The Boob Connection
(chessy music) Hi my name is Bob, and I'm hear to edgimacate you one thoose wonderful bouncing lumps other wise known as the boobs. I any other self respectable striaght male am tottaly obsessed. So here are some fun fun facts.
First off all you ladies with tiny titties. Do not worry! Do not fret somebody likes you. You see it doesn't really matter what size they are and what they look like, we like em any way. (Scratch the above 50 breast from that "no matter" list) You gotta em we wanna play with em. Didn't your mammy teach you to share? Oh, and sternum's sexy to.
Next Big boobies are fun adn enjoyable for us. Forget your back pain, and your bitching, and how they "get in the way" We're willing to hear you complain about, you should be willing to flaunt them!
Now you medium people who are never really discussed, keep flaunting those perfect nuggets and we'll keep not talking baout you so that you will conitnue to flaunt them. Be glad that tight t-shirts and bikki tops fit you well and keep prancing around with your chest out. If you've got boobs we like ya!
mmm bouncy
Now for those "artificial laddies" we enjoy looking at you to. You're so perky. All the time! however you should learn to play well with other's in the sack. Sometimes you're to perky. I know a man who was clear num knocked out by one. One minute he's having the time of his life, the next he's waking up on a cold floor all alone... although it makes a great dinner time, bed time, and locker room story. Wowsa.
So ladies if you're ever feeling down about your gems that are round, come show them to me, and I'll make you see, how wonderful they are and how profound. I'll snap a few pictures so everyone can see and you will be highly rewarded in the confidence area. I have a trampoleen... don't do that too much though I am aware of the realities of sagging.
So that;s it on your edgimacation for now. Remember to tune into the Boob Connection for poll results and the bounce test. Loving the Boobies this is Bob Biggum and I'm outtie!
The end
Moral: A boob in the hand is one happy man.
RESPONSES:
FABULOUS!!! BRAVO!!! Yes! i requested this silly story!! i thought it would make a charming edition to the rest, and it truely ended up being very clever and one of a kind!!! I think the moral is fab... and for all of you who dont know... STERNUM IS IN!! Thanks for this great story meggie!! good times!! Pinky the Great
You cannot possibly know how happy I am that sternum is in!!! I'd be plumb screwed over if cleavage was still the "in" thing. Marla, I raise my glass to you as a fellow woman with more sternum that boobs. Here's to the good story idea! Cheers! Kyla P.S.- Nice moral. Remarkably true too.
Oh golly...that was crazy! And I totally agree that strernum is in!!! Boo on boobs!! I wanna request a story!! It should be about...umm...oh...yeah I don't know but I will have a request!! Love you! kisses byeee Courtney the over-homeworked and under-graded
Meagan~ Ummmmmmm...... ok. That was interesting. I never thought i would read a whole story by a girl about boobs. I think that is all i've got. BYE! Sarah
Um...meagan, I'm not sure that I know about all of that. Are you sure that you do not have a penis? Love ya lots Morgan
So, this was interesting. Boobs are boobs. I don't like them. This story was good but it did me no good! Sternum is is!!!! How about some penis!!!!! Kisses Ian
Hey, I suppose if I could put my responce in one word it owuld be "WOWSA!" But knowing that the gnomes would be set upon me for a one word responce, I must write more...Therefore, I will say a few other things...a few other things, and now i will respond to at lest one of the other responces... To Kyla (and Marla I suppose), as a "self respectable male" I don't know about this whole sternum thing you people are talking about, but small boobies are just as good as big ones if they fit the person whose got 'em, so don't let anyone ever complain about size (hey wow! now women can say "it isn't the size that counts, it is how you use them") anyway, I don't know if I have ever met Kyla , but I have met Marla, and if she is any indication, then you have got nothing to worry about . Anyway I have to write a paper for one my philosophy classes as a responce to an essay about clits (really), so TTYL and TTFN Danny, the thinking...oh my what is next P.S. this comes after a different philosophy class in which the teacher said somthing to the following effect: I am having sex right now. So it has deffinately been a strange day, and as we are going to discuss the reading about clits, it is only going to get...um...stranger? P.P.S. So now tell me your life story...
