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hey there :). I'm ready for spring and summer now. Particularly summer. This morning when I left the house I was like, well I don't need my gloves or anything because Christmas is over and warmer weather is on the way. I really don't see the logic in that. That's why I'm not a morning person. Anyway I realize I didn't give you a holiday story. I am horrible. So here is one late. tee hee... Also I am so stocked now for non alcholic party-ness. I wish I was having one... Well I plan to do SOMETHING on the 9th. so let me know if you are free.
Silly story 101
Santa Claus is an Asshole!?
Even Mrs. Claus could have sworn it was the 24th, but all the evidence said it was the 23rd. So the elves threw themselves a party for finishing a day early this year and Mrs. Claus started watching tv waiting for someone somewhere to say what day it was.
Santa in the mean time went skiing.
Well of course it was the 24th. And you can only imagine the next morning there were a lot of unhappy children. They thought santa had abandoned them. Other's said he was merely taking a vacation. But there was one census that shared all the news paper headlines. "Santa Claus in an Asshole." For what ever the reason he had not come without notice, it was rude and cruel to the poor little children of the world. There were a few who thought he had died or been kidnapped, but they just thought the elves and mrs.claus were assholes for not telling them. Other's thought the whole north pole had been bombed. Some blamed the CIA. But in the end someone always turned out to be an asshole. Never in one day were so many people called assholes. Christmas still went on of course, because the true meaning isn't preasents from Santa, but everyone was hurt by the lasp in his friendship.
Well it wasn't long before Mrs. Claus caught on to the awful mistake that had been made. It was hard not to with protesters marching across her television declaring her, her husband, and neighbors assholes.
So she yelled at santa for quite some time. She had all the calenders fixed and hurried him on his late sleigh ride. Well santa came, and found it a little more difficult than usual. Not everyone was tucked in bed early so that he could come in peace. and only a handful of very hopeful idiots had left out milk and cookies for him. But alas he got his job done. Santa had to sleep in the barn with the reindeer for a week and think about what he had done.
While there were many debates and jokes to exactly what had happened, all the hub bub and died down by the time next christmas came around and santa gave everyone twice as much presents as normal.
But this is why many cranky adults don't beleive in santa. The truth is they know he is real, but are still a little bitter and untrustworthy. But Mrs. Claus is on top of the ball so have no fear. This is unlikely to happen again. Santa doesn't enjoy sleeping in the barn. Prancer snores.
The End
Moral: Bad memory and porr judgement will lead to sleeping in a barn.
great holiday story, megan! I think you should compile most of your stories
and make a book out of them! I think once it started taking off, it would
be a total hit! I love your stories! Keep up the great work! By the way,
tell the gnomes "hi" for me. I think they are cranky b/c no one ever stops
and thinks about them other than "the gnomes who come when you don't
respond." I think they just need a little love and happiness. Then, they
won't be so grumpy. ~krazy cowboy lovin' krista~
I can’t believe Santa actually slept in the barn with Prancer and that Comet can have some bad gas sometimes I tell ya what. It’s not pretty. brian what a naughty santa!! hello it's his job to spread cheer and goodwill, why did he feel the need to be a bum...I mean he only goes out once a freakinyear!! -courtney Wow Santa Claus is an asshole. I met him at wal-mart
and he got pissed off because he had to wait in line
with the rest of the people. (i wish i was joking but
this happened.) The next time i see him i will ask if
he had to sleep in the barn.
Sarah
I have to admit that I feel sympathetic for poor Santa since I too have a bad memory and I get confused very easily. Oh, well. What an asshole!! Heehee! Once again a wonderful Christmas story!!
