BANDS ON THE RUN

 

SCRIPTMENT v1.3

Started 26/09/01

Completed 4/09/02

This Version - 9/12/03

We start on a busy city street downtown. Traffic bustles, as do the hordes of pedestrians up and down the streets. We hold outside a tall building, labelled by a huge sign outside as "WANING BROS. RECORDS." As we hold, a black limousine drives into shot and screeches to a halt. The rear passenger door facing us swings open, and Martyn is thrown out to land in a heap on the pavement. The door slams shut and the car speeds off.

Martyn is 23, slim, 5' 12" with spiky brown hair, and a little unkempt looking from his hit with the pavement, dressed in the kind of clothes someone without a big wardrobe wears to try and look smart. In his hand he clutches an open and empty CD case, with "DEMO" labelled in marker on the front. After a beat, another screech of tires is heard O.C, and a CD rolls slowly past him to land at his feet. With a resigned sigh, Martyn picks it up, places it back in the box, and turns to look up at the tall building in front of him.

We follow Martyn as the credits roll around him. He crosses the busy road and bounds up the steps leading to the outside of the building. The security guard eyes him warily as he enters, before talking into his radio.

GUARD
Attention, all floor staff,
looks like we have another
musician in here.

Martyn is oblivious to this and continues inside. He walks up to the front reception desk and stands there patiently, as the receptionist chews gum and listens to a phone call with a bored look on her face. Martyn coughs. She looks up, looks him up and down, and lowers the receiver from her mouth.

RECEPTIONIST

All demo material, tenth

floor.

 

 

MARTYN

How did -

 

 

RECEPTIONIST

Elevators are that way.

(points)

Thank you.

 

 

MARTYN

Who do -

 

 

RECEPTIONIST

Ask for a Mr. Barrington.

 

The receptionist returns to her call. Martyn heads for the elevators. We ride with him to the tenth floor. As he leaves the elevator, we hold on a small security camera positioned in the lift, its red light blinking like a tiny evil eye.

We cut to the security office, where a guard before a wall of TV screens is watching Martyn leave the elevator.

GUARD #2

Copy that, we have him

on floor 10. All units, stay

alert.

 

Cut back to Martyn, walking down a short corridor and turning into a large open plan office area. Cubeville, 2001 style. Lots of different pieces of music float around from numerous radios, TV sets, internet connections and the like. The office workers are in clumps, each group listening to something being played to them. Martyn stops one, an attractive OFFICE GIRL as she walks past.

MARTYN

'Scuse me. Where is -

 

 

OFFICE GIRL

(looks him up and down)

Mr. Barrington's office is that

way.

(points)

 

 

MARTYN

Why do -

 

 

OFFICE GIRL

It's your clothes. Trust me,

we get thousands of wannabe

rock stars in here every week,

and you match the description.

 

 

MARTYN

Thanks, I guess.

 

 

OFFICE GIRL

Don't mention it.

 

Martyn heads for the office. At the door, he is about to knock when the door flies open and another MUSICIAN, dressed surprisingly similar to Martyn, storms out of the office. He turns in the doorframe to yell back into the room.

MUSICIAN

You corporate fat cat

capitalist pigs wouldn't

know a new and original

sound if it stole your damn

wallet!

 

A CD labelled "DEMO" with black marker pen flies out of the room, striking the Musician squarely in his forehead. He hits the deck like a sack of potatoes. As Martyn watches, shocked, two OFFICE WORKERS pop up from their cubicles, sigh, and walk over to drag the unfortunate musician O.S.

 

VOICE (O.S.)

Well?

 

Martyn jumps as a gruff voice calls him from inside the office. He peers round into the room. BARRINGTON sits behind his desk. Despite his position of power, Barrington is not dressed like a typical executive. He has long, wavy black hair, a lip ring and a jet black suit on with a tasteful red tie. Barrington is tall and well built. He blows a puff of cigar smoke out and motions for Martyn to enter.

BARRINGTON
Come on, kid, don't waste

everyone's time. I promise

I won't stun you like I had

to with that one.

 

 

MARTYN

How did -

 

 

BARRINGTON

It's your clothes. Now

take a seat before I call

security.

 

 

Martyn races into the office and hops into a seat opposite Barrington. The door behind him swings slowly closed all by itself. As it slams, Martyn jumps again.

BARRINGTON

You look nervous, kid. Don't

be. Now tell me your story.

 

 

MARTYN

(deep breath)

Well, I could -

 

 

BARRINGTON

Leave out the boring stuff.

 

 

MARTYN

Boring stuff?

 

 

BARRINGTON

You know, your name, the

band's name, your "sound,"

how you met, that crap. Do

you want a record deal?

 

 

MARTYN

Yes.

 

 

BARRINGTON

Do you have a demo?

 

 

MARTYN
Yes.

(holds it out)

 

 

BARRINGTON

Then let's cut to the chase.

 

Barrington takes the CD and opens the disk tray on his stereo, which sits beside him on top of the desk. He presses play. We close up on the machinery of the stereo working - the laser glides into places, the CD begins spinning, and we follow an electrical pulse through to the speakers and back out into the office. Two seconds of music are heard before Barrington pauses the CD.