Hooray for sternum being in!! I much prefer it that way. I'd like to join in your toast Kyla, as sternum endowed women of the world. Let us be proud of what we have! Great story Meg! I've been missing your silly stories. Thanks for giving us all a reason to check our emails every day. Spring Break is near!!! Love Always, Lisa
Completely cute story! I thoroughly enjoyed reading every word in it! It was hilarious, and truly brightened my not so happy day! Thank you so much for you amazing talent and humor, Megan! ~Krazy Love Krista~
Glad to see that you are writing again!! I was kind of scared of this silly story since I myself have big boobs and can't stand boobs...(rocking back and forth). Oh, well. Very interesting!! Keep it up!! -kendra
108 * 108 * 108 Okies peoples. I would just like to remind everyone that responding to notices and bloopers and what not does get you rating points. Also send a warm welcome out to Ian. Lots of love thanks for joining without any signed consent and responding! He responded to the first story with out threat of gnomes! this is rare in this industry and everyone may praise Ian for a few seconds. Ok that;s enough. Don't want it going to his head. Ok so on with the funky town story ish kabob.
As The Coffee Grinds
~slow cheesy soap opera music DA da doo doooDADAdeee~
> Last time on As The Coffee Grinds Jonathan confronted Loren about switching to decafe and Loren declared her unprofound love for Jonathan and they hot passionate sex right there on the break room table. As the coffee and the two grind in walks Loran's husband and the company president, Mr. Saxatello.<
Mr.Saxatello: Loran? Jonathan?What is the meaning of this?
Jonathan: This isn't what it looks like!
Mr. S: Jonathan how could you betray me like this? Oh and you to Loran!
Loran: (scrambling to dress herself) Gregory I thought you were dead!
Mr.S: Do you think that being struck by lighting while swimming in a pond of electric eels would kill me?? Did dying in a burning building kill you? No! they brought you back for season four! You should have known my love would endure... but I must confess. My love is for Jonathan. Not you.
Loran: But I am pregnant with your brother's child.
Jonathan: You're pregnant?
Loran: Yes and how can you possibly prove it's not yours!
Jonathan: but you just said-
Loran: Prove it in court!
Mr.S: I will defend you Jonathan. And Loran you may think my brother is a poor lousy slob who only has a janitorial job because I took pity on him, but the truth is... he runs this whole company. He's indecently rich and I'm a stupid whore. But Jonathan! I know YOU, YOU could forgive me.
Jonathan: How could you, you've lied to us all.
Mr.S: But not to you Jonathan. Remember at the company Christmas party, we made love behind the Christmas tree while the drunken secretaries paraded in their bras. Do you remember? I meant every thrust.
Jonathan: You did?
Mr. S: I did! I Gregory Saxatello love you Johnaton DeHavo. Come run away with me to our own personal island of gayety.
Loran: No! You can't betray me like this!
Mr.S: Take it up with Henery!
(Jonathan and Gregory Saxatello join hands and leave the break room)
Loran: I swear, I swear on the life on my triplets that I will get my revenge!!!!
>will Loran get her revenge? Will Jonathan and Gregory live happily ever after on their island of gayety? Will Roberta the staple chick catch that rat from three episodes ago?Tune in next time to As The Coffee Grinds.. <
~Da DA DooooDooo Deeee~
The End
Moral: Drink less Decafe and have more scantly love affairs. RESPONSES: Meagan~
Yay for cheesy soap operas. I love the morale,
however beings that Loren is pregnant with triplets
and swearing revenge on people maybe she should take a
trip to starbucks and order something a couple extra
shots of latte in it so that she becomes sane again.
Just a thought.
Sarah
I would just like to know what Loren's husband thinks of all of this. Didn't
he walk in with Mr. S? Isn't he angry at his wife for cheating on him, and
then going after the gay guy? Also, I think Jonathon needs to work out which
side he wants to play. This is why I don't watch soap operas. I get so
confused. But the moral was good. This is one for the books Meg. Glad to have
a soap opera join the list of great stories.
See you all soon!
Love Always,
Lisa :) Lisa Gregory Saxatello... the company president AND her husband... she's married to the company president Gregory. I gues it was writen a bit odd, but tha'ts how it is. and soap operas are suppose to confuse and belittle you ;) teehe
meagan
muffin that was distrubing! and alittle confusing...love you
Courtney the class avoider I loved it! This was quite amusing dear.
love you lots
morgan
PS welcome Ian, and watch out for the gnomes..they'll
attack you in your sleep...
hmmmmmmmmm, interesting but choppy! I like it though.
-marv If all it took was less decaff, there would be a lot more scanty love affairs then there already are, and that is saying somthing...oh and hey, i figured out how to reply to all...I think (did it work?)
Danny the mabey replying to all...
Aww, soap operas aren't that bad! Take "The Bold and the Beautiful" for example. Ok, so Brooke has slept with every male character on that show, including her daughter's husband and her new father-in-law, but I know she doesn't drink decaf! Spare the coffee its dignity, please!
Kyla the munching on brownies instead of doing homework
They are all hos!!! i think loren needs to make up her damn mind,, and the other guys should just dump her ass anyways! I dont drink coffee!! and yes danny, you responded to everyone!! yay!! welcome ian! watch out for the gnomes, always respond
Pinky the Fabulous Thanks Marla! Kisses!!!! I agree with fuckwad, they are all hos!!!!!-ian As an avid Soap Opera watcher, I really enjoyed this one. The only thing
that would have been better is if Jonathan and Gregory would have gotten
into a fight and then Jonathan punched Gregory and said, "This is how we
drink our coffee, bitch!"
-Roxanne, who *knows* she's not the only one who is obessed with The O.C.
MEGAN...I LOVED IT!!!! I hate soap operas but this one was VERY entertaining. I liked this one so much that I printed it off and put it up in my room. I would like to see more to this story...or maybe another soap opera episode. Keep up the good work!!
-kendra I thoroughly enjoyed this one again! I got confused a little bit and had to
read parts over, but that is just me. I'm a little slow, ya know! Just
joking, don't everyone start thinking that. Anyway, this is truly an
amazing soap opera! I would so watch it if it was on tv and if i actually
would watch tv! The moral is a very good one! I want to have a scantly
love affair! Hmm.....~Krista~
I love roxanne's "this is how we drink coffe bitch!" there should be a
sequel where one of the guys slaps Loren while saying this! Good one
Roxanne! ~Krista~
108 O lay O lay O lay O lay O lay Olay O lay
dod ododododo sunny times are on there way la la la
ok that;s enough of that... hmm how botu a silly story instead...
Silly Story 109
Rules to Spring Break
And with Spring, this almighty season, comes every little college student's dream week. This of course doesn't actually happen in SPRING, but hey... it's ok. They just all fly, drive, hitch, and crawl down to warmer climents. Unless God looks down upon them and says "No! None for you!" Then of course they are stuck at home, working, and probably in not so desirable weather. But hathe be no fury of thus college student with no classes... or something.
Well dear college students, weather you are down in the sunny climates getting drunker than a circus monkey that got locked in the wine wagon or sitting alone in your basement staring at the computer screen and drooling because that is where it's warmest, there are some basic rules that you must remember to follow, if you hope to have an authentic Spring Break.
Rule one: drink much and drink often. And if you don't drink, surround yourself with drunken fools as much as possible.
Rule two: Walk most everywhere. This is good because you are either too drunk to drive or the rental car cost to much anyway. If you are at home, walk any way.
Rule three: Wear next to nothing. Come on we know you've been pumping up behind closed doors getting your body pumped to show off... Oh not all of you have.. well in your case run around naked. It will build your confidence and bring you to rule four.
Rule four: Get arrested or seriously questioned by the authorities. This will remind you the difference between right and wrong, and brave and stupid. It's a good moral lesson and you may befriend a not so loyal cop. It;s good to have friends in low places.. or uh high... whatever.
Rule Five: Spend a lot of money on nothing. This way you will be less aware that you spent and not feel so bad about it. In case you start to remember see rule one.
Rule Six: tell everyone you will call or write a post card and then don't speak to them for the rest of the week. And don't call or write. however you can purchase several post cards and at the end of the week show them the cards and say "Look I Intended to write you honest. I even bought the cards!"