-kendra sorry it took me so long. Anyway, fuck santa that
asshole. What a loser
morgan Ok, just one problem...Santa is a guy who dresses up and, in one night, delivers toyes to all the good little girls and boys. Furthermore, he does not do this just once, but every stincking year! All he does is miss one year, and when I say miss, I mean that he didn't voulenteer his time, effort, patience, and health, to deliver presents, that his elves made, for those good little girls and boys, you have the NERVE, the AUDACITY to call him an ASSHOLE!!!! Did you never stop to think that he didn't have to do it in the first place!!! HUH, DID YOU!?! What kind of people are you that you have gotten complacient with the idea that toys will fall down your chiminy every winter? It is not like you paid for them. Just 'cause Santa is watching, dosen't mean that when you are good, he somehow is recieving the good deeds that you do. So why have you come to EXPECT that he will deliver presents to you? HUH?!?
moral: don't expect, be thankful for the presents.
'nuff said
102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102 102
Ok I guess you guys deserve a silly story. My Aunt's just been induced into labor or sumpin like that. Soon all have another little cousin. Yay for me.
My car needs a bath!!! There's mud all over it! And on the inside, you muddy shoed passengers! sigh. I'll clean it. There's also that ugly smear on the side window where mike drew a penis. :-p Anyway.On with the show. We haven't a had a fun animal one in awhile have we...
Silly Story 102
Famous Fred
One day while Fred was standing on his one leg, with his head held high, beak to the sky, being admired as always he over heard a conversation between a big movie director and his assistant.
"What the movie world needs more of is flamingos. Like this one," said the director pointing at Fred.
While the assistant insisted that the director was going through an odd fowl fetish, Fred became very interested these things called movies. He began ease dropping more and discovered that what you needed to be a big movie star was a good pair of sunglasses, a scantly love affair, and a trip to Hollywood. Since this would make him, apparently, even more famous Fred just had to do it.
So that night Fred escaped from his pen, broke into the gift shop stole a good black pair of sunglasses and started toward Hollywood. Only Fred didn't know where Holly Wood was.
Because of this ended up traveling many many many other places. Soon people began to talk about the strange, yet beautiful ,flamingo that was flying around the state of California. Fred noticed that people had began to recognize him, but he knew that he had to get to hollywood and have a scantly love affair if he truly wanted to be famous.
Then one night he looked down and saw a sign. Hollywood Cafe'. He was tottaly thrilled. He didn't get the Cafe' buissness but he had found hollywood at last. He swooped right down and started looking for a lady to have a love affair with. The only female bird he could find however was a pidgeon. Once the pidgeon understood the goals of Fred she flew away right into the hollywood cafe.
Just for Fred's luck there happened to be a reporter having lunch there. Fred and Pidgy made the 5 o'clock news. Fred saw himself on tv. He didn't really understand the difference between tv and movies so he was satisfied and started his journey home. When he got home he was indeed ten times as famous for his trip around the state. Pidgy even for gave him and began dating him.
About a month later the director that had inadvertantly started the whole thing contacted Fred for a movie contact about his trip. It was a horrible movie, and Fred didn't become very rich. But he didn't know the difference and was thrilled.
he later married Pidgy and lived happily ever after.
The End
Moral: The formula to sucess lays in stolen sunglasses, Hollywood, and a scantly love affair.
RESPONSES:I loved the story! It was quite awesome! I wish I had was Fred, so that I
would one day be famous. Actually, I don't want to be famous, but to have a
perfectly acceptable love affair would be nice. If only it didn't go
against my morals...shucks! OH well, I was kinda grossed out by the whole
bi-species dating and marriage. ewww!! I think the pigeon got the good end
of the deal though (i mean that by implying that the MALE flamingo was much
LARGER than she was...hint, hint) ~Krazy Love Krista~
Odd and a little disturbing...but good.
Morgan
See, now there is a bird you can be proud of. Fred took whatever came his way in stride, and was better for it, we should all learn a lesson from Fred, and, althought it is important, i am not talking about the moral of the story
"Moral: The formula to sucess lays in stolen sunglasses, Hollywood, and a scantly love affair."
I mean that everyone should take life as it comes, and persue greatness.
-danny YAY for Fred!! He is very right about the scanty love affair thing, and a trip to hollywood sounds like fun, lets leave tomorrow! Im upset that things didnt work out for fred though, i think he should have made alot of money, bought a huge pen along the coast, and lived happily ever after!!!
