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Rabbit and Snake
There's a blind rabbit and a blind snake that are friends. One day, the blind rabbit tells the blind snake that he doesn't know what he is, because he can't see.
The blind snake takes ahold of the rabbit and says, "Well, you have long fur covered ears and a short little tail. You must be a rabbit."
The rabbit was happy to know what he was.
He tells the blind snake, "Come here and I will try to determine what you are."
The blind rabbit feels the snake and finally says, "You're cold and slimy and don't have any balls. You must be a lawyer."


A Young Couple
A young couple was out cruising one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off all of your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off, he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car over.
The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover your crotch with that and go get help from the gas station down the road."
She takes the shoe, covers herself between the legs, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!"

The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies with some astonishment, "I think he's too far in!"


3 wishes

One day a man was walking along the beach when he came across thisbottle. When he opened it a genie popped out. The genie said, "I will give you three wishes under one condition; your mother-in-law will get twice what you wish for." The man says, "OK, I would like a 100-acre ranch near Denver." The genie replies, "Done! But your mother-in-law has a 200-acre ranch right next to yours." The man then says, "OK, I would like a million dollars."
The genie says, "Done! But your mother-in-law gets 2 million dollars." After thinking a while about his third wish the man says, "Genie, Iwant you to beat me half to death."


A Blonde and Aligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was veryreluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. Afterbecoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own lligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the hopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the deadcreatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, Damn it, this oneisn't wearing any shoes either!"

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