HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD


AUGUST 27 Remembering Our Sons & Daughters




I WANT TO GO HOME


.....by Robin Ross In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


I miss Luke so much, he is my only son.
I want to see him and hold him, I want to have fun.
I love Christine and Emily, more than I can say.
But life, isn't life, since Luke went away.

The pain that I feel no soul should bear.
God can you hear me, I know you must care.
I want to go home, so Luke I could hold.
This world now is always so cold.

I ask God to help, how to survive.
Please, God oh please, make Luke alive.
I want to go home, I scream and I scream.
But, there is only silence, and here I remain.

I want to go home as I lay down at night.
But, then I wake up to see mornings light.
I cannot go before it's my time.
I have to stay here, trapped in my mind.

So until I am called, it's here I must wait,
Looking forward to my walk through the heavenly gate.
This writing is dark as the middle of night,
But not near as dark as what is my life.

So when I am told to have a nice day.
I want to go home I silently pray.
My nice day will happen, I know it will come.
When I see Luke and it's my time to go home.

2001 - Robin Ross






A GOOD DAY


.....by Robin Ross In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


It's been nine months, three fourths of a year,
Since my loving son, Luke, was called home from here.
I've tried to endure it the best that I can.
But having Luke leave, I can't understand.

There'll be good days and bad days throughout my life.
Will I know a good day if it comes into sight?
A good day is when the thousand tears on my face
Fall in silence not rage at the emptiness of this place.

A good day is when the deep pain in my heart
Only hurts just short of tearing apart.
A good day is when all my physical strength
Allows me to make it through the day's length.

A good day is when my mind keeps on trying,
Only every other second do I remember Luke dying.
A good day is when this void in my soul
Stays just small enough to act out this role.

A good day is when no pills are needed to sleep
And I quietly drift off with the tears that I weep.
A good day is when I remember Luke's smile
Before I'm dragged back to walk that last mile.

A good day is when I know the pain that I bear
Will last only until I can join Luke there.
There'll be good days and bad days, or so I am told.
Do I long for the good days? To those must I hold?

But what of the days in the space in between?
Are these dark days the essence of my being?
So will I have a good day? Will one ever appear?
I might have had one some time last year.

2002 - Robin Ross





THE TOUGH GUY


.....by Robin Ross In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


You're a big man & look like a tough guy,
But there's something I don't understand.
I look at you & see you cry,
What's happened to this tough man?

"The tears that you see, I hope you never know."
What causes them to fall?
"This tough guy who will bow to no man,
Something else has made him so small."

"A force that no person should ever face,
Is what brings this tough guy down.
It was having to see my only son LUKE,
His body so cold, His life gone."

Does this happen often, I mean when you cry?
"Oh yes at least every day,
When I realize that LUKE has gone on ahead,
& Here is where I must stay."

Will you ever go back & be that tough guy?
"Of course, I'm tough every second.
To just survive one moment with this pain,
Takes toughness this world cannot measure."

Will it ever end, the pain I mean?
Or will you always be so sad?
"Yes it will end, the day that I hear,
My LUKE say, welcome home Dad."

2003 - Robin Ross






FLYING WITHOUT LUKE


.....by Robin Ross In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


I stood in line and waited my turn.
Then boarded and took my place.
"Store your items and get settled in."
"Buckle up so you can be safe."

Will some one sit in the set next to me?
Or maybe I'll sit all alone.
The only one that I wished would sit down
Is LUKE, my only son who's gone.

Where is LUKE, where did he go?
He went on up ahead.
He is also still here and up in the sky,
But they tell me he is dead.

The captain comes on and gives us the rules
And Says that we're ready to go.
"If there's anything I can do to make your flight better
Don't hesitate to let me know."

Yes captain there is one thing
That I'd like for you to do....
Fly me to heaven all the way to the stars
So I can see my only son LUKE.

2003 - Robin Ross





THE MUSIC


.....by Robin Ross In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


He felt confused on this crazy earth
With all the things he saw.
He was hoping for an answer to come and find him.
Not knowing what to say or do
And looking for answers from me & you.
Then He heard music in the distance, far behind him.