Pinky Yeah!!! For fred!! Yeah for Pink!!!! boooo on dirty pooping birds!! kisses byeeee
Courtney the Fred lover Very nice!! I am glad to see a personified animal again in the silly stories!! and sorry about the mud, it wasn't our fault that someone (who will remain unnamed) got stuck in the mud so we had to romp in it to push that someone out!! Sorry!!-kendra
Hooray for Fred! I'm glad he got to travel to strange and exotic places. Well, Hollywood Cafe, anyways. I really can't believe he got together with Pidgy, though. He was supposed to go on a date with the bird that smacked into my window at school. Oh, well. As long as he's happy. --Kyla the very pink today
Meagan~
Good story. I am glad that Fred was kind of famous.
Maybe he should have some more tv appearences, like
on The Today Show with that animal guy. LOL BYE!
-sarah 103 10 3 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 103 Hello everyone,
What a week I'm having! Let me tell ya. Good grief, can one really talk about how files stick up over the edg for 30 minutes????? Aparantly they can. Oh well, today is a new day and I have money to make.
Silly Story 103
A Concert in the Park
I continued walking. The breeze was nice. And then I passed a llama. He too was in a suit. A blue suit and a matching yellow hat. A straw hat. He politly tilted his head in my general direction and continued on his path in the opposite direction of me. I continued walking. I started to look back, but didn't. That may be rude. I am not rude.
I contined my walk through the park. I stopped at a hot dog stand. I sat on a bench to eat my hot dog and a bear walked by. He was in a blue suit and straw hat. He stopped and bought a hot dog. He sat next to me and ate his hotdog. I stared forward. When he was done with his hotdog he offered to throw my trash away. I let him, so as not to be rude, and he continued on his way.
I continued on my way. The shade of the trees was nice. I decided to turn around and head home. On the way back I heard a small voice say "Excuse me sir." I looked around to find a squerial. He wore a blue suit. He wore a straw hat. He asked to ride on my shoulder to the center of the park. I was headed that way, and did not know what else to say. He said he had a sore ankel and was running late. I let him ride on my shoulder to the center of the park. He thanked me.
At the center of the park there was a concert. It was nice. It was a barbor quartet. The singers were a squerial, a bear, a llama, and a monkey. They made beautiful music together. I enjoyed it. It was nice. I bought their cd. Sometimes in life it is rude to ask questions. Like why a bear, a monkey, a squerial, and a llama can not only talk, but sing, and do it together. I don't know them near well enough to ask such personal questions. It would be rude. Maybe in a few weeks. They're comming over tonight to play poker. They're my new poker buddies.
Tomarrow we shall go for a walk.
The End
Moral: To find perfect harmony, take a walk.
I liked it! It made me think about how I really wish that I was walking around Forest Park right now! But it is far too cold and when it warms up then I can have a nice stroll. I hope that my walk is as exciting as yours!!
-kendra Meagan~
That is good. How many barber shop quartets are
there these days, espescially ones made up of animals.
Are they good at poker too? We should find out and
if they suck i should invite them over and take their
money. teehee!
Sarah
You know, just yesterday I saw that squirrel in the blue suit and straw hat but I thought I was hallucinating. Guess I wasn't. Well, I'm glad to know that 1) I am not going crazy and 2) that the squirrel had a good reason to be wearing a blue suit and a straw hat. --Kyla the lazy
monkeys in blue suits and yellow hats are hot!!omg,, i totally wanna go to a barbor quartet thing, i bet that was awesome, seriously. some guys in drum corps did that, there was 4 of them, and they did some harmony singing stuff, it was really cool, although i really hated one of them..... anyways i should learn how to play poker, but i bet i wouldnt be very good oh well. see ya at movie night!!!
Pinky Meg, this was interesting...umm muffin how are you feeling? :) love you kisses byeeee
Courtney the too lazy to get anything done today Good moral! I liked this one. Silly, but slow. Very slow paced. I liked
it a lot! Meagan, you have definitely been blessed with the ability to
think creatively. thanks for teh story! ~krista~
I find only three words can adaquetly describe this particular story. It is, after all, the kind of story we have come to depend on to guide the paths of our lives. Those three words are: "I like it"
-danny
104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 104 Hi all,
well despite some people's wishes I have not fallen off the face of the earth and yet here I remain to write you a silly story, with my little brother looming over me at 1am to use the c computer good grief I know you are reading this go to bed Paul. :-p
Now on with some humor or weirdness ya never know at this time of night. And sorry I haven't written sooner. Oh yes I updated the site finally. Check out the new pic, There's a lot of you crazy cats on there. bwa ha ha ha (oh and me to)
Silly story 104
The Last Meeting of the PSA
Hello Everyone, My name is Barbara Ann
Hello Barbara
And, uh, I've haven't stolen a penguin for 2hours.
oooo ahhhhh
This one, I named him Patrick. I stole him from the St.Louis zoo. I, I was there with my niece and we went into that new penguin and puffin exhibit. And there they were, just in arms reach... all those beautiful creatures. And this one... Patrick... He got right up on the rock... you know. The large one that stick out just a bit into the viewing area... And And I couldn't help myself! It was as if he was looking directly at me saying "Barbara Ann, you need to take me! I am soooo cute and loveable and I Need to go home with you. I want to go home with you Barbara, save me from this awful cage"
So I, I reached right on up and I took him. I shoved him gently under my periwinkle windbreaker, grabbed my niece by the hand and took off running. I almost made it out, when someone noticed my chest was squawking. I ran down the block, the security chasing me. I hailed a cab threw my niece in and yelled an address. I was soo obsessed. I HAD to have this penguin. We were meant for each other!! Next, security still in hot pursuit, I pushed a young boy off his bike and stole it! I threw Patrick in the basket and peddled all the way down 55/70 to be at this meeting on time.
Oh, and I stopped along the way to buy a cooler and sunglasses for Patrick.
awwwwww
But I guess, I should be a good citizen and give him back... It is the right thing to do. I was doing so well to....
But instead I've bought 2 tickets to the South pole. I'm taking Patrick home! and I'm moving in with the penguins! So I can be surrounded in their wonderfulness! Who;s With me!?!?!
YEAH!!!!!
(group members and Patrick storm out of room)
The End
Moral: Live with penguins whenever necessary. RESPOSNSES LOL, that's so cute! I guess you wouldn't like this one game I found, then. It's called "Spank the Frank" and you are an elf at the North Pole and you take a paddle to all these penguins (who, by the way, are all named Frank) and try to get them into these floating baskets. It's interesting. Anywho, I like penguins (and puffins)!
Kyla
Cute story! I loved it! It is exactly how I pictured an obsessed penguin
person to be! I want to go to those meetings! I love the penguins!
Especially fairy penguins and their little dances. I wonder if the security
officers would notice if I had a fairy penguin in my jacket. Hmmmm....I
might have to consider that when I got to Australia again. Thanks for the
tips on how to steal a penguin! Mwuahahahahaha!~Krista~
good story
Ryan W. Yeah for Penguins!!!!! Yeah for Penguin freedom!!!! Boo for me not being able to see penguins in the zoo!!!!! love you kisses byeee
Courtney the girl who needs to get to ass in the shower Im not a fan of penguin stealing!!! but if they need a good home, then i can see why someone would do such a thing. Its nice that barbara wanted to send patrick back to his family at the south pole, i think everyone should be nice enough to free a caged animal... donate to the humane society people!
Pinky I was definetly unimpressed with the story. I know it's supposed to be silly, but it should at least have some direction. The other silly stories you have written do have direction and some depth, but this story was lacking in both areas. It seemed very rushed, maybe because you were writing it so late. And also nobody wants you to fall off the face of the earth, cause who would write us silly stories if you did!
Marv "The Mad Scientist"
I loved it!! I love penguins also so I totally understand how she would want to steal one of those cute little animals!! -kendra Okay that was just great Meagan. Made my day
especially since I stuck in the house with my parents
all day...thank you ice storm. Anyway, fabulous story
and I would also like to steal a penguin...who's with
me.