Rule Seven: Do something with water. Submersing yourself in it is highly advised. Throwing unsuspecting bystanders into it is also highly recommended.
And Finally Rule Eight: Do NOT do ANY Homework. What kind of self respecting college student would you be if you didn't save it all for Sunday night before class. That's what I thought, not a very good one.
Well, the birds are singing, the breeze is a bit cool but the sun's mighty warm. Looks like Spring break is just over the horizon. Remember those rules and you can't go wrong. In fact if you follow them all to the T, then one day you will be rich and famous... or maybe just on Girls Gone Wild... as a girl or a bystander... hmm.... Tata!
The End
MORAL: Drunken, wet, naked happiness is the secret to success. Ok, a couple of things. 1) Marla, you're not fat. Not as toned as you get over the summer, but definitely not fat. You're still looking better than me. As for being pale, I've got you beat, so don't complain. 2) Good job Meagan! Besides being one of the most truthful stories, it has inspired me to do my best to play around during spring break when it finally arrives (Just one more week!). Apparently, I only have to work the Saturday before I come back to school, so feel free to provide entertainment for me over the course of the week.
Yours in chocolate,
Kyla
Yeah for spring break I'm soooo ready cause I totally sick of school and shit
Courtney the cranky True you should have mentioned snuggling with boys and milk and cookies!
Good fun!!!! Great story cocksmack!
Kisses
Ian
Meagan~
I like your rules although i think i am breaking all
of them. It is not warm enough to wear nearly nothing
at home and i haven't got the money to spend 20
dollars on flip flops :P Anyway, i do plan to
surround myself with my drunken boyfriend (he is
turning 21) and his friends in a couple days so maybe
that will make up for my breaking all of the other
rules. Well i will talk to you crazy kids later.
Sarah
What I don't understand is I never see this silly story but i get ian's reply...so i still managed to read it, never the less, it is spring break and i fully intend on doing all of the mentioned... haha...well, maybe not but i do know somebody who knows somebody who knows a girl on girls gone wild...heh-kristen
Rule Five is something I like to observe everyday, not just on spring break!
-Roxanne
I truly enjoyed the story b/c it helped me increase the happiness of my
Spring Break. Since I will be one of those losers hanging out at home and
working, I shall try to do all of the suggestions. The only suggestion I
won't be able to follow is the one about homework. I am so swamped with
projects that I WILL be working on homework sparatically throughout the rest
of my Spring Break. Damn college! Good story, and nice moral. I love it!
~Krista~
I loved it!!! By the way, I actually konw a girl that goes to my school from Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break. She is the girl that is standing on a balcony (she gives a fake names though) and flashes the camera, shakes her booty, but luckily she keeps her bikini bottom on....Oh the superstars down here in Rolla. It is really funny watching the guys try and talk to her because all of them have seen her boobs, and they are trying hard not to look down at them while they talk to her. Anyway, I have to go do homework. Everyone have a GREAT spring break!!!
Kendra
I am going to florida to hang out with my aunt for
spring break which is at a different time then
everyone elses. Anyway, We are going to an alligator
farm so maybe I'll be arrested there or for trying to
smuggle a lizard on the plane for randy. I don't know.
Good set of rules though meagan. I find them easy to
follow and entertaining.
love you lots
Morgan Hey All-
Great advice Meagan! I did lift weights and do some running over the break,
but I'm sorry to say that I didn't get to show it off. I also did no homework-
which is why I've been so terrible with responses. I'm sorry it's taken me so
long to respond. Now, nowever,I will innundate your inboxes with my long
overdue responses.
Talk to you all later!
Lisa
the terribly sorry for being so late in responding.
Thanks for taking time to write these stories Meagan, even when we aren't
always so good about responding.
hello all, well something real bizarre has happened. I got to work
at 915 am. I usually dont crawl out of bed until 1030. What
is the world coming to? Oh well I'm leaving at noon teehee. Ok then wel i suppose you want a silly story. Gesh,
you're all so needy needy needy. j/k. Here we go.
> Silly Story 110
A Western Love Poem
Wa wa WA
She pulled down the brim of her cowgirl hat.
And patted the horse upon which she sat.
