Parenting Tips

Where you can find advice on raising children and kids

The views expressed here are from the Midnite Cowboy, the middle aged father of an 8 year old daughter.

Did you know that this United States of America is a free country?

Did you know that you can threaten to hit or harm someone and you can be arrested for assault?

Did you know that you can hit someone and be arrested for battery?

Did you know that the guards in a prison are not allowed to strike inmates?

Did you know that in the United States of America, the Home of the Brave, that you can go to jail for threatening to hit or actually hitting another person unless---

That person is your child.

The Home of the Brave where adults hit children that are half their size.  Hit them because they are mad. Hit them because they have a right to.  Hit them to show that they love them.

Everyone is having fits about gun control after this Columbine thing.  The truth is that more children die violent death or suffer severe injury from blows issued by their parents or guardians.

There is a mighty thin line between love and hate.  Each of us has a line drawn in the sand between maintaining a temper and loosing control.  Know where your line is and never get close to it.   Because once you exceed it, it is very easy to cross it again.  Keep crossing it and  one day, you may have to miss your children's funeral.  Miss it because you will be rotting in jail.

Sometimes the law intervenes before children are killed.  They call it foster care.  I was involved as a foster parent for years.  One person can report you for child abuse one time.  Two days later, the State will be at your door.  You may be at home or you may be at work.   When you get back home your kids will be gone.  They may be forced to live in 8 or 10 different homes.  No matter how bad it was at their house, the kids always want to go back home.

Think, before you act.



Come on baby.  Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.


When I was growing up about a million years ago in the 1950's and 1960's there were a few television shows about parenting;   Father Knows Best, The Bradey Bunch, and My Three Sons are examples.   If you get a chance to catch the reruns of these, you should.

These shows were fantasy,  I can't recall a single family in real life that was exactly like these.  However, I think they were trying to provide and example of how it ought to be.

Well some body asked me one time, "Cowboy, hows come you know so much about babies?"

"I used to be one Ace."

Looking back to those days, I think my parents did the best that they could do.  I turned out fair.  I wish I had turned out better.  But I yam what I yam.

There was a period in my life where my daddy says that I was not human.  It started back when I was 16 and lasted well into my 30's.  I guess the purpose of this letter is to try and help you avoid this situation with your children.

Well I am not here to argue with you about spanking or beating.  We can argue till we are blue in the face and neither one of us are going to  change one iota from what we believe.

Well here is my story.  Momma and Daddy both worked.  I had a black lady named Suzi that baby-sit me and my brother during the summer and after school.  I guess she really left more of a lasting impact on my life than most other people did.

Momma got home from her job at Sears Robuck earlier than Daddy got home from being a cop, so she usually got the first word of the day into disciplining me.  A hair brush was her tool for administering various bits  of direct punishment to my rear end.  She would always finish it with, "Wait till your daddy gets home."

I hated those words, because he would finish the job with a switch from the mimosa tree in the front yard.  It was always something to look forward to.

Things changed abruptly when I hit 16.   I was 6 foot tall and weighed 220, lifted weights, and was the defensive nose tackle on the football team.  I could eat a quarterback's lunch before he even thunk about handing the ball off.  In fact during practice, I broke the right leg of our team's star quarterback.

Daddy came home from a hard day at work and proceeded to try and slap me for doing one of my misadventures.  I don't know what I did.  Maybe run into a tree with his 57 Chevy. 

Well I had decided that I was not going to take it anymore.  I responded to his slap with a left hook between the nose and the lips, and he sailed across his new recliner onto the den floor.

I regretted it as soon as the punch flew.  It took nearly 15 years to get over it.  Eventually we became human again, but we never talked about it.

Well Daddy has slipped on to better places now.  I liked him, I loved him an d I admired him.  But things could have been so much better.

I had an opportunity to see daddy at work teaching classes for LSU Law Enforcement Institute.  I saw him on the job as a cop before that.  I was on the baseball team he coached.  I went to many fishing trips and fish fries for over 30 people that he held.  The truth is that at home, he was a different person than he was in public.  I guess we all are.  And the question is, "Is it right?"  Should we treat our family and children that much differently than we treat our bosses, co-workers, and friends.

I seam to recall in the Good Book, The Bible. That we should love our neighbor as we do ourselves.  Or do unto others as we would like them to do to us.  Don't make me get it out and say it exactly, but it is close.

Doesn't it seem to reason that we should treat our children better or at least the same as we treat our neighbors?  I recall something said about. "Father's love your children. "   "Husbands love your wife."

It does not say fathers love your children if they are obedient.  And it certainly does not say husbands love your wife if she is submissive. 

Well try this.  Next time your boss makes you mad, just take out a hairbrush and spank his or her ass.  Take off your belt and beat his or her rear end with it.  That will get you a raise.

The other day Heather and I were swimming at the YMCA.  I watched a little 4- year old girl run down the edge of the pool and jump into the water onto her father, who just happened not to be looking at her.   She landed on his face that was turned the other way.  You could tell that he was surprised and maybe a little hurt by the impact. 

He proceeded to spank her small rear end about 10 times screaming don't ever jump on someone unless they are looking at you.

I guess the moral is that your children are not really your children.  They are a loan, a gift for you to enjoy to make your life on this earth  a little more pleasurable.  In return of this gift, you have a few years to  teach these kids how to be happy, well adjusted and sociable. You have to  teach them how to survive and be the best they can be.

If you don't do this, then you are a failure.  It does not matter if you work your way up to the top of the business world, or if you become the President of the United States, you are a failure if you do not complete your mission.

I have helped raise about 4 kids.   I was a young father and an old father.  I think I did better the last time around.  I guess time mellowed me.  I was a lousy father the first time.   After the divorce she will not talk to me.  It has been maybe 15 years now.

Do not fall into the trap  about raising your kids to impress your family or friends.  You can not please everyone and don't even go there.

Follow your conscience, that inner voice.  Listen to it. With each circumstance, try and remember that your kids are people just like the people you work with every day.  Be guarded with your reactions.   You will leave this world one day and your kids will have memories of you weather they are bad or good.  These memories are our legacy.  Your trails.  You have to make memories that are good.  Nothing else matters.

Just a year or two before Daddy had a heart attack and died, he an I were eating lunch at Francis' Restaurant in Columbia, Louisiana in Caldwell Parish.  A woman that I did not know, sat down at the table.   I was visiting home from Baton Rouge, where I now live and work.  It is rather customary for you to know nearly everyone in a small town like Columbia and not unusual for you to just sit down at someone else's table. 

The lady was about my age and she was complaining about her 16 year old son.  It was one big problem after another.   He seemed like the worst person on earth.  Daddy listened for about 20 minutes glancing at her over the T-Bone Steak as she spoke.  He didn't say anything, just nodded, listened, and ate.

Finally he said,  "I guess you better kill him. I may be able to find someone to kill him for you.  Maybe you should just shoot him your self."

She stopped in mid sentence.  Got up and left.

So, what if, like the lady in the cafe, you waited to late.  Your kids are nearly grown and they ain't human to you anymore.    Well try this.  "I am sorry, I was wrong.  Let me make it up to you. " From that day treat them like humans.  They are your kids, but they are human beings.




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children, parent, parents, parenting, kidbits, parenting 101, parenting101, mother discipline, discipline, domestic, domestic discipline, petticoat discipline, spankings, spanking, kids

children, parent, parents, parenting, kidbits, parenting 101, parenting101, mother discipline, discipline, domestic, domestic discipline, petticoat discipline, spankings, spanking, kids

children, parent, parents, parenting, kidbits, parenting 101, parenting101, mother discipline, discipline, domestic, domestic discipline, petticoat discipline, spankings, spanking, kids