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Back to the Midnight in LA series
TEASER: A short story from Angel's point of view. Looking at Lindsey and another, small confrontation. It's also in present tense instead of it past tense, so it's a little different.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters mentioned except for Grace. The others belong to Joss Whedon and co.
I remember all the times Wesley and Cordelia have been worried that I'm not in this world enough. I remember when they told me I need to have an attachment to something. It took me some time to realize what my attachment was. It's them, Wesley and Cordelia, my family. They no longer have anything to worry about. I have them and I have Grace.
I'm not scared of Lindsey or what he might do anymore. All I remember when I think about Lindsey is Grace doing everything she could to save me from the last demon he sent out into my mind. He can try to do whatever he wants, but nothing is going to stop us. With Grace, Wesley and Cordelia on my side, we're unstoppable and he's not going to beat us. Despite what plan Lindsey is cooking up at this moment, I know he won't win.
The only time I feel anything toward that firm is when Grace was in my apartment. When she goes into the fridge to find something to eat and has to push past the butcher's blood in order to find any real food. I hate that Grace has to see that part of me. I hate that she loves me so much but can't be with me. I especially hate the vampire that made me this way, the vampire Wolfram and Hart has raised to torture me.
I wish Grace were here right now. I miss her terribly when she's away, especially if I'm alone in the apartment. Maybe if Wesley or Cordelia were here I wouldn't be thinking about her so much, but since I'm alone she's the only thing on my mind.
If she were here, I'd be able to just sit with her and listen to her voice. Things in our lives are rarely quiet and we relish any time we have together. Normally our lives are filled with activities. We're always fighting some demon, defending our clients or ourselves. We no longer put anything past Lindsey and the rest of the firm. We rarely have times like this. Time when we can pursue other interests and when we can spend time together.
That's why I wish she were here. I'm sitting on my couch alone and wishing Grace were here because time like this is rare. If she were here, I'd be the happiest man on this planet for the few minutes we could spend together before someone new came along to ruin it all. And someone would come, I don't doubt that.
As I sit alone, I'm most vulnerable. There's probably some demon sent my Wolfram and Hart skulking around here somewhere. I wouldn't be surprised if I were jumped in the next few minutes.
"Cold Angel?" A voice asks from behind me.
I laugh. "That doesn't work unless I shiver Lindsey." I reply, but remain on my couch. What good would turning around do when I can see him in the mirror and know that he has a crossbow trained at my back?
"I'd just like to remind you of the last time we met like this." He says, "Do you remember?"
"How could I forget?" I ask. "As I recall you assured me you'd never end this until one of us is dead."
I see him nod in the mirror. "I intend to keep it that way."
"So why not kill me now?" I ask. "You have the crossbow. Just pull the trigger Lindsay."
"If I knew that would end it, then I would." He says. "But that wouldn't be the end of it and we both know it. If I killed you right now that demon would come home and find you gone. She'd tell your friends and they'd all be coming after me." He pauses to laugh. "I'm sure I could beat the three of them normally, but with the anger that your death would cause . . . I'm not so sure that I'd be able to handle that."
I smile because I know he's right now. "Good job Lindsey. You're not as stupid as you look, country boy."
"Shut up Angel. You're not exactly in a position to toss insults around the room."
Another smile crosses my face. "You're right Lindsey. I'm not. But there's going to be a time when I have you in this position and you're going to be throwing insults like it's the end of the world. So why not let me have my day?"
Lindsey growls deep in his throat. I can tell I've pissed him off. But why not taunt him now? After this, I'll either end up dead or with the upper hand. So I'll do whatever I have to in order to get there.
"You know it's true Lindsey." I say. "When I kill you, you're going to be screaming at me. Wishing me dead or whatever else you'll be saying. And I'll let you say whatever you like."
"Shut it Angel." He says. "I have the crossbow here."
"Yeah, I know." I reply. "But you forgot, you just told me you'd never use it."
There's a long pause as Lindsey thinks about what I've just said.
"Why are you here Lindsey?" I ask finally.
"To give you a warning." He says. "This is all going to be over soon Angel. We're not going to have to worry about each other after that and we'll both finally have peace."
"One of us six feet under?"
He nods. "One of us will find peace in death and the other will find peace in life. Which one of us will die, I have no idea, but you have to be ready for either possibility."
"What happened to your cocky attitude Lindsey?" I asked. "What happened to the 'I'm going to win at all costs' attitude?"
"I realized how unrealistic it was." He replies. "I'm going to work my ass off to win, but if I don't . . ." he trails off. "I'll see you Angel."
I watch in the mirror as he walks up the stairs and out of the office. That was something I've never expected. I expected him to pull that trigger, never to have a heart to heart talk.
He seemed scared and I wonder why. Lindsey has almost nothing to be scared of. He has no family, no one to leave behind if he dies. Maybe that's what he's scared of.
I sigh. Whatever he's so scared of, maybe I should be scared of to. He was right, I need to be ready for death because that may be how our battle ends. My death.
That's something Grace has to be prepared for too.