DO do dooo
She took a deep breath and tightened her bust,
For suddenly, there, in a puff of dust,
wa wa woo
were some scantly clad cowboys, five or so.
They wore their jeans tight and their hats down low.
Wa Wo WOOO
No shirts on their backs and who could blame them?
They were nicely tanned and toned, limb to limb.
Wa We WO
She felt mightly faint and reached for her heart,
As the cowboys rode closer to her horse, Mart
Wa wa WA
"Hey there little lady," one of them said,
"My name's Earp and this is my horse, Jed."
dodedoooo
After a little conversation it
was decided they'd be her slaves, for a bit
wa wa wa
into the sunset they carried her away
Except for Ted and Hugh, for they were gay.
wa wa wa
So there were cowyboys a plenty, she shared.
The tumble weeds kept tumblin and noone cared.
waaa wa wooooooo
the end
moral: When the time comes to be a tumble weed or a scantly clad cowboy, be a scantly clad cowboy. RESPONSES :
Hooray for scantily clad cowboys! I want to borrow them for a while!!!! No, Krista, they're mine; I claimed them first! Woo hoo..............*runs off with the scantily clad cowboys for some good times*
-Kyla, the almost on break, thank God
Amazing Story! I truly loved it! Of course I loved it because I love
cowboys, especially scantly clad cowboys! Man, I wish I would have been
that girl or at least a tumbleweed that got a glimpse of those cowboys! I
am really jealous of the girl! Even though two of them were gay, I wouldn't
mind looking at them! I loved it! Truly loved it, especially the moral and
the little music interludes. Great Job! ~Krista~
YOu can NOT have the cowboys or call them! They will choose ME over YOU b/c
I am Krazy Love Krista, and the boys ALWAYS flock to me over any other girl!
So there, you might have your way with them first, but I will snatch them
from you with one glance! Mwuahahaha! THey will be my slaves FOREVER!
Mwuahahaha! ~Krazy Love Krista, the cowboy loving and the cowboy loved
cowgirl~
What is you alls obsession with cowboys?
love you lots
Morgan
Interesting, very interesting! Good job
-ryan w :) awesome,, im liking this whole scantily clad thing,, and the cowboy hats are sexy :) sign me up for a hot cowboy Meagan,, you know the requirements get back to me
Pinky the FAB Meagan
Good story. All scantly clad cowboys should be
slaves to kick ass cowgirls. That is the way that
things should be. The gay cowboys should help though,
earn their keep.
Sarah
Alright I'll make you a deal, I get the cowgirl and all you girls can SHARE the cowboys. -Marv Well, it is finally about time that some gay cowboys make their way into a
story!!!! If you want to see some straight and gay cowboys(eventhough they
really aren't) watch Playing it Straight! Kisses!
Ian
Woohoo for cowboys...did you ever decide on a pinic date? Let me know...*kisses* byee
Courtney the finally on break Terrific job Meagan! Once again, you send a story that brightens my day. I
could almost hear the Western music playing in the background. Hot cowboys,
ahh, who could ask for anything more.
Love Always,
Lisa
Lucky Leprechaun
There once was a short (of course) little leprechaun named Luke. He had red hair and wore a green suit. He was about a foot tall. He would often go to bars to try and pick up woman.
Unfortunately for Luke, being lucky and getting lucky were two different things. Being that leprechaun woman were scarce in his parts, he still tried his damnedest to make it with a human woman.
His main problem was , he would stare up their skirt for about five minutes before talking to him. This of course meant the noticed him first and usually kicked at him to go away.
One day Luke just got so horny (lets face it he's a greedy little bastard with a hidden pot of gold, he isn't much into that boo hoo I'm lonely and need love crap.) So as I was saying , one day when he was really horny he decided to put a spell on himself, instead of being lucky he would get lucky.
While Luke spent the next three months walking into walls, getting stuck in beer pitchers, getting lost, getting stepped on, losing the lotto, he really didn't care because he was getting some on a regular ,(nightly) basis. Woman would flock towards him and take him home and do dirty things with him. He was thrilled and thought it made for a lovely trade.
