January 20, 2004
Well , hello all... a lot has changed over past year and I have grown, learned, failed and lived more in this year than quite possibly a combined total of the rest. It is amazing how people adapt and how priorities that meant something, change as time passes. I remember a time in my life where I felt like I was missing out if I didnt make it to the downtown scene every weekend... Now it is a rare time and I can have a blast just going to the movies with friends, painting or taking a walk by the lake. I guess what I am saying is it is the people and friends in your life that matter and those true friends will always remain constant. They are a gift from God. All the other stuff is frilly stuff- not worth much. I have made lifelong friends this year and even though I havent found "him" I hope to and pray that when we meet, we will know it and start to build a great friendship and love, and share life and laughter everyday. I am excited for that time to come. I hope my best friend has learned from me as I have him this past year. Those of you who are my friends- you know who you are, thanks for being there for me. I admire and love you all.Continue to keep me in your prayers as I will all of you.
February 23, 2003
it is weird how some things play out in life like a skit from seinfeld or the jamie kennedy experiment. i swear it keeps life interesting and ironic at times. things for me lately seem to have been orchestrated by some hollywood director, but i am the key player. the magazine industry which is linked on my page, has an article called sex and the city beautiful...here is an excerpt from last months inspirations ...
truth can be so painful, yet simultaneously so liberating. to give and take a broken heart is inevitable and a guaranteed struggle of life. where are we? are we where we want to be? doing what we want to do? are we with "the one" we want to be with? take some time away from the rat race of society and reevaluate your truth. if there is someone who loves you, think about him or her and what he or she means to you. if love cannot be reciprocated, put aside the fear of causing them pain and let them know. on the same note, if you can be true to yourself and know you have found love with someone, put aside your own fear and dare to discover a new level of life. we live for perfection, but we settle for good enough. we work for success, but remain unfulfilled. we dream of true love but fear the unknown, and we wait for ultimate happiness when it is right there all along...
as a famous quote states...The first time I saw you I was afraid to hug you, the first time I hugged you I was afraid to kiss you, the first time I kissed you I was afraid to have you, and now that have, I am afraid of losing you. fear can be a warning to protect us from harm- our bodies way of keeping us safe, yet fear can paralyze us from becoming stronger and living life as it should be lived. which fear are you holding on to?
January 1. 2003
Welcome to the New Year. I am hoping the New Year brings friends, family great joy and prosperity. As many of you know I am now living back in Orlando and enjoying a career working in the field I love. Tampa was definitely an amazing experience but I am glad to be home. To all my Tampa friends remember Orlando is not far. This month I am eagerly anticipating to London and Rome. It will be my first trip but I hear that I will enjoy it the I will not want to come back, But I highly doubt that because I Love Orlando and all that intails. Friends, family and the weather, you can't beat it. In conclusion remember me in your prayers, for that is the best gift you could give me, as I will remember you in mine. Oh and by the way maybe money is always good too.(see oddtodd.com) jk
November 14, 2002
wow, can you believe it is almost the end of the year. I love this crisp weather and hope it stays this way for a while. what's new you ask??? well, i am really enjoying my job and my house again. I have done a lot of work on it and had my dad (who is by far the greatest human being on earth) build me a deck. I was able to buy a hot tub from a youth pastor who wanted to put his son through college, so i new it was for a good cause- so i bought it :). I also found a great store called living quarters and shop there every chance i get. Okay now on to the good stuff... who of you watch 24? i am sure i have mentioned it before, but it is the best show on television...everytime i watch it, i get chills and just when you think you have it figured out-or even if you have no clue-BAM it hits ya. kudos to the writer and to keifer sutherland. so my vote for the best new series on television...dah dah dadahhhh 24. and a close second although not new is sex and the city. ok they shock you too at times, but it is so funny and true to life, and i am glad they finally gave samantha a soul. cool links i have visited are, www.explodingdog.com, www.clubgina.com (the most talented artist in orlando-gina berrnardini-dare i say...ok all of you orlando artists are amazing... i love you all. another artistic site to visit is www.independentkitty.com . hey maybe i will show up on google now with all these web addy's !! oh and last but not least, best up and coming yummy actor is CHARLIE HUNNAM...and by the way...will someone please make a decent fan page on him...i don't have the time... i am too busy looking for my own charlie or aiden, lol!! well, take care all of you and i send my love ...PS- sis and I may go travel in europe for a while...wish us luck-YIPEEEEEEEEE June 1, 2002