BARRINGTON

Is this crap?

 

 

MARTYN

No way. Top stuff, I

assure you.

 

 

BARRINGTON

(grins)

Last person who said that

to me is a rich man by now.

 

The CD continues. We hear two more seconds before Barrington stops it. Martyn looks a little confused.

MARTYN

Aren't you going to listen

to it?

 

 

BARRINGTON

I'm a busy man, son. If I

spent my time listening to

every single demo that gets

handed to me, I'd die before

I was halfway through that

lot over there.

 

Barrington points O.S. We follow his finger to a HUGE pile of CDs that fills one wall almost to the ceiling. It looks extremely precarious, stacked in random piles and heaped on top of one another. One slides out and hits the floor as we watch, a plain CD case labelled "DEMO" in black marker.

BARRINGTON

Fact is, I have a trained

ear that can detect crap at

a thousand paces. Your

stuff sounds okay.

 

Martyn breathes out, looks a little more relaxed.

BARRINGTON

But that's just step one.

You have a long way to

go to make it here yet.

 

 

MARTYN
Name your price.

 

 

BARRINGTON

That's what I'm supposed

to say! Are your band ready

to play tonight?

 

 

MARTYN
If you book them, they

will come.

 

 

BARRINGTON

Can you make it back here

with them by..

(consults watch)

8 tonight?

 

 

MARTYN

Not a problem.

 

 

BARRINGTON

I'm holding an A&R thing

tonight for a new idea I had.

You interested?

 

 

MARTYN
So far. Tell me more!

 

Barrington stands and begins to pace back and forth in front of the windows in the back wall of his office, waving his hands as he talks, explaining his great vision.

BARRINGTON

Four bands, each hungry

for a record deal, each hand

picked by me from the A&R

showcase tonight. We set them

up with transport and send them

off round the country, going

from city to city, playing at

venues we arrange for them,

each competing against the other

to earn as much cash as possible

from ticket sales and merchandise.

At the end of the tour, the band

with the most cash gets the contract.

 

 

MARTYN

Sounds perfect!

 

 

BARRINGTON

I know. Plus, it gets my

business a crapload of free

publicity and also hands me

a band proven to succeed in

the outside world and

guaranteed public support.

It's every record label's dream.

Bands like that are one in a

million, so I figured I'd find

myself one of them.

 

 

MARTYN

I'm in. So is my band.

 

 

BARRINGTON

Name?

 

 

MARTYN

I'm Martyn, my band is

called Wavelength.

 

 

BARRINGTON

Welcome aboard.

 

Barrington leans across the desk and offers Martyn his hand. He shakes it, standing himself.

BARRINGTON

Just don't play like crap

tonight and you're sorted.

I like you, Martyn, you've

got good manners. That's

a rare thing in this business.

 

Martyn smiles, so does Barrington. He turns and leaves as another OFFICE WORKER runs into the room past him.

OFFICE WORKER
More problems with Cosmic

Space Vibe Babies, Sir! It seems

that Chet, the singer, has

apparently lost his mojo again and

he's refusing to play.

 

 

BARRINGTON

(mutters)

Bloody hippies..

(shouts)

Martyn! See you tonight!

(to Office Worker)

Close the door after him, man!

Were you raised in a barn?

 

Martyn steps outside the office as the worker swings the door shut.

BARRINGTON (O.S.)

But don't slam it!

 

The door slams. There is a cry of terror and then the sound of hundreds of CD cases labelled "DEMO" in black marker sliding from the wall and burying the unfortunate worker. Martyn shakes his head and walks away with a smile. As he reaches the end of the open plan area, Barrington forces the door open and sticks his head out into the office.

BARRINGTON

Does anyone have a shovel?

 

Martyn steps out of the elevator and back onto the ground floor, where he is immediately grabbed by a bunch of security guards. He struggles as they drag him across the lobby towards the front doors.

MARTYN
What's going on? I didn't

do anything!

 

 

GUARD #3

We had reports of a fatality

on the tenth floor.

 

 

MARTYN

What?!

 

 

GUARD #4

Some poor office guy got

flattened by a pile of demo

CDs.

 

 

MARTYN

But why me?

 

 

GUARD #3

What's that in your hand,

sir?

 

Martyn looks down. He is holding his demo CD. It is cracked from when it was thrown from the car earlier. He looks up at the guards again, whose steely eyes mean trouble.

MARTYN

Now wait just a minute..

 

 

GUARD #4

Are you familiar with Paul

McCartney, sir?

 

 

MARTYN

I never - huh? Yes, why?

 

 

GUARD #3

Remember the band he made

after leaving the Beatles?

 

 

MARTYN

Yes, Wings. Why?

 

 

GUARD #4

You may be in need of some.

 

We cut to a worm's eye view of the outside of the building as Martyn is thrown into the air by the guards. He sails past the camera with a shout, his arms flailing, until he lands O.S. with a thump. After a beat, his CD flies past after him. There is a thunk as it hits him.

Martyn heads back home to the Wavelength HQ, which is an average flat in an average neighbourhood. He greets various people as he heads up the stairs to the fourth floor. Sounds of various instruments being tuned up and cranking out warm up riffs can be heard up the stairs. Martyn gets to the top and heads for the door to room 401, unlocking it and stepping inside.

The other members of the band are all here: SARAH, who is performing vocal warm up exercises by the apartments window, and is 25, same height as Martyn with wavy black shoulder length hair, wearing a floor length black sparkly dress; STEVEN, sat cross legged on the floor next to a guitar amp and a stack of effects units, fiddling around with a large circuit board that appears to be part of one of the units, who is 24, average height, wiry frame, with neck length parted hair and a pointy moustache/beard combo, wearing an obscure industrial band's t-shirt, combats and a baseball cap; JOHN, who is loading things into his keyboard stand while absent mindedly flicking through channels on the TV, who is 23, tall, well built with shorter parted black hair, wearing a NIN hooded top and combats; NEIL, who is restringing his bass guitar, the youngest at 21, 5' 9" but very thin, with big brown eyes and slicked parted black hair, but smartly dressed in expensive looking black trousers and a grey shirt; and JIM, whose drum kit sits in several pieces around him as he plays furiously on the Playstation in the other corner of the room, who is 23, 6', well built with a floppy brown hairdo and big, mischievously glinting eyes. Jim wears a pair of faded jeans and a plain red t-shirt. The apartment is sparsely furnished but it is all these guys need - guitars, keyboards, amps and drum kits take up most of the space. The floor is bare except for odd patches of rug, and there are two large, squashy sofas. The general detritus of six twentysomethings living together covers every available surface - magazines, food wrappers, videos, CD cases and the like. As Martyn enters they all stop their fiddling and turn to look expectantly at him.

SARAH

Well?

 

 

STEVEN

Any luck today?

 

 

MARTYN

I got us something.

 

 

NEIL

Yes! What?

 

 

MARTYN

I have no idea.

 

 

JIM

This isn't going to be

another wind up, is it?

 

 

JOHN

Yeah, like that radio station

launch party.

 

 

NEIL

The pirate station?

 

 

JOHN

The one that got raided by the

police while we were playing.

 

 

STEVEN

Yeah, Sarah got confiscated.

 

 

SARAH

I was not resisting arrest!

 

 

STEVEN

No, but your outfit was very

arresting.

 

 

JOHN

Yeah, the schoolgirl thing

did the trick alright.

 

 

MARTYN

(coughs to gain their attention)

Hem-hem.

 

 

SARAH

Sorry, you were saying?

 

 

MARTYN

I went to see Barrington at

Waning Bros. Records today.

 

 

JOHN

Why them?

 

 

MARTYN

Lucky hunch.

 

 

JIM
So you weren't thrown out of

a car in front of the nearest

record company this time?

 

 

MARTYN
(beat)

No. Anyway, they're holding

some kind of A&R thing this

evening, and they invited us

along.

 

 

NEIL
What time?

 

 

MARTYN

Their building, at 8.

 

 

STEVEN

That only gives us..

(consults watch)

two and a half hours.

 

 

MARTYN

We've got ready in less.

 

 

SARAH

Yeah, the Philadelphia

Experiment comes to mind.

 

 

JIM

I'm not the one who wanted

the full pyrotechnics show!

 

 

JOHN

You weren't the one who got

electrocuted when the sprinkler

system shorted out my keyboards,

either..

 

 

MARTYN
ANYWAY!!

 

They all turn to look. Martyn holds up the (now pretty battered) demo CD.

MARTYN

Mr. Barrington listened to the

demo, liked it, made us a

proposition. He's planning this

new tour or something..

 

Dissolve as Martyn explains things to the outside of the Waning Bros. building, accelerated time photography to fast forward two and a half hours. As night falls, the building and those around it gradually light up for the night, and a stream of people head inside - the other bands and their entourages. The accelerated time shot stops as we watch the Wavelength tour bus, a plain black minivan with the band's logo on the side, pull up at the entrance to the underground parking lot at the side of the building. A security barrier and guard stop the bus at the entrance, and Martyn winds the window down to address the guard.

MARTYN

Hi, we're -

 

 

GUARD #5

All bands head for the

far side of the lot.

 

 

MARTYN

How did -

 

 

GUARD #5

It's the van. In you go.

 

The barrier lifts and the bus drives inside. Inside the tour bus, we see that the six members are quite cramped with their equipment squeezed in as well, but are upbeat and chatting about what to expect. Martyn parks the bus next to a line of similar minivans, and the band slide the side doors open and climb out. Two uniformed Waning Bros. staff come over to help them unload. A large elevator can be seen about ten metres away, and the lift doors are just closing on another band, five guys looking like rockers. The skin on their drum kit can be read, and it says "Southern Voodoo."

UNLOADER #1

So, who are you guys?

 

 

MARTYN

We're Wavelength.

 

 

UNLOADER #2

Oh yeah, the British guys.

 

 

STEVEN

How do you know?