But then one day someone found his gold and ran off with it. So then Luke was forced to decide... he could get laid by beautiful women until the day he died... forever. OR he could have his greedy wonderful gold back where it belonged. Luke was truly truly torn.
He could only work the spell once. So Luke got an idea. Remembering a silly story he had read once upon a time, he thought about getting a trusty band of prostitutes. So that is exactly what he did.
Once he had their loyalty and lots of sex, he set them out to find the gold thief. They distracted Mr.Bush with sex, which didn't really work but because they were naked, but because they were blocking his Saturday morning cartoons. Luke made off with the money and the prostitutes.
He has been happily pimping them out ever since and now owns the largest band of trusty prostitutes to date. He never has to go to bars any more, and while he does lead a very unlucky life (hes been busted by the cops several times and has to relocte) He gets lucky quite often and is over all pleased with what he has done with his life.
The End
Moral: You don't need to be lucky to get laid and in fact it is advised that you not be. RESPONSES
Meagan~
Yay for Hallmark inspiring a rather dirty story!
Luke seems to be very on his toes as far as business
is concerned. He is still rich and gets laid so it
all works out. He seems to know how to make everybody
happy except Bush, but who cares if he is happy.
-sarah Ha..HaHa, I love this. I am a point proven. I'm
incrediably unlucky and run into shit all of the time,
but I get laid all of the time.
love you all lots
morgan the klutzy who plans on having sex tonight
I thoroughly enjoyed this leprechaun story!!! It may have something to do with the fact that at Rolla St. Pat's is a big party and I now enjoy St. Pat's more than any other non-christian holiday (i.e. Christmas and Easter). Also, I was wondering if you knew the spell so that I could be lucky...because the only luck I have is bad luck. Hehe! So negative, yet so true. Anyway, keep up the good work!!!
-kendra
Um..............I don't even know where to begin with this one. Ok, yes I do. First, that leprechaun sucks. What a horny little bastard. If I ever meet him, I'm going to squash him. Second, why is there no mention of Ryan Giacoletto in this story? After all, he is the original horny little bastard leprechaun. Third, Luke the Leprechaun has completely ruined St. Patty's for me. What started as an innocent holiday celebrated by all things green has become a source of fear for me now. I don't need another reason to be fearful, I'm already a big 'fraidy cat. Excuse me while I go hide under my blankets now......
Kyla the desperately needing a scantily clad cowboy
wow that was too much info from morgan...and I original thought the story was going to be about mary's b/f but then the story took a major turn...*kisses* byeeee
Courtney the depressed cause spring break is ending ok, i like short guys,, but not a foot tall :) and the red hair...no green suit?? hell no,, damn but i still like this luke fellow!! hes a dirty little basterd, and i think he would amuse the hell out of me! lets find him and he can be our new best friend :)
Pinky can’t say that I enjoyed that story at all. It was a bit odd. Yes, very odd! Horny little leprechauns sound kind of weird!
-ryan w. Very good story Meagan! I found it very...umm....interesting! I was kinda
stuck on the whole issue of a horny leprochaun! How wrong!!! Ewww!!!
Especially a red-headed leprochaun! Gross-out! I am very glad that you
don't have to be lucky to get laid, cause otherwise I would be screwed when
I am older (no pun intended). Keep up the good work! ~Krista~
112
Due to some interesting time well spent in the quad running
our mouths, we have this silly story. yay! (Have I
initiated marv yet??? well here we go then. an initiation
for marv. hehehehe
Silly Story 112
The Asshole Pill
Natural selection of course being the natural way of doing things until bumbling humans (most likely assholeic in nature) removed its necessity, preserving it only for the furred, feathered, and scaled. It is even such that the furred, feathered, and scaled are often saved from this brutal form of purification by more bumbling humans. However this can be foreseen as kindness, as too the poor little creatures are often being saved not from true natural selection but from fake versions of it such as oil spills and arrogant hunters.
Being that it is the Assholeic in nature that eliminated said selection, it only makes sense that the assholeic in nature are the ones that are truly protected in natural selection's absence. If you are somehow lost in this scientific but simply described proceeding of words you are either assholeic in nature or you need to read it again slowly and calmly and be glad we;re not sticking you in a safe that is slowly sinking to the ocean floor.
Now understanding (or not) this difficult concept you can understand that a perturbed little creature named Sarah had taken great notice upon this. If you are well read in such popular and scholarly readings such as Silly Stories, you would remember her friendly tale of enlightment. In short she knows the meaning of life. However even something as pure and gratifying as that was not enough to block out the surging increase of assholes. (Alas she was not as thick as the famed penguin Joe.)
So Sarah made a call to a little known dabbler in pharmaceuticals, other wise known as Marv. She made a simple, somber, straightforward request and went back to her smiley self. Marv got to work right away. He had been considering ditching pharmaceuticals to go into massage therapy, but no genius could turn down' Sarah's brilliant request.
So 14 weeks, 2 days, 12 hours, 6 minutes, and 2.5 seconds later, Marv had created the Darwin pill.
The Darwin pill is composed of a numerous amount of sedatives, things we can't pronounce unless well trained pharmacists, a load of special ingredients, and fragments of M&M's. This special little blue hazed tablet is other wise known as The Asshole Pill. If an asshole should take it, he should die within the hour. It is considered by many that this is natural selections way of evening things out. If the said person is dumb enough to take it, then he truly is assholeic in nature and deserves what is coming to him. There is no fear of anyone non-assholeic in nature to attempt consuming the pill. For again if you are dumb enough to, you deserve what is coming. Children are also put off by it's foul smell and taste and spit it out if they should come across it by accident; if the child fails to do so, it is safely assumed they would have grown into an asshole. And all is well.
The Asshole pill is being held off the market by certain religious factions and a plenty of Assholes. However one of the trucks transporting the special med got, lost as it were. And you may purchase an Asshole pill down any dark alley, small closet, or just call Sarah or Marv.
WARNING: If you have an overly bad feeling about this pill or have a sudden craving for it, you may be an asshole and you should call Sarah or Marv IMMEDIATELY for a better diagnoses. Thank you and have a nice day.
The End
Moral: You're either born an asshole, or you work at it your whole life. Either way it works out fine, cause you'll get an asshole pill some dark and stormy night. RESPONSES:
Meggie~
Well done!!!!! Good morale too. I am glad to say
that i helped inspire this story and know a number of
assholes who are in desperate need of this pill. Damn
assholes keeping my product off the market. Anyway, i
would also like to add that i do in fact know the
meaning of life and it does not include any assholes.
Toodles
Sarah
Very nice. Assholes are running amuck these days. It's about time we killed off a few. I can think of a few that need to go. Where in Peoria can I get this pill? Does it work if you put it in someone's drink so they don't know they're taking it? I need details.....
Kyla the irritated for no reason
I LOVED THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!
THere are SOOOO many assholes in the world, and especially at SIUE!! This pill should be out on the market.. i think if the asshole pill was on the market, the would would be a better place! I LOVED the moral as well!!!!!!!!!! This is by far, one of my fav silly stories!
Pinky the Great Hey this is your best story yet (mainly because it has me in it)! I will someday create the asshole pill and distribute it amongst the population. I am assuming that many people will die from this however that leave more room for us, and a lot less assholes!
Marv: the ultimate druming ninja pharmacist!
I LOVED THIS STORY!!! I know soooooo many people that could use that!!! And talk about fixing the over crowding in jails!!! Peace on earth would be achieable!! I take 20 cases!!!
Courtney the asshole killer Okay, first of all, Congratulations to marvin for his
medical break through. Second, Maybe it is because I
just got back from Florida and I am still pretty
mentally and physically drained from the damn 3 1/2
hour lay over in Chicago or maybe I am an asshole
(which is very possible) but it was a little hard to
read Meagan. It was enjoyable once I read it the
second time and kind of figured it out, so good show.
Love you lots
Morgan the tired, non tanned, (because florida was
cold) and congested.
Um....very interesting story, Meagan. Kinda a little morbid and scary, but
interesting. I really do wish there was an asshole pill to kill all those
dumb ass assholes out there! Mwuahahahaha! ~Krista~
Well.
This story kind of freaked me out. But then again, I consider myself to be a
resonable person, so I don't think that I'm in danger.
Lisa
where to buster?
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