Hello friends, remember me? It has been a long time since we have chatted and Just to let you know what has been going on I thought I'd say a few words... (clearing throat) Well, this year has been one of changes. I moved to Tampa in September to work with Dolphins and am now being transferred back to Sea World a year later. The show is gonna move to Sea World. I have learned alot and met some fantastic friends and had some great champane. It is also the first time I've lived in an apartment...so that was new, but I feel like I went off to college and am now returning to my past life in O-town. It was great to work here and meet so many great people and I just hope I get a chance to enjoy my new job (which is right around the corner)as much as I have enjoyed this one.
Well, here is a little thing my sister wrote about our DM experience (the best band in the world) I was there, but let her do all the talking (I, believe it or not was speechless)...
this is something i wrote up for myself worth never forgetting... i wanted to share it with you, hoping you'll be someone to get a good kick outta it.
I bedroom at the Wyndham, hotel= $100.00
2 up close tickets to the Depeche Mode concert= $120.00
the clerk telling us the band is staying at the hotel= hours of "what if" conversations
almost getting run over by Dave Gahan in his rented ATV=right place, right time
2 minute walk through traffic to the arena from the hotel dressed up sexy with my sister= one minor fender bender
walking into the pitch black concert hall tripping down the stairs (more then once) in high heals grabbing onto the railing for dear life- to not fall on my ass= one VERY red face!
seeing a kick ass performance, getting to see Dave Gahan do his famous "spin" with the mic. stand, ten thousand fans singing happy birthday to one of the band members, Andrew Fletcher= horse throat, tired arms, sore feet, one big smile.
going back to the hotel calling the night productive. Later walking up to your room, running into crew realizing you are on the same floor as the band.= minor heart palpitations
Andrew Fletcher passing me by numourous times, finally working up the nerve, introducing myself, handing him a letter I wrote for DM months ago. Talking with him one on one, personally wishing him a happy birthday, telling me where the rest of the band is- convincing me to go say hello; giving me a kiss goodbye!= major heart palpitations
Going to the hotel bar trying to blend in with the small crowd of people with the band. spotting the 3 girl back up singers, the drummer, the other keyboard player, Martin Gore, but no Dave Gahan (frown). Watching them all singing DM songs taking shots moving over to my side of the bar to play the piano; listening to Martin Gore bellow numourous tunes (while wearing the funkiest black hood I've ever seen with crochet horns on top), leading us all in the oddest veriety of classic songs I've ever heard! blending in (knowing their all happily drunk) singing along till the bar closed at 3:00am; Waiting for the elevator by Martin, again working up the courage to introduce myself shaking his hand, telling him my thoughts on the show, their music, how i ran into Andrew earlier, flattering him as he gives me a hug. Getting to say goodnight to Martin 4 doors down from our room= "absolutely priceless"
Hello friends, I wanted to give you my thoughts on first dates... so i know most people don't think a movie is a good first date, please! It is a great first date. And that is not my opinion- its fact :) lol. All you need to know about a guy is right there in front of you... lets examine this idealism. first does he pay? This is an important factor because even though girls have come a long way baby, it is still nice to be treated- esp. if he asked you out. I pay on dates, so i have nothing against that, but for the first date i thing the guy should pay. Secondly, when i mix my popcorn and raisinettes does he try it or get all grossed out (don't laugh, if you ever take me, thats what i'll order- it is a tradition with me and my sister. It's yummy!) Also, what kind of movie does he like...does he pick it or do you? Or do you compromise ahhh the KEY word - compromise...these are all indicators of the type of person he is and how you two will get along.