 

 

UNLOADER #2

We've all been briefed on who's

attending tonight. We always get

a few uninvited guests trying to

sneak in.

 

 

SARAH

How many other bands are there?

 

 

UNLOADER #1

Eight including you.

 

 

NEIL
So four go and four stay?

 

 

UNLOADER #1

Right. You get time to set up

and soundcheck, then you get

three songs to impress the

bosses.

 

 

MARTYN

No problem.

 

One of the show's organisers, a thirty year old brunette woman called MADELINE, walks over. She is tall, slim and dressed in expensive jeans and a CK top - your standard outfit for a suit in "casuals." She holds a clipboard and takes down the details of the band. As she talks to them, an old, beaten up bus coughs and splutters its way in and parks up next to the Wavelength bus. Martyn and Steven walk round to see who the other band is, but the van's panels are blank. The engine backfires a few times then comes to a stop, and the van's doors are thrown open. Smoke pours out from the inside, and the members of UNDERDOG step out, coughing and trying to waft away the fumes.

Alex is the same height as Martyn but a little stockier, with short spiky black hair and glasses, wearing all black. Simon is tall, wiry and sporting a brown closely shaven head, with the bombed out look of someone whose nervous system has seen better days. Simon wears a brown leather jacket with a blue t-shirt and black jeans. Ian is short and thin, with closely cropped black hair and glasses, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Rob is Martyn's height, pretty skinny, and dressed in a garish clash of t-shirt, long sleeve and bermuda shirt. Matthew is short and of average build, with very curly blonde hair and a big baggy jumper on over his jeans.

ALEX

How old is this damn thing?

 

 

IAN
Older than your last girlfriend,

that's for sure.

 

 

ROB

Smells alright to me.

 

 

ALEX
This coming from a man who

washes in the morning by dousing

himself in baby powder..

 

 

ROB

Never had any complaints so far.

Not that anyone comes near enough..

 

 

SIMON

(emerging from the smoke)

What? What? Are we at war?

 

 

ALEX

Calm down, dude. It's okay.

We're here, not back in 'Nam.

 

 

SIMON

Right. Yes. Good. Okay then.

 

 

MARTYN

Er, hi there.

 

 

ALEX
Hey.

(comes over, shakes hands)

I'm Alex. This is my band,

Underdog.

 

 

MARTYN

I'm Martyn, this is Steve.

We're Wavelength.

 

 

ALEX
So, what's the story here?

I mean, we've heard about

this cross-country tour thing,

but we're still a bit in the dark.

 

 

STEVEN

(off Rob)

So I see.

 

 

IAN

We need to make it onto

the tour. Things aren't looking

too rosy for us right now.

 

 

ALEX
Yeah, this is a one way trip

for us.

 

As if to compliment him, the Underdog bus groans once and then collapses down as its wheels fall off. The bus seems to sag visibly, its spirit leaving once and for all.

ALEX
Literally.

 

 

MARTYN

Here. We'll help you guys

load up and then we'll all

head upstairs.

 

 

IAN

Thanks a lot.

 

The unloaders come over and help Underdog get their stuff out, before the two bands and their equipment are helped into the lift and sent up to the stage floor.

The doors open and we are greeted with a large room and a stage at one end roughly six feet off the ground. There is a dazzling array of lights bathing the stage in several different colours as the technicians play around and test things out, and there is a buzz of voices and activity as the six other bands sort themselves out. Two EXECUTIVES, trying to dress smart and official, yet still "trendy," walk over. The first, BLACKSHAW, wearing a Pearl Jam "Ten" cap on, shakes the hands of Alex and Martyn enthusiastically. The other, PETE, looks on with a roll of his eyes at his colleague and greets the other band members.

BLACKSHAW

Hello! Hello! Welcome

aboard, boys. Good to see

you. Oh, and hello, er, girl.

 

 

SARAH

Thanks.

 

 

PETE

What my colleague here is

trying to say is, put your

stuff over there and then go

mingle with the other bands.

We'll sort you out a soundcheck

slot in a second.

 

 

MARTYN

Cheers.

 

 

ALEX
So how does this work?

 

 

BLACKSHAW
You each play three songs. The

four bands we like best, after a

vote by the members of the board,

will go on the tour.

 

 

STEVEN

What's the tour called?

 

 

PETE
Provisionally, "Bands On The

Run."

 

 

IAN

(sideways look at Rob and Simon)

How appropriate.

 

 

PETE

We'll tell you more about the

tour if you actually get on it.

 

 

MARTYN

Then let's get set up.

