Who needs Corn Pops? I gotta have my coffee!
Bonjour an' welcome to de tour! My name is Emil an' I'll be your guide for today. Please keep your hands an' feet inside de boat at all times an' don' tease de gators. Dey like to bite y'know.
Now dere ain' much to de tour jus' yet, but wit' time you'll notice some changes. You'll be able to get to know me better (like you want to, right?) an' you'll meet my fam'ly an' friends too (an' my enemies...can' leave dem out...dey might hurt me...an' b'lieve me, dey can). Plus you'll find some surprises 'round almost ev'ry corner. I pray de tour won' bore you to tears, but if it does, I've put a box of kleenex by ev'ry seat, jus' in case.
I now invite you to sit back, relax an' enjoy de tour. Please sign de Visitor's Book at de bottom of dis page on your way out. An' 'member what I said b'fore 'bout dem gators!
JOURNAL...get inside de mind of your
tourguide. Oui, dat would be me...duh... 
EMIL...everyt'ing you didn' wan' know 'bout de tourguide.
JACKIE...meet de woman who stole de tourguide's heart.
PEOPLE...dis is self-explanitory,
except for my comments...someone pray dat Gris-Gris don' see dis...
JEAN-LUC...a memorial page for de former patriarch of de New Orleans T'ieves Guild. Comin' soon!
QUEST FOR THE MOMENTARY PRINCESS...the official website of the Unified Guilds
LOUISIANA...some stuff 'bout de state I was born an' raised in...mostly links...after all I'm not tryin' to build Rome
here.
FUNNIES...need a place to put dose email forwards you laugh your butt off at but don' know what to do wit'?
INSPIRATION...sayin's, quotes an' stuff like dat to make you smile an' make you t'ink.
LINKS...de tourguide's favorite places to visit on de WWW when he's not workin'.
CONTACT...if you wan' get in touch wit' de tourguide after de tour is
over, dis is how.
"Well Eeyore, time to get hit by the road." ~Tigger
