Part 2
Chris closed his eyes against the sharp overhead light and lifted his left hand to rub against his temples. A soft hand stopped him and he opened his eyes and looked at the nurse as she smiled at him.
“You have several stitches in your head and I didn’t want you to rub the wound.”
“S…sorry,” Larabee said as Maggie and Jordan continued readying him for the trip up to his room. The equipment and leads were unhooked and placed on the bed with him while the IV fluids were hung from an overhead pole.
“Chris, Joseph is going to take you up to your room now,” Jordan explained as a male orderly entered the room. “Don’t worry he has frequent flyer miles.”
“O…okay.”
“Just relax, Mr. Larabee, and we’ll have you comfortable in no time,” Joseph Fielding explained as he checked the chart and the band on Larabee’s wrist before maneuvering the stretcher away from the wall and out the door.
“O…only way t…to do that is t…to take me home.”
“Sorry, can’t do that, doctor’s orders and well, Dr. Midland can be quite adamant when it comes to her patients.”
“Hmm,” Larabee mumbled tiredly. He closed his eyes as the bright overhead lights sent daggers of pain through his concussed skull.
“Hey, Cowboy.”
“Vin?”
“None other,” Tanner said as Larabee blinked and finally focused on him. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks, I needed to hear t…that. E…everyone s…still here?”
“Where else would we be?” Tanner asked as he held the elevator doors open and helped guide the stretcher inside.
“Home…celebrating Christmas with family.”
“You are family, Chris and we’re celebrating the fact that you’re still here with us. It was a close one, Cowboy.”
“Thanks, Vin, yeah I know how close it was. Seeing Sarah was enough proof of that,” Larabee explained as the doors closed.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll tell you later,” the blond said, closing his eyes in an effort to corral the mounting nausea caused by the lights and the movement of the stretcher.
“No problem, Cowboy, lots of time.” Tanner watched his friend closely and wished he could rid the man of the pain he saw in the tightly clenched fists. He knew how much Larabee had been through in the months since the death of his wife and son and had been there through everything from tears to drunken rages. Between himself and Buck they’d seen new lines appear where none should be and understood how hard things were for Chris Larabee. He was finally coming back and had even agreed to celebrating Christmas with them, then this happened and Vin was worried that it could signal the collapse of everything Larabee worked so hard to find again.
“Vin?” Larabee called as they exited the elevator onto the third floor.
“I’m right here, Chris.”
“I’m okay…not going to fall apart on you guys. Not yet anyway,” the blond assured him.
“Melody, I have Chris Larabee here.”
“Room 312, Joseph. I’ll be right with you.”
“Okay,” the orderly said and pushed the bed towards the private room at the end of the hall. Once there they were joined by Larabee’s nurse.
“Could you wait out here and I’ll let you know when you can come in?” Melody asked and smiled as Tanner moved to stand by the window. “All right, Joseph, let’s see if we can make Mr. Larabee more comfortable. Push it a little closer!”
The orderly maneuvered the stretcher until it was snug against the bed and locked the brakes before looking at the patient. “All right, Mr. Larabee, do you think you can scoot over or do you need some help?”
“I can do i…it!” the blond insisted, wincing as he shifted up in the gurney and slid onto the bed. It seemed to take forever, and every blow he’d received seemed to be screaming in a symphony of pain that could bring down the rafters. He kept his eyes closed and his mouth tightlipped until he laid back against the pillows and felt the blankets being pulled over his body. He shook, with both pain and cold as the nurse began reattaching the monitors and running the IV through the machine beside his bed. Finally able to breathe without the knifing pain he’d grown used to, Chris opened his eyes and saw the sympathy in the woman’s face.
“My name is Melody and I’ll be one of the nurses looking after you today. Now, I’m just going to take your vitals and let your friend come back in for a few minutes, Mr. Larabee.”
“C…Chris.” He said and saw the smile form on her face.
“Chris it is. Now, Dr. Midland ordered a mild pain reliever and I can give it to you now or after your friend leaves.”
“Later,” Larabee insisted as she noted his temperature, blood pressure, and adjusted the flow of oxygen.
“All right, just hit your call button should you need anything.”
“I will, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Chris closed his eyes as he listened to the retreating footsteps. There was no sound for several long minutes, yet he knew he was not alone. Without opening his eyes he forced a smile to his face. “I’m okay, Cowboy.”
“So you say. This is me, Chris and I know you’re not okay. Want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“What happened out there. I don’t mean about the mugging, but about what you said about seeing Sarah.”
“Oh…I saw her, Vin. My own special Snow Angel and if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be here right now. She was there just as sure as you’re here right now and she came to help me. She insisted I call Buck’s place…wouldn’t let me sleep…”
“Damn good thing she wouldn’t. You’d ‘ve froze to death out there!”
“Tell me about it. I didn’t even feel cold anymore. Just tired and sleep was a warm place. Sarah kept telling me to call someone…Irish temper of hers was always one of her strong points.”
“I bet,” Tanner said as a knock sounded at the door and the rest of the team plus Orrin Travis entered the room.
“Can we come in?” Dunne asked.
“Think you’re already in, Kid,” Larabee said, smiling at the group he’d come to care so much about.
“How are you feeling, Chris?” Sanchez asked watching the sea green orbs closely.
“I’m okay, Josiah. A little sore…”
“A little?” Jackson stated unbelievingly.
“You know our illustrious leader, Mr. Jackson. He’s known for understating the obvious,” Standish told them.
“Well, I’m always hopeful of hearing the truth from all of you. So, Chris how do you really feel?” Jackson returned and watched Larabee’s face closely. The right eye was nearly covered in a dark blue/black bruise, the swelling nearly encompassed the eye itself until just a meager slit was visible.
“Hopefully not as bad as I look, Nathan.”
“Well, ol’ son, if you feel half as bad as you look then you must feel like shit.”
“Nice, Buck, but accurate,” Dunne said as he watched his mentor.
“JD, stay away from Ezra,” Wilmington blustered and swatted the younger man’s shoulder.
“What did I do?” the Bostonian asked.
“I believe Mr. Wilmington is concerned that my impeccable manners and studious upbringing might be rubbing off on you, Mr. Dunne.”
“Ez?”
“Yes, Mr. Larabee?”
“My head’s about to explode…mind shrinking the size of your five dollar words?”
“I do apologize and shall hereto acquiesce by your wishes…”
“Ezra, shut up,” Wilmington ordered, smiling at the chagrined look on the gambler’s face.
“Oh, sorry.”
“All right, gentlemen, I believe we’ve overstayed our allotted time. Chris, rest and do as they tell you,” Travis ordered as he patted the younger man’s shoulder.
“I will…”
“That’ll be the day,” Jackson griped.
“Nathan, I might just surprise you,” Larabee said as five of the seven men said their goodbyes and left him alone with Buck and Vin. “You boys must have somewhere better to be than staying here.”
“Not me. How about you, Vin?”
“No, Buck, ain’t got nothin’ special planned.”
“Boys, I know you’re supposed to go to Nettie’s place for Christmas dinner. It’s not too l…late,” Larabee said, biting his lip as pain shot through his skull.
“Chris, want me to get the nurse for you?” Wilmington asked concern written openly across his face.
“Y…yeah…then I want you both to go to Nettie’s…no reason you boys should miss out on her specialties.”
“You know, Vin,” Wilmington stated as he pushed the call button. “ If I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s trying to get rid of us.”
“Not trying to, Buck. Going to. Go to Nettie’s and eat. Hell if it was me I’d have been already there with a fork in one hand and a plate in the other.”
“Can I get you something, Chris?”
Larabee turned to see his nurse enter the room and smiled as she adjusted the flow on his IV and added a bag of antibiotics. “Yeah…could use that pain reliever right about now.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.”
“Thanks, Melody,” the blond said and turned to the two men. “Go…eat…have a couple of drinks…and relax. I’ll still be here tomorrow.”
“And the next day,” Wilmington finished, smiling at the look on his friend’s face.
“Guess so. Get the curtains on your way out. Damn sun is hurting my eyes,” Larabee said and watched as his friends reluctantly got ready to leave.
“Chris, are you sure?”
“Buck, it’s been a long time since I needed someone to watch over me while I’m sleeping. Believe me I’ll be fine. Vin, get him out of here.”
“You heard him, Buck, let’s go.”
“All right…Chris?”
“Yeah, Buck?”
“You want your ring or should I hang on to it until you’re out of here.”
“Hang on to it, Bucklin, there’s no one I’d rather have hold it for me. Okay?”
“All right, Pard, just…well you know?”
“Yeah, I do, and thanks,” Larabee made sure both men understood his words and watched as they left the room. He closed his eyes and relaxed his posture, letting the pain show on his face as he tried to get comfortable. He heard approaching footsteps and instinctively tried to hide his discomfort, but the nurse’s voice stopped him.
“You don’t need to hide it from me, Chris,” Melody explained as she injected the prescribed medications into her patient’s IV. “That should help.”
“Thanks, Melody,” the blond whispered softly.
“Are you warm enough, Chris? Would you like an extra blanket?”
“Yes, please,” Larabee told her as he snuggled into the warmth and waited for the chill to leave his body. Chris closed his eyes and turned slightly on his side so he could look out at the snow-covered rooftops. He mumbled a tired thank you when his nurse returned and covered him with another blanket. As the medication and pain won out his eyes slowly closed, but not before a newfound warmth washed over him.
“My Snow Angel,” he whispered before dropping off to sleep.
Nettie Wells stood in the doorway of her nephew-in-law’s hospital room and watched as the blond limped from the bathroom to his bed. She smiled inwardly, knowing it was this man’s stubborn pride that had seen him through so many hard times. She waited for him to sit on the edge of the bed and finally entered the room. The blond head came up as she moved inside and the handsome face smiled in spite of the bruise that now spread over his right cheek.
“Nice shiner,” she said as she sat beside him.
“Thanks, I think,” Larabee said, wrapping his arms around her and feeling the tension leave her body.
“You had me scared, Chris.”
“I’m sorry, Nettie.”
“You don’t have any reason to be sorry, Son,” she said as she leaned away from the younger man and forced a smile on her face. “Besides if you really didn’t want to come over for dinner today all you needed to do was say so. There was no need of beating yourself up over my reaction,” the older woman teased as she reached for his bandaged hand. “My, Lord, what is this world coming to.”
“It’s okay, Nettie, they didn’t get it…my ring or my finger.”
“Don’t you make light of this, Chris Larabee. Sarah was my niece and if you think she’d want you to lose your finger over that ring you’ve got another thing coming!”
“Sorry, wasn’t thinking,” Larabee said, a chagrinned look on his face as he eyed the package in her hands. “Is that…”
“Cherry cake, but I don’t know if you deserve it.”
“Ah, hell, Nettie, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you bat those eyes at me. Chris!”
“You know how much I love your cherry cake. I mean it was a tradition…like having rum and eggnog in front of a roaring fireplace.”
“Ah, Chris, I believe that was only a tradition for you and Sarah. Maybe a few others, but not many.”
“Yeah, I loved the quiet time we had after A…Adam was in bed and the stockings were done. There was something about that time…it brought out the beauty in her eyes.”
“She loved being with you, Chris.”
“Me too, Nettie, now about that cake.”
“Are you sure you’re up to it? I mean how much dinner did you eat?”
“Ate some broth and had some juice.”
“How much is some?”
“Not much,” Larabee answered honestly. Truth was his stomach wasn’t cooperating and he knew it had to do with the concussion he was suffering from.
“Did you at least keep it down?”
“Mostly,” the blond answered as he watched the woman pull the table closer and open the cake. Green and red maraschino cherries were in abundance amidst the soft cake and he smiled as his stomach rumbled in anticipation.
“Well then you go easy on this and maybe it’ll stay where you put it,” Wells said as Larabee broke off a small piece and placed it in his mouth.
Chris chewed the sweet offering and knew he wouldn’t be able to eat much, but at least it was something and right now that was better than he’d done all day.
“I have your room ready…”
“Nettie I don’t need to…”
“For you when they release you. Now, Chris, you know there’s no point in arguing with me. I can be just as stubborn as my niece was and we both know how many arguments you won against her!”
“All right…you win. Thanks, Nettie.” He nodded to the cake as he swallowed another piece. “It’s good.”
“Thank you, I made it especially for you.”
“Makes it even better. What are you doing here? Thought everyone was at your place.”
“They are, but I figured you needed some company as well. Vin and Buck wanted to come, but I told them you needed your rest. How long before you can have something to help with the pain?”
“I was just going to call the nurse. I think Melody went home…”
“That’s okay, I’ll get the night shift nurse. It looks like your IV needs to be changed anyway. Why don’t you lie back and I’ll wrap what’s left of the cake and you can finish it later.”
“Thanks, Nettie,” Larabee told her as he settled back on the bed with an audible moan.
“You just call me if you need anything, Chris.”
“I will, Nettie. Tell the boys I said not to worry.”
“Think that’ll happen?”
“Not likely.”
“I’ll send your nurse right in. Sleep well, Chris, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Larabee answered and felt her place a kiss on his forehead before he heard her exit the room. It wasn’t long before he heard someone else enter the room and a male voice spoke from beside his bed.
“Mr. Larabee, my name is Michael and I’ll be looking after you tonight. Mrs. Wells said you needed something to help with the pain. What about nausea? Do you need something for that as well?”
“Yes. Head’s killing me and my stomach’s churning,” the blond answered.
“All right. Let me just get a set of vitals on you and then we’ll see about making you more comfortable. Okay?”
Larabee nodded and closed his eyes as the man wrapped the monitoring equipment around his arm and he felt it tighten.
“BP is up a little, but your temp is good. I’ll be back in a minute with your meds.”
“Okay.” Chris felt himself drifting and mumbled thanks when the nurse returned with his meds and put up the rails on the side of the bed.
“Just use the call button should you need anything. Good night, Mr. Larabee.”
“Goodnight, Michael,” the blond said and was grateful when the lights were turned off and the door closed most of the way. He drifted off to sleep, dreaming of snow angels and snuggling with his wife in front of a crackling fire.
“All right, Chris, just be careful and use the cane,” Jackson warned as he helped the injured man out of the car. He’d volunteered to pick the blond up from the hospital while the others waited at the Wells’ home for their arrival. The party had been planned on Christmas day when no one had felt like celebrating until the missing man was there to share in the joy of the season.
“I got it, Nate, just don’t see the point in it. It’s just a bruise.”
“A deep bruise, Chris, and you need the cane for support. Now are you coming or are you just going to stand there and argue the merits of using a cane?”
“Shit, Nathan…”
“No shit, Chris. Come on it’s damn cold out here and I’m betting it’s a lot warmer inside.”
“Always is at Nettie’s place,” Larabee said as Jackson reached for his small overnight bag.
“Yeah, she does tend to make things seem a lot easier.” Chris leaned heavily on the cane, grateful for the added support as his left leg trembled and threatened to give under the strain. He’d spent the last four days in the hospital and knew Jackson had the prescriptions filled and would make sure Nettie Wells knew when he was due for each and every pill. He reached the bottom of the steps leading up to the closed front porch and smiled at the woman standing there.
“Well, I must say you’re getting along better than you were the last time I saw you,” the woman said as she held the door for him.
“Feel better too. Amazing what getting out of solitary confinement can do for a person.”
“Chris, you were in a private room, not solitary confinement,” Jackson chastised as they entered the porch.
Chris smiled as the woman kissed him on the cheek before she took his right arm and led him through the main door and into the house. The sight that greeted him sent a lump into his throat and he felt a strong arm on his back as his balance wavered.
“Are you okay, Chris?” Jackson asked.
“I’m fine, Nate…who…how…why?” Larabee stammered as he looked around the room. The tall pine Christmas tree stood in the corner near the patio doors. The lights were on and the garland and tinsel twinkled as the soft strains of Silent Night met his ears. Under the tree was a mountain of unwrapped Christmas presents and a red felt stocking with a name written in glitter across a soft white top. A table laden with sliced turkey, mashed potatoes, carrots, and gravy was set in the center of the living room. On a side table, near the fireplace were many decadent desserts to tempt even the pickiest of palettes. Chris swallowed past the lump in his throat as his gaze took in the people present and he knew he’d never be alone as long as he had friends by his side.
“Welcome home, Pard,” Wilmington said as he patted a chair at the head of the table. “This seat has been reserved for the guest of honor.”
“Why?” Larabee asked, moving slowly towards the long table.
“We decided Christmas could wait until you were extracted from Saint Vincents,” Standish said, smiling as he sat to the left of the injured man.
“Chris, I thought you’d like to have this back now that you’re out of the hospital. Figured you could wear it around your neck until your hand heals.” Wilmington said as he pulled a gold chain from his pocket. Dangling from the end was the wedding band that signified Larabee’s love of his wife.
“Thanks, Buck,” the blond said, fighting the tears that swelled in his eyes.
“Anytime, pard, you know that!”
“Yes…yes I do,” Larabee answered simply and knew it was enough.
“Merry Christmas, Cowboy,” Tanner said as the others took their places around the table.
“Nettie,” the blond said as he looked into the older woman’s moisture laden eyes. Again he had difficulty swallowing, but he managed and smiled as he spoke. “Thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough.”
“It is, Chris, but it’s not needed. I love you, Son, and you’ll always have a place at my table no matter what day of the year it is. Now sit down before these old bones of mine decide they can’t make it to the other end of the table!”
Chris reached out for her hand and caught it before she could move. Looking into her eyes he again found the need to let this woman know how he felt. “You’ll never be old, Nettie Wells, because inside of you is a heart of gold. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you, Son. Looking at you right now tells me just how smart my niece was. She loved you, Chris, more than you’ll ever know.”
Larabee felt the moisture come into his eyes and reached for the napkin beside his plate. “I know…”
“All right, that’s enough of that. Nathan, I’m sorry Raine couldn’t make it.”
“Me too, but she’s still in Toronto with her folks.”
“I’m glad for her. Josiah, would you say grace?”
“I’d be honored, Nettie,” the ex-preacher said, bowing his head and folding his hands in front of him. “Dear lord, we thank you for the bountiful feast you’ve set before us and for giving us Nettie Wells to provide us with this succulent temptations. We also thank you for giving us the comfort of friends and the warmth of a fire to share with them. Amen.”
“Amen,” sounded around the table as each guest took his or her seat and smiled at the sense of peace surrounding them.
“JD, quit hogging the turkey and pass it this way,” Wilmington said as the sound of utensils hitting bowls and trays filled the air.
“Chris, would you like a glass of wine...”
“Yes…”
“NO! Not with those medications!” Jackson interrupted.
“Easy, Nate,” Chris laughed. “JD asked if I’d like one and I would, but I was going to say I can’t have one because of the meds.”
“Yeah, right, and I’m selling a prime piece of ocean front property in Arizona!” the medic in training told him and smiled as laughter sounded around the table.
“Hey, I got a joke…”
“Not while we’re eating, kid!”
“Come on Buck, It’s a good one.”
“It seems I’ve heard those precise words somewhere before, Mr. Dunne,” Standish said as JD poured Casey a glass of wine.
“I think we all have,” Sanchez agreed.
“Oh come on it’s funny. Really. Chris wants to hear it don’t you, Chris?”
“Sure kid…”
“Nathan, think we’d best get Chris back ta the hospital,” Vin said as he helped himself to the mashed potatoes.
“Ah, come on. My jokes are not that bad.”
“JD, your repertoire needs to be replenished.”
“I have replenished them.”
“Go ahead, JD. Never mind them,” Larabee said, smiling as the young man glanced his way.
“What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?” Several long seconds went by and JD looked around the table expectantly. “Well?”
“Well what, Son?” Nettie asked.
“Does anyone know the answer?”
“Apparently not, Mr. Dunne. Why don’t you deliver the punch line,” Standish suggested and looked at the two men sitting on either side of the youngest member of the team.
JD smiled and looked at the others expectantly. “Neither, candles always burn shorter!” Groans met his delivery as both Josiah and Nathan punched the younger man’s shoulder.
“Hey, what was that for?” Dunne asked, rubbing his shoulders.
“We were delivering our own punch lines,” Sanchez told him with a toothy smile.
“Hahahaha!”
“Hey, Kid, I thought they delivered their lines perfectly,” Wilmington said, watching the smile being born on Larabee’s face and feeling the tension leave his own body.
“Ignore them, JD. I thought it was funny,” Larabee assured the younger man.
“Yeah, and so would the rest of us if we were on pain meds, pard. Your opinion don’t count right now,” Wilmington told him.
“Careful, Buck, or I’ll take advantage of my own condition,” Larabee said and turned towards JD. “Got any more, Kid?”
“Sure,” JD smiled as he placed his fork beside his plate. “What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?”
“Might as well get it over with. What do they call people who are afraid of Santa clause, JD?” Wilmington asked.
“Clause-trophobic,” Dunne said and again his delivery was met with groans.
“Okay, Son, I think we’ve all had enough jokes,” Nettie said and smiled as the gathering dug into the meal set before them. The conversation was light and the food devoured by the guests seated around the table.
“Well, Vin, I believe it’s time for a little entertainment,” Sanchez said, standing and moving to the organ set opposite the Christmas Tree.
“Entertainment?” Larabee asked, worried as the Texan grinned at him.
“That’s right, Cowboy,” Tanner said. “Ezra, are you ready?”
“If I must,” the gambler said with a put upon expression on his face.
“Buck, JD, Nathan, ya know the words yer welcome ta join in. Chris, this chair’s fer ya,” Tanner said, pointing to the armchair placed beside the fire.
“Oh, hell, maybe we should just have JD tell more jokes,” Larabee smiled as he sat in the seat and Nettie Wells sat on the arm of the chair.
“Don’t knock it, Cowboy,” Tanner said as he picked up the guitar and tuned it.
“Nathan.”
“Yes, Chris?”
“Think maybe those pain meds might come in handy right about now.”
“Sorry, Chris, not for another hour.”
“Damn,” Larabee muttered. “Nettie, do you have any ear plugs.”
“Sorry, Chris, I think we both have to suffer through it,” the older woman said as Casey sat on the floor beside the chair.
“All right, Boys, let’s do it,” Tanner said as the six men began to sing slightly off key, but with a smile on their faces.
“Tall in the saddle we spend Christmas Day,
Drivin' the cattle on the snow-covered plains.
All of the good gifts given today;
Ours is the sky and the wide-open range.
Back in the cities, they have diff'rent ways,
Football and eggnog and Christmas parades.
I'll take the blanket; I'll take the reins;
Christmas for cowboys, and wide-open plains.
A campfire for warmth as we stop for the night;
The stars overhead are the Christmas-tree lights,
The wind sings a hymn as we bow down to pray;
Christmas for cowboys and the wide-open range.
It's tall in the saddle we spend Christmas Day,
Drivin' the cattle on the snow-covered plains.
So many gifts have been opened today;
Ours is the sky and the wide open range,
It's Christmas for cowboys and wide-open plains.”
Chris smiled as the song finished and knew in his heart they’d chosen this one for him. He’d never heard the song and wondered briefly if it was something Vin had come up with. The young man was a poet at heart and often penned his own songs and poems. The ‘Cowboy’ nickname would always be his and Vin’s, but the others also used it and it meant a great deal to him.
“Well now, boys, that was downright wonderful. Can you play anything else?” Nettie asked as Casey got up and passed around glasses of the non-alcoholic Christmas punch she’d made.
“What would you like to hear, Nettie?” Vin asked.
“How about one we can all sing. Deck The Halls.”
“Josiah?”
“No problem, Vin,” Sanchez said and started to play.
Chris listened and joined in on several more songs through the day, but the extent of his injuries and the lingering pain soon told him it was time to call an end to it, at least for himself. He’d thought he’d done a good job of keeping the pain to him self, but soon felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into Jackson’s soft brown eyes.
“Got your meds here, Chris and your bed’s ready for you.”
“Thanks, Nathan,” Larabee said as he reached for his cane and stood on shaky legs.
“Anytime, Chris,” Jackson said as he watched the injured man take the pills and move towards the bedroom at the back of the house. He’d spent more than a few nights in the room after his wife and son died, but at least now he had a place he could call home again and that was thanks to Sarah’s diligence and love. The silence behind him made him smile and he turned towards the living room before entering the bedroom. “You boys go on and play some more.”
“You sure, Chris. I mean if it’s too loud…”
“Don’t worry, Vin, knowing Dr. Midland these pills will knock me out before you guys get through the first chorus,” Larabee said. He moved into the room and closed the door behind him before walking over to the bed. He knew Nettie had been in earlier and turned down the blankets for him, and he was again awed by the woman’s care of him since Sarah’s death. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, his gaze wandered to the eight by ten picture frame of driftwood and seashells. He picked it up and ran his fingers over the images there. Sarah and Adam looked back at him from behind a circle of glass. Their eyes sparkled, their mouths were curved up in the most incredible smiles, and they sat in the center of a castle made of sand. His mind went back to that perfect day when the three of them had gone to the beach and spent the day just being a family. They walked in the sand, swam in the clear water and bought hot dogs from a vendor near the parking lot.
“God, I miss you so much,” he thought as he laid back and held the picture to his chest. His hand reached for the chain around his neck and he fingered the ring as he closed his eyes.
It was several hours later when he opened his eyes to silence and sat on the edge of the bed. He glanced at the clock on the wall and realized he’d slept for over four hours. Standing up he stretched and reached for the cane as his leg felt stiff and unyielding. He made his way slowly across the room and opened the door. The living room was deserted, the furniture was back in place, and most of the gifts remained where they’d been when he went to lie down. Soft music could be heard coming from the kitchen and Chris listened to the words of a song that played on the antique radio and felt the sorrow wash over him in lingering tides of pain. He listened as Nettie Wells sang the lyrics in perfect tune as tears ran down his cheeks.
“Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...
Would you hold my hand
if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven...
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please...begging please
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...
Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...”
Nettie turned away from the window as the song finished and came up short as she spotted the man standing in the doorway. “Oh, Chris, I’m so sorry,” she said as she hurried to his side and led him to a chair at the kitchen table. She held him while he cried, the trembling shoulders evidence of how much pain he was feeling.
Chris let her hold him, let her see what he seldom showed and knew she was the one person who understood just how much he’d lost. His fingers encircled the ring at his neck as he reached for some contact with his wife. “God, Nettie, I miss them so much.”
“I know you do, Son. I’d give anything to turn back the time.”
“I go to bed every night thinking when I wake up it will have been a dream and I reach for her every morning, but she’s not there. She was my rock…my conscience…my life, Nettie, and because of that bitch she’s gone! Why couldn’t she have just stayed out of my life?”
“That’s a question only the good Lord can answer, Chris, and we both know that won’t happen for a long time.”
“I wish…God I wish I could have just one more day with them. To tell them how much I love them and how sorry I am that I wasn’t there to protect them.”
“Chris, do you believe in heaven?”
“I have to, Nettie, because if I don’t then why bother with the hell that’s here on earth.”
“It’s only hell if you let it be, Chris, and I know Sarah would not want you to go through life thinking this was hell. You have friends and family and that’s more than most people have, Chris Larabee. There’ll come a time and believe me I’m probably being selfish here, but I hope that time is far into the future, but the time will come when your friends and family will be saying goodbye to you. When that happens you’ll be reunited with Sarah and Adam and the baby and you know that song we just heard will be right, because when that happens there’ll be no more tears in heaven, but there’ll be plenty here on earth. You’re a good man and there’ll be plenty who’ll mourn your passing.”
“Thanks, Nettie,” Larabee said as he looked into her tear stained face. He reached out and pulled her into a hug before pulling away and walking to the window. The lawn was covered in a pristine blanket of white, the branches on the trees at the back of the property were bowed with snow and he took a deep breath as he realized the beauty before him was something Sarah had loved. They’d stood at the window of their house on many nights watching as the snow wafted gently from the sky.
“Chris are you sure you’re all right?”
“No, Nettie, I’m not, but I will be,” he assured her drawing strength from the memories that warmed him. “Sarah loved to watch the snow. She said it was God’s way of covering the old until he was ready to bring in the new. She loved every day…no matter what it brought as long as we were together.”
“Yes, she did. Is there anything I can get you?”
“No, not unless you can bring them back…Oh, hell, I’m sorry, Nettie. I know how hard this has been for you…for Buck and all those who knew Sarah and Adam. I keep forgetting how many lives she touched.”
“It’s okay, Chris, we all understand,” Nettie said, turning when she heard someone at the front door.
Chris continued to stare out at the lawn and realized his love for Sarah went beyond this life and he felt her touch as if she was next to him. ‘I love you, Sarah,’ he whispered, turning away from the scene as footsteps sounded behind him.
“Hey, Cowboy, how are you feeling?”
“I’m okay, Vin.”
“Would you boys like some coffee and cake?” Nettie asked.
“Cherry?” Larabee asked.
“Cherry it is, Chris. Vin?”
“I’ll have the same, Nettie,” Tanner answered as he watched the blond sit at the kitchen table.
“All right, Vin, what’s going on?”
“What make’s ya think anythin’s goin’ on?”
“I seen you look like this before and it’s either bad news or you’re sick. Which is it?”
“Actually it’s neither. I jest came out ta give ya the news. Got a call from the officer who took the report on your mugging.”
Larabee’s brows came up as he asked. “Did they catch them?”
“Yeah, in a little town just north of here. They tried to rob a liquor store.”
“What happened?” Larabee asked as Nettie set a plate in front of them.
“They tried to shoot their way out…didn’t make it.”
“Damn! What a waste of life.”
“Yes, it was, Chris, but they chose how they lived and they died in the same way,” Nettie told him as she sat down opposite Vin Tanner.
“Thought you ought to know that Jewel’s real name was Cassandra McCleod and she’s got several priors including assault with a deadly weapon. The other two had rap sheets as long as your arm. Attempted rape, assault and battery, armed robbery. They weren’t angels, Chris and I ain’t saying they deserved to die for what they done to ya, but at least they can’t hurt anyone else.”
“Lord have mercy on their souls,” Nettie said as she studied the blond. She knew he could never forget what he’d gone through in the last year, but somehow time was helping him heal and for that she was grateful.
“You know, Sarah and Adam loved this time of year. Loved the snow, the hustle of shopping, the crowds and the songs,” Larabee said as he stood and walked to the window once more. “The night I was mugged I’d been in that little bar Inez Recillos works at and I had a bottle of pills with me.”
“Chris…”
“Hold on, Nettie, I wasn’t planning on taking them, but the idea that they were there was somehow reassuring. I knew if I ever got low enough to take them there’d be a voice that would stop me. Sarah was more than just my conscience…she was my angel and she knew when I needed that extra shove and she wasn’t afraid to blast me when she thought I needed it. Inez wanted to call a taxi for me, but I needed to walk, needed to be alone, but you know what?”
“What?” Tanner asked softly.
“I wasn’t alone. Even after the attack she was there and she took care of me. I don’t mean that literally, but I could hear her voice and felt as if she was right there. My Snow Angel and she made sure I called Buck.”
“She’ll always be there, Chris, just as long as you believe with your heart.”
“I know, Nettie,” Larabee said and smiled as he looked back at the table. “And I also know as long as I have faith, Sarah and Adam and our baby will be in my life. I’ll never stop loving them!” Chris vowed and returned to the table and the last strains of the song played once more on the radio.
“'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.”
‘At least not yet,’ Larabee thought and smiled inwardly as a sense of peace washed over him. ‘I love you, my Snow Angel!’