Luke said I've heard that tune before somewhere
But I can't remember when.
Was it on some other distant shore
Or did I hear it on the wind?
Was it written on the sky above?
I think I heard it from someone I loved
But I never heard it sound so sweet, since then.

He said there's magic in that melody
There's magic in that place.
There's magic in the angel's voice
And the way they dance with grace.
Spirits smilin' everywhere.
Joy & laughter beyond compare.
LUKE knew that it was time to leave this place.

Now LUKE's gone, the cabin's bare.
His old piano's gone somewhere.
LUKE's hat's left, just hanging on the rack.
An empty chair, the wooden floor
That feels the touch of LUKE's feet no more.
Us wishing that our LUKE could come back.

And the guitar leans against LUKE's case
Where all his things have found their place.
The strings are broke and the tune is gone.
The piano's left and makes no song.
But sometimes on October nights
When the air is cold and the wind is right
I can hear LUKE's music, a hello through the night.

2005 - Robin Ross






A FATHER'S DEATH


.....by Robin Ross In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


My life was over
The night that Luke died.
They told me he was dead.
They said I was alive.

They have no idea
Of the lie that they told.
The only difference is
my body is warm and Luke's is so cold.

My dreams and plans
That we have in this place
Flew to heaven that night
With Luke's beautiful face.

Luke's children, my grandchildren,
That never will be
That dream died that night
That was meant to be.

The nieces and nephews
Emily won't know
That dream too left
When Luke had to go.

Holding Luke, Jr.
So close to her chest.
Christine can't realize
That dream was the best.

To watch Luke grow more,
To give all his love,
Can only be felt
From somewhere above.

To be alive
Is to hold things so dear.
It's impossible to do
While I wait way down here.

To meet Luke's wife.
To see his smile do I yearn.
But all I can do
Is kiss his cold urn.

To go to the mountains.
To camp with Luke's son.
That dream too dissolved,
Maybe my favorite one.

To hear once again
As I say "Luke take out the trash",
His beautiful voice
"Sure Dad, I'll get right on that".

To hear just once more
Luke say "Thanks Dad",
I would leave this earth in an instant.
Yet, you say, I'm not dead.

So what are my plans?
Just what do I do?
I only can wait
For Jesus to come for me too.

So I am alive?
I must get on with life?
You see that can't happen
Since that cold April night.

So remember April 3rd,
Two thousand and one,
The night my life ended
There with my son.

2004 Robin Ross






FOUR LIVES WERE LOST


.....by Robin Ross In memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001


Yes, LUKE died, oh didn't you hear.
Yes, LUKE died, it's been several years.
Am I OK? Not since that day.
Life ever since is nothing but tears.

How is LUKE'S mom?
Has her pain gone away?
How is LUKE'S sister?
Is she better today?

No, neither cope without LUKE to hold.
I can't explain. There's no end to the pain.
We're all just left here
Waiting to grow old

You see, the day that LUKE died
You can't imagine the cost.
Because on that day
Four lives were lost.

Yes, all four lives ended that day.
One got to go and three had to stay.
It was on April 3rd, 2001.
The only peace that day went to my SON.

2007 - Robin Ross





A FATHER'S LONELINESS

I miss you Luke,
Just before dawn arrives
When I awake to another day
And your memory is gently on my mind.

I miss you Luke,
In the early morning sun
When I catch a scent of pine trees
And breath in all the feelings that scent evokes.

I miss you Luke,
In the middle of the day
When I see a dad and his son sharing lunch
And I smile remembering all of our times together.

I miss you Luke,
In the afternoon
When I hear an echo of deep laughter
And I laugh out loud just imagining it is you.

I miss you Luke,
At the beginning of a sunset
When I feel the warmth that it provides
And I can almost feel your hug in that warmth.

I miss you Luke,
At the close of the day
When the stars appear in the night sky
And I wonder how long it will be until I see you again.

I miss you Luke,
In the middle of the night
When I awake from a dream of you
And I long to go back to sleep to dream of you once more.

I miss you Luke,
Just before the dawn
When I awake to another day
And your memory is gently on my mind.

2010 - Christine Ross
~ in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001



"VISIT WITH LUKE"

Last Entry in Luke's Journal:

"When there is love in my heart and a smile on my face,
I need nothing else." ~ Luke Ross

"MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU"

Music playing:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY