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My Boyfriend's Wedding

...or Stella

In the caves of the UnderRealm, Layla, Sky, Bloom, and Stella are walking through, to get to Downland so they can save Brandon from his forced marriage to Queen Amentia.

Sky: Stella, we can't just storm into Amentia's castle. We need a plan.
Stella: You want a plan? I'll tell you what the plan is. I'm going in there, smackin' her around, and taking my man back! Nobody is going to steal my boyfriend!

Again, Stella's showing us why we all love her. Showing her loyal-to-no-end, though-rash side, similar in a way to when she went to earth when the girls weren't allowed to leave the school to get Bloom back to Alfea. Chatta, Digit, Bloom, and Sky--especially Sky--continue to try to talk Stella out of storming ahead, and all try to talk Stella out of marching forth, to give them time to come up with a battle plan. And all the while, Stella just grumbles and growls as she marches forth. Chatta flies right up to Stella to try knocking some sense into her, as Stella screams right back at her. And to think some people thought Chatta and Stella belonged together instead of Amore and Stella, just because of how Chatta looked. Let's face it: their personalities would so very clash. Stella is too headstrong, and Chatta's advice would just plain get on Stella's nerves to no end. Brandon eventually angers to a point where she marches right up to his face, scaring him, as she just swipes his flashlight out of his hands. Amore thinks Stella's doing right, though, even if no one else does.

At Queen Amentia's palace, Brandon is brought into Amentia's room, as she's going on about how flawless and perfect he is. She and the guards talk about performing ridiculous treatments on Brandon to make him completely perfect, though when one of the guards mentions how one of Brandon's arms is one millimeter longer, Amentia goes psycho on the guards, screaming her head off, and marking one of them with a lipstick X. After the guards leave, though, and Brandon's stuck in the room alone with Amentia, Brandon hopes that by being imperfect, that Amentia will drop him, but she still wants him. She's just decided to use a stretcher to make his shroter arm the same length as his longer one. You know, however great it is to see Stella's reactions to Amentia's, Amentia herself is just too unlikable to like. Just a full-fledged wench, plain and simple. And the only reason I say "wench" is because there are probably young kids who read this site.

Back in the caves, the quartet with the tiny septet are still marching forth to save Brandon, with Stella still leading the way.

Bloom: I'm not getting married until I'm thirty.
Stella: That's old!

Isn't Bloom a little young to insist on not getting married until she's thirty? I mean, it just seems so arbitrary, especially since, in all likelihood, Bloom's going to wind up marrying Prince Sky anyway. Layla talks about how she's never going to get married, and Stella talks about what her wedding is going to be like, in its entirety. She's got this all planned out, every little detail, methinks.

The group makes it to Downland, as they all try to sneak past a guard. More sneaking, more one guard on the lookout, until they all sneak into a building. At some point, Stella collapses, and Bloom has to drag her. Seems to go on for longer than it needs to.


A guard stands right outside the door, worrying the group, but the guard walks away. Seconds later, though, someone else comes back, and opens the door, though it winds up being just a cat. I'm curious how the cat opened the door, personally. I mean, yes, I know some cats can figure out how to open doors, but the cat wasn't even near the door when it opened... it was several feet away, yet it somehow managed to open the door. I guess the cat wasn't physically touching the door to build the mystery of who it was, but um... still, how did the cat open the door? I guess we can just say it was a magic cat. That's always a convenient way to explain such phenomena, least in this show! The pixies all peek out of small containers they were hiding in when they realize it's just a cat.

As the group exits the house, there's more sneaking around, with the pixies still hiding in their containers. As a random woman shouts "thieves!" though, the pixies all rush away, taking off their containers, except for Glim, who keeps inside her bean can, though Sky eventually helps her out. But a guard sneaks up behind Sky right then and knocks him out with a club, so Bloom casts a spell so he clubs himself with his own club. Ultimately, other guards come, as the group runs away, but they're blocked by a large, ugly guardworm. What happens next is a mystery. The next we see the group, they're already captured by the guards. Seems the guardworm itself was all for nothing, and served absolutely no purpose in anything. Completely pointless, and completely uninteresting.

Back at the palace, a parrot-like bird talks to Brandon about being a husband, and about how miserable his life will be, and how the bird can't escape either. After a bit, Amentia's mother--much fatter than Amentia, but not really any uglier--comes in the room to walk Brandon down the aisle for his wedding, telling him how he'll get to be Amentia's eternal slave, as if he's supposed to be happy. She also tells Brandon that they'll need to control his weight, since it must always be an even number, as Amentia hates odd numbers. She then says, obliviously cheerfully, how they'll eat Brandon for dinner if he doesn't make Amentia happy. Except she isn't joking. Seriously. Whack. Her parents seriously should've sought for some psychiatric help for the girl when she was younger, since it's so obvious she needs some. Then again, her mother isn't really all there either: Brandon should be happy why?!


In an alley in Downland, Sponsus is getting completely wasted, like any stereotypical bum getting drunk in a dirty alley. Amore runs into him, asking why he's crying, and he explains his soulmate, Queen Amentia, is getting married, and not to him. Amore gives Sponsus a special soulmate blossom, which will have the sniffer seek out his or her soulmate. As Sponsus gets up, though, it's obvious that he is completely wasted. Why does America think that kids can't handle the words "drunk" and "liquor," or anything like that? The guy is obviously drunk: why pretend he isn't? How are they "protecting the innocent children" by pretending it doesn't exist? I don't get it. Hut peeks inside a little shop, as two of the octuplet girls who serve Amentia prepare a perfect bouquet for Amentia. It's not shown, but we can assume that Sponsus sneaks the blossom in with the bouquet shortly after the scene changes.

Back outside Amentia's palace, it's wedding time! Amentia's father walks her down the aisle, and after that, her mother walks--or actually, drags Brandon down the aisle. The announcer for the wedding says Brandon is the luckiest man alive. For his sake, I hope he was just reading from a script Amentia gave to him, but I have this unsettling feeling he honestly felt that way anyway. At the altar, Amentia gives Brandon an air kiss, which causes him to faint. The scene changes, back to... the wedding. Extremely awkward scene transition. It looked like the scene would be changing back to Stella and the gang, but instead, it changed back onto itself, only forward in time. That's what fade transitions are for: time warps like this. Urgh, nevermind my ranting, just so unnerving, though. Anyway, Brandon is back unfainted. Brandon recites the vows that Amentia wrote for him to say. The justice of the peace continues rubbing in how awful a life Brandon will have with Amentia. At the standard "if anyone objects" part of the wedding, Brandon himself objects, but then is promptly told by the justice of the peace that he isn't allowed to object, that the groom is to be seen and not heard. But Brandon sees the gang, all tied up on a little bridge, as he calls out to Stella in his impersonation of Marlon Brando. Meaning I'm psychic! Yay for me! The guard has a sword to Stella's throat, all ready to slice if necessary. Why does America think this is more appropriate for children to watch than saying the word "alcohol," anyway? My, what a backward country we live in! Not that either is bad, mind you, but I don't get why the mere mention of alcohol could possibly affect a child more than a knife to the throat. Stella cries, worried for Brandon. And right before the commercial break, one of the lookalike non-ugly servant girls hands Amentia the bouquet.


As Amentia gives the "I do"s, she smells the bouquet, and immediately realizes she shouldn't be marrying Brandon. She's wenchy about it too. I mean, is it Brandon's fault that Amentia was a control freak obsessive dolt? Course, Amentia's not exactly the type to take responsibility for her actions, anyway. Sponsus, very drunk, starts dancing on the seats at the wedding, proclaiming himself as Amentia, as she starts running toward him, knocking over her servants like bowling pins. Literally like bowling pins. Very cartoony, somewhat out of place. Amentia starts kissing Sponsus all over, Amore comes over to Brandon, and all-too-quickly, the scene changes to the Specialists' ship, flying home.

On the way home, Riven notes bottles of something. Brandon says it's "courage brew"--oh, screw it, it's liquor. The liquor is an apology gift from Sponsus, apologizing for taking his bride. Riven says Sponsus is going to need a lot of it to survive his marriage to the horrible Amentia, but back down in Downland, Sponsus seems to enjoy being married to Amentia, and seems to enjoy being a slave to Amentia's every petty demand. Because Sponsus is psychotic too. We already knew that. And their two oppositely psychotic personalities seem to click well together. Go figure.

Other Stuff

Eh... nothing too interesting here. Queen Amentia seemed more annoying then she did in episode 4. The "sneaking through the city" was too dragged out, and the resolution at the end came way too abruptly, as if someone just realized they had to wrap things up quickly, with all the time wasted earlier in the episode. And the guardworm? What was the deal with that?!

All the people of Downland are all complete idiots! You get the feeling that Bob Newhart could've had a successful show in a city like this. Being ruled under a superficial psychotic tyrant is one thing, but good golly, these people seem to enjoy it?!

So, was there anything redeeming about the episode? Yes: Stella. She stole the show, really! The story itself wasn't all that great, but she just absolutely shined! This is the Stella we all know and love, back in full form today!

6 out of 10 on the old scale.