It is important to see if a guy will hide his feelings during an emotional part by trying to make a joke, squirm in his seat, if he losses it or if he lets you be. A guy who makes a joke is uncomfortable with emotions... a guy who squirms is trying to avoid those emotions (but at least he has 'em somewhere), and a guy who losses it is too in touch with himself, lol. I think a happy medium is nice.
Another good indicator on whether or not we are compatible is is he going to the bathroom the whole time- if so, this means he doesn't plan well (or he just has a small bladder) which in any case is a no-no. Go Pee Pee before the movie guys... A little bit of proactiveness gets you a long way.
And lastly, do you talk about the movie- I like a guy who critiques it, but not over-criticizes it. I love movies so I can tend to get the good and bad out of most. It is good too, if he doesn't agree with everything you say- I should hope he has a mind of his own, and yet isn't one of those who disagrees with everything (devils advocate type). I'll skip those guys. See, I told you, all you need to know about a guy you can learn at the movies... and then you both can see if it is worth investing a real "get to know you date" because the chemistry was there. Believe me, you'll know it if it is :) take care guys and girls don't forget where to go on your next first date- c- ya.
Well, my sister finally did it! She is off to LA officially and I almost didn't say goodbye to her- I was afraid feeling the emotions I would have would hurt too much... didn't know if I could handle it. She is the one who is shy and reserved mostly but I could tell she wasn't looking forward to leaving her soulmate behind :). When I finally found the energy to say goodbye I realized it wasn't goodbye because we are so much a part of each other that she is a part of me... I told her she was life to me. I can only hope and pray that those of you reading this have the opportunity to love someone that much. She was there for me during the hardest points of my life, turned down her friends to stay at home with me so I could cry on her shoulder- didnt even matter if it was all about a guy or something even less significant- if it was important to me, it was to her. We'd sit and laugh together, sometimes about the craziest things and sometimes we wouldn't talk but that was ok too. In her 19 years of life I don't think there are many things that she can't handle- I admire her for that.
I guess what I am trying to say is don't be afraid of your emotions, dont give up that embrace... I recently met a friend who I had never met before and he has inspired me to be ok by myself. I think I am gonna go hiking and see what I am all about...
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance, in a relationship and find out you still care for that person. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from that person whom you would like to hear them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart.
Never say good-bye if you still want to try-never give up if you still feel you can go on-never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go. Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed-to those who still believe, although they've been betrayed, to those who still need to love, although they've been hurt before, and those who have the courage and faith to build trust again. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real! Hope you dream of that special someone. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, and those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
MELISSA DAWN
well, this is the beginning of my on line diary which we will see how often i post...
while i am sitting here deciding what i should write, i have come to the conclusion that we are all looking for someone who likes us as much as we like them... the song by matchbox 20 "everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking about somebody else..." seems so true at times. girlfriends of mine as well as myself, have met some wonderful guys in this thing called life and have been the sole object of there desire but didn't feel the same about them or as strongly as they did. continuing friendship sometimes isn't the right thing because it was just leading them on to what they thought would be more. i now think that being friends sometimes only prolongs confusion and a girl can be too nice. on the other hand, i also have been the object of desire yet when i recipricate the feeling in some way, i am left with a nice time but no relationship- almost like the hard to get thing or the grass is greener thing.
so the moral of my story is to be careful with others' feelings- find the fine line between being nice and leading someone on... don't say your gonna call if your not- he or she is better off knowing your not. i do believe there is someone who will live up to my dreams and i, them, and i don't think this means there are no problems for us but it would be good and right for us to be together. I can't wait to find him, but sometimes its fun looking.