Love ya lots
Morgan
Meagan~
That was fun. I don't think i will be living with
penguins though. It would be a little chilly and i
doubt there any poppets there. Wait.... maybe there
is a cute penguin enthusiast you could take with you.
Anyway time to work. Bye!
Sarah
Great Story Meagan!! I'm so excited to see the PSA going back to where they
truly belong- amongst the penguins! Sorry it's been so long since I've
responded to a Silly Story. I have made a new year's resolution to get back in
the habit of responding to these stories. Sorry it took me the whole month to
get started. And- Congratulations on making it past 100 silly stories! Meagan,
you should be proud of your accomplishments.
Talk to you all soon!
lisa
p.s. I'll be home on the weekend of February 20, incase anyone is available to
do anything fun that weekend. Just thought I would let you all know.
105
Ok Just to verify that I did infact not fall off the face of the planet I will write you a silly story. Now I do need to get my little ass off to work real soon so we're gonna fly through this. Hope you like it anyway!
Check out the pic at the site if you haven't.
www.angelfire.com/la3/nightengale8402/index.html
Silly Sotry 105
Greedy Beluga
One day while Juma was swimming along sulking he came across a mystical sea which, who appeared to him in the form of a cow. Juma had never seen such a creature and was at first afraid it was going to eat him. Instead the cow offered to make Juma big. So Juma agreed. He would pay her with a small tug boat, because she said he would be big enough to hold one in his fin. So he agreed.
The next day Juma woke up and things seemed very very different. The water seemed extremely shallow and there were some strange looking fish swimming very quickly away from him. Then suddenly he realized those were other whales. Juma's feelings were hurt to see them run. Juma tried swimming. He noted that it was no where near as much fun for the simple fact he could only swim 70ft up or down. Juma decided that this was too big and set out to find the witch. She told him to get the boat.
So Juma, angered that the witch would not help him again went and found a boat. He found a boat quite larger than asked for and squished the sea witch with it which broke all her spells ever cast. Which made Juma nonexistant because the which had created a sort of whale viagera for his dad and without which he would not exist. But everyone else lived quite happily ever after.
The End
Moral: No matter how many people mistake you for a trout, Don't be a greedy bastard RESPONSES: aww poor guy he just wanted to be like everyone else, and I don't like characters being killed off! boooo *kisses* love you byeee
courtney the classed-out So the shirt I'm wearing in that picture on your website, not only do I still have it but I wear it all the time. At least I don't have the same hairstyle. All of us look so young, it's funny.
I'll be home tonight
Jill
okay that was pretty freaking good for a quick story.
I liked it quite a bit.
love ya lots
morgan
Wow, I did not even know that the phrase "whale viagra" could exist, yet here it is. I hope that is something I never hear about again, and I DEFINITELY don't want to see it in action. Poor Juma. He should've just paid the cow witch (another phrase I didn't know could exist) with the tow boat and found a bigger ocean. I think the moral should be "If you can't love yourself, squash a cow witch." Catchy, isn't it?
- Kyla the super-pissed because all her Friday night plans fell through and the dorm has no water (a.k.a.- not allowed to take a piss) : 1/2 out of a possible five
Very good story because it portrays the true lifestyle of a big person (such as myself)!! I love how the witch got squished!!! It made me laugh!!! Have a great day!!
Kendra
awwww i feel sorry for him!! now hes too big :( i think he was prolly cute enough when he was small!! i think this teaches us all a lesson, we need to be happy with ourselves wonderful hidden message in the story meggie!
pinky the great Great story Meagan!! I agree with Marla. We should all be happy with
ourselves. We are all beautiful just how we are. Life lessons from Meagan. You
are wise beyond your years. We could all learn a thing or two from her.
FYI- I will be home the weekend of the 20. Anyone interested in getting
together and possibly meeting my suitemate Tara (she might be coming home that
weekend with me), let me know. You are all welcome to come over to my house
Saturday night. We can decide what we want to do from there, or just play
games downstairs, or something- anything!!! Just let me know if you're coming
so that I can make arrangements for snacks. Brownies, cookies, chips and dip
anyone? It will be a great way to catch up on what's going on in each other's
lives.
