class
morgan
Oh my God! I hadn't thought about ELK in 52 years!
-Roxanne, or Pub
yea, i didnt go to see that play, but it would have been fun to go with meggie and ian!! sounds like good times. Nice review of the play meagan! i feel like i was sitting right there watching in agony lol
Marla the Great Oh Marla, you should have been there! Kisses!
Ian