 

The two bands lug their equipment over towards the stage, glancing around at the crowd of people in front of it as they pass. The other six bands are formed into separate groups, and then there are twenty or so executives and office staff milling around and chatting to the bands. From the equipment cases and drum skins, we see SOUTHERN VOODOO again, then four goth chicks who are HAIKU, next to four long-haired metalheads called SPITBOX, followed by five glam rock types called DABROWSKI, then three punks who are HAIL TO THE KING, and finally two girls and two boys who all look like very out-of-place trendies, called REVOLUTION BABY. Underdog and Wavelength dump their stuff down and begin taking guitars out of cases, setting up keyboard stands, etc. Scanning around, Martyn catches the eye of one of the girls from Haiku, who smiles as her bandmates talk around her. Martyn grins back and waves. She waves back. She is short and pretty, slim with long, curly blonde hair. Dressed like her bandmates in a mix of blacks and reds, she looks good. Martyn keeps his eye on her for a beat, but then he is tapped on the shoulder by Steven, and the two of them help Jim unload his drum kit. Martyn glances back, but the girl and her band are now busy talking to one of the executives. Blackshaw and Madeline step onto the stage. Blackshaw taps one of the three microphones set up, causing a feedback whine which makes everyone wince in pain.

BLACKSHAW

Uh, ah, sorry. Well! Here we

all are then. All eight of you,

ready to find out which four

will be on Waning Bros. records'

inaugural Bands On The Run!

 

Blackshaw waits for the applause. After a long beat, the suits get the message and start clapping, followed by the bands. Blackshaw sighs with relief.

MADELINE

We'll be on our way soon.

The two bands left to sound

check are..

(consults clipboard)

Wavelength and Underdog.

If those two groups would

like to make their way over to

the stage, the rest of you are

free to watch or head for the

refreshments over there.

 

She points, and we follow her aim to a long row of tables against one wall. Lots of plates of food, beer and drink are set up there. Without a second's hesitation, every member of the other bands heads for the free food and beer, leaving only the executives in front of the stage. They look at one another for a second, then head for the food too.

JOHN
Good job. I hate people

watching us check.

 

 

SIMON

Why's that?

 

 

JOHN

Not that it's like a free

preview, it's just an easy

way for people to not like

you straight away as you

tune up and get settled.

 

 

ALEX
I hear ya. You never play

well straight away. You

gotta warm up first.

 

 

ROB

I got the best way to warm up!

(swigs from a bottle of JD)

Now let's go before I can't

focus anymore!

 

 

IAN

Hey Rob, how does the bass

line to "Jeremy" go?

 

 

ROB

Screw you!

 

 

MARTYN

Huh?

 

 

IAN
Long story. We'll tell you

later on.

 

 

MADELINE

Wavelength, you ready?

 

 

STEVEN

Yup.

 

Wavelength plug in, tune up and let rip, playing one of their songs. We cut over to the refreshments stand, where the other bands, armed with their free stuff, are leaning against the tables and watching the band play. Everyone looks impressed apart from Dabrowksi and Southern Voodoo. Wavelength finish and Underdog step up, playing their main song. Again, Dabrowksi and Southern Voodoo look bored. They want to show the execs how good they are and show up the other bands. Wavelength and Underdog both get a round of applause when they finish. Blackshaw calls all the bands back over.

BLACKSHAW

Right, we're all set. First on are

Southern Voodoo, next are

Dabrowski, then Haiku, Spitbox,

Revolution Baby, Hail To The King,

Underdog and Wavelength. So

let's get started!

 

 

MADELINE

Southern Voodoo, please make

your way to the stage.

 

The other bands manage a round of sporting applause as Voodoo take their guitars up and start playing. We watch one song of each band, dissolving from one to the next and playing about a minute of each. Voodoo play a bouncy, RATM style number that goes down well. Dabrowski play a painfully waily heavy indie song that almost gets booed. Haiku hit out with a rocky goth song, punctuated by excellent guitar solos. Spitbox thrash out a fast speed metal tune which isn't bad, but a bit too extreme for what the executives want. Revolution Baby, looking very uncomfortable, turn out a radio friendly Transvision Vamp-esque number, which is met with very weak applause afterwards. Hail To The King get through three songs in five minutes flat, 100% pure punk. Underdog's U2 style song is a big hit, as is Wavelength's NIN sounding tune. When all the bands have finished, they take up positions before the stage again as Blackshaw and Madeline take to the stage again.

MADELINE
Thanks to everyone. The

panel will make their decisions

shortly. In the meantime, well,

you know where the free stuff is.

 

The crowd of musicians head back to the free food as the suits huddle and talk to each other, with Madeline and Blackshaw making marks on their clipboards as they talk. After the marks have been made, Madeline takes the stage one last time.

MADELINE

Okay, here are the votes.

Southern Voodoo, 20 votes. You're

on the tour. Dabrowski, 0 votes.

Sorry, guys. Haiku, 15 votes. You're

on the tour too.

 

Haiku whoop with delight and are congratulated by the other bands, except Dabrowski, who sulk and start loading up with the rest of the free food and drink to compensate themselves.

MADELINE

Spitbox, 8 votes. Revolution

Baby, 3 votes. Hail To The King,

4 votes. Underdog, 15 votes. You're

on the tour. And last up, Wavelength,

20 votes. You're the fourth band.

 

Cheers. Applause. Spitbox, Revolution Baby and Hail To The King are gracious in defeat. Southern Voodoo look smug and pleased, like this was just a formality. Alex and Martyn congratulate each other.

ALEX
Nice work, man.

 

 

MARTYN

You too. Now comes the

hard part.

 

 

ALEX
Aah, it'll be a cinch.

 

 

MADELINE

If the four winning bands

could follow my associates

upstairs to the meeting room,

my staff will help you pack up

your gear. My condolences to

the four losers. Better luck next

time.

 

The bands pack up their stuff. Martyn manoeuvres himself so he can bump into the girl from Haiku he was smiling at earlier. She is hefting up the bass drum from her kit into its bag when Martyn nudges her. She almost drops it, but he helps her grab it.

MARTYN

Whoops! Almost lost you

there.

 

 

ALICIA

Thanks. I'm Alicia.

 

 

MARTYN

Martyn.

(they shake hands, more smiles)

Good job up there.

 

 

ALICIA

You too! That's an interesting

sound you guys have.

 

 

MARTYN

"Interesting" is one word for

it. "Hard to explain" are a few

more. We're a bit too different

to fit in most places.

 

 

ALICIA

Try being in an all girl goth

band.

 

 

EMILY
Tell me about it! We get two

lots of hassle - one for being

girls, and two for wearing black

and listening to Siouxsie and the

Banshees.

 

 

ALICIA
Allow me to introduce my girls.

That's Emily.

 

 

EMILY

Hi.

 

 

ALICIA

Professional man-hater and band

founder. That there is Kate.

 

Kate waves with a quick, shy glance up. She's a lot more covered up than the other girls, and doesn't say much either. Kate is short and a little stocky with curly ginger hair, dressed in black and not showing too much of her pale skin. Emily, however, is hot and knows it. Dressed to kill in a PVC miniskirt and bust-flattering black and white top, her shoulder-length black hair floats from side to side as she whips her head round, keeping an eye on everything. Jesse is tall and another redhead, in a short black leather coat and a long skirt underneath.

ALICIA

She's the quiet one. And that

there is Jesse, our career girl.

 

 

JESSE
Don't be fooled. Having a real

job just pays the bills of being

a rock star.

 

 

MARTYN

Well, my crew is Steven, Neil,

Jim, John and Sarah. Looks like

we'll all get chance to get more

acquainted on the tour.

 

 

ALICIA

I hope so.

 

 

MARTYN

Right, I've got to dash. Catch

you girls later!

 

 

ALICIA

See you soon.

 

 

JESSE

(off Martyn as he walks away)

Cute.

 

 

ALICIA
Not bad at all.

 

 

EMILY

If you turn traitor to the band,

you're walking home, sister.

 

 

ALICIA

Don't tempt me!

 

Back with Underdog, Alex and Ian wander over to meet the Southern Voodoo boys. Lawrence is a little taller than Martyn and well built with it, with short, curly brown hair and the kind of good looks that leaves babies all over the world. Lawrence is dressed in the ever-vague "smart casual" way, with a swish leather jacket and smart trousers and a shirt on. Jeffries, average height with very pale blonde hair, is in sports gear, brand name tops and tracksuit bottoms. Bill is tall at 6' 3" and powerfully packed, dressed plainly in a tight-fitting t-shirt and jeans. Mike is shorter than his fellows but you can tell he works out. As classically handsome as Lawrence, he dresses like an extra from Goodfellas. Rich is a physically unattractive ginger guy, in the band to make his bandmates look more visually appealing. Tall and stocky, he shares Jeffries's taste in sports gear.

ALEX
Hey there. I’m Alex, this is

Ian.

 

 

LAWRENCE

Lawrence. This is Jeffries,

Bill, Mike and Rich.

 

 

IAN
Good show up there.

 

 

JEFFRIES
We know! We knew we

could make it. You three

were the only real competition.

 

 

ALEX
I dunno, Spitbox weren't bad.

 

 

BILL

Yeah, but we're better.

 

 

IAN

(with a "these guys are pricks" look)

Well, we'd best finish packing

up.

 

 

ALEX
Yup, see you boys later.

 

 

IAN

(once out of earshot)

They seem confident.

 

 

ALEX
Yeah, a little too confident.

 

 

IAN

Remind me to beat them.

 

Back with Southern Voodoo, packed up and enjoying a post-gig smoke.

LAWRENCE

Bunch of pussies. This'll be

a cakewalk.

 

 

BILL

I dunno, the other bands

are pretty good.

 

 

JEFFRIES
We'll be fine, I think.

 

 

MIKE
We have plenty of back

up plans, remember?

 

 

BILL

Suits me.

 

Cut to the conference room. A long, rectangular table with three chairs at its head and a map of the States on the wall behind it. Framed photos of the company's big name artists and their platinum records adorn the walls. The four bands file in and take their seats, admiring the rock and roll heritage on display. Martyn and Alicia end up opposite one another, grinning like schoolkids as they chat to their bandmates. The doors open again as Barrington walks in, followed by BLAKE and KENNY, the other two Chief Executives. The bands quieten down as the three suits take their seats. Blake is tall and thin, while Kenny is short and dumpy.

BARRINGTON
Hello everyone. This is Mr. Blake

and Mr. Kenny, chief execs here at

Waning Bros. Records. I'd like to be

the first to congratulate you on

making it onto the Bands On The

Run 2001 tour. Well done.