Talk to you all soon!
Love Always,
Lisa
I love the picture on the website! We are all so young! Anyway...great
silly story! I thoroughly enjoyed the briefness of it, since I have no time
to do anything anymore. I feel bad that Juma no longer exists b/c of all
the spells being broken. : ( Oh well, the freakin' witch and the greedy
beluga had it comin'! ~Krista, the not-so-in-a-good-mood cowboy lover~
Meagan~ Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Ok that was wierd.
Sarah
106
hola friendly peoples!
Guess what! It's friday the thritenth! ahhhh But it's the day before V-day which means you get a love story awwww
I'm sorry we didn't celbrate a week of love like we did last year. And yes that last story was bit on the odd side. :) I'm at work, but let's face it. I need a break at the moment. I can't concentrate anyway :) Ask me why later...
So here we go haapy v-day and here's a rose for you
@---->------
dilly lory 106
Coconut Covered Chocolate Dipped Cinnamin Balls
Susane was a very sucessful single woman who had never had the pleasure of having a valentine. Not because she was not pretty or nice or witty enough to have, but because she didn't want anything to interfere with her work.
Jake was the same way. Another thing that Jake had in common with Susane was an unGodly love for coconut covered, chocolate dipped, cinamin balls. These were a very rare treat indeed.
One day a coconut covered, chocolate dipped, cinamin balls and other treats vender was picking up shop and absent mindly left one coconut covered, chocolate dipped, cinimin ball laying unattained, unwatched, and uneaton on little dolie on small coffe table for two, next to where he had set up his wagon.
This happened to be left in the lobby of the building that both Susane and Jake wourked at.
Susane came briskly walking by and passed the table just barely glancing over, she had a meeting to get to. Jake was passing in the opposite direction, he had a plane to catch, and he too slightly glanced over enough to see the treat.
They both stopped. They walked over. They reached for the coconut covered, chocolate dipped, cinamin ball and their hands clasped atop one another. They slowly lifted their heads to look at eachother. Then something magical happened. Even the coconut shavings seemed to be singing in blessed harmony. susane and jake slowly sat at the table for two, split the coconut covered, chocolate dipped, cinamin ball in half and shared it with out a word.
When they finished they rose from the table and alloped.
Being that Jake and Susanne had spent so little money on anythhing that would imply anythign fun they were both un Godly rich. They quit their jobs and opened a Coconut Covered, Chocolate Dipped, Cinaminn Ball and Other Tasty Treats store. They even allowed the vender that had forgotten that one ball to work there and paid him very well. They lived happily ever after.
The End
Moral: Chocolate is good for you love life. RESPONSES Wonderfulful story meagan!! how tall is jake and what does he look like?? I want some coconut covered, chocolate dipped, cinnamon balls!!! If i see one, will a hottie be there with it also??? hmm.. bye all!!! im gonna go looking for coconut covered, chocolate dipped cinnamon balls!!!
Everyone have a Great Valentines Day, and try not to eat too much candy!
Pinky the GREAT I agree with Marla. If I go looking for those coconut covered chocolate dipped
cinammon balls, will there be a hottie waiting for me? The bigger question,
will he feed them to me? Of course he will. We're going to run away together
and eat them all day long. And we won't gain an ounce of weight!!! Hooray.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Enjoy the chocolate, today is the only day
that it doesn't make you fat. Then we have to hit the gym. That reminds me, I
need to work out...
lisa Aww...so sweet and romantic. I wish I had enough money to open any kind of
freakin' store that I want to. Oh well. I found this story a lot better
than the last one. Even though I must say that you are an amazing author
Meagan. I give you props on all of your stories! Go Meagan! Give me a
M...E...A...G...A...N! What's that spell? MEAGAN! Say it again! MEAGAN!
One more time! MEAGAN! ~Krista~
I liked it. Very sweet story for the weekend.
Morgan
Yeah sorry I was so slow to reply I've been behind on alot of stuff...loved
the story, love chocolate, love you!!!
Courtney the homework hippie