 

The bands exchange satisfied looks with one another. Blake and Kenny bring up manilla folders and start passing them down the table to each of the bands.

BARRINGTON
While my colleagues here pass

around some handy information

for you all, I'll explain the details

of the tour a little bit better.

 

Barrington stands and paces around the room, behind the chairs, smoking a cigar as he talks.

BARRINGTON

Each band will receive a brand

spanking new tour bus, with

a trailer to carry your equipment

and plenty of room for the band

members inside. Fuel will be paid

for through credit cards we will

issue you. Each member will receive

$20 a day spending money, but if

you wish to use money from your

ticket and merch sales, you may.

In each city along the route, you

have each been assigned a venue

to play, and you will have two days

in each city to promote your show

and sell merchandise, supplies of

which we have already begun to

arrange with your management.

Or your mother, in Underdog's

case.

 

 

ALEX
Hey, what can I say, she's

our biggest fan.

 

 

IAN
Some would say only.

 

 

BARRINGTON

We will add up the totals for

each city along the way, with

bonus opportunities for cash

also arranged should you choose

to accept them, and the band who

has the most money at the tour's

close will be the winner, and will

sign a record contract with me on

your return. Any questions?

 

 

MARTYN
Where will we stay?

 

 

BARRINGTON
Hotel reservations are already

booked. Bed, breakfast and dinner.

During the day, you take care of

yourself.

 

 

LAWRENCE
What do you get out of this?

 

 

BARRINGTON

A proven band and crap loads

of free publicity.

 

 

EMILY

What kinds of places will we

be playing?

 

 

BARRINGTON

Mostly rock clubs. Decent places

to go. No-one gets stiffed with the

town's crap place.

 

 

STEVEN

What about promotion? How

can we go about that?

 

 

BARRINGTON
You'll get fliers and posters at

each stop, but radio appearances,

public gigs, that sort of thing

is positively encouraged. Is that

everything?

 

Nods and murmurs of assent. Everyone seems satisfied.

BARRINGTON

Good. We'll meet back here at

10am tomorrow to give you

your trucks and your first

lot of cash. Accommodation

for the night is arranged at

the B&B over the road. Try

not to be late. Bands on the

run, dismissed!

 

The bands get up and shuffle out of the room, chatting to one another and shaking hands with Barrington and the other two suits on their way out. When they have all left, the three suits sit down again and relax.

BARRINGTON
Well? Are we onto a

good thing here?

 

 

BLAKE

They all look great. I

think we're onto a winner

whoever gets it.

 

 

KENNY

I think it'll be either Southern

Voodoo or Wavelength.

 

 

BARRINGTON

Why?

 

 

KENNY
Voodoo are the most professional,

but Wavelength are unusual

enough to be very appealing.

I think we'll see a good match.

 

 

BLAKE
What about the other two?

 

 

KENNY

Haiku are four chicks. 'Nuff said.

Name me an all-girl band that

ever got anywhere.

 

 

BARRINGTON

The Bangles. The Spice Girls.

Toto Coleo. Bananarama.

 

 

KENNY
A rock band.

 

 

BLAKE
Kitte? Drain? The Donnas? L7?

Pat Benatar? Bonnie Tyler?

 

 

KENNY

'Nuff said.

 

 

BARRINGTON

Kenny, you talk a lot of crap.

Why not Underdog?

 

 

KENNY

A van full of pissheads. Only

the Stones and Aerosmith ever

got big acting like that.

 

 

BARRINGTON

We'll have to find out, then,

won't we?

 

Dissolve to a nightclub, and a big party. The four winning bands have been joined by Hail To The King and Spitbox, and they are all tearing the place up. Rock music blasts out of the places speakers as band members dance, drink and try to get their hands on any ladies (or guys, in Jesse's case). Martyn is trying to speak to Alicia but they can't hear each other over the noise. He gives up, and motions for the two of them to head outside. Steven and Jim watch them go, then Jim laughs as Steven shakes his head and hands over some money - clearly the bets are already on.

Outside, Martyn and Alicia sit on beer crates outside the club's rear entrance. It is halfway down an alley, and we can see the street at the far end of it. Alicia smokes, both are drinking bottled beers.

MARTYN

So what do we think?

 

 

ALICIA

About the club? Noisy.

 

 

MARTYN
This tour. The whole thing

seems a little..

 

 

ALICIA

Yeah, I know. Too good to

be true?

 

 

MARTYN
I keep thinking at any minute

I'm going to hear an alarm go

off, and when I wake up I'll

be back at my flat and none of

this will have happened.

 

 

ALICIA

(making a noise like an alarm clock)

Baaa! Baaa! Baaa!

 

 

MARTYN

(grins)

Knock it off!

 

 

ALICIA

(smiles)

Sorry. You're a nice guy,

Martyn.

 

 

MARTYN
Yeah, I hear that a lot. Usually

right before: "And I still want

us to be friends, but.."

 

 

ALICIA

You're too hard on yourself.

 

 

MARTYN
Sometimes you have to be your

own critic. Keeps your feet on the

ground.

 

 

ALICIA

I think we have just reason

to celebrate tonight.

 

 

MARTYN
Yeah, I guess so. I'm just

trying not to get carried away

by all this.

 

 

ALICIA

Not yet, anyway..

 

They smile at each other. The air of flirting gets a lot more intense all of a sudden. There's an obvious, mutual attraction between these two. Alicia stubs out her cigarette and eyes Martyn up, looking like she wants to kiss him, when - BEEP BEEP BEEP! Her beeper goes off, killing the moment. They both laugh at the irony of it all. Martyn stands, helps Alicia to her feet.

ALICIA

You know, you're the first guy

who hasn't either said he "finds

the whole vampire thing really

sexy," or "always goes for the

freaky ones."

 

 

MARTYN
I'm honoured.. I think.

 

 

ALICIA

I have a feeling this tour may

turn out pretty good after all.

(checks her bleeper)

It's my mom. I gotta call home.

I'll see you in the morning. Say

bye to the others for me!

 

She swigs the last of her beer, throws her bottle O.S. with a smash, then jogs down the alley back out onto the street. Martyn goes to head back inside, but stops in the doorway to watch her go. As she gets to the end of the alley, she turns, sees him, smiles, and blows him a kiss. Martyn catches it and goes inside.

Inside the club, the music has slowed down a little. Most of the musicians are now very thoroughly wasted, slowdancing with whoever is in reach or propping up the bar. Martyn rejoins his band members, sat at a table against one wall except for Sarah and Steven, the group's couple, who dance over on the dancefloor. Martyn sits back down and is passed a beer by Jim.

JIM

There you go, my friend.

 

 

MARTYN

Thanks.

 

 

JOHN

How was the alleyway?

 

 

MARTYN

Guys, I think I'm in love.

 

 

JOHN

You'll have to do pretty good

to beat Bonnie & Clyde over

there.

(points to Sarah and Steven)

Our resident lovebirds have

been on the happy pills all

night so far.

 

 

MARTYN

I think I might join them.

 

 

NEIL

Threesome! Alright!

 

Neil is slapped good naturedly by the others. Slow fade to:

Morning. Wavelength are tucked up in their beds at the B&B, dozing quietly. Martyn and Jim are already up, sitting out on the room's balcony watching the sunrise, sipping from huge coffee mugs. We cut to see them from outside the balcony, then pan across the other rooms. All the bands are on the same floor. Underdog are next door, then Voodoo, then Haiku. Underdog are all asleep, still blasted from last night's partying. Voodoo are all up, getting ready for the meeting back at the record company. In Haiku's room, Alicia and Kate sit out on the balcony, sipping coffee like Martyn and Jim. We cut between the two balconies as the conversation flows.

MARTYN

I'm telling you, Jim, that girl

is beautiful.

 

 

JIM

I know, I saw her too! She

is pretty fit.

 

 

ALICIA

He's pretty cute, isn't he?

 

 

KATE

Very. Nice eyes.

 

 

MARTYN

This gorgeous hair that looks

all shiny and lovely..

 

 

JIM

(sniggers)

You've got it bad. Been a

while since we last, er..

(mimes having a wank)

..has it, sir?

 

 

ALICIA

I had an interesting dream last

night.

 

 

KATE

Who was in it?

 

 

ALICIA

He was. And me.

(off Kate's raised eyebrow)

There was nudity.

 

The girls laugh and carry on drinking their coffee, before Emily calls them and they go back inside. Back to Jim and Martyn.

MARTYN

Seems weird that I'll be

trying to beat her.

 

 

JIM

Dude, you hardly know her!

 

 

MARTYN

I mean in the contest.

 

 

JIM

Yeah, I know. It's like we've

just made friends with these

people and now we have to

go out and try to outperform

them all!

 

 

MARTYN

Won't be hard to beat Southern

Voodoo.

 

 

JIM

Guess not.

 

They go back inside. Lawrence, in the room next door, pokes his head round the balcony as they go.

LAWRENCE

We'll see.

 

The parking lot of the Waning Bros. building. The bands are assembled in various states of alertness, with Underdog looking the worse for wear, clad in sunglasses and displaying messy bedhead hairdos. Haiku are neatly turned out, as are Southern Voodoo. Wavelength look relaxed, joking with members of Underdog as they wait for the record company staff to arrive. They are standing next to four minivans and their trailers, each displaying the logo of the band they serve - black for Haiku, blue for Wavelength, red for Voodoo and grey for Underdog. Madeline, Blackshaw, Pete and Barrington walk over to the groups.

BARRINGTON

Morning rock stars! Good

to see you all dragged your

inebriated carcasses out of

bed this morning. My tour

manager Madeline will fill

you in.

 

 

MADELINE

Each band member will get $20 for

today, with another $20 each day

after that, given out by WB staff

who will follow the tour. Each

band will also receive a phone

and gas card. The directions are

simple: drive to the city in

question, promote, play, sell,

move on. The first city will be

San Francisco.

 

Murmurs of assent from the assembled rockers - a good city to start in.

MADELINE